Nazi aliens rule the U.S., reports Iranian news agency

Citing a report based on documents leaked by Ed Snowden, Iran's semi-official news agency Fars claims the U.S. government is being controlled by a secret regime of aliens called the "Tall Whites," who were also instrumental in the rise of Nazi Germany.

Above: Banner image taken directly from the Fars article.

The "story," which was originally published by the batshit-crazy conspiracy website Whatdoesitmean.com, describes how the Russian security agency, the Federal Security Service (FSB), compiled a report based on leaked Snowden documents.

Among the many bombshells is the claim that U.S. President Barack Obama is the incumbent leader of these clandestine puppet masters — but that a power struggle may be developing: "Most to be feared by Russian policy makers and authorities… is if those opposing the 'Tall White' 'secret regime' ruled over by Obama have themselves aligned with another alien-extraterrestrial power."

Huffington Post reports:

A first report published by the news agency over the weekend claimed that documents analyzed by the Russian intelligence services "prove" that U.S. policy is driven by an "alien/extraterrestrial intelligence agenda." The NSA's electronic surveillance is designed to cover up the alien conspiracy, the report continues, while the extraterrestrials plan for total world domination.

A few hours later Fars published a new story on aliens and the NSA, but this time the aliens are the victims. According to this second Fars report, Edward Snowden is unconsciously transmitting subliminal messages about a "false flag" plot to weaponize space. The report adds that the PRISM surveillance system collects UFO contact data, with the goal of creating a hoax alien invasion to justify space wars and ultimately, domination of the entire solar system...

...Fars is known for reproducing some of the wildest stories on the internet and presenting them as bylined reportage. Some of them are funny, like the story of an Iranian scientist who invented a laptop-sized time machine (Fars later removed this story). Others are more ominous, such as the report about a nun who claims that Syrian rebels are selling vials of Christian blood to Saudi clients which was reproduced from a U.S. website best-known for its skepticism of Obama's citizenship.

More from Foreign Policy's Passport Blog:

According to the story, "in just one example of the many outlined in the FSB report," Tall Whites helped to drastically expand the number of German submarines at the end of the 1930s from 57 to 1,163. Jump ahead a couple of decades to 1954 and the same Tall Whites have gone on to find new jobs as advisers to President Dwight D. Eisenhower. According to the supposed FSB report, the Tall Whites had come to establish the "secret regime" currently governing the United States. The Whatdoesitmean.com story suggests that this is the "secret regime" supposedly unveiled by the Snowden leaks. (The "secret regime" was actually used somewhat metaphorically by Rolling Stone to describe the gap between policies voters endorse at the ballot box and secret surveillance programs.) The Whatdoesitmean.com report draws in a bizarre Russian television appearance from former Canadian Defense Minister Paul Hellyer last week in which he claims aliens are living on Earth and are refusing to share their advanced technologies until humans make peace with each other. Hellyer made these claims after he was given access to the documents, according to the report.