Hansel and Gretel hunt the witches of Oz in This Week’s DVDsS

Two major motion pictures hit DVD this week: Oz the Great and Powerful and Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, but which witches will reign supreme? What the hell is Disney doing to Minnie Mouse? And why is that anime girl spitting on that boy? You can only find out in this week's DVD and Blu-ray releases!

Oz, the Great and Powerful

Sam Raimi heads to Oz in this prequel to the classic. How Tim Burton didn’t direct this with Johnny Depp in the Oz role I’ll never know.

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

Two leather-bound siblings wield steam-powered, stake-filled gatling guns to hunt Famke Jannsen in what may be the most gleefully anachronistic movie of all time. I have a hard time believing it isn’t brilliant, but I have an equally hard time believing it isn’t terrible, either.

Minnie’s The Wizard of Dizz

Disney remembers it owns the character of Minnie Mouse and releases this straight-to-DVD flick solely to ride on the coattails of the other Disney Oz movie, I guess. Apparently Minnie is taken to “Dizz” through a pink tornado, which should tell you pretty much everything you need to know about this cartoon.

Digimon Tamers

Better known as “the complete third season” to… somebody, surely.

Doctor Who: The Mind of Evil

The third Doctor meets a scientist who has built a machine which takes the evil out of criminals — but where that evil is going is another matter entirely.

Doctor Who: Inferno Special Edition

Another classic Pertwee Who adventure, now with extras! Includes a commentary track from the producer and the Brig, a 45-minute “making of” featurette, a look at the stunt company that worked on Who, the fourth part of the “Doctor Forever!” documentary, and much more.

Bleach Uncut Set 17

More stuff set in the anime-only “Zanpakuto Rebellion” storyline. I assume this is why the set features the character Rangiku on the cover, whose defining characteristic is having enormous breasts.

Big Bad Beetleborgs Metallix: Season 2 Vol. 1

Sure, the Big Bad Beetleborgs get all the attention. But do you ever hear about the Small Good Beetleborgs and their tireless charity work? It’s a disgrace, I tell you.

Ring of Fire

When an oil rig sets off a shit-ton of volcanoes, only that one dude who used to be married to Jennifer Garner for a while can save the day. Co-starring Locke from Lost.

Mysterious Girlfriend X

So this appears to be an anime series all about a relationship between two high school students that begins when the girl spits in the boy’s face. In fact, the whole series may be based around spit. I’m 100% serious.

Space Warriors

A “Hallmark Original Movie” about kids going to space camp. Suffice it to say, no alien shoves its ovipositors down a kid’s throat and lays its eggs in the child’s chest. I think. Pretty sure.