Dear fellow children of the '80s — remember how we all turned into Satanists? If only we had listened to author Phil Phillips and Pastor Gary Greenwald back then, two men who realized the demonic agenda in everything from He-Man to the Smurfs. Someone assembled this video of their greatest hits, and it is mesmerizing.

My favorite bits:

• Dungeons & Dragons "game pieces" scream when you set them on fire!

• "It's called necromology."

• Darth looks "almost exactly" like the Norse god Odin

• Smurfs are blue with black lips... just like corpses.

• "There's a form of witchcraft [in Star Wars] called 'Obi witchcraft.'" Obi obi obi!

[Via Cartoon Brew]