Lost Girl's mermaids prove it's not better down where it's wetter

The mermaids on Lost Girl just want to be where the people are, and steal the legs that the people have. Meanwhile Bo is having angsty memory drama with Rainer the Wanderer.

Is this a fae "monster of the week" episode, or is it part of the show's slowly unwinding story arcs? Hey, why not make it both? So we get two stories that are completely unconnected to each other (and they send Hale and Tamsin offstage altogether, to keep the episode budget under control – mermaids aren't cheap, people).

Kenzi, Lauren, and Dyson team up to tackle the case of a marketing exec whose legs were detached while swimming in the swanky corporate pool. It seemed a little weird how she didn't notice her legs being cut off until she looked down and saw that they were missing, but this all makes sense later. The client claims to be a pixie, and the team has to infiltrate a tech company to see what the boss is hiding. There's a bunch of nonsense about the company's ultra high tech heat detection system and how no one can get upset or they'll be busted… for having emotions while at work, I guess? None of this has any kind of plot payoff, other than IDing the mermaids by their fishy chill.

Lost Girl's mermaids prove it's not better down where it's wetter

Kenzi swaps fake IDs with Dyson, so she can be the efficiency expert while he plays mail boy and distracts all the women at the company. To get into the boss' inner sanctum, Kenzi crawls through the ducts. They showed the ducts she was apparently entering through, and they were just right in the middle of the office. No one noticed this girl climbing up into an air vent in the middle of the day? The writing this week was so, so , so lazy.

Anyway, boss guy has a leg collection going on. Dyson finds a pearl in the pool filter, which Lauren identifies as crystallized salt. Dyson freaks out and Kenzi makes a Sharknado joke. Despite the danger (Dyson seems to really hate mermaids), they stay on the case. Kenzi is caught by the boss who explains…you know what? Let's skip ahead a bit.

Kenzi's been captured by the mermaid family who steal people's legs so they can be human. Little sister is caught by Lauren and Dyson in the pool using a device. I thought the mermaid suit was pretty solid, good blend to her body (maybe some CGI assistance there, you can see the difference in the production stills). The client is actually a mermaid whose stolen legs were stolen back. I'm terrible at seeing plot twists coming on TV shows, and even I saw this one a mile away. The merfamily is going to team up and live among humans, divvying up the Scooby gang's legs. Lauren defeats them with a spray of tap water, because mermaids are like reverse triffids.

Lost Girl's mermaids prove it's not better down where it's wetter

Really this whole thing was just a great excuse for a bunch of fish puns, Disney jokes, and perhaps Kenzi's greatest one-liner: "For a species without assholes you sure act like one!" No one sings a duet with a crab, despite Kenzi's fervent wishes.

The other plot this week involves Bo and Rainer sorting out their drama. Can you tell this wasn't my favorite episode of the season? A lot of the Rainer stuff was numbingly boring. Some nice scenes with Rainer in a towel if you're into that sort of thing (I don't why, but this guy looks a little too "male fashion model" to me). He sends Bo back into her own memory of her time on the train, so she can learn the truth about stuff. Thangs.

This basically amounted Bo being a badass and Rainer acting really standoffish, but looking pretty good in jeans and a t-shirt. He's very dismissive of her until he finds out she's unaligned, and then there's some weird thing with Bo remembering herself at age seven with a butterfly, and a magic butterfly thing, and really Lost Girl? A flashback inside a flashback? So at that point the two of them seem to fall in love or something. Well they end of naked in bed, and Rainer reveals his purpose – he wants to dissolve the whole fae alignment system. And his fae power is to foresee events in combat, making him a super badass warrior (never did say what his fae type is, though).

Lost Girl's mermaids prove it's not better down where it's wetter

There were some fun moments on the train ("Final Countdown"), but a lot of it made zero sense.

The point of this whole shaggy-dog story ends up being a showdown with the Una Mens. The show drags out like 30 minutes of sighs and banter on the train, then does this whole major moment in about 30 seconds. When challenged, the Unas threaten to pogrom all of Bo's friends and family, so with the help of Rainer's regained combat intuition power, the two of them slaughter all the Unas.

This was a laughably bad fight scene. Rainer shouts out suggestions to Bo for what to do in combat, which allows her to kick ass. I'm pretty sure the point is that you have maybe a half-second edge on anticipating your opponent's moves. Yelling, "Now kick!" to Bo probably telegraphs that move to the Unas, especially if you factor in Bo having to register the command and then actually deliver the kick. I know it's a show about fairy tale creatures, so my suspension of disbelief should be pretty tough — but wow that was f#%@ing stupid.

Lost Girl's mermaids prove it's not better down where it's wetter

Oh, by the way, I finally figured out that the underworld they've been talking about lately isn't Ocala, Florida, but rather Irkalla, the Sumerian underworld.

To put a bow on everything, Trick later shows up at Bo's place and is like, "Yo, whatever you do, don't kill all the Una Mens!" and you can see Bo thinking, "Wow this is awkward, since I totally already murdered every last one of them." So she asks Trick, you know…why not kill them? Would it be bad or something? And he's all, "Total protonic reversal."

Actually, he explains that this would consolidate all their power into the last seed, which Trick lost. Now someone can steal that seed and be super powerful. They show a hand reaching for the seed, which I predict belongs to Bo's mom, Aife. But maybe Rainer was playing a deep game all along, setting Bo up to kill off the Unas so he can have the power seed.