So really, the advice should be:
"Use adverbs sparingly. Don't use unnecessary words."
Not:
"So really, the advice should be: "Use adverbs sparingly. And don't use any unnecessary words at all."
After that I just couldn't be bothered with the rest of the article.
Can we just cut to the chase and put River up against God (the angry, vengeful Old Testament version)? You know, the Guy who's sort of like Q, only He can create entire planets in 6 days and has no qualms about killing anyone, even cute babies.