io9. We come from the future.

So, between this and the birth control thing, the Catholic Church's policy is, for real, "We just shouldn't have to follow any laws we don't like"?

Yeah, but Sarandon conceived Eva Amurri there, what, twenty years ago? There's stairs are packed now because everyone is there hoping to get glimpse of someone boning.

Well, no, the real question is whether or not a religious organization should be able to exempt itself from Federal protections because it doesn't like them.

Man, the Catholic Church is still really missing those days when every king had to be anointed by the Pope, huh?

Oh dang, she totally has Theater Kid face.

Hahahah, get it? They were just saying "knickers", but YOU thought that they were saying something else! That makes YOU the racist!

Because that's definitely how racism works if you're a complete fucking bonehead.

Well, Patton was also kind of a huge racist, though.

It's a pretty good photoshop; I was confused at first, too.

I believe that's his face super imposed over George C. Scott's from the movie Patton.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know anyone who's served actually on the "front" (I mean, there isn't really a traditional front as we understand it these days, I guess), but it seems pretty reasonable that, however gay the army made them, they'd have more important things to worry about than boning each other.

Wait a minute, hang on. Hang on here.

And I think that's probably—you know, it already happens, of course, with the camaraderie of men in combat.

???

WHAT already happens with the camaraderie of men in combat? Is Rick talking about male soldiers getting their bone on with each other? Is he thinking (fantasizing) about frontline combat just turning into a giant sex party if women were allowed to serve on the front line?

I've got to be honest, you guys, I think if the US Army consisted mostly of special units designed to invade enemy territory and then just throw huge sex parties, I think that would do a lot more for our reputation abroad than some of the other stuff we do.

Well, or someone else could do that, and I could give them a thousand dollars for it.

Man, a $979 stroller, huh? Is it robotic? I would pay a thousand dollars for a robot stroller that could be programmed to follow me around when I went for a walk.

Man, dude should just take advantage of his physical prowess and FIGHT his way into an investment bank.

"Oh, we can all use the shit out of Excel, but how many other candidates can DESTROY YOUR FACE WITH A JUDO CHOP! HI-YA!"

I am so ready for my upgrades, I can't even tell you.

I don't think so. Chinese is hard, there's no way I'm learning that shit between now and the time I turn 80.

Aw, yeah, but the support for gay marriage trends overwhelmingly youthward. 50 years from now, the bulk of the opponents to gay marriage will probably be good and dead.

WHAT? No listing for lethal sword-fighting?

What kind of namby-pamby sports do you practice?

(I mean, all of the ones on this list, obviously, none of which are as exciting as lethal sword-fighting.)

Back when I had an online dating profile, ladies contacted me immediately after seeing the picture. So, I guess none?

The last number I heard was something like twenty cents on the dollar went to actual research or medical care, but that is not a number vetted for accuracy.

io9

Chris Braak AUTHOR