@Pope John Peeps II: Seriously? That's awesome! I saw it while in university and it was pretty . . . . spectacular. The fight scene in the park was particularly memorable.
@snugbug: And, follow-up: how does it compare to Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
Does Tucker Max's Big Poop Out have lesbian vampires? If not, would lesbian vampires have made it better or worse?
Oh Richard,
I said it last week, but I have to say it again. You're a truly talented writer who can take the insufferable and witless and make them seem interesting and profound. Or, compare them to a wobbling stick of ballet butter with a face carved upon it. You had me at "Handbags." Best of luck, sir, and I look forward to reading your work again soon.
@Richard Lawson: Excellent. I'm really happy to hear it!
The paragraph is really weird, but also completely wonderful. Now, I can't help but think of the poor buttery toothpick ballerina when I read about The Hills. It's the perfect reference.
Richard,
Never before have I encountered someone with the writing talent to make so many incredibly boring and unpleasant people seem so thrilling and wonderful. Handbags? Countess Crackerjacks?
Your writing is . . . . fantastic, is the only word that comes to mind. I look forward to reading more at tv.com, and I hope (!) that one day, as I peruse my local bookstore, I'll have the opportunity to say to myself "My goodness! Is that Richard's new book?"
Here is the paragraph that I think I love the most:
"If someone were to find a slab of browning butter lying on the side of the road, and they carved New Hampshire's (now deceased) Old Man in the Mountain out of the butter, and then propped it up on thick toothpicks, and then told it to twirl like a pretty ballet princess, but of course it couldn't because it's just old butter on toothpicks, so it cried salty, buttery tears.... that thing would be Prom Queen to Handbags' runner-up. Handbags is one step down from weeping toothpick Old Man in the Mountain butter.
Best of luck, Richard.
This . . . this can't be a real article, can it? I've always thought that Jason Whitlock was an idiot, and man oh man, did he ever prove that I was right.