I'd like to see Rammstein in The Hunger Games. But I feel I should clarify that I wasn't trolling - just being silly.
Let's look at these points individually:
Freaky citizens - CGI. Or use old footage from A Boy And His Dog.
Fire dress - Use a papier-mache sculpture of Jennifer Lawrence. Have her jump out of the way and really, really quickly shove the sculpture into the frame. The sculpture should be on wheels so this will look as seamless as possible. Make sure that the sculpture is already on fire or it'll look pretty awkward.
Muttations - Train dogs/wolves/lizards to run around and kill people. Find freaky-looking ones to really sell the effect. But make sure that they only end up killing extras, for obvious reasons.
The final battle - Really amazing CGI. Like, Sliders amazing.
Buttercup - Get a cat. Shave it. Or get a small dog and pretend it's a cat. Glue weird things to it, like a lobster tail. Just ugly-bling the hell out of that animal.
Imaginary Lands - For the pink sky, use a big piece of pink crepe paper. Make sure it's really big, though, or the camera might catch the edges. But don't worry: it doesn't have to cover the whole sky or anything.
Awful Katniss - Dramatize Katniss' internal conflict with a little imp that sits on her shoulder and tells her what to do.
The Toddler Massacre - I've got nothing here. Just kill a bunch of children, I guess.
Nudity - Warwick Davis as a body double.
They should have called that show V: Nothing Ever Happens.
I love this article. io9, more like this.
Perhaps part of what we're talking about here (to some extent) is a distinction between the empirically real and the virtual. DS9 has a particular vision of the virtual that involves a tremendous amount of resources to create a compelling reality for one or two parties. The actual virtual - the one that we've developed over the last decade or so - is made up of networked interactions with real people. We've made a primitive Holodeck out of social media, one that is more powerful and enchanting by virtue of its mass participation and input of multiple real agents into a virtual social space. Star Trek's creators predicated their show on a fantasy of centralized machines with vast resources to make those machines run. We've broken those imagined machines into little pieces, and the control that affords us has given us ample opportunity to waste our time.
I would have put this down to a historical blindspot, but I think that Ronald Moore is really freaked about the notion of a networked communal mind. In BSG, he went to great lengths to explain why the Galactica wasn't networked in any way - and then he pitted it against a race of machines that pretty much did nothing but slaughter humanity and screw around in virtual environments. The cylons get plenty of sympathy as the series goes on, but it's interesting that the enemy of humanity bears more resemblance to us in some ways than the heroes of the show.
EDITED TO ADD: Blah blah blah.
Dropping unobtainium on the planet would be the basis for a hilarious sight gag. It would just float there. Or boomerang back.
"...there's a great line where Rebecca asks Ray, 'What is it about Alcatraz that makes everybody into a liar?'"
That's a great line? In that case I've got a few more.
"What is it about this Denny's that makes everybody into a crazed killer?"
"What is it about that gazebo that makes everybody into an accredited life coach?"
"What is it about this taco meat that makes everybody into a zombie?"
And assholes take the last damn piece of pizza.
As Picasso (may have) said: Good artists borrow, great artists steal.
I have yet to get fed up with disgusting sex.
"...the choppa..."
If there's one thing that always works out well in this world, it's a prequel.
John Hawkes v. Tom Savini for Governor gives me the opportunity to use the phrase 'gubernatorial race.' And for that I thank them. But John Hawkes would be a phenomenal Governor. He could do just the right blend of hurt and latent violence. Tom Savini would just be there for people to say 'Hey, that's Tom Savini.'
I actually felt bad writing that line. Some part of my brain said "Oh no! I hope she survives!" This is what happens when you put a tall red-haired Scottish girl in front of me.
I would absolutely love to see an episode of Doctor Who directed by Refn.
RIVER SONG: So what do you do?
[pause]
DOCTOR: I travel. Through time.
[pause]
RIVER SONG: Is it dangerous?
DOCTOR: [smiles]
[pause]
[pause]
[they kiss]
[Amy gets shot]
[The Doctor kicks The Master to death]
THE END
[pause]
And her last memory of you would be an inexplicably older and desperately weird version of yourself.
Maybe Terriers actor Michael Raymond James could reunite with Terriers actor Donal Logue for a show. They could call it Terriers. That'd be nice.
"Hi honey! I traveled back in time just to see you one last time!"
"One last time? What do you mean?"
"Oh... yeah... well, see you 'round."
At least now I have some small talk handy, should I ever run into Marion Cotillard. Or should I say A CLITORAL NIMROD? Wait, that's probably me.
I've been waiting for an actor to state the obvious for so long now.
The Host was directed by Joon-ho Bong, not Park Chan-wook. Either way, that's enough to get me to watch Snow Piercer. #corrections
