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Today is Valentine's Day, a holiday which commemorates the armistice between global cacao manufacturers and the prophylactic industry after their centuries-long shadow war. To capitalize on this day of demure remembrance, the popcorn-industrial complex has released This Means War, a new motion picture event by director McG (Terminator Salvation, the music video for Sugar Ray's "Fly").
In This Means War, actors Chris Pine and Tom Hardy play two CIA wetworks operatives who fold the Constitution into a tiny origami water closet to woo Reese Witherspoon, who in turn plays a boringly attractive career woman.
On one hand, this is the first film to mine Americans' eroding civil liberties for a PG-13 romantic comedy. But with an open mind, This Means War becomes something else entirely — a stealth Star Trek sequel. Whether it's follow-up to Star Trek Nemesis or a stopgap Star Trek 2 is all up to you. More »
