So much for my secret fetish of being approached by a clown waving a 18" dildo, accompanied by two sidekicks packed into a horse costume, promising me Whippets, Amyl Nitrate and showing me their Grindr profile photos of their sling festooned with Care Bear decals. Now it's ruined forever.
Thanks, John Wayne Gacy, for destroying another dream. Thanks a lot!
Gawker's receptionist, Mr. Pumperkins. But the trick is you have to squeak like a mouse or the odds of getting him away from pawing frantically at the goldfish bowl is practically nil.
Don't you people know that slave owners were the original "job creators"?
Really. If ever a Gawker article screamed* to be written by Moylan, this is it.
That said, Maureen did a fantastic (dare I say, FABtastic?) job. Kudos!
* Rapturously, loudly, and proudly. Preferabally with headbanging-against-bedboard accompaniment.
Good gods, man.
Your cat's family already has enough grief to deal with if someone murdered him. Why would you then want to go and kill the rest of his family, including distant relatives?
Your cat's family already has enough grief to deal with if someone murdered him. Why would you then want to go and kill the rest of his family, including distant relatives?
And killing your already murdered cat? That's just overkill.
OBvious fake.
Cats spell it "SRSLY".
Cats spell it "SRSLY".
It depends.
Carnally desecrating the corpse, or not? Video, or just photos?
Carnally desecrating the corpse, or not? Video, or just photos?
Or that North Korea will turn... Fabulous!
Damn.
I clicked hoping to read that a cat was murdering people, one by one, by one.
Until there were none left, and he'd be crowned King of England.
I clicked hoping to read that a cat was murdering people, one by one, by one.
Until there were none left, and he'd be crowned King of England.
He (she, or pending-gender-assignment candidate) would tell you. But then he/she/pending-but-trending-decidedly-in-one-direction would have to kill you.
With his/her/pending-but-trending-decidedly-in-one-direction's cock.
With his/her/pending-but-trending-decidedly-in-one-direction's cock.
Do you have any idea how sharp kittens' claws & puppies' incisors are? Do you?!!
Now that DADT is history, I'm of the mind to come up with a sniper SS logo featuring dueling penises, shooting strong, shooting far, shooting on target.
If nothing else, it'll make it much easier finding dates during SF's Fleet Week.
If nothing else, it'll make it much easier finding dates during SF's Fleet Week.
If I were a deadly military assassin capable of making a head explode from four football fields away while sparking a Camel unfiltered, I'd adapt Angry Care Bear as my team mascot/logo.
Because a Care Bear, even a mildly irked one, strikes fear in any rational mind.
Manure pits? Yeah, right.
Sounds like pigs finally wised up and started indoctrinating their piglets to strap on bomb vests to avenge the porcine Auschwitz we've created.
Sounds like pigs finally wised up and started indoctrinating their piglets to strap on bomb vests to avenge the porcine Auschwitz we've created.
I'd hope their training includes, leave The Jews out of it. Err, unless they're reform and are caught wearing "I <3 Bacon" t-shirts.
Could be worse.
In the Santorum household, it would have gone,
"I wonder if my daughter is a Lipstick Lesbian. Or into being anally penetrated by Great Danes. Or into oral sex with nursery school children. Or all three. Because pious minds constantly wonder about these things."
In the Santorum household, it would have gone,
"I wonder if my daughter is a Lipstick Lesbian. Or into being anally penetrated by Great Danes. Or into oral sex with nursery school children. Or all three. Because pious minds constantly wonder about these things."
But it'd be followed by a hearty, "But Jesus LOVES you!" and the teenaged daughter would chuckle, shrug then gobble down Mommie's Prozac until everything felt better again. Resolving silently to outdo even Daddie's worst imaginings once she's finally old enough to drive.
About the only saving grace of Bush demanding that Homeland Security people not be able to unionize is that, had the Conservatives lost that fight, Fox News would be blaming The Unions for this idiocy.
I almost led w/ "You know NOTHING, Bedbug Nation", but figured he wouldn't get the reference until after Season Two had finished.
And the vision of Tyrion McLannistar being fired out of a Leprechannon was too delicious to leave unsaid.
How about running away from correcting the catastrophe-strewn course that Free Market Fundamentalism wrecked upon the United States (then the world), instead choosing to tie Congress up in procedural knots for the past three years?
Whatever faults Obama's over-consiliatory, let's compromise 3/4 of the way before even opening negotiations approach has (and it has plenty), at least he tried to do SOMETHING to correct the ills needlessly suffered by Conservative ideology.
This abandonment by Republicans to protect the nation from harrowing financial near-collapse just so they could "feed their base" is a much closer analogy to Captain Schettino.
What's even worse (or better, depending on your Stark affinity) is when Arya (the other Stark daughter) slides down a silken rope (having been trained in Ninjitsu by The Brotherhood of the Wall (there was a reason why they all wear, black, don't you know?)) and takes out the Kingsguard with a hail of shuriken. It's not that ninjas are bad, but the foul language NinArya uses is quite scandalous. Even for King's Landing.
Do NOT get me started on when the Lanisters launch a counter-offensive, led by the long-lost King of the Leprechauns, Tyrion McLannister, and their Leprechannons. It's a gory mess. Just. Do. Not!
My cat has never dry-humped my leg with my grandma watching.
Nor does he eat his own feces then try licking my face.
Nor does he eat his own feces then try licking my face.
Cats rule. Dogs drool.
