​Plans come together, fall apart, and get impaled on a crazy Dracula

You know when you're riding a roller coaster, and you finally reach the top of a big hill, and the cars are going their slowest, but you know in just a few seconds you're going to be careening down at about a million miles per hour? That was tonight's Dracula, but with way more murder.

So those "slow" episode of the past few weeks? They've merely been planting seeds, and these seeds begin to bear fruit in "Come to Die." Dracula and Van Helsing realize only the Order of the Dragon would have tanked their big presentation last episode. The Order hears rumors that Dracula — the Dracula — is in town, and sends Lady Jayne to find proof. Lucy continues her plot to break up Harker and Mina, by first macking on Harker and then telling him about all the time Mina's been spending with Grayson. Grayson and Mina fight. Harker and Mina fight. Davenport, now knowing that Grayson has the hots for Mina, sends a bunch of thugs to burn her face off with acid. Dracula intervenes, i.e., kills 'em all. Mina is hurt, but manages to tell Harker that one of the thugs had a large birthmark on his face, and Harker realizes Davenport is behind the attack. Harker runs over there and murders Davenport, although Davenport also manages to convince Harker that 1) Dracula has tricked him into doing his dirty work, and 2) that Mina and Grayson have both betrayed him. The manic Harker runs immediately over to Lucy's house and sexxxes her up. And Dracula, reasonably pleased with how everything has turned out, leaves the bodies of the three thugs impaled on fence of the Order of the Dragon's HQ, Now they know Dracula's in town. Oh, and the super-pissed Van Helsing has kidnapped Patrick from Coupling's two rosy-cheeked kids!

What I like best is that all these plot points, while tied so intricately together, work so naturally. Everyone's decisions make sense for their characters, based on where they're at and what they know, and everyone's decisions affect everyone else. For instance, Harker wouldn't have boinked Lucy if he hadn't just killed a man, which he wouldn't have done without Mina being attacked, which wouldn't have happened if Grayson hadn't managed to make his son commit suicide, which wouldn't have happened if the Order didn't curse Dracula all those years ago. It's what I love so dearly about the first three books of A Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire, although I won't pretend this Dracula miniseries is on the same level. But I appreciate the intricacy of its storytelling, and that no one make making dumb or random decisions just to move the plot.

And all these disparate parts are creating this roller coaster, which is clearly going to start careening down a pretty major slope beginning next week. There are only two episodes to go, and I'm very confident the ending is going to be as epic as we're hoping for, and as crazy as this crazy fucking show deserves.

​Plans come together, fall apart, and get impaled on a crazy Dracula

Assorted Musings:

  • I feel dumb for being so surprised by this, but Dracula wasn't just a member of the Order of the Dragon, he was a Huntsman. Like Lady Jayne! So that does seem to mean vampires were around prior to Dracula. Good to know.
  • This doesn't really matter, but I do have some questions about the other vampires running around London. They're being summoned by Dracula because: 1) somewhere along the way, he's their sire or grand-sire or whatever? Or 2) because Dracula's just really old and powerful? More specifically, after the Order cursed Dracula and entombed him, did he ever get out and raise hell? The Order acts like he did — they're know he's powerful and they're wary of him, but if Dracula hadn't been loose until Van Helsing freed him — i.e., never been able to rampage as a vampire — I don't know why the Order would even remember a dude who hadn't been trouble for over 400 years. Right?
  • And what is Dracula summoning these vampires to London for? Just to raise hell and keep the Order busy? That makes sense, but the show has spent so much time telling us Dracula/Grayson's plans I feel like this should have been spelled out at some point.
  • Every time they show Dracula back in the 1400s, I feel like we've just caught him coming out of his Qui-Gon Jinn cosplay.
  • That scene of Lady Jayne interrogating the other vampires by making them drink holy water was AWESOME. Not only was it super-hardcore (and very creative!) the effect of the black goop pouring out of the vampire's mouths was great.
  • Did anyone else think Van Helsing had murdered Patrick from Coupling's two kids and left them in their beds as bloody piles of tenderized child? I mean, I think it would be a pretty extreme choice for an NBC show, even one that airs at 10pm, but the way they've presented Van Helsing I have zero doubts that the dude would kill innocent children if it meant causing Patrick from Coupling the slightest discomfort. Well done, Dracula. Well done indeed.