This library's copy of Fifty Shades of Grey has herpes

In related news: Did you know books can get herpes?

They can, as two Belgian professors found out when they decided to examine the Antwerp library's top 10 most checked-out books. From Time:

Each book underwent bacteriology and toxicology tests, and the findings reveal that library books are even more germ-covered than you expected.

While the experts found that all 10 books contained traces of cocaine–enough so that people who touched the books wouldn't feel the effects, but might test positive for the drug–they also found something pretty gross: Fifty Shades of Grey, your weird aunt's favorite mainstream erotic series, tested positive for traces of the herpes virus.

The professors were quick to point out that the traces of the herpes virus were so minute it would be impossible for anyone handling the book to contract it, so this is not a good reason to avoid reading it. You'll just have to content yourselves with one of the other thousands of good reasons not to read Fifty Shades of Grey.