American Horror Story had its ups and downs this season — but at least the show ended its second season with style and grace. On Wednesday night, Briarcliff went out with a bang. And for the first time in a long while, it felt like the show's script was getting the same attention as the cast's wardrobe.

And to think the plot line that involved a grown man sucking a woman's breast DRY (an actual thing someone says on the show last night) is only the second most revolting thing to happen on last night's American Horror Story (the first was a character violating a dead body) Sometimes I feel like this isn't really a…

Last night on the season finale of the show we like to call Elderly Gay Man's Sex Nightmare, we said goodbye to a few old ghosts and hello to some new ones. But the big takeaway of the night for the whole season boiled down to: If you want to solve all your Earthly problems, kill yourself.

American Horror Story is wasting no time in burning off major plot twists in every episode. Apparently nobody is safe in the Murder House. This show is burning off three season's worth of storylines, and the season's not even over yet. Spoilers ahead...

The ghosts took a break from their non-stop orgy to flip the scales, and add one more member to their cast. Yes, the big plot reveal — which many of you have been predicting — came true last night and hooey was it a doozey! Behold the spoilery reveal!

Hayden said it best when she straddled yet another ghost on American Horror Story — and asked why she's the horniest ghost in the whole Murder House. We have no idea, but if that means a ghost orgy in the Harmons' living room, then so be it.

Last night, yet ANOTHER ghost was introduced into the mix on American Horror Story — this house is getting so filled up with horny ghosts and creepy rubber sex machines, I think it's time we sat down and sorted out all this madness. Oh, and Moira bit some Armenian's penis off.

After the insanely paced two-part "Halloween" episode, American Horror Story slowed things down by trudging its characters through a slough of despond. Pretty much everyone was tapped by the shit stick this week — ruining young love, work reputations and pregnancies along the way. We also got to meet the Pig Man, and …

Now this is exactly the kind of stuff we were expecting from American Horror Story! Last night's climax of the two-part Halloween storyline raised the bar for this series as a whole.

Up until now I've been describing American Horror Story as highly watchable garbage. Highly watchable, because of the powerhouse performances Jessica Lange has been delivering each and every week, with her collection of horny ghouls. But garbage, because the family unit and main characters elicit no emotional…