Meet Bronnie, he's the "funny guy" on MTV's Real World Cancun. You know that "I wear totally hilarious t-shirts" wacky fella. But I like him, because he has knowledge of something I don't: zombie magazines. Dear Bronnie, where can we find these mags? And bless you for bringing the existence of said magazines to light.

But anyways, evil, vile attention-starved Emily decides to trample all over these delightful magazines because she is everything that is wrong with the world. So Bronnie gets in and sees his violated genre mags he gets mad. Real mad, but not at first. He goes outside to think about it, and then comes back and calls Emily Hitler. Too much? While I'm not silly enough to compare something as serious as the appeasement of Hitler to a drunken cry for attention, I still hope she gets montezuma's revenge from a faulty test tube shot at Senior Frogs.

Later Bronnie made an actual zombie movie. And I must warn you, it's really terrible. Really terrible. But as someone who has also been seriously bored and made awful "I thought this was funny at the time" videos as well, I can almost condone it and applaud the very tiny effort made. But what does that say when you're the least horrible person from the Real World Cancun cast? Enjoy....

Thanks to Kat for the heads up.

Big Man Japan
A nobody who moonlights as a giant superhero has to battle all sorts of beasties but also has to deal with a growing mob of superhero haters, and an Alzheimer’s-stricken grandfather. BMJ will be out in March.

Pandorum

The amazing, astounding, fantastic Ben Foster is stranded on a spacecraft with his coworker Dennis Quaid — and there's something aboard that wants them dead. Release date is September 4.

The Princess and the Frog

Hooray for old timey animation! Disney returns to the princess animations with a New Orleans set Princess in the Frog fairytale out December 25.

Push

It's like Heroes, the movie. Everyone has a brain power in Push, be they Movers or Sniffers (sadly, no Shakers) The powered film comes out February 6.

Crank: High Voltage

Wow Crank 2 just got a whole lot more insane. Will they be stop motion animating Jason Statham, but huge? God, I hope so. Crank 2 is out April 17.

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

Kristin Kreuk masters the high-kicks, in her own Chun-Li Street Fighter origins story, due out February 27.

17 Again


Matthew Perry gets shrunk back down to the age of 17, and injected into his own teen's high school, to try and "fix" his crumbling family. That's in theaters April 17.

Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian


Bill Hader and Amy Adams join the museum cast as General Custer and Amelia Earhart (or rather, the wax figures of these historical figures that come to life after the museum closes). Museum 2 is out on May 22.

Fanboys


A group of serious fans try and break into George Lucas' Skywalker ranch, and mayhem ensues, on February 6.

Coraline


Neil Gaiman's story about a young girl who visits an alternate world comes to life in breathtaking 3D stop-motion animation, out February 6.

2012


John Cusack cools his heels while the wold ends around him, in one terrible natural disaster after another, in 2012. It's out on July 10.

Knowing


Nicolas Cage uncovers a time capsule that details in numbers when everything awful will happen on Earth. Knowing will be released on March 20.

They Came From Upstairs


Ashley Tisdale and her family have an awesome spring break, before an alien invasion happens. Or maybe after, it's hard to tell. Either way, we'll find out on July 31.

Race to Witch Mountain


Dang teens and their alien abilities to move things with their minds. This reboot of a an old Disney classic is released on March 13.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince


The magic boys and girls are back in school, and ready for the fight to end all fights, yet again. Harry is out on July 17.

Cirque du Freak


John C. Reilly is a vampire who runs a circus with Salma Hayek, and your chances of seeing Hayek do something sexy are pretty much guaranteed. There is no release date yet.

More pics at the link. [L.A. Times]

To celebrate the final passing of SGA the Sci Fi Channel is running a week long marathon.

Monday:

The Stargate Atlantis marathon takes flight on Monday, beginning with Season 2 from 8 AM until 4 PM on the Sci Fi Channel.

Movies:
Fox FX has a great selection o' scifi tonight. Watch urinary tracts get healed with the mere wave of an inmate's hand in The Green Mile at 4:30 PM, followed with the rather unfortunate The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen at 8 PM. To top it all off, there is an 11 PM showing of Spawn.

Tuesday:

Stargate Atlantis Season 2 and 3 Marathon on the Sci Fi Channel from 8 AM until 6 PM.

The Universe -

Find out your chances for getting crushed by a world-ending asteroid here on Earth, in this week's The Universe on The History Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:

A three-and-a-half-hour version of Superman Returns is on FX in HD, at 6:30 PM

Wednesday:

Stargate Atlantis Season 3 Marathon on the Sci Fi Channel from 8 AM until 6 PM

Thursday:

Stargate Atlantis Season 3 and 5 Marathon on the Sci Fi Channel from 8 AM until 8 PM.

Movies:

The sexiest video game vixen, Lara Croft, comes to life via Angelina Jolie in Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle Of Life on TBS at 10 PM. How insanely hot would it be to have a Resident Evil Alice-versus-Lara Croft fight, and who would win? (It would have to be Alice from the first movie to keep it interesting.)

Friday:

Stargate Atlantis Season 5 is on the Sci Fi Channel from 8 AM until 6 PM.

Stargate Atlantis -
The final episode of Stargate Atlantis "Enemy At The Gate" brings a lot of old faces back to Atlantis to try and stop an invading Wraith Hive from getting into the Milky Way Galaxy and taking over Earth. Team up, SGA and make us proud, this is your last episode ever...until the made for TV movies sometime in the future.

Clips From The Final Episode Of Stargate Atlantis:














SGA Promo:





Batman The Brave And The Bold -
"Enter The Outsiders" pits Batman against a bunch of punk kids, and Wildcat comes along for the ride. The cartoon is on 8 PM on the Cartoon Network

Star Wars Clone Wars -
"The Gungan General" is a Jar Jar Binks-centric episode, mixed with a little chain gang runaway action. Hey, at least Obi-Wan is as unhappy about being around Jar Jar as I am. The next episode is on 9 PM on the Cartoon Network.

Clone Wars Promo





Sanctuary -

This week on the Amanda Tapping-and-monsters show, it's the second part of the "Revelations" two-parter, where Henry and Ashley are held captive by the evil Cabal. Find out if they make it out alive at 9 PM on the Sci Fi Channel.

Saturday:

Movies:

Adam Sandler in a gimmick movie — say what? Click the movie where Christopher Walken hands Sandler a remote control to his LIFE, which of course teaches us all a valuable lesson about something or another. Click is on Fox FX at 5:30 PM.

Here's A Trailer With Kate Beckinsale In Tiny Shorts:





But if that's not heartstringy enough for you. ABC family is showing Practical Magic at 8:30 PM. It's full of midnight all-girl margarita table dancing madness, and witch women Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman. I think it's like a rule from the 90s that if you made a movie with a predominantly female cast, you had to have a scene where they all danced around a table.





Sunday:

Movies: Let Wesley Snipes show you how it's possible for vampires to walk in the daylight and get hideous hair cuts. Blade II and Blade Trinity is on TNT at 3:30 and 5:30 PM.

The lucky Douglas Adams resurrector will be Eoin Colfer, author of the Artemis Fowl novels, which I haven't read but which sound extremely "cheeky" and nowhere near as subversive as the original HG2G series was. Colfer's novel, ...And Another Thing, is due out in October 2009, and sounds as though it'll include Arthur Dent, Zaphod Beeblebrox and Marvin the Paranoid Android, among all the other fave characters. Given that the article announcing this new piece of Hitchhiker's tie-in merchandise mentions that Adams regretted not ending the saga on a more "upbeat" note, I'm guessing you can expect a bright happy ending. And Colfer says he wants to capture Adams' style while adding some of his own voice.

I'm not actually as horrified as I sound by this business venture, because I plan to ignore it as much as possible. The same way I have any of the James Bond novels not written by Ian Fleming (with the possible exception of Kingsley Amis' Bond novel.) I'm only mildly worried that other people won't follow my example, and I'll be hearing about this new Hitchhiker's-related consumer item endlessly a year from now. Bottom line, though: if Adams couldn't recapture the magic of that one time and place, in the BBC in the late 1970s, then what hope does this other guy have? [Times via Timelordthewhite]

The Force Unleashed takes place right where Episode III left off. Darth Vader goes to the planet Kashyyk on a personal mission to find a hidden Jedi. The battle on Kashyyk is all around him (blasters coming at all angles), but that is not why he is there. Interestingly enough you cannot make Vader run — because well, Vader doesn't run.

As Vader, you get to use a lot of power from the force. I don't think it needs to be said because of the title but there aren't other weapons in this besides the force and your lightsaber. But who needs a blaster when you can just pull the roof down on your enemies? Vader rips apart a ton of warrior Wookies, trees, and doors and uncovers the Jedi's secret hideout. In mid-strangle Vader demands the Jedi to tell him where the strong presence he feels is coming from. Out of nowhere a little boy appears, grabs Vader's lightsaber and the Dark Lord realizes that this kid is quite powerful.

Fast forward over many years of torture by Daddy V (according to news reports) and the little boy has grown up and is Vader's secret apprentice. Secret because if the Emperor found out, Vader would be in a world of lightning pain from his master. What's the plan? Send the secret apprentice out to kill all the Jedi, and then team up to kill the Emperor. Oh yeah, and there can't be any witnesses to any of the events that take place, because remember you're a "secret" apprentice. Which means you get to kill everyone (good guys and bad guys). And players gain force points for the finesse in which they chose to use their force powers for slaying, so get creative. You will be able to use the force to push and pull, the force grip (choking!), the force repulse and lightning (which can later be used to electrify objects and hurl them as they explode).

As many of us know there will be a few new faces in The Force Unleashed.

Jedi Shaak Ti's Padawan, Maris Brood, is one of them. Brood wields lightsaber tonfas, is in hiding on the planet Felucia and is scary as hell upon first look.













Master Rahm Kota is the Obi-Wan figure. I expect lot of incredibly general predictions to come from him about the young apprentice's future as he seems to be tied to him in some spiritual Jedi way.












I didn't get to see Juno Eclipse in action. You heard her voice throughout each level guiding the apprentice along the way, and eventually getting much more personal and asking if he is injured in one scene, which must have been the first signs of their love interest. Planet Felucia is another welcomed visual treat during the game. Especially since you get to fight Felucian warriors and their pet Rancors.






And finally there's PROXY. Who looks like C-3PO without his clothes and bit more slender. PROXY is the plucky sidekick to the apprentice and can take the form into any personality profile that is loaded into it's memory. He takes the form of Lord Vader often when dolling out responsibilities to the apprentice.







Returning vets are Vader, the Emperor, Shaak Ti and Bail Organa, making a quickie appearance voiced by Jimmy Smits himself. Vader was brought to life by Matt Sloan who did the voice of Chad Vader (the Vader that manages a grocery store in all the online video shorts.)

There will be alternate endings and you can expect a lot of twists and turns. Many of the characters warned the young Apprentice over and over that you can't trust a Sith. Hope he watches his back.

The classic John Williams score is still intact, with an additional hour of new music from Mark Griskey. The music complements nicely the amazing graphics and new touches. It's quite gratifying, when embodying the whole "evil" side to the story, to watch the new surrounding characters' will to live. For example if you grab a stormtrooper or another character with the force they will struggle and try to grab people or things around them, or if you impale a character with a lightsaber they will try to take it out. With all the attention to detail combined with the twisty story it should make for one excellent movie, I mean video game. Alas there are no online capabilities but there will be multiplayer available on PSP and DS (up to 4 players) and the Wii version will allow you to duel your opponents. Sounds like a good time for the dark side.