Monday

It's not too late to ditch work and sit through the Threshold marathon all day today on the Sci Fi Channel. Who needs paperwork when you have sexy Carla Gugino and her incredible brain to save the world from a crashed alien spaceship? Go Red Team!

The Middleman is back, showing M.M. fighting injustice and helping his twenty-something sidekick Wendy sort out her crazy life. In this episode, Wendy goes undercover as a sorority sister to investigate a haunted sorority house, which spells pillow fight! The Middleman airs at 10 PM on ABC Family.

Casper Van Dien (or, as I will always know him, Johnny Rico) will be on Chelsea Lately on E! with the rest of the Starship Troopers 3: Marauder cast at 4 PM.

The Japanese shōnen mecha anime Gurren Lagann, about an underground future society, is on twice on Monday once at 11 and again at 11:30 PM on the Sci Fi Channel.

A sad and scruffy retired cop becomes a crusader against fascism in an alternate future. New episodes of the scifi cop drama Charlie Jade air on 3 AM on the Sci Fi channel.

Movies:

In Reign Of Fire, sad humans fight dragons with the help of Christian Bale, pre-Batman voice, and Matthew McConaughey, tonight at 12:30 AM on TBS. Plus, you can almost get to the Moon by watching Apollo 13 at 2:30 on AMC. Deep Impact, the armageddon movie that time forgot, is on soon after the dragon hotness, at 2:30 AM on TBS. And lastly, who needs Star Wars when you can watch a spoof instead? ABC Family is airing Spaceballs tonight at 8 PM.

Tuesday

There's an all day Monster Quest marathon on the History Channel starting at 8 AM. Nova will bring us another inside look at "Cars Of The Future" at 12:30 AM on PBS.

An all new Eureka is coming your way on Tuesday night. The second episode of the new season is adorably called "What About Bob." Follow the sheriff as he hunts down Global Dynamics' own Creature from the Black Lagoon. Eureka airs 9 PM on the Sci Fi Channel.

Wednesday

Eliza Dushku will be on Jimmy Kimmel Live on ABC at 12 AM, and hopefully she'll spill some Dollhouse dirt.

The History Channel will delve into the infamous 70s UFO sightings for you, in UFO Files: UFOs of the 70s at 11 PM. Turns out the 1970s were the most active period of UFO sightings ever. (Who knew?)

Movies:

Wrong Turn is on Fox FX at 10 AM, in case you haven't gotten enough Eliza Dushku on Jimmy Kimmel. Watch her get lost in the woods and discover a sinister secret: the people in the mountains have mutated into crazy cannibals, and Eliza's on the menu.

Friday

From 8 AM to 4 PM, the Sci Fi Channel is running a marathon of Doctor Who in case you need to catch up on the tail end of season two.

Movies:

Follow Tom Cruise as he tries to save his ungrateful kids from attacking aliens in War Of The Worlds 8:30 on ABC 10:30 AM. Hang out with Big Red in the first Hellboy at 8 PM on Fox. Escape from a boring Friday night with Snake Plissken, in Escape From New York at 11:30 on AMC. Batman Begins is on at 8 PM (and many other times throughout the night) on Sci Fi.

Saturday

Find out why almost all the aliens we hear about are little gray men with big heads, in the UFO Files: New UFO Revelations: the Grays' Agenda, at 10 AM on the History Channel.

The space and time continuum opens up for another monster series Primeval. Follow the zoologist Professor Nick Cutter as he searches for his missing wife and tries to wrangle the occasional monster that steps out of the show's space and time rift. The creepy creature show is in its third season on the BBC, and the first season premieres on BBC America at 9 PM.

Movies:

Out Of Time airs at 4:30 PM on TNT. And there are back-to-back Flubber movies on TCM. Follow the original Absent Minded Professor as he discovers flubber, at 9 AM. Then follow up with The Son of Flubber at 10:45 AM.

Sunday

If you're up early (or late) feast your eyes on Ghost In the Shell at 4 AM on Adult Swim. Plus, the Venture Brothers will have a new episode for fans on Sunday at 11 PM at Adult Swim.

To some extent, it's understandable that space adventures play fast and loose with physics. After all, who wants to watch Han Solo spend years on the journey to Alderaan, only to find that the planet has twice Earth gravity and he can barely stand up, much less swagger?

The categories of mistakes in our report card should be pretty self-explanatory, but just in case, I'll expand on them a little bit:

• There's no sound in space
• Not all planets have Earth gravity
• Planets should have diverse climates, instead of one unified climate across a "desert planet" or "forest planet."
• It shouldn't be too easy to communicate with alien creatures, without some kind of high-technology "translator" explanation.
• And it definitely shouldn't be too easy for humans to interbreed with aliens.
• Humans exposed to vacuum without a spacesuit shouldn't explode or shatter. And a "hull breach" where the ship's crew is exposed to vacuum should kill everyone instantly.
• You can't have fires in space, unless there's oxygen leaking out somehow.
• Asteroids or other objects shouldn't be able to float close together without falling into each other's gravity
• People shouldn't be able to dodge lasers and other speed-of-light weapons
• And there's no reason why someone would move in slow-motion in zero gravity.
• Faster-than-light travel is probably not ever going to be possible.