B-movie director Richard Clabaugh co-wrote and directed the film, in which the War on Terror takes a bizarre and unexpected turn. To improve its domestic intelligence, the US government rolls out a line of roving surveillance bots called “Eyeborgs,” which are designed to monitor everyday American life. Initially, the wandering cams are viewed as an acceptable annoyance, but questions arise when it appears the Eyeborgs are capable of fabricating videos and sometimes take a more “hands on” approach with their subjects. Adrian Paul plays a Homeland Security agent who finds himself unraveling the Eyeborg mystery. And, judging from the trailers, Danny Trejo’s role in the film is to beat the Eyeborgs while shouting robot-themed insults at them.

[Eyeborgs via Twitch]

We've got everything here, people: An alien world with a prison, hot babes in cool armor, guns in enclosed spaces, a drooling alien, and a voice over that intones "FEAR THE FUTURE." How can you resist the pull of Alien Uprising? From his cinematic castle in Spain, Yuzna pumps tons of these flicks out to my endless delight. He directed the late-80s masterpiece Society, going on to do several Re-Animator flicks, a couple of Dentist movies (yes, Corbin Bernson the deadly dentist!), and now his production company fills the world with B-movies the way the tooth fairy fills your pockets with little bloody teeth.

Alien Uprising [via Halcyon International]

A team of researchers and the corporate mogul pull a Stargate and pop through the teleporter to investigate "Planet Oxygen" and figure out whether the planet can be used as a new Earth for pollution refugees. What they find are . . . giant bears, with super-intelligence, who see in pink-o-vision. And they are hungry for human flesh! If you like classic B-movies, Savage Planet is going to disarm you. I love that there is this insane, sciencey setup just to put a "people running from bears" plot into motion. [Savage Planet via IMDB]

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In Birth of a Legend: Story of the Wawa, irradiated worms used by Alabamans fishing in a polluted river turn into a giant monster that eats people. Here's a plot synopsis:

Sweet Tee, Alabama was a friendly town, Family Friendly. But Sweet Tee had a secret. You see, in the Tennessee River that flowed right through the middle of town, there lived some kind of a swamp monster. And it preferred the taste of human flesh over all others. A loser journalist, a burned-out hippie and a brainy scientist chick found themselves smack dab in the middle of this situation... and it was up to them to fix things.

This monster is one of the best-known mysteries of crypto zoology. Most scientists and other experts find current evidence supporting the creature's existence unpersuasive and regard the occasional sightings as hoaxes or misidentification of known creatures or natural phenomena. Minnesotans believe in this legend, even though their theories may vary. The creature thought to be a plesiosaur being the most popular of these theories.

I look forward to a return to the 1970s monster movie era, when cheapo productions in the Midwest and the South churned out great flicks about monsters created by evil polluters, evil yuppies, evil corporations, evil racists, evil people in small towns, evil aliens, and evil government programs.

Check out the official sites for Bio-Slime, Serpent Lake, and Birth of a Legend: Story of the Wawa (Thanks, averyguerra!)

First, some basics.

A few signs of a bad movie

• Sunglasses in the poster. If human adults are wearing them, it's bad. If babies or animals are wearing them, it's worse. If adults are looking over the top of the sunglasses, it's horrendous. If a baby or animal is looking over the top, it's a sign of the apocalypse.
  
• If someone falls into a swimming pool.
  
• If there's a hot-air ballon. (Quoth Roger Ebert: "Good movies rarely contain a hot-air balloon.")
  
• If Hayden Christensen is involved.
  
• If it's too awful before the opening credits end.
  
• If it takes place in Venice Beach. Very few good movies were shot there.
  
• If the product placement's written in the script: for example, when the Transformers talk about Nokia phones.
  
• It has the following credits: "Directed by Richard Benjamin,"or "Jamie Kennedy is..." or "Based on the screenplay by Gore Vidal"

If your movie is beginning to look bad, there is only one thing you can do to stop the madness. You must loudly and insistently comment on it, sharing your feelings with your fellow oppressed audience members. Improvising is encouraged, but here are a few basic guidelines.

How to Make Fun of a Bad Movie

• A human or any other animal skull shown with its jaw open should always be singing opera.
  
• Bizarre camera angles should be mentioned and explained. For instance, a camera shot from the ground looking up may be the "Amy Winehouse cam."
  
• If a movie is playing on a teevee screen (it's often something like "Casablanca," or "It's a Wonderful Life" for xmas movies), remember to state the cardinal rule: "Never reference a good movie inside your bad one."
  
• Identify all actors who even remotely or insultingly look like the popular celebrities the film could never afford. Bonus points if it's a relative like Don Swayze or Joe Estevez.
  
• When a character spouts exposition, be sure to think them.
  
• The more recent a death, the funnier the joke. Heath Ledger jokes are currently hilarious. If someone makes a joke about, say, the Kennedy or Lincoln assassinations, chide them: "Too soon!" 9/11 jokes, however, will never go out of style.
  
• Always answer rhetorical questions. The characters wouldn't have asked if they didn't want you, the audience, to respond.
  
• When a scene is really insistently horrible, make a lucid comment about the color of the room or the billboard in the background.
  
• When the movie makes the entire audience squirm simultaneously in silence, it never hurts to announce, "This film hates me."
  
• Any shot of sand or a desert is worth at least one "The worm is the spice! The spice is the worm!" Except during Dune.
  
• Don't be afraid to make the obvious joke; most often it is the joke everyone wanted to make but were to drunk to form the words.
  
• Boobs instantly make any movie the "BEST MOVIE EVER!" Temporarily.
  
• The brother is always the Nth to die. The brother is always the Nth to do ANYTHING. ("Why is the brother always the third to get on the plane during pre-boarding? This movie is so racist!")
  
• When the picture lacks detail for whatever reason—and especially if it's intentional—holler at the tech to "Focus!"
  
• Inside jokes are encouraged. If you make a joke that only one other person gets, it's even better if that one other person isn't in the room.
  
• Also, explaining a joke at length makes it funner, especially if the audience didn't laugh in the first place.
  
• If preshow entertainment is required, your best bet is The ABC of Sex Education for Trainables. This is especially helpful for so called "erotic" movies like Cyberella.
  
• If a woman is running: "Boing Boing Boing Boing Boing Boing Boing Boing Boing Boing Boing Boing Boing Boing Boing." Why? Sheena!
  
• Tears are not tears. They are face pee.
  
• If you refer to someone as the lost Baldwin brother, name him Gummo Baldwin.
  
• Whenever Shatner speaks Esperanto, everyone has to take a drink.

* Mike Spiegelman, Phil Darnowsky, Geekboy, Mikl-Em, Maura Spilia, Jim Fourniadis, Alexia Staniotes and Rhiannon Charisse

SPECIAL NOTE: io9 does not advise that you try this in a theater full of people who have not consented to hear you yell things. If you choose to try this technique with a non-consenting audience, we do not take responsibility for you getting punched or having pop dumped on your head.