Here are five pieces of wisdom that we've gleaned from the last six months (and handful of days):

President Obama Is The Greatest Hero Of All
As his many comic book appearances have demonstrated, there's no end to our current president's ability to save the world from any genre of threat. Amazing Spider-Man has him fighting supervillains, Youngblood shows him carrying massive laserguns to shoot renegade soldiers taking over the White House, Drafted gives us an alien-invasion-battlin' Barack and Barack The Barbarian brings everything back down to sword and sorcery basics. He's like a modern-day Arnold Schwarzenegger - and enough to make us wonder just how the comic industry would've dealt with John McCain winning the election instead.

Threats To Humanity Are Getting Weaker
Last year, it was the Large Hadron Collider and the possibility that it would rip existence apart when someone flipped the switch, and this year, it was... Swine Flu. It can't just be me, can it? I mean, Swine Flu... Doesn't that seem like a step down from the technological "Our Quest For Knowledge May Destroy Us All" conceptual genius that threatened us last year? Even calling it "the H1N1 Influenza Virus" still sounds kind of shit. Okay, so there's no chance of "hardon" spoonerisms, but still: Pandemics? Haven't we done that already? I'm holding out hope that sewer monsters will brighten the remaining months of the year, however.

The BBC Should Stop Making Us Feel Old
Yes, we know that it's just one of those aimless homilies that you know that you're getting old when the policemen and doctors start looking younger, but selecting a twelve year old to be the new Doctor Who really doesn't make us feel very good about ourselves nonetheless. I know that we started with the oldest of the Doctors and have progressively gotten younger since then - well, roughly - but between David Tennant and Matt Smith, I'm convinced that we'll have our first pre-teen Timelord by 2015. And then, the next one will be a little baby, just like in 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Joss Whedon Can Defy The Laws Of Nature
If nothing else, the renewal of Dollhouse proves that he can defy the laws of television. I wouldn't put money on him being unable to fly if he really wanted to.

Fuck Dystopia
Terminator Salvation and Watchmen - two downbeat movies offering popcorn versions of pessimistic views of humanity ("Ultimately, man's greed and laziness will lead us to become disconnected from our fellow man and controlled by the machines and mechanisms that we created to ease our daily existences - but doesn't this slow-motion action sequence look hot?") - both failed to meet expectation at the box office, while Star Trek's hopeful, colorful version of a future that may be too lens-flarey to be cuddly but is nonetheless positive surpassed expectations. Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles also died a slow death on television. The obvious conclusion? No-one wants to their entertainment to end with the lesson "We're all screwed." The Dark Knight's glossy hopelessness was so last year, people. We hadn't experienced so much of the economic downturn and/or the hopetrain of Obama back then. We were all so much more innocent and desperate to be mistreated by our movies. (Along the same lines - Size Matters: Terminator, featuring human-sized robots, fails to become a hit. Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen, featuring giant robots, breaks box office records. I think you can see what I'm saying here. See also: Robot On Robot Action Is More Acceptable Than Robot On Batman Action and Megan Fox Is Hotter Than Moon Bloodgood. Sorry, But There It Is.)

Bolstered with this new knowledge, we look forward to what the rest of the year can teach us - presuming, of course, that the sewer monsters don't decide to team up with Joss Whedon and end the world before then. Pray for us.

Admittedly, fans of beefcake may find the amusingly titled Milo Ventimiglia Presents Berserker #1 - All Beef Edition more to their liking. (I promise, I am not making that title up.) But I'm sure there's an audience out there for Barack The Barbarian, the swords and sorcery satire launched by Devil's Due this week.

If equally ridiculous comics are your forte, then DC's Superman: Tales From The Phantom Zone reprints some stories about Superman's least favorite interdimensional prison, while William Shatner Presents Tek War promises to be ridiculous in a whole other, ego-trippical, way.

Marvel Comics's weekly haul may look very grim at first view, with so many books tying into the ongoing Dark Reign storyline. The books The Sinister Spider-Man, about Venom, Zodiac, about a new - and suitably deadly - character up to no good, and Dark Avengers/X-Men: Utopia, bringing Norman Osborn's bad guys to San Francisco to screw around with mutantkind.

But fans of ultraviolence and snark will treasure the complete collection of The Ultimates by Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch, while everyone else can treasure two recent classics: Kathryn Immonen and David LaFuente's Patsy Walker: Hellcat and a hardcover collection of The Immortal Iron Fist by Matt Fraction, Ed Brubaker and David Aja, both of which are as highly recommended as I can manage.

Over at DC, it's all about the ladies for their two new releases. Paul Dini brings together Catwoman, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy for the new series Gotham City Sirens. And Greg Rucka and JH Williams III launch Detective Comics into a new era of greatness, with the beautiful new Batwoman strip (and Rucka and Cully Hamner provide a Question back-up, for extra value).

Dark Horse, meanwhile, have the first issue of their great new Predator series coming out. And IDW have three GI Joe books for you to use as preparation for next month's movie: the Movie Adaptation, a Movie Prequel and the first volume of a new regular series. Who knew that military maneuvers had so much homework?

If you're still looking for more four color fantasies, you could do worse than take a peek at this week's Diamond Distributors Shipping List, which - as ever - is completely printable for a trip to your local comic store. Just make sure that your credit card is ready to take a pounding.

Apparently, it's never too late to jump on a bandwagon, as publisher Devil's Due is eager to point out by declaring June "Obama Month," and featuring the president in two new comics.

The more straightforward of the two is Drafted: One Hundred Days, which places Obama into its regular alien-invasion setting and watches as he fights the extra-terrestrial bastards to the best of his ability. The second comic, however, is just plain odd:

BARACK THE BARBARIAN: QUEST FOR THE TREASURE OF STIMULI: Devil's Due and Larry Hama (G.I. Joe, Wolverine) take political satire to a whole new level. Hama, a surprise hire to some, but not to those who truly know his tastes, will take a look at the current state of politics both past and present and isn't afraid to point fun at Washinton's sacred cows. In the distant future the story of Barack Obama has become a little... distorted. According to THE MADDOWIAN CHRONICLES he was the one destined to save the great republic of America and dethrone the overpaid despots of the time. Join Barack, Sorceress Hilaria, her demi-god trickster husband Biil, Overlord Boosh and Chainknee of the Elephant Kingdom. Who can the lone barbarian trust, if anyone?

What that press release doesn't mention is Barack the Barbarian's nemesis, "Red Sarah." Yes, really, they're making Sarah Palin into Red Sonja. This is supposed to be an ongoing monthly series, people. Be very afraid.