San Francisco, 10:09 AM
Tue Dec 8
28 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip your editors:
Editor-in-Chief:
Annalee Newitz |
News Editor:
Charlie Jane Anders |
Associate Editor:
Meredith Woerner |
Assistant Editor:
Lauren Davis |
Weekend Editor:
Graeme McMillan |
Contributors:
Joshua Glenn
Stephen Goldmeier |
Ed Grabianowski |
Austin Grossman
Paul Hogan |
Lauren Davis |
Chris Hsiang |
Lynn Peril |
Ann VanderMeer
Alasdair Wilkins |
Graphic Designer:
Stephanie Fox |
Interns:
Tim Barribeau |
Julia Carusillo |
Alex Eichler |
Cyriaque Lamar |
Caitlin Petrakovitz |
Mary Ratliff |
Josh Snyder |
Well, if the editors just want to make all their classic heroes suck (and it often seems they do), why no bring back everybody's dead parents? Thomas and Martha Lane, Jor-El and Lara, the Flying Graysons, the Todds, the Drakes, the Queens, the Parkers, Maria Castle and the kids -- you get the idea.
It would be funny to watch the whole spandex squad lose its raison d'etre at once, wouldn't it?
Of course, they could also bring back Bruce Banner's abusive dad, Brian. That might actually up the Hulk's rage quotient, at least until he tore the old man in half and threw him into the -- oh, wait, that's Sentry.
@Michael Church: If I were a super villain that is exactly what I would do. Go back in time and make Batman's life extremely boring. Maybe inspire his latent interest in accounting.
Bruce Wayne goes from playboy to actuary.
Though then I have to worry about him turning into Actuary Man. Using tables to predict when I am going to commit my dastardly schemes. Finding the weakness to my robotic gorilla suit before I even build it.
@coren: Did we? I'd heard rumors Aquaman is set to be one of the Black Lanterns in Blackest Night, which would suggest he's still dead. Like I said in the post, Final Crisis is still mostly incomprehensible to me. Although I did finally piece together what was going on in RIP...
A good scene from io9: The Motion Picture would be if just after you finished posting this, Alasdair, you turned around and there was a guy behind you, and he was like, "I think you forgot one very important death." And you were like, "Oh yeah? Whose?" And he was like, "YOURS."
@Discodave: Look, just let me know who will be killing me and who will be directing it. I'd like to be able to plan out the rest of my day, you know...
Calling Barry Allen "the most iconic" Flash is questionable. Not only was Wally the Flash of record for more than 20 years himself (sorry, Jay), but his title was acclaimed during the runs by Mark Waid and Geoff Johns. It could be argued that Barry's best moment in the DCU *was* his death.
@Arturo R. Garcia: I probably should have said "arguably" instead of "generally" there. I was going to say "with apologies to Wally West fans, which I myself am one", but that sentence was already tortured enough.
@Moff: Oh sure, call me insane, but are you going to tell me Geoff Johns couldn't bring the Morpheus asskicking that we've always secretly wanted to see?
@jedidotflow: And then just as Cain is about to kill Abel for the twentieth time there's a voice behind him that goes, "Hey Cain!" and you turn the page and it's Wesley Dodds and he shoots Cain and it's AWESOME.
I'm pretty sure Geoff Johns pulled that trick at least a dozen times in Green Lantern: Rebirth. As you can see, it still reduces me to a gibbering fanboy.
@asyouwere: I definitely considered throwing Gwen Stacy into the mix, but I ultimately decided she was more along the lines of Uncle Ben, Thomas and Martha Wayne, and Jor-El and Lara. I mostly wanted to focus on dead superheroes, although I obviously contradicted myself by including Betty Ross.
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It would be funny to watch the whole spandex squad lose its raison d'etre at once, wouldn't it?
Of course, they could also bring back Bruce Banner's abusive dad, Brian. That might actually up the Hulk's rage quotient, at least until he tore the old man in half and threw him into the -- oh, wait, that's Sentry.
03/28/09
Bruce Wayne goes from playboy to actuary.
Though then I have to worry about him turning into Actuary Man. Using tables to predict when I am going to commit my dastardly schemes. Finding the weakness to my robotic gorilla suit before I even build it.
Damn you Actuary Man.
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Why yes, I do enjoy dead horse-beating.
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An Alan Smithee film.
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I'm pretty sure Geoff Johns pulled that trick at least a dozen times in Green Lantern: Rebirth. As you can see, it still reduces me to a gibbering fanboy.
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Seconded.
03/28/09