Comics have a grand problem of continuity. Long-lived characters have been starring in multiple monthly titles for years, amounting to thousands of issues, not counting guest stars, crossovers, and tie-ins. And every single one of those issues counts. With retroactive continuity, maybe our heroes fought a clone; or it was a dream; or the whole thing took place in a parallel reality; or someone didn't die, and instead someone took their unconscious body and healed them. Sometimes it's handled well, with good characterisation and a soft touch. But mostly, it isn't. Here are some of the worst, most ham-fisted and generally clumsy ways of dealing with problems in the history of your character.

One More Day/Brand New Day

During the events of Marvel's Civil War crossover, Spider-man revealed his secret identity to the public, making him and his family a massive target for all the would-be assassins, crime-lords and supervillains around. At the same time, Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Queseda had been publicly expressing his distaste for Spider-Man's marraige to Mary Jane for years, on the grounds that it aged the character too much.

Quesada wanted to return Spidey to his roots, bring back down-on-his-luck Peter Parker, still living with his Aunt May, still struggling to pay for webfluid and get by day-to-day. And of course, he did it in the clumsiest way possible. He took over writing this series when outgoing writer, J. Michael Straczynski didn't want to pen the revisions Quesada proposed. In "One More Day," Aunt May gets accidentally shot by a sniper, and lays in hospital, on the verge of death. And Spider-man makes a deal with the devil, literally. Mephisto, Marvel's Satan stand-in, saves Aunt May, but in exchange he would take the happy marriage of Peter and MJ, and make it as though it had never happened. So, Peter gave up his beautiful, loving wife in order to extend the life of his already elderly and frequently ill Aunt. In the process, the entire planet forgot his identity, and Peter and Mary Jane's daughter would never come to be. Well, to be fair, MJ made the final decision, but the whole concept made no sense, and avoided any explanations by just saying "it's magic!"

Xornneto

When Grant Morrison took over X-Men, he introduced some radical changes, including the concept of secondary mutations, and the idea that at their current rate, Mutants would soon out-populate normal humans. He also introduced into Xavier's school the character of Xorn, a Chinese mutant with a star for a head, who had spent years imprisoned, and became a teacher for some of the more troubled students at the institute. Xorn eventually revealed he was Magneto in disguise, and died in a giant battle, along with Jean Grey.

However, almost immediately afterwards, it was decided that Magneto was too high-profile to kill for real — so a retcon established that Xorn was NOT Magneto (who was alive and kicking in Genosha). Instead, Xorn was a real person under the influence of another mutant. Then, just for kicks, they introduced another Xorn, a twin to the first, so they could keep the character around. So rather than sticking with a dramatic and powerful moment, as originally written by Morrison, the new writers tossed out the crux of his final arc to preserve the status quo.

Superboy Prime Punches Reality

DC's continuity has always been plagued by issues of multiple realities, which were used as the original way to differentiate Golden Age versions of characters from the Silver Age. During DCs Crisis on Infinite Earth, through the cataclysmic arrival of the Anti-Monitor, all of these timelines were merged into one, dealing away with all the confusion once and for all. Several characters from these dead universes were tucked away in a pocket universe, including Superboy Prime, who came for a reality where he was the only superpowered character. He and Kal-L, the Golden Age Superman, eventually become so angry at the dark and gritty nature of the current DC universe, that Superboy Prime punches a hole through reality. Yup, he punches reality so hard, that it shatters, creating the multiverse, and retconning various story problems, including bringing the 1980s Robin, Jason Todd, back to life. That is the power of the retcon punch.

As a side note, an absolutely excellent version of the Superboy Prime story was told a few years ago in Superman: Secret Identity by Kurt Busiek and Stuart Immonen, which is well worth tracking down.

Power Girl's Origin
Originally, Power Girl was the Earth-2 version of Supergirl, a cousin to Superman who arrived long after he did, but with the same sort of powers. However, after the aforementioned Crisis on Infinite Earths, there was no more Earth-2, nor had there ever been. However, Power Girl existed on the main Earth, so she needed a new origin. So instead of making her another Kryptonian survivor (or something similar),she was revealed to be a descendant of the Atlantean sorcerer Arion, who lay in suspended animation for a thousand years before being revived in the current day. Did this make any sense? Nope. Did it gel at all with her old background? Not in the slightest. This stupidity was thankfully forgotten, and during Infinite Crisis, they just decided she was Supergirl from another dimension, and left it at that.

Gwen Stacy Slept With Norman Osborn

Gwen Stacy's death at the hands of the Green Goblin is considered one of the pivotal moments in Spider-man's history, and remains an incredibly poignant scene. However, during JMS's run on Spider-man, he gave her two children. Originally, his plan was that they be Peter's, and that she had them in secret. However, the editorial team decided that giving Spider-man two grown children would — wait for it — age Peter Parker too much.

Instead, they decided that Norman Osborn would be the father. That's right, Gwen Stacy hooked up with creepy old billionaire Osborn, got pregnant with twins, and kept them from Osborn — which is why he killed her. Then, he trained the twins to become assassins, to hunt down Spider-man.

Wolverine

Wolverine's entire history is just one crappy retcon piled on top of another. How's this for a start? Wolverine was originally meant to be an actual wolverine, who had been turned into a human by the high evolutionary, and his claws were part of his gloves. Then the claws became implants created by Weapon X, and he was a mutant. Then he was meant to be Sabertooth's son. Then it turns out he'd had bone claws all along, and they were just covered up with metal. Recently, however, things have started getting even weirder for Logan.

It turns out Wolverine now isn't a mutant, but rather a Lupine, a human looking species that evolved in parallel to humans — but from wolves, not apes. And there are two tribes: one with blond hair, the other with dark hair, and they hate each other — which is why Sabertooth hates Wolverine so much. They're not the only two, either — other Lupine's include Wolfsbane, Feral, Wild Child and Thornn. So pretty much ever feral mutant isn't actually a mutant, but a wolf person. They're all being manipulated by an almost immortal elder Lupine called Romulus.

Wolverine's healing factor has also suffered from major power creep over the years, expanding from "he can heal faster than most", to "was left as a skeleton after a major explosion, and healed completely within seconds." So to de-power him slightly, a retcon established that every time he dies, Wolverine has to fight the spirit of death to return to the living. Since WWI, he has been in constant combat with a being known as Lazaer (the worst anagram since Alucard), and his soul cannot return to his body unless he defeats Lazaer in limbo, each time. After some jiggerypokery with the resurrected version Shingen, Lazaer and Wolverine ended their constant battle — so if Wolverine dies again, it's for real.

Jean Grey and the Phoenix Force

This one is the great Grandaddy of weird retcons. Phoenix/Jean Grey took her own life after losing control of the awesome magnitude of the Phoenix Force, and accidentally devouring an inhabited planet. Cyclops was unsurprisingly bummed, hooked up with a clone of Jean, had a baby, which was then sent to the future to become Cable. However, a few years later, the writers wanted to bring Jean Grey back. So they decided that she was never Phoenix, instead the Phoenix Force created a simulacrum of her, and the real one was kept in stasis, deep beneath the ocean. Problem solved.

The Third Summers Brother?

Two of the X-Men, Cyclops and Havok, are brothers. At one point, the villainous Mr. Sinister dropped hints that there was in fact a third Summers brother, which would throw another powerful energy user into the X-Men universe. The originally planned extra brother was to be Adam X the X-Treme, also known as "the 90s personified". He had the power to combust blood, but only if someone was already cut, so he covered himself with blades (and wore a totally rad backwards cap). He was meant to be half human, half an alien Shi'ar, a product of the rape of his mother by the Shi'ar Emperor.

This origin story was used, instead, for the actual third Summers brother, Vulcan. He was retroactively introduced in 2006, when it was revealed that Charles Xavier sent him and a team to go rescue his missing X-Men decades ago. Unfortunately, the whole team was lost, and Xavier mind-wiped everyone to forget about it. The end product? Xavier was a dick, and Vulcan flew into space to become the Emperor of the Shi'ar.

Nightcrawler Is A Demon

Chuck Austen's run on X-Men is regarded by many readers as the low point for Marvel's mutant titles. In addition to adding a Mary Sue version of his wife, as well as making Havoc his own avatar; and having Angel have sex with the then underage Husk in front of her family, he also tweaked a couple of characters in a rather odd way. The most notable of these was to explain Nightcrawler's demonly looks as a result of him actually being part-demon. Turns out that Nightcrawler's mother, Mystique, hooked up with the demon Azazel, who sired a number of teleporting mutant babies, in the hopes of them breaking him out of Hell. So, Kurt Wagner, the almost priest and one of the most religious of the X-Men, was actually half demon

Rape Makes You Deep

Black Cat, Catwoman, Sue Dibny. What links these characters? They had rape retconned into their background as a way of making them edgier. It's lazy writing, offensive, and a cheap ploy to pad out the background of the characters. Sue Dibny's was particularly bad, because it was used as part of the Identity Crisis crossover, which helped turn DC into a far more dark 'n' gritty place, with almost no place for frivolity or fun.

Hal Jordan and The Space Bug

When Hal Jordan turned into the maniacal Parallax, it was originally a story of a superhero who cracked under the weight of his responsibilities. The entire population of his hometown, Coast City, was killed by the villainous Mongol, and Hal Jordan was driven mad with grief. Convinced that with more power he could bring them back to life, Jordan slaughters his way through the Green Lantern Corps and the Guardians of the Universe, and absorbs a huge amount of power, becoming the villain Parallax.

Hal eventually redeems himself, re-igniting the Sun and thus sacrificing his life, during a storyline called Final Night. The retcon was that Hal Jordan didn't break under the grief of the deaths of 7 million people that he'd sworn to protect, but rather he was under the influence of a yellow space bug called Parallax, which was the personification of fear. Thus, Hal Jordan came back as an unblemished character, who never did anything wrong.

Cassandra Cain Goes Evil, Gains Mastery of English Language

Cassandra Cain was the modern Batgirl. Trained as an assassin from a young age, she rebelled against her past to join the Bat family. She kicked ass and took names, but couldn't speak, read or write. Eventually, she managed to learn basic English, and became a core figure in the Bat books, and a tireless crime fighter. Then, during the One Year Later timeshift, she suddenly had a perfect grasp of English, and was the leader of the League of Assassins, the same organization that had brutally trained and abused her since her childhood, and from which she had escaped. This was eventually explained through mind control drugs, but was still completely out of character.

Hawkman, Reincarnated Egyptian or Space Cop?

Originally, Hawkman was an archaeologist who turned out to be the reincarnation of an Egyptian prince. He flew around with wings made of the mysterious Nth metal, and hit things with a mace. Accompanying him was his reincarnated girlfriend, Hawkgirl. Then, in the Silver Age, DC made Hawkman and Hawkgirl space cops from the planet Thanagar.

Following this, there were multiple interpretations of the characters, sometimes simultaneously — the Hawks were reincarnated Egyptian lovers, alien police officers, or some combination of both. New background and retcon piled on top of one another, until no one knew what the actual background of everyone's favorite flying violence users. Just when you thought they couldn't get any more confusing, a 1990s comic explained that Hawkman was actually a Native American shaman who talked to spirit guide animals.

Presently, it's been established that all incarnations, regardless of origin, are the reincarnated souls of those Egyptian lovers, who were then exposed to Thanagarian technology. Their love is so powerful that it's become the source of all energy for all the Star Sapphires, superpowered women, in the current run of Green Lantern.

Teenage Tony Stark

At some point in the terrifying decade of comics known as the 90s, we learned that Iron Man (Tony Stark) had been under the control of Kang the Conqueror for years. Tony turned evil and killed someone. (Later, it was retconned that this wasn't actually Kang the Conqueror, but another villain, Immortus, in disguise.)

So, naturally, the Avengers went into an alternate timeline, and brought a teenaged Tony Stark forward in time to the present to fight the older Tony. Don't ask. So for a while, Tony was a teenager, until teenage Tony was killed fighting Onslaught, and adult Tony was brought back to life in another parallel universe, during the Heroes Reborn event. Eventually, this was folded in to normal Marvel continuity, and everyone forgot it ever happened. Bad writing, covered with bad retcons, and best forgotten.

Spider-man, Avatar of The Spider God

Spider-man was originally a science hero. Bitten by a radioactive spider, Peter Parker gained the proportional strength of an arachnid, the ability to cling to walls, and the uncanny ability to sense danger. Fashioning mechanical web-shooters, he fought crime as the Spectacular/Amazing/Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man.

After the massive success of the first Spider-man film, though, he was given biological web shooters, to make him more in line with the movie version. Under the stewardship of writer J. Michael Straczynski, it was revealed that the bite that brought Peter his powers wasn't a coincidence, but rather Peter was linked to a totemic Spider God who influenced him. Shortly after, Peter was mortally wounded, built a cocoon, and came out with additional powers, including wrist stingers, a poisonous bite, the ability to talk to arthropods, and night vision. Another side effect of Brand New Day was everyone, including Spider-man, forgetting about his new powers.

From DC, there are two not-really-io9-but-still-worth-looking-into books in the new "Vertigo Crime" imprint: Brian Azzarello's Filthy Rich and novelist Ian Rankin's John Constantine story Dark Entries, although the latter isn't really a crime book per se.

But leaving those aside, DC's big releases of the week include Blackest Night: Superman, in which the Man of Steel has to come to terms with his daddy issues because, hey, his dad has risen from the dead (but which dad? That's why you have to buy it, people). And the first issue of the new Batgirl series, which will hopefully answer the question of who's taken on that name these days once and for all.

A week of new starts, then, but Marvel are taking the opposite tack with some great collections of old material. Okay, Astonishing X-Men: Ghost Boxes isn't really old - it's the start of Warren Ellis' run on the series. But for classic stuff, you can't really go wrong with Kurt Busiek's time-bending Avengers Forever. Or the Spider-Man/Mary Jane: You Just Hit The Jackpot collection, which brings together lots of stories of the comics couple that only Joe Quesada and a Satan analogue could tear apart. Less well-known but not less interesting, Black Widow: Sting Of The Widow offers a hardcover introduction to Scarlett Johannson's femme fatale before next year's Iron Man 2 hits theaters, collecting some of the character's earliest appearances.

Elsewhere, the idea of the Bad Girl gets two different hardcover takes. Image's exploitathon Bomb Queen gets her very own Omnibust (Get it? Because she has tits! Ah, subtlety...) And Boom!'s enjoyable Buffy with an attitude series Hexed gets a deluxe collection that's well worth picking up.

If you're looking for some movie action, IDW releases the first issue of its Astro Boy Movie Adaptation, while Dynamite brings Bruce and Barack together in the opener to Army of Darkness: Ash Saves Obama (Yes, really). Dynamite also has the first issue of Project Superpowers: Meet The Bad Guys, wherein Alex Ross' revamped Golden Age heroes meet their matches for the first time.

Most interesting book of the week has to be Days Missing, a new mini-series created by the production company owned by Gene Rodenberry's son, Rod. Pushing itself as being created "in the Roddenberry tradition of thoughtful, philosophical, and topical science fiction," the first issue boasts a good creative pedigree, with Phil Hester and Frazer Irving providing writing and art (Each issue will feature a different creative team), and a story about a mysterious figure who shows people their true potential... for a price. We'll have a review tomorrow, but it's definitely worth looking out for in the stores.

As always, you can find a list of all the books being released this week here, and then look for your local comic book store here. Just beware of mysterious figures offering to expose new sides to you that were unaware of; it never ends well.

With so much of the new Batman status quo established in June's Batman Reborn event, and Dick Grayson and Damien Wayne now firmly established as the new dynamic duo, DC's Batman panel was relatively short on shocking revelations. The last great Bat-related mystery of the moment (well, other than the whole "how is Bruce Wayne coming back?" thing), the identity of the new Batgirl, remained unsolved, with incoming Batgirl writer Brian Q. Miller limited to only the tiniest of tidbits. There was only one concrete statement about her identity: Batgirl will not be Bette Kane, the Silver Age Batgirl who has since become Flamebird.

No matter who the new Batgirl will be - whether it's the incumbent Cassandra Cain, the iconic Barbara Gordon, or the Spoiler-ish Stephanie Brown - the book will feature lots of characters that haven't appeared recently, whom readers will be happy to see return. There are also big plans for Batgirl's costume, which will initially be the Barbara Gordon version but then change into a newer, sexier costume in the third issue. Finally, according to a prepared statement: "There are waffles in the first issue."

Elsewhere in the Batman books, Greg Rucka offered up a number of details on the future of Detective Comics. He promised that J.H. Williams's art will only get better with each passing issue, and he genuinely believes that Williams is redefining the language of drawing comics. Perhaps most interesting, there will be a massive change in art style in #858, and the comic will actually look as though a different artist drew it. The Question is set to take on an even bigger role in the book, as her second feature will expand to twenty pages and be the lead story during a break in the middle of Rucka and Williams's run.

Paul Dini, currently writing both Batman: Streets of Gotham and Gotham City Sirens, promised that the villainous Hush, now impersonating the otherwise dead Bruce Wayne, will continue his "one man stimulus plan", giving away Bruce's entire fortune and wreaking financial havoc on the Batman family. Hush is also out for revenge on the Gotham City Sirens characters, making him a key player in both books. Dini will also feature another villain, as he will be featuring the serial killer Mr. Zsasz (who makes the Joker look almost reasonable by comparison) in Streets of Gotham. Mr. Zsasz - newly redesigned to look even more horrific - is out to realize his truly disgusting vision of Gotham City.

We didn't hear as much about Grant Morrison's Batman & Robin book, although artist Philip Tan, who will take over art duties from Frank Quitely starting with issue four, did reveal that he's got a "crazy, crazy script" to work from. He hopes that his three issues will provide something a little different from the rest of Morrison's run on the book, although it will still be consistent with the overall gonzo tone of Batman & Robin. Batman group editor Mike Marts also confirmed that Morrison is still working on his masterplan for the character, and he mentioned that we haven't seen the last of the future Damien Wayne from Batman #666.

Batgirl isn't the only new book that will be joining the already crowded Batman franchise. Sterling Gates has written the four-part World's Finest miniseries, which will start in October. The story will explore the relationship between Dick Grayson and Clark Kent (or, as he is now, Commander El of New Krypton) in light of all the massive changes Batman and Superman have seen over the past year. Fabian Nicieza is writing the Batman and Detective Annuals, both of which will feature the new Azrael and help launch the character in his upcoming monthly series.

Finally, senior executive editor Ian Sattler let slip one intriguing (if cryptic) detail that may or may not amount to anything. When asked about DC's plans to bring in the Batman Beyond characters into the comics continuity, something that has been rumored for years, he replied, "You might see more Batman Beyond than you expect." I'm calling it - Terry McGinnis is going to join the Legion of Superheroes. Somehow.

Let's get that Batbook out the way first; Grant Morrison attempts to make up for the sturm-und-drang of Batman RIP with the first issue of Batman And Robin, his new series starring the new Batman (Dick Grayson, formerly the original Robin) that he's likened to both Crank and the old Adam West show mixed with David Lynch. His All Star Superman partner Frank Quitely is drawing this one, so expect beautifully-designed pages of madness, and a superhero comic that, if nothing else, is unlikely to be dull.

Leaving the superheroes behind for now - Well, apart from pointing out that Marvel's putting out a collection of the retro-with-a-twist Age Of The Sentry quasi-parody series, and DC have both Batgirl: Redemption and Green Lantern Corps: Sins of The Star Sapphire to fulfill your superpowered needs - it's time for vampires to take the stage with a couple of books from Oregon-based Dark Horse. There's Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Tales Of The Vampires lets the wonderful Becky Cloonan and Vasilis Lolos tell a story about a young impressionable kid hanging out with a bad crowd (Hint: They drink blood) in the Buffy-verse (You can find a preview here). And then Werewolves On The Moon Versus Vampires pretty much tells you all you need to know with its title alone.

Even that, however, is not the high-concept must-have of the week. No, that honor belongs to Chew, the new series by John Layman and Rob Guillory that offers up a detective who gets psychic impressions from what he eats, living in a future where bird flu has led to the banning of poultry. Oh, and he works in homicide... which means he eats dead people. Given Layman's enjoyably dark sense of humor, his citing of Y The Last Man and Monk as influences and his enjoyably dark sense of humor, I can't see a way that Chew could disappoint.

In case you're looking for some more aperitifs for your reading palate, this week's list of new comics will, I'm sure, offer something for every palate. To keep the metaphor going, consider the Comic Shop Locator your menu for a particularly store-like cuisine. Just remember to tip your waiter before you leave. It's always safer that way.

Some of these action pics appear to take place in some kind of funhouse, surrounded by carnival finery. Could this be some kind of Joker lair? Considering what happened the last time Barbara faced the Joker, is it really a good idea to remind people? (In the comics, Alan Moore decided to prove how hardcore he was by having the Joker shoot Barbara in the spine and then take dirty pictures of the newly paralyzed girl.) Also, is that Man-Bat, aka chiropteromorph scientist Kirk Langstrom, in the backdrop of one shot? We totally need Lego Man-Bat!

Tony Stark
Experience: Brilliant engineer, CEO of Stark Industries, leader of the Avengers, former United States Secretary of Defense, current director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Probably Political Allegiance: Going by his Civil War decisions, Republican. The whole "Guantanamo for super-villains in the Negative Zone" thing? A bit of a give-away.
Pros: Good looking and charismatic, Stark turned his inherited family company into an industry leader with his own inventions and business know-how. He is strong on national security and defense and has mostly been very popular as Iron Man, one of the country’s most public superheroes. With a net worth estimated at over US$3 billion, his fortune could be used to help fund the campaign. As a particular plus for McCain, Stark was also a prisoner of war.
Cons: Though undeniably successful, Stark has a laundry list of character flaws. He is a recovering alcoholic. His reputation as an incorrigible playboy and womanizer might not play well with the Republican base. His somewhat self-appointed leadership of the superhero community has often come under harsh criticism, especially his role in the controversial “superhero civil war," and failure to prevent a "secret" invasion from terrorist forces from another planet. Also, his presence on the ticket may lead some journalists to ask why McCain didn't construct his own indestructible suit of armor to escape from his captors in Vietnam.

Lex Luthor
Experience: Genius scientist and inventor, CEO of LexCorp, former President of the United States.
Probable Political Allegiance: Tough on crimefighters and pro-death penalty (for Superman), he's probably a Republican.
Pros: Much like Ronald Reagan’s famous flirtation with making former President Gerald Ford his VP in 1980, Luthor might be considered in attempts to craft a high profile “dream ticket” by McCain's advisors. With his world renowned genius, Lex could single handedly organize the entire campaign while solving the energy crisis and defeating the world’s grandmasters in highly publicized chess tournaments... as long as Superman wasn't around to distract him. His hardline stance on “illegal aliens” would play well with those concerned with immigration reform.
Cons: His presidency ended in scandal after it was revealed that he had bought arms from well-known extraterrestrial terrorists, and he still nurses a murderous obsession with killing Superman. His long history of scheming and plotting bring a lot of baggage, and he has respected enemies in the press. Widely thought of as a dangerous, egotistical maniac. But then, that never stopped Nixon.

Mitchell Hundred
Experience: Civil engineer maintaining the Brooklyn Bridge, Mayor of New York City.
Probable Political Allegiance: Officially independent, so woo-able by both sides.
Pros: Though he gave up his less-than-spectacular career as a masked crime fighter to run for Mayor of New York, Hundred is still considered a hero by many for using his superpowers to stop the second plane from hitting the World Trade Center on 9/11. As mayor, with his engineer’s mind and keen political sensibilities, he has largely handled a variety of crises and scandals with confidence and success. Thirteenth generation American.
Cons: Paranoid conspiracy theories abound as to the nature and origin of his ability to control machines, and the rest of the country might be less accepting of this strangeness than seen-it-all New Yorkers. Hundred is also single, and despite going on a few public dates many suspect that he might be gay—-rumors that were given fuel when Hundred presided over the city’s first same-sex marriage. His inability to stop the first plane hit the World Trade Center is likely to be mentioned in attack ads: "You want a leader who can keep America safe... But Mitchell Hundred can only keep half of you safe."

Barbara Gordon
Experience: former member of the U.S. House of Representatives, information broker for superheroes, Ph.D. in library sciences.
Probable Political Allegiance: Her hardline pro-gun control stance marks her as a Democrat.
Pros: As daughter of legendary Gotham City police commissioner Jim Gordon, Barbara has some serious law-and-order credentials to her name. Her family’s long standing friendship with billionaire Bruce Wayne would likely bring in a seriously big ticket donor, and her friendship with almost every single superhero in the DC Universe would probably mean that Barack could respond to charges of being too big a celebrity by pointing to Gordon and saying, "But she knows Superman!"
Cons: Distracted by her crime-fighting career, Gordon didn’t make much of a name for herself as a congresswoman, and since quitting politics, a near-fatal gunshot wound has left her paralyzed from the waist down and confined to a wheelchair, which may alienate voters with unpleasant memories of FDR or those who think that having a black nominee was bad enough, but a wheelchair-bound woman is just going too far. She is also a known associate of the controversial vigilante known as “the Batman,” which isn’t likely to earn her many points outside of Gotham.

Katherine “Kitty” Pryde (Marvel Universe)
Experience: youngest ever member of the X-Men, Mayor of Chicago and President of the United States in an alternate future timeline.
Probable Political Allegiance: Democrat. Or, given that she's a mutant, probably Canadian.
Pros: Putting Pryde on the ballot would be sure to bring out both the Jewish and the mutant vote come election day—-key demographics in certain swing states, such as Ohio. She is also one of the most politically experienced candidates, if you count her long career in a parallel universe.
Cons: Pryde is chased by whispered rumors that she is bisexual, mostly from fanboys who couldn't get over their crush on the character from the 1980s. Additionally, an Obama/Pryde ticket would be impossible if Kitty ran as a resident of Illinois: when both the Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates are from the same state, the Constitution prohibits that state’s electors for voting for that ticket. More problematically, Pryde has a well-documented history of using hate-speak that would undoubtedly be used against her.

While we here at io9 would love nothing more than to see a McCain/Stark ticket take on an Obama/Pryde team, we think that each of these prospective Veeps creates more problems for their candidates than they would solve (Although the debates would be very watchable, if only to see how quickly they were disrupted by supervillains with grudges). Obviously, there's only one solution: Both parties should offer the position to former District Attorney Harvey Dent. Who should accept both invitations, and then run with the slogan "Flip-Flopping? What else would you expect from me?"

In response to rumors about DC instituting a new zero-tolerance policy for creators who break deadlines, DiDio dropped his usual huckster persona to talk about the problems that the company faces with late books. Admitting that the "reality is, a lot of people can't meet the monthly schedule," he said that DC's aim was to make sure that books shipped in a timely manner:

We had a month where we didn't put any Superman books out because they were all late... In our minds, that was inexcusable.

Asked to "cut back on killing and maiming young heroes" in their comics, VP of Sales responded that "Sidekicks die!" should be the ad copy for upcoming comics. DiDio admitted that it was a concern, and said that they'd try to cease with the teenage torture. On a related topic, the panel all agreed that they didn't want to pull back on teenage suffering of the emotional type, with writer Judd Winick pointing out that "they can't all be happy, who the hell's gonna buy that?"

The amount of potential deaths was also a topic for discussion when it came down to DC's big summer series, Final Crisis. When asked if there would be a limit to the amount of deaths happening in that series, DiDio said that he couldn't promise anything, and announced the official tagline for the series for the first time: "It's the day evil wins." We also found out that "The Great Disaster" that's been the plot McGuffin of Countdown to Final Crisis will happen within the pages of Countdown (and may include a giant turtle version of Jimmy Olsen fighting New God Darkseid), and that the Final Crisis is something altogether different that may spell doom for the multiverse: "It's called Final Crisis for a reason," DiDio said.

Before that happens, fans can expect to see Power Girl go home to Earth-2 in the pages of Justice Society of America in a way that may lead to a future solo series for Superman's parallel-universe cousin. One of the reasons that the multiverse may be about to end again is that even the creators can't keep the various earths straight; when someone asked about Earth-13, no-one on the panel knew exactly what Earth that was. "I have a big white board - " DiDio started to explain, before Countdown editor Mike Carlin cut him off by saying "This is why we have charts."

New titles teased, besides the Batgirl series, were a new Lex Luthor miniseries focusing on his evil genius and technology, as well as a return of the 1990s Milestone characters (better known to most from the WB's Static Shock cartoon); asked about a possible return of those characters, everyone on the panel got very nervous as DiDio chose his words very carefully: "I think the Milestone characters are great," he said, "I think it'd be very exciting to see that creative strength in the DC Universe." Bob Wayne broke in, adding "It's a subject that takes more lawyers than fans to make happen."

The panel closed with DiDio telling everyone that the upcoming The Dark Knight and The New Frontier movies were projects that everyone at DC were very excited about, and inviting everyone to tonight's world premiere of the latter at the convention.