io9: boobs

If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed

Kevin Kelly — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:33:56 PST

The Weinstein Company released the final movie poster for Superhero Movie today, and it features Pamela Anderson's boobs, Leslie Nielsen wearing a "With Great Power Comes Hot Bitches" sweater, and not one but two penis jokes (check out Storm's lightning and Dragonfly's popcorn). We're all for parodying superheroes and science fiction, but when it devolves into beer hat jokes and shots of people being embarrassed that their underwear is on display, we doth protest. It would be easy to discount this film if Meet The Spartans hadn't just made $18 million in its opening weekend. If this one grosses anywhere near that, we fear for the fate of our species.

Sexy Recruitment Posters For The Empire

Kevin Kelly — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 09:30:17 PST

Although most of the stormtroopers in the Star Wars movies turned out to be vat-grown clones of Boba Fett's daddy, perhaps some of them were citizens from around the Empire doing their duty. These concept art recruitment posters by Feng Zhu might have been plastered in cantinas and spaceports around the galaxy in an effort to beef up the Imperial presence. After all, you can't expect your average clone to do everything, can you? More sexy troopers after the jump.

If the Imperial Army had stormtroopers that looked like this, we can only assume that a) they'd have a ton of new recruits signing up, and b) they'd run out of funds building form-fitting stormtrooper armor for these overly endowed postergirls. It's not clear if those boobs are silicon-enhanced or Force-imbued, but they're clearly meant to get your midichlorians flowing.

We especially love their vapid expressions and usage of makeup. Who knew they had lipstick in the Empire? It's probably not standard issue with those outfits, but no doubt they have some sort of high-tech makeup applicator that works in zero gravity. All that's missing from this is a "Shhhh! Loose Lips Sink Death Stars!" poster warning about spreading secrets, and it would be a perfect set. We're going to see about ordering the "Next Planet!" version for the io9 lobby.

Zorine the Queen of the Nudists and Alpha the Mechanical Man

Kevin Kelly — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 09:30:45 PST

At the height of the Great Depression, the organizers of the 1930 San Diego Exposition thought that a horny robot and a vanguard of big-breasted nudist women might help cheer people up. "Zorine the Queen of the Nudists" and "Alpha the Mechanical Man" were two different exhibits appearing at the event, and history has left this priceless photo behind for us as a memento of their encounter. Where else could you find a robot with sixteen boobs?

Apparently "nudist" meant topless back in the 1930s, because those ladies definitely have something on down below, although Alpha appears to be fairly unclad. It just isn't clear what he's doing with his hands. Is he hiding some sort of a robo-boner? He sure looks happy to be there, at any rate, as do the buxom beauties surrounding him. Although they'd quickly change their tune when he decided to kidnap one of them for some robotic sexytime.

[Ectoplasmosis]