<![CDATA[io9: captain kirk]]> http://tags.lifehacker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/io9.com.png <![CDATA[io9: captain kirk]]> http://io9.com/tag/captainkirk http://io9.com/tag/captainkirk <![CDATA[Television's Biggest Badass Of All Time, Day Four: River Vs. Kirk]]> The battle of the Summer Glaus was long and fierce — but we're calling it. River Tam vanquished her robotic twin, Cameron. But how will River do against the man who doesn't believe in the no-win situation: James T. Kirk?

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<![CDATA[Back from the Dead: Eleven Scifi Resurrections]]> The number of times you can say "I thought you were dead!" in science fiction is probably only rivaled by characters in soap operas. In honor of Easter, here are eleven of the best resurrections.

1. Daniel Jackson (Stargate SG-1)
While pretty much the entire team has died and come back, Daniel wins the prize for doing it the most. He gets shot, he gets radiation poisoning, he gets killed, he gets killed again. And then again. And then again. You know, it's hardly any wonder he's gotten compared to Kenny from South Park.

2. Ellen Ripley (the Alien movies)
As far as resurrections go, Ellen doesn't totally adhere to the strictest definition. But when she's brought back as a clone in Alien Resurrection, it's in order to bring Sigourney Weaver back. This time with enhanced strength and acidic blood. So she's not only back, but she's also even more badass than she was before. (Which actually seems to be a trend with scifi resurrections.)

3. Captain Jack Harkness (Doctor Who and Torchwood)
In "The Parting of the Ways," the finale of Series 1, Jack is killed by the Daleks, but is brought back by Rose Tyler, who's essentially ingested the power of the time vortex, making her pretty much all-powerful. When she brings him back to life, however, she kind of overdoes it, and now Captain Jack cannot die.

4. Buffy Summers (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
In the hundredth episode, "The Gift," Buffy sacrifices herself for her sister Dawn. After she's been dead for five months, she's brought back by her friends in "Bargaining." Whoever said you can't get by with a little help from your friends?

5. Charlotte "Chuck" Charles (Pushing Daisies)
Really, every single dead person Ned touches comes back to life. (Remember the Resurrection Glove in Torchwood? That's basically Ned, only Ned bakes pie too. And has a few more rules about how long he's allowed to keep the dead alive.) Well, he breaks those rules to let his dead childhood sweetheart, Chuck, remain in the land of the living, making her the most permanently resurrected character on the show.

6. Pretty Much Every Dead Superhero Ever
It would take forever to even tip the iceberg here. I figure it's a pretty fair assumption that if a superhero's died, they've also come back, maybe more than once. And if they haven't, you just have to wait a few years and they will. (Or they'll somehow manage to keep showing up in death. Exhibit A: The Dibnys.) Superman, Jean Grey, Batman, Jason Todd (Robin II), Hal Jordan (Green Lantern I), and on and on and on . . . No wonder they say death is a revolving door in comics.

7. The Iron Giant (The Iron Giant)
Now, once you open the list to robots, it gets a little messy. You can, after all, repair and rebuild them. (You have the technology.) In this case, however, the Giant sacrifices himself in order to prevent the entire town getting destroyed by a nuclear missile from the USS Nautilus sent to destroy the Giant. Several months pass, and everyone thinks the Iron Giant is dead, but we see him in pieces at Langjökull glacier in Iceland, slowly calling all his parts together, ostensibly to reassemble. (On top of that, I still hold that voicing the Iron Giant is Vin Diesel's greatest role to date.)

8. Sam and Dean Winchester (Supernatural)
In the finale episodes of Season 2, Sam is killed by Jake, another "special" kid ("special" being "potentially demonic"), who really does think he's doing the right thing. Dean, however, feels that killing Sam is decidedly the wrong thing, so he makes a deal with a Crossroads Demon: Sam back to life in exchange for one year left of life for Dean. That's Winchester Resurrection #1. Unfortunately, Dean only has a year left to live, so at the end of Season 3, he, er, dies. Lucky for him, however, he gets dragged back by an angel named Castiel. (Unlucky for him, it's because it's his job to stop the Apocalypse.) And that's Winchester Resurrection #2. (Actually, it's probably also the second or third time Dean's died. But still.)

9. Captain James T. Kirk (The Return, a novel by William Shatner)
While the canonicity is most definitely in question, The Return also most definitely has Kirk coming back from the dead. He's resurrected by the Borg and implanted with false memories designed to make him hate the Federation. The goal is, of course, to destroy Picard, but at the end of the day, Kirk sacrifices himself in Picard's place, thereby making it seem that he is once again dead. Spock, however, does not believe that.

10. Pat Henry "Hobbit" Hobbins (The Armageddon Rag by George R. R. Martin)
Pat Hobbins was the frontman for a rock band called The Nazgul, but was assassinated at a 1970 concert. When the band reunites with a young lookalike singer named Larry (who's even had the cosmetic surgery to look like Hobbins), they begin noticing a change in Larry at concerts, but only when they perform songs off their aptly named last album, Music to Wake the Dead. Larry, for all intents and purposes, becomes the once-dead Hobbins. Maybe it could be argued more as possession, but the novel's title is taken from one of the band's songs, the second half of which is "The Resurrection Rag."

11. Aslan (The Narnia series, C. S. Lewis)
Hey, what better way to end a post in honor of Easter with a little allegory? He's tortured, humiliated, and murdered by the White Witch and her followers, but come dawn and he's back in all his glory, which he explains thus:

"But if she could have looked a little further back, [...] She [the White Witch] would have known that when a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor's stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backwards."


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<![CDATA[Spock Has A Sweet New Ride In Star Trek Movie]]> Some new details about the starships in the new Star Trek movie have come out — and they answer a major nagging question about the movie's over-arching plot. It seems as though we'll be getting to see a variety of types of ships, including one you might not have expected. Details (and spoilers) ahead.


Even though we were led to believe the movie follows young Jim Kirk and friends as they grow through Starfleet Academy, the movie also spends a lot of time on the Enterprise, according to Trek Movie.

As in the series, the bridge on The Enterprise will be the primary set for the Star Trek film. And while we do get to see James Kirk (Chris Pine) take the helm we will also watch Christopher Pike (Bruce Greenwood) in command as well. Other areas on the Enterprise that appeared in filming include staple Trekkie locations such as crew quarters, sickbay, engineering, the long winding corridors and the transporter room.

Other filming locations and possible plot details include a run-in with the time traveling Romulans. Their ship will appear in the movie under the command of Nero (Eric Bana). According to TrekMovie's inside sources the Romulan ship will be different from the Romulan ships from Star Trek: The Next Generation. We'll also get to see an older ship, the U.S.S. Kelvin, plus one of its medical shuttles — and Jim Kirk's dad George is the first officer.

Meanwhile, there's been a lot of speculation about how older Spock (Leonard Nimoy) travels back through time. (Or whether he time-travels or just reminisces.) According to TrekMovie, Spock does time travel, in his own one-man Vulcan space/time ship. There's more set info and spoilery details at TrekMovie TrekMovie.com.

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<![CDATA[The 7 Types Of Bad Bosses According To Star Trek (And How To Survive Them)]]> They yell at you and fire you twice a day. They insist that a five-day job should only take five hours. They flip-flop and then blame you for their mistakes. Star Trek's captains model all kinds of bad boss behavior, but luckily they also show us what to do with a boss who's out of touch with reality.


We already covered the 7 kinds of highly effective leadership as demonstrated by space captains. But captains can also model some pretty awful management, and noplace is this more apparent than in dear old Trek.

kirk.jpgThe bully. He alternates between jolly and grouchy — but even his jolly side is a little scary sometimes. He enjoys "teasing" his subordinates, especially anyone who's different in some way, like having funny-shaped ears. "Notices" his female underlings a little too closely. He does give an inspiring speech about risk-taking, but that's usually just to drag you into some weird body-switching scheme that will leave you with a weird rash for a month. He's also the original "I want it done yesterday" boss, who's "sick of hearing the word 'can't.'"
How to handle him: If he yells, yell back. Say "Dammit" a lot. If he asks how long something will take, exaggerate by at least 200 percent. If he starts cracking jokes at you, just ignore it, and he'll probably go away. But never, ever make fun of him back. (I've totally had this boss, like twice, and thinking of him as Captain Kirk really helped.)

Not-again-picard2.jpgThe father figure. He's your best pal, playing poker with you and listening to you whine about your holographic love life — until you piss him off, and then suddenly he's all shouty and mean. He's like your nice uncle who suddenly turns vicious. It actually startled me the first time Picard showed his bitchslapping side — and yet it shouldn't have. I've had bosses just like this. They're all about "nurturing," until you don't get their drycleaning to them on time, and then suddenly it's the screamy echochamber for you. He's also incredibly long-suffering, constantly annoyed by every little thing that goes wrong. Likes to bust out with a speech explaining the "moral" of everything that happens.
How to handle him: Don't ever mistake his "daddy" act for real friendship, or let your guard down around him. If he starts quoting Shakespeare or moralizing at you, just smile and nod until he stops. Don't confide in him about your personal shit, or he'll just bring it up when he's mad at you. He likes to nurture creativity, so go ahead and share your artsy projects with him, not to mention your bizarre schemes for getting out of whatever mess you've all gotten into this week.


200px-Gowron2367TNGReunion.jpgThe politician. On the surface, he's a big swaggering warlord... but it only takes a glance to realize he's really just a conniving weasel. He'll say anything to get ahead, and always manages to wind up in charge because he maneuvers all the smarter people into destroying each other while he remains unscathed. If you start doing too well or — worse yet — become too popular around the office, he orders you to do an impossible task and then blames you when you fail. Or he tries to maneuver you into self-destructing somehow, by giving you contradictory or unrealistic orders.
How to handle him: As always, Worf shows us the way. Challenge him to a duel, and then kill him. Or if you're not in a state where it's legal to kill your boss, then challenge him head-on, and destroy him. Whatever you do, don't try to be sneaky with him — that's playing his game.


180px-Sisko_baseball.jpgThe cold fish. He's always brooding and staring into his raktagino. When he does smile, it's usually a bitter smile at some irony he's spotted. Seldom praises your work, and when he does, there's often a bit of an edge to it. His main other mode besides glowering is screaming rage. But he does at least know how to laugh at himself... in a gloomy way.
How to handle him: Keep your distance. Learn how to read his little signals — like if he leaves his "special" baseball on his desk, that means he's planning on coming back after lunch. Or if he nods slightly, that means "Great job, keep it up!" Or maybe: "I'm firing you after lunch."


250px-Janeway_Season7.jpgThe blamer. She's always right — even when she changes her mind three times. She'll take a tough stand, but then change her tune if her cronies disagree. She lectures you about her principles, but they're all totally disposable. She's all like, "No, we are not going to make an alliance with the Denim," "There is no way we are possibly going to trade technology with the Gherkins," etc. etc. But when it comes down to it, she's all about expediency. And then after one of her little ethical shortcuts blows up in her face, it's always your fault, not hers. If you ever go around her, she puts on her hurty face and talks about how betrayed she feels. I've totally had this boss, too.
How to handle her: Don't ever crawl out on a limb to support her principled stances, or she'll leave you out there by yourself. She likes it when people challenge her — so go ahead and tell her she's wrong. She may end up agreeing with you. But don't ever count on her to stick to her big principles.


queen.jpgThe queen bee. She claims it's all about the group, and what's best for the "collective." It's not about her at all — in fact, just pretend she's not there. She's just there to speak for the group. And then she insists on being all showy — ooh, look at me lowering my head and spine into my slinky new body! She has to be the center of attention, even while she's pretending that she's one small part of a huge collective. She enjoys seducing you into her group, but once you join, you'll just be one of her bees. And if you ever get away, she'll keep bugging you and showing up when you're trying to chill in your regeneration alcove.
How to handle her: Take her at her word. Pretend you really do think she's just one small piece of a huge organization. That way, it shouldn't matter if you talk to one of her "drones" instead of her. It's all the same, right? It'll drive her crazy, and maybe she'll expose some weakness.

groupdecon.jpgThe hot-tub boss. Captain Archer is never mean — but then he expects you to strip down to your undies and get "decontaminated" with him every other Friday. He winks really big when he says it too: "Hey, you haven't been 'decontaminated' in a couple of weeks. I bet your rads are off the scale. Let's make a night of it. I'll bring the dog." Plus he's always inviting you for dinner in his quarters and talking about "Chef," which is probably like a pet name for a part of his body since you've never seen an actual chef around.
How to handle him: Get transferred as fast as possible.

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<![CDATA[Back, Back, Back To Life With The Best of the Worst Scifi Resurrections]]> Anyone who reads comic books knows that no one is ever really dead. Every character from Superman to Green Lantern has returned to life from the whereverafter they went to when sales figures dropped. Plus every zombie movie ever made brings your loved one back from the beyond, although they are never quite the same. Insta-reanimation doesn't happen as much in science fiction, where you have devices like nanobots and cellular regenerators that should make returning from the state of deadness quite easy. Of course when we do get a scifi resurrection, it's often so lame that you wish the character had stayed dead. Read on for our picks of the best bad returns from the grave.

  • Spock in Star Trek: There's no doubt that Spock was one of the best characters on Star Trek, which is what made his death so awesome. However, when he returned to life by having his body shot onto the Genesis planet, it just lost credibility for the science-hardened. How did Spock's dead body get injected into the Genesis life matrix anyhow? Good thing he'd downloaded his brainfiles into Bones, eh?
  • Ripley in Alien: Ripley was brought back to life in Alien: Resurrection as a clone, although with spotty memories of herself and a DNA strand laced with Alien bits and bobs, so she ends up as a freaky post-human mommy. It was creepy enough seeing all of the failed Ripley clones inside the vats, and the tied up Ripley who wants you to kill her, but the Ripley/Mommy clone was just devoid of everything we've loved about Ripley from the previous films. Yes, that's including Aliens 3.
  • The Cylons in Battlestar Galactica: The Cylons aren't just exactly clones in BSG, they're identical copies that take on the personality of their previous self upon death, and "rebirth" into wet, gooey, slimy, and slightly sexy birth tubs. They have to fly giant "Resurrection Ships" within reach of their "bring me back to life, I'm dead" signal, which sort of defeats the purpose. Couldn't their memoryfiles just be stored until they're close enough to get zapped into a new body? Why is it a finite process? Why are we asking so many questions about a show we love?
  • Just about any Jedi in Star Wars: When you die in Star Wars, and you have the power of the Force, you have the option of appearing as a glowing, transparent spectre. It's hinted that this is due to the research that Qui-Gon Jinn did sometime before he died, and it gets picked up by Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Anakin so everyone can reunite and glow with pleasure around fires and dispense knowledge to your Jedi-kin. In fact, if you're lucky, you might get your own green glowy action figure.
  • The Doctor in Doctor Who: If you ever need to keep bringing in actors to play the lead in your extremely long-running BBC science fiction show, what better way to just have them die and come back as the exact same person, who just happens to look completely different? The Doctor can resurrect or "regenerate" himself up to 12 times, although we're sure the writers could figure out some way around that. They might start working on that too, since we're already on the 10th model. Maybe we can get a new Doctor altogether? What about bringing back Romana?
  • Captain Kirk in Star Trek: If you remember your Star Trek storyline, then you'll recall that Captain Kirk dies in Star Trek Generations, putting an end the The Shat in the series. Or so you thought. Shatner went on to write a book called The Return, which features the Borg and the Romulans teaming up to bring Kirk back to life. Sort of like your worst nightmare. It inspired several further novels, all co-written by Shatner, proving that the man will probably never die.
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<![CDATA[New Star Trek Movie: An Expensive Comedy?]]> http://io9.com/assets/resources/2007/10/AP07100901706-thumb.jpgThe Star Trek movie is looking more like a comedy all the time. John Cho (Harold from Harold and Kumar) will play Sulu, and Simon Pegg (Shawn of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) will play Scotty. Also, Christopher Pine is still trying to decide between playing Kirk and starring in cop movie White Jazz. Still uncast: Doctor McCoy, original Enterprise captain Christopher Pike, and Kirk's parents. The other big Trek news? Sources say the film's budget is creeping upwards of $160 million — more than any Trek movie has ever made at the box office. Can you say flying bomb? Image by APImages


John Cho Is Sulu + $160 Million Budget?
[FirstShowing.Net]

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<![CDATA[Must See: Star Trek]]> Star%20Trek%20TOS.jpg Must-see movies are futuristic classics that shouldn't be missed. Of course, not every must-see is perfect. That's why we've rated them 1-5 on the patented "crunchy goodness" scale.

Title: Star Trek
Date: 1966-1969

Vitals: A paramilitary science squad in color-coded pajamas grapples (and sometimes makes whoopie) with the unknown. Captain Kirk almost loses control of the Enterprise in almost every episode — usually to a man who's either younger and hungrier, or even older and creepier.

Famous names: Gene Roddenberry, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Deforest Kelley, James Doohan, Harlan Ellison, Theodore Sturgeon.

Crunchy goodness: 3

Spinoffs/Sequels/Copycats: Eleven films, plus Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager and Enterprise.

Sights you'll never unsee: The half-black, half-white space racists running through fake yule log flames. A big blob ordering Abraham Lincoln to wrestle Vulcans. Captain Kirk flying a starship into a space dildo. Spock flamenco-dancing. It goes on and on.

Life lesson: "You'll have to get your entertainment somewhere else." — Captain Kirk.

Most painfully dated moment: The planet where the Vietnam war never ended.

TrekToday

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