io9 
Enter your username and password.
San Francisco, 9:08 AM
Thu Nov 26
22 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip your editors: tips@io9.com
Editor-in-Chief:
Annalee Newitz | Email
News Editor:
Charlie Jane Anders | Email
Associate Editor:
Meredith Woerner | Email
Assistant Editor:
Lauren Davis | Email
Weekend Editor:
Graeme McMillan | Email
Contributors:
Joshua Glenn
Stephen Goldmeier | Email
Ed Grabianowski | Email
Austin Grossman
Paul Hogan | Email
Lauren Davis | Email
Chris Hsiang | Email
Lynn Peril | Email
Ann VanderMeer
Alasdair Wilkins | Email
Graphic Designer:
Stephanie Fox | Email
Interns:
Tim Barribeau | Email
Julia Carusillo | Email
Alex Eichler | Email
Cyriaque Lamar | Email
Caitlin Petrakovitz | Email
Mary Ratliff | Email
Josh Snyder | Email
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
08/28/09
Trend 1: Many fans seem to see this match-up as a show vs. show or creator vs. creator match-up rather than a competition between two fictional characters.
CJ - perhaps when this poll is done, participants would gain satisfaction from a "fiction god match-up" in which they may vote for Gene Roddenberry or Joss Whedon as the greatest character/'verse creator ever.
Trend 2: Many seem to see the competition as a question of who would beat whom in a battle with each other. I can see how this would be one way to select a winner. On the other hand, it would seem to me that in determining badassness, one ought to consider the foes each character has faced and ask himself (or HERself!) how the other character would fare in said battle.
Based on those parameters, I don't necessarily think that River is the assumed winner of all match-ups from here on out. (And I say that as a Whedon and Firefly fan.)
In this case, though, I'm afraid River wins, if only by a margin.
When being attacked by Reavers or any other army, I want River over Kirk. Sorry, Kirk, I love you, but, as tough as you are, you can't take down a roomfull of insane cannibal monsters single-handedly. So, in regular combat, it's River.
In situations in which creative thinking is required, Kirk and River are on pretty equal footing. Kirk and River have both creatively saved the crew when forced to out-think, rather than out-whoop, a foe.
However, River's ability to read minds HAS to make this task easier. No offense to Kirk - he's pretty damn good at saving the day without psychic powers - but if it's a straight-across question of who has the higher badass-score, I think River's mental capacity has to win, simply because she has a super-power Kirk does not have.
Pit River against someone else with super-powers, though, and it could be a tough call. Each match-up is its own puzzle. I'd love to see River come out as the final winner, but I'm only going to vote for her if I truly believe she deserves the vote.
08/28/09
The thought is incredibly juvenile. If Kirk even had that thought, ABOUT A 16 YEAR OLD GIRL... He would be making a critically bad assumption about the ability of River.
It is very important to never underestimate your opponent. Thinking that any female could be beaten just by making eyes at her it just stupid.
As if a super intelligent, highly trained fighter would be derailed by the old guy with a pot belly that tries to frack every chick he sees...
08/28/09
08/28/09
08/28/09
08/28/09
08/28/09
08/28/09
08/28/09
08/28/09
The thing is, people are talking about pure power here, not fandom. If it were an issue of fandom, Kirk would rule all. A honest fight would be one of Trek's godlike aliens, like Q or Trelane.
08/28/09
08/28/09
08/28/09
I don't think anyone else is going to knock her off the pedestal.
08/28/09
08/28/09
Think someone who would be impervious to mental powers, who can take a punch, and is possibly the luckiest person alive.
Three words:
Homer. J. Simpson.
Either that or Tom Servo would just mock her until she dies of shame.
08/28/09
Hell, bring on Darth Vader. Let's see where this really goes.
08/28/09
How about the Doctor?
08/28/09
You are completely delusional if you thing old whimsical double handed blows to the chest then the back of the head like in Kirks old cheesy poorly choreographed fight scenes is enough to take out the most highly trained and deadly soldier/assassin in the Universe.
Darth Vader does not have the speed or agility to even compare, and they can both kill people with their brains. When 20 rebels stormed into the shuttle bay of the Death Star, Vader sent in Storm Troopers to fight for him. River took out dozens of Reavers.
This showdown is going to be a steam roll.
08/28/09
Again, this is why I hate Whedon.
08/28/09
08/28/09
Um, he's a TIMELORD.
Seriously, just shut up. I'm tired of hearing how badass this girl is. Whedon is like a Dungeon Master who lets his players give themselves all 18s. It's tiresome.
08/27/09
08/27/09
08/28/09
08/28/09
08/28/09
Not thirded. This is exactly why I hate Whedon. He has this Marvel Comics-style tendency to overpower his heroes. What's the fun in unstoppable characters?
08/28/09
08/27/09
08/27/09
08/27/09
In TOS-land (perhaps episode 98, partway through the fourth season that never was), River is being controlled by her brother (in the pay of the Klingons) in order to steal Starfleet secrets from the unsuspecting captain. In the climactic last-act fight Kirk manages to convince her to resist Simon's device (actually a control box from an electric blanket spray-painted silver), but doing so ends up fully breaking her brain. Spock catches the real villain with a nerve pinch as he attempts to escape, Kirk sheds a tear over his late love, and we proceed, sadder but wiser, to the end credits and the late night news.
In the Whedonverse, Kirk is a highly decorated officer and poster boy for the Alliance military. Unfortunately, the spotless uniform hides a callous Lothario's heart that won't take no for an answer. The particulars of the episode are not too important, but it starts with Miss Tam catching his eye and ends with him tied up in Serenity's cargo bay with (the unharmed) River, Zoe, Kaylee, Inara and several lengths of cast-iridium pipe. Simon is on standby with smelling salts.
08/27/09
08/27/09
08/27/09
08/28/09
08/27/09
08/27/09