Comics have a grand problem of continuity. Long-lived characters have been starring in multiple monthly titles for years, amounting to thousands of issues, not counting guest stars, crossovers, and tie-ins. And every single one of those issues counts. With retroactive continuity, maybe our heroes fought a clone; or it was a dream; or the whole thing took place in a parallel reality; or someone didn't die, and instead someone took their unconscious body and healed them. Sometimes it's handled well, with good characterisation and a soft touch. But mostly, it isn't. Here are some of the worst, most ham-fisted and generally clumsy ways of dealing with problems in the history of your character.

One More Day/Brand New Day

During the events of Marvel's Civil War crossover, Spider-man revealed his secret identity to the public, making him and his family a massive target for all the would-be assassins, crime-lords and supervillains around. At the same time, Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Queseda had been publicly expressing his distaste for Spider-Man's marraige to Mary Jane for years, on the grounds that it aged the character too much.

Quesada wanted to return Spidey to his roots, bring back down-on-his-luck Peter Parker, still living with his Aunt May, still struggling to pay for webfluid and get by day-to-day. And of course, he did it in the clumsiest way possible. He took over writing this series when outgoing writer, J. Michael Straczynski didn't want to pen the revisions Quesada proposed. In "One More Day," Aunt May gets accidentally shot by a sniper, and lays in hospital, on the verge of death. And Spider-man makes a deal with the devil, literally. Mephisto, Marvel's Satan stand-in, saves Aunt May, but in exchange he would take the happy marriage of Peter and MJ, and make it as though it had never happened. So, Peter gave up his beautiful, loving wife in order to extend the life of his already elderly and frequently ill Aunt. In the process, the entire planet forgot his identity, and Peter and Mary Jane's daughter would never come to be. Well, to be fair, MJ made the final decision, but the whole concept made no sense, and avoided any explanations by just saying "it's magic!"

Xornneto

When Grant Morrison took over X-Men, he introduced some radical changes, including the concept of secondary mutations, and the idea that at their current rate, Mutants would soon out-populate normal humans. He also introduced into Xavier's school the character of Xorn, a Chinese mutant with a star for a head, who had spent years imprisoned, and became a teacher for some of the more troubled students at the institute. Xorn eventually revealed he was Magneto in disguise, and died in a giant battle, along with Jean Grey.

However, almost immediately afterwards, it was decided that Magneto was too high-profile to kill for real — so a retcon established that Xorn was NOT Magneto (who was alive and kicking in Genosha). Instead, Xorn was a real person under the influence of another mutant. Then, just for kicks, they introduced another Xorn, a twin to the first, so they could keep the character around. So rather than sticking with a dramatic and powerful moment, as originally written by Morrison, the new writers tossed out the crux of his final arc to preserve the status quo.

Superboy Prime Punches Reality

DC's continuity has always been plagued by issues of multiple realities, which were used as the original way to differentiate Golden Age versions of characters from the Silver Age. During DCs Crisis on Infinite Earth, through the cataclysmic arrival of the Anti-Monitor, all of these timelines were merged into one, dealing away with all the confusion once and for all. Several characters from these dead universes were tucked away in a pocket universe, including Superboy Prime, who came for a reality where he was the only superpowered character. He and Kal-L, the Golden Age Superman, eventually become so angry at the dark and gritty nature of the current DC universe, that Superboy Prime punches a hole through reality. Yup, he punches reality so hard, that it shatters, creating the multiverse, and retconning various story problems, including bringing the 1980s Robin, Jason Todd, back to life. That is the power of the retcon punch.

As a side note, an absolutely excellent version of the Superboy Prime story was told a few years ago in Superman: Secret Identity by Kurt Busiek and Stuart Immonen, which is well worth tracking down.

Power Girl's Origin
Originally, Power Girl was the Earth-2 version of Supergirl, a cousin to Superman who arrived long after he did, but with the same sort of powers. However, after the aforementioned Crisis on Infinite Earths, there was no more Earth-2, nor had there ever been. However, Power Girl existed on the main Earth, so she needed a new origin. So instead of making her another Kryptonian survivor (or something similar),she was revealed to be a descendant of the Atlantean sorcerer Arion, who lay in suspended animation for a thousand years before being revived in the current day. Did this make any sense? Nope. Did it gel at all with her old background? Not in the slightest. This stupidity was thankfully forgotten, and during Infinite Crisis, they just decided she was Supergirl from another dimension, and left it at that.

Gwen Stacy Slept With Norman Osborn

Gwen Stacy's death at the hands of the Green Goblin is considered one of the pivotal moments in Spider-man's history, and remains an incredibly poignant scene. However, during JMS's run on Spider-man, he gave her two children. Originally, his plan was that they be Peter's, and that she had them in secret. However, the editorial team decided that giving Spider-man two grown children would — wait for it — age Peter Parker too much.

Instead, they decided that Norman Osborn would be the father. That's right, Gwen Stacy hooked up with creepy old billionaire Osborn, got pregnant with twins, and kept them from Osborn — which is why he killed her. Then, he trained the twins to become assassins, to hunt down Spider-man.

Wolverine

Wolverine's entire history is just one crappy retcon piled on top of another. How's this for a start? Wolverine was originally meant to be an actual wolverine, who had been turned into a human by the high evolutionary, and his claws were part of his gloves. Then the claws became implants created by Weapon X, and he was a mutant. Then he was meant to be Sabertooth's son. Then it turns out he'd had bone claws all along, and they were just covered up with metal. Recently, however, things have started getting even weirder for Logan.

It turns out Wolverine now isn't a mutant, but rather a Lupine, a human looking species that evolved in parallel to humans — but from wolves, not apes. And there are two tribes: one with blond hair, the other with dark hair, and they hate each other — which is why Sabertooth hates Wolverine so much. They're not the only two, either — other Lupine's include Wolfsbane, Feral, Wild Child and Thornn. So pretty much ever feral mutant isn't actually a mutant, but a wolf person. They're all being manipulated by an almost immortal elder Lupine called Romulus.

Wolverine's healing factor has also suffered from major power creep over the years, expanding from "he can heal faster than most", to "was left as a skeleton after a major explosion, and healed completely within seconds." So to de-power him slightly, a retcon established that every time he dies, Wolverine has to fight the spirit of death to return to the living. Since WWI, he has been in constant combat with a being known as Lazaer (the worst anagram since Alucard), and his soul cannot return to his body unless he defeats Lazaer in limbo, each time. After some jiggerypokery with the resurrected version Shingen, Lazaer and Wolverine ended their constant battle — so if Wolverine dies again, it's for real.

Jean Grey and the Phoenix Force

This one is the great Grandaddy of weird retcons. Phoenix/Jean Grey took her own life after losing control of the awesome magnitude of the Phoenix Force, and accidentally devouring an inhabited planet. Cyclops was unsurprisingly bummed, hooked up with a clone of Jean, had a baby, which was then sent to the future to become Cable. However, a few years later, the writers wanted to bring Jean Grey back. So they decided that she was never Phoenix, instead the Phoenix Force created a simulacrum of her, and the real one was kept in stasis, deep beneath the ocean. Problem solved.

The Third Summers Brother?

Two of the X-Men, Cyclops and Havok, are brothers. At one point, the villainous Mr. Sinister dropped hints that there was in fact a third Summers brother, which would throw another powerful energy user into the X-Men universe. The originally planned extra brother was to be Adam X the X-Treme, also known as "the 90s personified". He had the power to combust blood, but only if someone was already cut, so he covered himself with blades (and wore a totally rad backwards cap). He was meant to be half human, half an alien Shi'ar, a product of the rape of his mother by the Shi'ar Emperor.

This origin story was used, instead, for the actual third Summers brother, Vulcan. He was retroactively introduced in 2006, when it was revealed that Charles Xavier sent him and a team to go rescue his missing X-Men decades ago. Unfortunately, the whole team was lost, and Xavier mind-wiped everyone to forget about it. The end product? Xavier was a dick, and Vulcan flew into space to become the Emperor of the Shi'ar.

Nightcrawler Is A Demon

Chuck Austen's run on X-Men is regarded by many readers as the low point for Marvel's mutant titles. In addition to adding a Mary Sue version of his wife, as well as making Havoc his own avatar; and having Angel have sex with the then underage Husk in front of her family, he also tweaked a couple of characters in a rather odd way. The most notable of these was to explain Nightcrawler's demonly looks as a result of him actually being part-demon. Turns out that Nightcrawler's mother, Mystique, hooked up with the demon Azazel, who sired a number of teleporting mutant babies, in the hopes of them breaking him out of Hell. So, Kurt Wagner, the almost priest and one of the most religious of the X-Men, was actually half demon

Rape Makes You Deep

Black Cat, Catwoman, Sue Dibny. What links these characters? They had rape retconned into their background as a way of making them edgier. It's lazy writing, offensive, and a cheap ploy to pad out the background of the characters. Sue Dibny's was particularly bad, because it was used as part of the Identity Crisis crossover, which helped turn DC into a far more dark 'n' gritty place, with almost no place for frivolity or fun.

Hal Jordan and The Space Bug

When Hal Jordan turned into the maniacal Parallax, it was originally a story of a superhero who cracked under the weight of his responsibilities. The entire population of his hometown, Coast City, was killed by the villainous Mongol, and Hal Jordan was driven mad with grief. Convinced that with more power he could bring them back to life, Jordan slaughters his way through the Green Lantern Corps and the Guardians of the Universe, and absorbs a huge amount of power, becoming the villain Parallax.

Hal eventually redeems himself, re-igniting the Sun and thus sacrificing his life, during a storyline called Final Night. The retcon was that Hal Jordan didn't break under the grief of the deaths of 7 million people that he'd sworn to protect, but rather he was under the influence of a yellow space bug called Parallax, which was the personification of fear. Thus, Hal Jordan came back as an unblemished character, who never did anything wrong.

Cassandra Cain Goes Evil, Gains Mastery of English Language

Cassandra Cain was the modern Batgirl. Trained as an assassin from a young age, she rebelled against her past to join the Bat family. She kicked ass and took names, but couldn't speak, read or write. Eventually, she managed to learn basic English, and became a core figure in the Bat books, and a tireless crime fighter. Then, during the One Year Later timeshift, she suddenly had a perfect grasp of English, and was the leader of the League of Assassins, the same organization that had brutally trained and abused her since her childhood, and from which she had escaped. This was eventually explained through mind control drugs, but was still completely out of character.

Hawkman, Reincarnated Egyptian or Space Cop?

Originally, Hawkman was an archaeologist who turned out to be the reincarnation of an Egyptian prince. He flew around with wings made of the mysterious Nth metal, and hit things with a mace. Accompanying him was his reincarnated girlfriend, Hawkgirl. Then, in the Silver Age, DC made Hawkman and Hawkgirl space cops from the planet Thanagar.

Following this, there were multiple interpretations of the characters, sometimes simultaneously — the Hawks were reincarnated Egyptian lovers, alien police officers, or some combination of both. New background and retcon piled on top of one another, until no one knew what the actual background of everyone's favorite flying violence users. Just when you thought they couldn't get any more confusing, a 1990s comic explained that Hawkman was actually a Native American shaman who talked to spirit guide animals.

Presently, it's been established that all incarnations, regardless of origin, are the reincarnated souls of those Egyptian lovers, who were then exposed to Thanagarian technology. Their love is so powerful that it's become the source of all energy for all the Star Sapphires, superpowered women, in the current run of Green Lantern.

Teenage Tony Stark

At some point in the terrifying decade of comics known as the 90s, we learned that Iron Man (Tony Stark) had been under the control of Kang the Conqueror for years. Tony turned evil and killed someone. (Later, it was retconned that this wasn't actually Kang the Conqueror, but another villain, Immortus, in disguise.)

So, naturally, the Avengers went into an alternate timeline, and brought a teenaged Tony Stark forward in time to the present to fight the older Tony. Don't ask. So for a while, Tony was a teenager, until teenage Tony was killed fighting Onslaught, and adult Tony was brought back to life in another parallel universe, during the Heroes Reborn event. Eventually, this was folded in to normal Marvel continuity, and everyone forgot it ever happened. Bad writing, covered with bad retcons, and best forgotten.

Spider-man, Avatar of The Spider God

Spider-man was originally a science hero. Bitten by a radioactive spider, Peter Parker gained the proportional strength of an arachnid, the ability to cling to walls, and the uncanny ability to sense danger. Fashioning mechanical web-shooters, he fought crime as the Spectacular/Amazing/Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man.

After the massive success of the first Spider-man film, though, he was given biological web shooters, to make him more in line with the movie version. Under the stewardship of writer J. Michael Straczynski, it was revealed that the bite that brought Peter his powers wasn't a coincidence, but rather Peter was linked to a totemic Spider God who influenced him. Shortly after, Peter was mortally wounded, built a cocoon, and came out with additional powers, including wrist stingers, a poisonous bite, the ability to talk to arthropods, and night vision. Another side effect of Brand New Day was everyone, including Spider-man, forgetting about his new powers.

It's a bold new Batman status quo, with a whole new lineup of crimefighters behind the various masks. In case you've been taking a break from the goings on in Gotham City (and, considering a lot of what's been coming out lately, I couldn't exactly blame you), Dick Grayson is Batman, Damian Wayne (the supposed son of Bruce Wayne and Talia al Ghul) is Robin, Tim Drake is Red Robin, and somebody still to be revealed is Batgirl.

There's plenty more happening beyond just the immediate Batman family. Socialite Kate Kane is still Batwoman and is taking over the starring role in Detective Comics, the rogues Catwoman, Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn are reluctantly teaming up, and Kate Spencer (alias the lethal vigilante Manhunter) is Gotham's new District Attorney. And both the Question and the Outsiders are still doing their things.

There's a lot there to set up and establish, but with so many books (two of which even have second features), things don't get too rushed. Admittedly, it can be a little hard to remember exactly who is doing what and where. So let's break this down one book at a time.

The flagship for the relaunch really has to be Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely's Batman and Robin. Considering their last collaboration was the pretty much universally beloved All-Star Superman, expectations were understandably high for this new book, which is already guaranteed to run at least twelve issues with Morrison at the helm (although Quitely will depart after just three issues).

As I mentioned in my Trinity review, I have mixed feelings about Quitely's distinctive drawing style, which despite its unmistakable energy can make some of the characters look a bit, well...ugly. Still, I'd say his work has improved with each new project he undertakes, and it's hard to imagine a better partner for his images than Grant Morrison's ideas.

Compared to Final Crisis or Batman: RIP, Morrison is downright straightforward here, eschewing a lot of his usual mystical material for a more grounded tale that's a better fit for the world of Batman. In particular, Dick Grayson and Commissioner Gordon are far too sensible to readily fit into the usual insanity of Morrison's work, and it's nice to see Grant Morrison can write normal just as well as he can the crazy.

That said, there's still a giant talking toad who is introduced as one of the main new villains and goes completely unexplained, so I'm clearly grading on a curve here. And I'd be remiss if I ignored just how creepy and horrific the final few pages are, as they introduce the utterly deranged main villain for the book's first arc. Even for those who swore off reading Morrison in the wake of his last two big events, Batman and Robin is not to be missed.

Judd Winick's first issue of Batman (and the only one to feature the art of Ed Benes) largely concerns itself with retelling the events of the last few months, starting with Bruce Wayne's death at the end of Final Crisis. This might well seem redundant, but Winick manages to do in one issue what the entire Battle for the Cowl event could not - explain what Bruce's death means to the two people closest to him, namely Alfred Pennyworth and Dick Grayson (with apologies to Tim Drake).

This first issue is long on character and emotion and short on plot, and it works beautifully. It alternates between filling in the gaps of what happened during Battle for the Cowl and simply rewriting it, and it's hard to find fault with any of the alterations. In Battle for the Cowl, Dick's character arc was that he didn't really have any big problem with becoming Batman, but Bruce didn't want him to. It's valid enough, I suppose, but distinctly less satisfying than what Winick does here, as Dick tries to figure out how he can truly be Batman, not just an impostor wearing Bruce's suit.

Great as this first issue is, it doesn't necessarily give the best sense of Winick's ongoing run on Batman. This is very much a prologue to everything that will follow, and how he handles Batman in a character piece might not the same thing as how he will use him in an action story, but there's every reason here in this first issue to be optimistic for what lies ahead. If nothing else, the art will likely be enough to justify picking Batman up on a regular basis. Ed Benes is wonderful here, and I'm expecting similar brilliance from his successor, Trinity's Mark Bagley.

I suppose the big story with Detective Comics is that DC is making a lesbian character the protagonist of their longest continuously published book. That really should be some kind of milestone, right?* But, much like Batman's death, DC really hasn't done much to publicize this development. Whatever one makes of the company's public relations, Detective Comics is at least a pretty good consolation prize for Batwoman, who was meant to get her own book shortly after she was first introduced way back in 52.

Greg Rucka played a huge role in originating this new incarnation of Batwoman in 52, and it's hard to imagine a better writer to handle the character's starring debut. Kate Kane's close relationship with her military-minded father is a real highlight of the first issue, although it's fairly clear that's about the only thing going well in her life. Still scarred emotionally and physically by being stabbed in the heart at the end of 52, Kate's life is mostly in turmoil, with only the thought of vengeance against those who stabbed her to give her purpose.

Which brings me to the villains of this and pretty much every other Batwoman story, the religious fanatics of Intergang. Their role shouldn't really come as a surprise, considering how important the Crime Bible was to her story in both 52 and Final Crisis: Revelations (both written by Rucka, and both costarring Renee Montoya as the Question, who now occupies the second feature in Detective Comics). But I must admit some disappointment that they look set to dominate her story for the foreseeable future, partially because I've never really found the Crime Bible stuff all that interesting. Mostly, however, I'd like to see her establish herself as a character independent of Intergang, particularly when there is such an iconic cast of Gotham City villains for her to interact with.

I'm also not crazy about J.H. Williams's artwork. It veers wildly between gorgeous and pedestrian, with the former style for the Batwoman sequences and the latter for those following her alter ego. It's an interesting conceit, but I didn't really enjoying looking at the Kate Kane sequences, which seems like a drawback to a medium dependent on visual storytelling. Unlike, say, Ed Benes, whose style is consistently aesthetically pleasing and well-suited to action sequences, Williams seems more interested in establishing mood and atmosphere, which at times works beautifully.

There's no denying the Batwoman parts of Detective Comics are visually stunning, and it's entirely possible Williams's style will grow on me. Although - and this may sound like a very minor gripe - I doubt I'll ever like how pale Williams has made Kate Kane. There's one panel where she looks more like V from V from Vendetta than anything else, and that was a guy wearing a mask.

*In case you doubt the special place of Detective Comics, I would remind you what the "DC" in DC Comics stands for. And, yes, that does technically mean the company's full name is Detective Comics Comics. But I digress.

When I heard all the new titles announced back at New York Comic Con, I'd have to say Gotham City Sirens sounded the most intriguing. It also sounded like it had the potential to be DC's answer to Marvel Divas, which isn't what I'd call a good thing. The presence of writer Paul Dini confirmed my initial optimism, and I'm happy to say that he doesn't disappoint.

First, Dini created Harley Quinn back in Batman: The Animated Series. Then, he paired her up with Poison Ivy later in the show's run, with fantastic results. Now, he's adding Catwoman to the mix, who provides the perfect voice of sanity for this unlikely trio. (At this rate, by 2040 Paul Dini will be writing a movie that teams up every female character in the DC universe. I can't wait.) Dini is on very firm ground here with characters he knows very well, and it shows. (Another Dini favorite, Zatanna, also puts in an appearance, and I can only hope we'll see more of her as the series progresses.)

Catwoman is still recovering from having her heart removed by Hush (long story, but a good one), and she recognizes the need for teamwork in this harsher, more deadly Gotham City. Although the new would-be supervillain Boneblaster provides the trio with some rather irritating distractions, this first issue is mainly about setting up the dynamics of the three potential partners. The article ends with Poison Ivy drugging Catwoman and forcing her to answer one simple question: "Who is Batman?" Actually, that's not such a simple question these days, and I'm not completely sure Catwoman knows the answer herself. Either way, it's a pretty fantastic hook for the next issue, and I'm having trouble imagining what scenario Dini could come up with in which the team of Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, and Catwoman wouldn't be massively entertaining. Plus, Guillem March's artwork is a joy to look at.

The big question for Batman: Streets of Gotham is how it's going to distinguish itself as something more than just the other, other Batman book after Batman and Batman and Robin. Reteaming Paul Dini and Dustin Nguyen, who last worked together on what was easily the best part of Batman: RIP, the Detective Comics storyline "Heart of Hush", is a good start. The series is also taking its "Streets of Gotham" subtitle seriously, as this story is as much about Commissioner Gordon and a mysterious (but seemingly benevolent) new vigilante as it is about Batman.

Indeed, Dick Grayson is only seen "in character" as Batman, and Alfred is nowhere to be seen; I wonder whether this series will tend to downplay the behind-the-scenes aspects of Batman in favor of, well, the streets of Gotham. Still, Damian Wayne is given some time in the spotlight, and he's paired with a most worrying new chess partner: the recently incarcerated Thomas Elliott, alias Hush, who has surgically altered his appearance so that now he looks exactly like Bruce Wayne. I'm interested to see where that particular dynamic takes the series, although I'm guessing it's nowhere good.

The main thrust of this first issue is that even second-rate villains have become far more creative and disturbing in their schemes, as the formerly low-level bad guy Firefly starts remotely lighting people on fire using explosive nanites. The sight of people spontaneously bursting into flames is a horrific image, and the sight of Batman shooting the victims with a gun (even if it is just loaded with foam capsules) is off-putting in an entirely different way. Dini and Nguyen clearly aren't afraid of disturbing content and imagery, something confirmed by a scene where this brutal new vigilante rescues a child prostitute.

Still, none of it seems gratuitous or exploitative, and considering Paul Dini's work on Batman: The Animated Series is a huge reason why I love superheroes in the first place, I'm definitely optimistic that he knows what he's doing. Batman: Streets of Gotham also features a second feature starring Manhunter, which picks up on some threads from Battle for the Cowl. Right now, I'm treating it strictly as a nice bonus to the main story, but I was impressed with what I saw and am interested to see how successfully a complete story can be told in this shorter format.

Red Robin is something of an oddball compared to the other five major new or renewed Batman books. It's very decidedly not set in Gotham City, as Tim Drake sets out to travel the world in search of Bruce Wayne, who he is convinced is still alive (looks like somebody read to the very end of Final Crisis). He's also struggling to make sense of Dick Grayson choosing Damian Wayne over him as Robin, forcing him to don his new Red Robin identity. Even his name is providing him with existential angst - is he Tim Drake or Tim Wayne, and what does either say about him?

Tim Drake was probably always destined to be the character who lost the most in the wake of Bruce Wayne's death. There was no way he was ever going to become Batman instead of Dick Grayson, and I'm not sure the two really could have worked as a Batman and Robin pairing. Clearly, the powers-that-be at DC agreed, as a flashback shows Dick rather unceremoniously sending Tim on his merry way, primarily on the grounds that Dick needs to keep a close eye on the probably psychotic Damian Wayne. Dick has a point, but it doesn't make it seem any less unfair.

Not to belittle Chris Yost's writing or the artwork of Ramon Bachs, but I suspect Red Robin will become more interesting down the road. This is clearly being set up as the key book in Bruce Wayne's ultimate return, but that isn't going to happen for at least a year or two. Much as I like Tim Drake, I'm not sure his angst-ridden solo adventures can really maintain consistent quality before the series reaches its natural conclusion, in which Tim finds his adoptive father.

Tim states explicitly in this issue that he became Red Robin in part because it is not closely associated with Batman, meaning he can cross lines without reflecting poorly on Dick and Alfred. He is clearly headed for a darker place, and DC's recent track record in taking characters to darker places gives me serious concern. (I'm still not over what they did to poor Mary Marvel.) That said, this first issue pulls off the new, darker Tim fairly well, and placing at the end of the issue a reveal of Ra's al Ghul (who is fast becoming Tim Drake's archenemy) is a pretty good way to keep my interest.

Finally, Outsiders seems barely related to the rest of these Batman books, and it's almost surprising that this month's issue actually carries the "Batman Reborn" banner. As though to remind casual readers of the connection, issue 19 features Alfred and the Batman-influenced Owlman on the cover, but this is the only book of the seven in which Batman isn't even really referenced.

That said, writer Peter Tomasi is crafting a worthy followup to his work on final Nightwing and Robin books, and if the somewhat tenuous Batman connection was highlighted to drive up sales, at least readers are being pointed in the direction of a good book. It's refreshing to see a superhero team that can actually work together effectively (although the angst gets ratcheted up in this issue as Geo-Force looks for some even more final vengeance against Deathstroke).

The ongoing story pits the Outsiders against the very appropriately named Insiders, a mysterious quintet with greatly extended lifespans who are looking to achieve true immortality. To do this, they need to recover fragments of the meteorite that gave supervillain Vandal Savage his immortality 52,000 years ago. The story becomes significantly more interesting in this issue, as Savage himself turns up, followed by DC's other immortal supervillain, Ra's al Ghul, whose appearance will hopefully push this into more solidly Batman-related territory. (Also, if you're scoring at home, that means two different books in this month's "Batman Reborn" showcase end with last page Ra's al Ghul reveals. That guy sure gets around.)

So with all these various launches, relaunches, and continuations, which books are actually worth buying on a regular basis? Honestly, I'm excited for all seven of them (I'm also excited about my impending bankruptcy). But for those looking to be a little more selective, I'd have to say Batman and Robin, Batman, and Gotham City Sirens are the most promising series thus far and the ones most deserving of your immediate attention. It's been a long road back, but it looks like Batman is finally in safe hands once again, even if Bruce Wayne is still nowhere to be seen.

According to E!'s Ted Casablanca's column (so take it with a pillar of salt) the gorgeous, classic Hollywood brunette Rachel Weisz is being considered for the role of Catwoman in the next Batman movie. Warners would not comment either way. But if you're out there Warners, please make this happen.

Weisz could pull off the crazy and the subtlety that is Catwoman, plus she would look amazing in catlike garb (see above).

I know it's too good to be true, there's no way in hell. But honestly this is one million times better than Cher, so at least they're stepped up in the rumor mill.

[The Awful Truth]

Note: By popular demand, our polls now allow you to vote for more than one option. You can vote for all of them, if you feel like clicking all those boxes. Also, there's a write-in option, so you can let us know what slam-dunk candidates we left out. Enjoy!

Also: I don't have anything in particular against Green Arrow. I just thought that was a funny pic to use to illustrate the poll. Ollie fans, don't hate me, okay?

Hollywood Newsroom is claiming that any and all rumors that Angelina Jolie may be playing Catwoman in a potential third Chris Nolan Batman movie are false... because Maggie Gyllenhaal will be taking on the catcowl next:

Regarding Batman 3 rumors, we’re not going to guess if the next super villain is the Riddler (Johnny Depp) or the Penguin (Philip Seymour Hoffman). That’s all speculation at this point. But we do know two facts, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Aaron Eckhart signed on for two Bat-pictures. We’re not going to talk The Dark Knight spoilers, but hmmm. Nine lives indeed. Our source close to Maggie Gyllenhaal confirmed that she’s excited about the next movie, “why else would she, or Katie Holmes for that matter, take on the thankless roll of Rachel Dawson? After Katie left the roll, they could’ve create a new character. But that wasn’t part of Nolan’s plan. This is the trajectory he’s planned for Rachel since the first movie. Not only is Maggie contractually obligated, but she’s already getting in shape for Batman 3.”

Before you get too excited, bear these two things in mind: Firstly, Rachel got blown up and is dead, people. Okay, so there are some ways around that (Ra's Al Ghul, the villain from Batman Begins, has a certain way around death in the comics, after all), but so far Nolan has stayed away from openly superhuman/supernatural elements. More importantly, however, screenwriter on the movies David Goyer has already said that we won't be seeing Catwoman (or, for that matter, the Penguin) in the next movie:

Batman has been published for 70 years. In the first movie, we used Ra's Al Ghul and the Scarecrow, who had not been in the movies before, and had not been in the '60s TV show before... There are dozens if not hundreds of other characters that fit that bill. Everyone says it's got to be the Penguin or Catwoman [in the next film]... well I completely disagree.

So, there you go: No Angelina Jolie, no Maggie Gyllenhaal, and no Catwoman at all. Now, Johnny Depp as the Riddler? Unlikely... especially considering that Nolan has said that he's not even thinking about a third movie right now. But who could've seen Ledger as the Joker before it was announced?

Angelina Jolie is NOT Catwoman in Batman 3, it’s Maggie Gyllenhaal [Hollywood Newsroom] (Thanks, Amy)

We don't actually know how Catwoman will inflict a "fatality" yet, because that feature wasn't developed in the version we played. She does do a lovely whip-cracking move after she vanquishes her foe, which is fun to watch. She's wearing a skintight purple outfit that's like the Jim Balent cheesecake costume from the neck down, except that it's open in front and she has MASSIVE cleavage. From the neck up, she has the mask and goggles of the Darwyn Cooke version.

Superman is also a fun character to play, and he can hover and do extra moves like heat vision and freeze breath from mid air. You can also do combo moves, like suck people in with your super inhalation and then freeze them with your freeze breath. You can pull someone up into mid-air and then they hang in the air while you pound on them. Also, Flash can punch at super-speed, and run back and forth and put characters into super-spin. You can circle around using one controller, but also have the 2-D gameplay you remember from the MK arcade game using only the pads.

There's a whole storyline involving those concept art images we showed you before, Batcave and the trashed Metropolis with the Daily Planet globe on the ground and the cave with skulls. There will be cut scenes with true-to-the-comics dialog from Batman and other DC characters. And there'll be a whole story that explains, for example, why Supemran can't just smush Batman like a bug with one punch. (Hint: magic can affect Superman and reduce his powers, and there's tons of magic in the MK universe.) There's a quest and a team-up that brings the universes together, like the old JLA/JSA crossovers, and it progresses in a linear fashion. And it leads to a "huge payoff" involving a familiar DC universe villain that will make the DC fanboys very happy, says co-writer Jimmy Palmiotti.

The best part is that the DC characters' clothes get all ripped up and trashed as they fight — Batman's cowl got shredded as Superman pounded on him, and his chest had huge gouges in it. And when the Flash fought Scorpion, the back of his skintight costum got shredded so that his ass was hanging out, as Palmiotti pointed out gleefully to me. Flash ass FTW!