The things we learned from making this video: Star Trek is the undisputed ruler of the spaceship turbulence world. There's not even any competition. You know you're watching Star Trek if people are being flung around like socks in a dryer. Also, you can always tell if there's about to be turbulence, because Brent Spiner starts his lunge a moment early. And good unstable-spaceship acting starts from the pelvis, like a rhumba, and then works its way up to your shoulders and arms. Thanks to Lauren Davis for research help.

The monsters in this Hellboy totally trump the original. More Hellboy clips over at IGN. The creature feature is out July 11.

[IGN]

So watching these clips, and the others that are up at IESB, it becomes pretty clear that Joker does a great job of getting under Batman's skin and exploiting tensions that were always there. Harvey Dent, Jim Gordon and Batman never have an entirely smooth working relationship, and nobody's without compromise. Dent and Gordon both accuse each other of tolerating crooked underlings with mob connections — meanwhile Batman is a vigilante who will have to answer for the laws he's broken (according to Dent.)

The Joker's strategy of committing major mayhem and saying it'll only stop when Batman unmasks works perfectly, as you can see in the press conference scene. Because innocent citizens are dying, all to protect the identity of a masked criminal. In another sequence, which you can see at IESB, the mayor (Nestor Carbonell) struggles with Harvey's scheme to start locking up as many mob figures as possible, in the hope that some of the midlevel crooks talk. The mayor warns that everyone will come after Harvey — not just the mob, but the politicians and journalists whose pockets are going to be lighter without organized crime on the streets. Gotham is a dirty, dirty city, where nobody is ever really pure.

And some other stalwarts of the Bat-universe also get some nice moments in the film, judging from the new clips:

Alfred rocks. Michael Caine gets some amazing moments as Alfred in these new clips, carving out a much softer persona than the snarky manservant in the comics. In an early scene, he's helping to bandage Bruce after an attack by a giant, vicious dog, and he advises Bruce to "know your limits." But Bruce insists that Batman has no limits. But if he ever finds out he's wrong, Alfred can tell him "I told you so."

And then there's a later scene, after the Joker has said his killing spree will stop when Batman unmasks, where Bruce tells Alfred he's actually found Batman's limits — Batman can't endure this situation after all. But Alfred insists that Batman must endure, and the point of a masked figure like Batman is that he can make the unpopular choice that nobody else would ever make. (You've probably seen a bit of this in the trailer.) And Alfred says he doesn't want to tell Bruce he told him so after all — but then he sort of says it anyway.

Lucius Fox loves a challenge. There's a great clip where Bruce asks about being able to jump out of a plane, and gadgetmeister Lucius Fox is disappointed at the easy request — until Bruce asks how he can get back onto the plane, while it's still in flight. That's more like it, Lucius says.

Rachel is conflicted. Picking up for Katie Holmes as Bruce's ex-girlfriend Rachel, Maggie Gyllenhaal shows how sick she is of Bruce's arrogant B.S. — and how much she still wants to believe in him. Harvey and Rachel go to a fancy restaurant, where Harvey has to talk his way in, using his status as a government employee — and then Bruce waltzes in, with a prima ballerina on his arm. (A weirdly busty ballerina.) And later Rachel gives Bruce shit for making fun of Harvey in a way that probably goes over Harvey's head. [IESB]

The synthetic blood nourishment beverage Tru Blood is marketed like a beer with catch phrases like, "Friends Don't Let Friends Drink Friends." The company offers many different "brands": Type O is strong to the point of ruthlessness, Type A is for the creative and has calming abilities, B (seems like the most standard) is strong and wild and Type AB is a smooth blend that promises to be very refreshing. More vampire virals at Blood Copy, an HBO True Blood site.

So Mulder is still looking for his sister, sigh. I thought the addition of all the new characters like Dakota Whitney, Father Joe and Rapper Actor would spice it up, but it looks like they are going back to the same old thing. We'll have to hope that Callum Keith Rennie can save this movie with creepy side glances and alien experimentation.

Twitch uncovered this indie gem and speculates it's either a fan flick or a super low-budget movie. Even if it is a fan film, you gotta love the site of two grown men screaming and holding each other in horror, shaking miso soup Jurassic Park style.

G Trailer 2

[Twitch]

In the climax, as you can see, the girl finally proves she can walk right after the police have uncovered the identity of the killer ape. The shock of seeing Dr. Adrian un-aped and dying finally breaks through her mental inhibitions, and she's able to stagger out of her chair for the first time. Too bad she got the doc killed in the first place, by shouting at the top of her lungs that a killer ape was heading for his house.

In both versions of Mars, this sequence comes at a crucial point: Sam Tyler, trapped in 1972, has decided to help the cops solve a murder that he thinks may be related to the kidnapping of his girlfriend in the future. So he's giving a little talk about the psychology of the killer, and he decides to bring a woman police officer, Annie, into the mix.

Everything about the British version of this sequence is better. First of all, the sexism of the cops is way more believable — although in the American version, they do have a cop make a weird remark about Annie's boobs. It's way, way more clear that the female cop doesn't belong in this milieu, and in the British version she acts embarrassed, sheepish. In the American version, she's just sort of wooden and never really seems to doubt herself much at all. She's believable as a 1990s woman, but not a 1970s one.

And then there's the fact that in the American version, Sam Tyler does all of the talking — he's just brought Annie over to serve as a prop. (So he can grab her neck as if to strangle her, thus showing there's sexual tension between them.) He doesn't actually need her input, and she has nothing useful to say. (She only has a B.A. in psychology in the British version, not the American version.) It's creepy in both versions, but in the American version it's only creepy because Sam is a creep. The end.

So how does the American pilot (due to be totally reshot with a new cast except for the lead, and a new producer) compare with the British version otherwise? Well there's good news and bad news.

Okay, first the good news: The American version follows the story beats of the UK version, pretty much note for note. There's a guy kidnapping and killing women, and then Sam's (ex?) girlfriend, a fellow cop named Maia, goes after him and gets kidnapped. Sam is upset, and then he's hit by a car and finds himself in 1972. He finally decides to accept the reality of his surroundings and helps the 70s cops to find the same guy who apparently kidnapped Maia in the future.

Also, there's no funkay disco music in the actual episode — that was just for the promos.

Now for the bad news. There's not as much ambiguity about whether Sam is really in a coma. At the very end of the episode, we hear the bleeping and wheezing of Sam's life-support system, indicating to the slow viewers that he really is in a coma.

The relationship between Sam and Maia, his ex-girlfriend and current subordinate in the future, is way way more cheesy and pulpy in the American version. In the UK original, the tension between them is fairly subtle, but apparent enough to hit home. In the American rendition, it's a total sledge-hammer. When the cops go to pick up Colin Raimes, Sam orders Maia to hang back and protect the perimeter. "You can't protect me!" she bleats.

Later, it's Sam (not Maia, as in the British version) who insists that Colin Raimes is connected to the murders after Raimes has a perfect alibi. Instead of Maia being stubborn and insisting on investigating Raimes further, Sam orders her to look into it some more. "I have a feeling he's connected," Sam says. "It's nice to know you have feelings," Maia bleats. He gets all gruff with her and orders her to do his bidding.

And then there are the 1970s cops, who are just way less convincing. I love Colm Meaney, but he's not able to convey the asshole thuggishness of Philip Glennister's DCI Hunt. Meaney's version of Gene Hunt is a total pushover, a pansy. Yes, he roughs up Sam Tyler a bit here and there, but he's way too kindly. In one key scene, Hunt says Dora, a witness, is a "pain in the ass." (Just like in the British version.) But then he turns to Sam and says, "like you," in a sweet fatherly way. And later, Sam actually kicks Hunt's ass, which is just wrong. And there's none of the great stuff like the cops ruining evidence with their greasy food, or eating sandwiches and smoking in the morgue.

After they capture the serial killer, there's no debate over whether to destroy the psych report that could help him cop an insanity plea — it just never comes up in the American version. (Maybe they're saving it for episode two?)

One thing that was really elegant about the British version is that most of the characters just sort of ignore Sam's ravings, and assume he's just another weirdo. Only Annie actually listens and engages with Sam's belief that he's in a coma in the future. But in the American version, everybody seems to be aware of Sam's belief that he's from the future, and they all mock him for it. Which, you would think, might make it hard for them to take him seriously as a detective. The episode ends with the other cops still making fun of Sam's delusions that he's from the future. And the relationship between Sam and Gene has none of the complex mixture of male-bonding and mutual loathing that you see from early on in the UK version.

Speaking of which, there's absolutely no chemistry between Sam and his fellow cop Annie in this version — in fact, there's reverse chemistry, the kind that makes it impossible to believe they would even belong in the same room together. In fact, Sam has no chemistry with anyone in the American Mars — and I don't think replacing the entire cast except for Sam will fix the problem.

The creeptastic scene where Neil, Annie's ex-boyfriend, pretends to be a hypnotherapist who's reaching Sam in his coma makes no sense this time around. Instead of being Annie's ex-boyfriend, he's just a random psychotherapist friend of hers (who's mentioned in passing earlier) and he decides to introduce himself to Sam by trying this random-ass "treatment" and reach Sam in his own logic. It literally makes no sense and just feels weird.

Check out the long haired lady in the black and pink vest wielding the axe — looks like Juno (Natalie Jackson Mendoza). That's the same vest and the same axe that Sarah (Shauna Macdonald) hacked into Juno's leg with. Bet Sarah will be surprised when she finds her down there. Also the interview with Shauna Macdonald covered in blood and talking about the beauty of the old studio is hilarious.

Wonder of life and all that crap. But seriously — wonder of life! It's pretty awesome. Now if only I could get a robot to do this for me, instead of having to poot out those eggs myself every month, I would be totally psyched.

Human Ovulation Caught on Film [via New Scientist]

The short film, put together by University of Wisconsin students and directed by Eric Lim, looks fun and manages to capture the craziness of kaiju battles on a shoestring budget.

The filmmakers describe the plot like this:

As a genius inventor and scientist, Bryan Abrams is the brain behind the super sentai hero, Zero Trooper-F's brawn. Byran is loved and adored by his family, his co-workers, and the greater area of Greenside City. However, it's not a feeling he reciprocates. Bryan's overwhelming feeling of unfulfilled desire comes to a breaking point at the worst time possible, during a giant monster attack.

Here's the trailer:

Zero Trooper F [official site] Thanks, Avery Guerra!

Yes, this is our first peek at Two Face, aka deformed white knight Harvey Dent. You can see scarred Harvey slide in and seriously ruin a man's drink. You don't get a whole look at his ugly mug, just a tiny chin taste. I'm assuming Nolan will hide the full reveal until the very last minute in Dark Knight.

[newVideoPlayer("twofaceclip_io9.flv", 506, 423,"");">Why So Serious]

On the realism front, check out the costumes. Gone are the superhero outfits of the comic. Fox is dressed in a nice summer frock and pulls guns out of her purse: bye bye bat-belt and flashy strap-on technology. This is what Bekmambetov and his writer Derek Haas mean by "realism." Everybody looks civilian.

Also this clip does give us a small dose of real-life physics — or at least a stab at them. Sure the heroes can make their bullets curve, but when Fox shoots out the front of her Viper, she has to physically lift the wind shield — forget sexy scattering glass from one bullet. This is real life, lady. It takes work to make way for a shoot out. This also lends to the hilarious confusion from Wesley as he taps on her leg to get her to move her body ever so politely, because she's still an unknown stranger to him. I'm glad he just didn't "awaken" to his powers but still fumbles for some sort of social decorum when a hot lady is practically spread eagle and hanging out of a car in front of him.

Still, these stabs at realism seem just like that: stabs. I'm still wondering why we'd even want realism in a movie like this, whose whole point is that ordinary schlubs can become ninjas overnight.

There are so many great things about this rambling, bizarre movie (also featuring an aged Boris Karloff) that I can't capture them all for you. But suffice to say that the whole thing basically wobbles between psychotic scenes like this one where the scientists try to scare women with skeletons, and scenes where they stare at the blinky lights on computers and say things like, "We musn't kill anyone! We should show our research to the Institute!" Plus there's a lot of groovy 60s furniture, a weird guy in a funny hat, a dwarf, and the Igor substitute beating each other up sometimes. If anyone can explain the actual plot to me, I'll eat my DVD. [Fear Chamber via IMDB]

[Worth Playing and Game Riot]

The plot of this Ken Russell joint, such as it is, involves a series of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde style experiments where Hurt wants to explore alternate psychological states. There is a whole subplot involving religious epiphanies and native people and Hurt trying to deal with being married. Luckily most of the subplots come during his hallucination sequences, and also include him killing a goat with like 100 eyes on it. When he's not hallucinating, he's running around telling everybody incoherent, hippie-ish things about consciousness.

Eventually, he de-evolves into a primordial ooze and realizes that he does want to stay with his wife, even if she's not as hot as that student he was banging when he became homo-erectus in this clip. Oops, I gave away the ending. [Altered States via IMDB]

Looks like Aurora's special powers are slowing down space and time with her mind beams. Also, her lady pal Sister Rebecca can kick a lot of karate ass. Oh yeah and Thoorop has robot hands and dies, he says so himself.

[Oscarsvia Wired]

Here superninja AEon and her pupil are penetrating the defenses on a building that belongs to the family that fascistically controls the entire society where AEon lives. The premise is that most of the human race was wiped out by plague 400 years ago, and the descendants of the few remaining millions live in a single, techno-perfect city controlled by the Goodchild family. Where the design gets great is in the organic look of the technology: here you can see what are basically fruit-weapons. In other scenes, there are computers made of water (which look a lot like the cylon computers from Battlestar Galactica, actually). I like the way this film evokes a future world without resorting to the usual "blinky lights and computers" look.

Plus, the genemod feet! So cool. It makes no sense that there wouldn't be tons of other genemods running around in this flick, but that's just one of a zillion plotholes. For now, just enjoy the coolness. [AEon Flux via IMDB]

There's more of this making-of video at the link. [CHUD]

Yes, it turns out that Randy secretes a weird chemical, called Orgasmine, when she climaxes. And this is the neurotransmitter that causes orgasm. I didn't include this full scene because it goes on and on, but there's a part where the scientists' boss at the institute, Dr. Pandreck, spies on them having sex. And she somehow deduces the truth about Orgasmine, and realizes (in a fake Russian accent) that whoever controls the supply of Orgasmine will control — the worrrrld! Because once you can make people horny or orgasmic just by dosing them with a small amount of Desiree's neurotransmitters, you can make people do anything. It's probably a metaphor for communism or something.

I was actually a tad nervous about the two-parter that begins with "Silence In The Library," becuase I (and others) had built it up so much. Writer Steven Moffat, the writer of "Blink" and "The Empty Child," would come save us from the dreariness of Doctor Who season four with a lovely return to form. Luckily, Moffat pretty much delivers, with an episode that feels like a slow burn at first, until it starts unleashing plot twist after plot twist with terrific dexterity.

The stakes were even higher this time around, because we all know Moffat is taking over as the show-runner of Who in 2010. So it's hard not to see this episode as giving hints to where Moffat's version of the show might be heading.

Most obviously, the new character of River Song (Alex Kingston from ER) has a huge "recurring character" flag over her head. She's had some kind of intense relationship with the Doctor in his future (and her own past), and now their timelines have crossed. I would not say no to a few years of Doctor-and-River adventures, based on this one episode — she seems like a good foil for the Doctor, almost his equal in knowledge, but also independent. She's comfortable in the Doctor's world, but can obviously also do without him. And he's trusted her enough to give her his diary and his sonic screwdriver.

(And I would bet that the next time we see River, we'll get the reverse of this scenario, where the Doctor now knows her, but she doesn't know him. This is the sort of thing the Blinovitch Limitation Effect is supposed to prevent.)

But including River in the episode also opens up the Doctor's story in all sorts of other ways. Like: he's young for a change. I've lost count of how many times in the RTD era we've heard the Doctor refer to himself as old. (Or someone else referring to the Doctor that way.) It's a refrain. Now, all of a sudden, his best years are ahead of him — which is really a much more interesting way to pitch the show, if you think about it. (Of course, if he's really only got three more lives left, then objectively, he is old.) The idea of the Doctor getting hints about his own future has only been played with a few times before on the show (most notably in 1989's "Battlefield") but it's exciting to get hints about adventures we haven't seen yet.

And, of course, it's nice for the Doctor not to know everything for a change as well. Plus all the talk about "spoilers" and how bad it is to peek ahead, was obviously very gratifying.

The main story of the episode, of course, is only tangentially about River Song and the Doctor's future relationship with her. Instead, it's about a deserted library where sentient shadows are killing everybody. All of the stuff I'd heard in advance about "count the shadows" and "data ghosts" had sounded very similar to previous Moffat outings, especially last year's weird rules in "Blink" about not being able to close your eyes, or the stone angels will move. Actually watching the episode, however, it didn't feel like a retread at all, and the business with the shadows moving around felt sufficiently creepy, and yet logical, that it worked as a threat. Especially the moment where Proper Dave suddenly has two shadows, which made a nebulous threat suddenly very, very concrete.

And then there are the "data ghosts," stored brain patterns which continue to function for a while after death. They're a terrific metaphor for the slow realization that someone is gone forever — you think you can still hear them, still talk to them, for a while after their vital signs are wiped out. It's a nice way of twisting the knife of the show's two deaths, by making us linger over them. And then it makes Proper Dave much more scary, in a very "Are you my mummy?" way, once he's lurching around repeating his last words over and over again.

(I kept wondering if the "data ghosts" would be like the nano-genes in "The Empty Child" — a throwaway gimmick that turns out to be the key to the whole mess. Obviously people are being stored somehow, the way Donna has been "saved." We know Donna can't be dead. Probably.)

The other big mystery of the episode was the not-too-empty child, apparently in present-day Earth, who sees the library when she closes her eyes. Is she actually in the real world? Or is that just a Matrix-esque simulation that her consciousness has been ported into? Is she the library computer, or just connected to it somehow? I kept changing my mind about what role she was playing in the story, either innocent victim or secret ally of the Doctor — until the end, when she announced that Donna had been "saved," and she agreed to help the creepy Dr. Moon "save" the others. Which probably means she's part of the problem — even if unwittingly. Did she put all the humans, including Donna now, into some kind of electronic storage to save them from the living shadows?

Anyway, it was a lovely change of pace, and even the stuff that could have felt run-of-the-mill (new love interest for the Doctor, monster with weird arbitrary rules, child who can see the Doctor through her fireplacetelevision) somehow didn't, because the execution was awesome and you still couldn't tell where it was really going. Still very, very hopeful for the Moffat era of Doctor Who in a couple of years.