Annalee: "If you guys had to get out of those costumes really, really fast, how would you do it?"
Spidey: "You mean like, if the building was on fire? I always build secret escape hatches in here, so you can just pull and they're gone."
Spider-Woman: "Yeah, they come off in about five seconds." (We think she winked after that, but it's hard to tell behind those huge white eyecovers)
Spidey: "I mean, when you gotta to to the bathroom, you gotta go."

Annalee: "So, if you had to get out of that Stormtrooper outfit really, really fast what would you start with?"
Stormtrooper: "My helmet!"
Annalee: "Okay, then... what next?"
Stormtrooper: "Uh... my chestpiece!"
Annalee: "Okay, but what if you had to go to the bathroom? Is there any way to get out of there?"
Stormtrooper: "No!"

We left him to his Nerds and heard him whimpering for mommy. Did the Stormtroopers use catheters or something?

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• Day Glo Assassin (on the far right): "This isn't too dissimilar from how I normally dress, so I'd probably just take off my wig and book it. But, if I had to get naked, I'd probably start with the boots first, because it's hard to take anything off over them."
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• Agent Orange (second from the right): "The gloves! Because they make everything more difficult to maneuver around, especially zippers."
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• Random Hot Friend In Leopard Dress (second from left): "I think the tights, those are the hardest things to get off. I'd have to start there and move upwards."
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• Obsidian Blackbird McKnight — The Arch Nemesis (on the far left): "I'm wearing seven layers, there is no fast way for me to get naked. I guess I'd start with the corset I guess. That would make things easier."
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He said:

I'd have to have you do it for me, because it's really hard to get in and out of this thing. There's a zipper in the back, so I guess I'd have to just rip everything off and destroy my expensive suit here that I've spent a lot of time and effort on.

These crimfighters have their own MySpace pages, an online costume shop that builds their custom wear (whatever happened to people sewing it themselves, like Spidey did?), and are seriously into the gig, including the long hours of doing nothing. Like "Superhero" who patrols the highways of Florida in his 1975 Corvette, ""What I do is 80% boredom punctuated by 15% helping and 5% terror."

So you've got your crazy characters who try to fight crime on their own, deluded by the existence of comic books and heroes in the movies. Give them sort sort of baddie to go up against, like the couple who were inspired to become criminals by their goth books, have them go toe to toe. In the end, someone learns a heartwarming lesson about life, and that everyone is a hero on the inside, yadda yadda yadda, and bang, there's your movie.

Actually, we're surprised none of these people have ended up dead in an alley somewhere and splashed on the local news. Then the studios and comic book publisher could just brace themselves for the slew of lawsuits that would inevitably pop up with people saying, "Gee, Batman did it in a movie, so I copied him and lost my arm in the process! You owe me a million bucks!" So beat 'em to the punch already, Hollywood. Put them in your movie.

"Real" Villains In Need of A "Real" Superhero [Hardcore Math User]