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San Francisco, 9:08 AM
Sat Nov 28
16 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #crankhighvoltage more →

    Crank Creators + Television = Zeroes

    “Crank 2” Is An Epic of Sleazy Darwinism

    Amy Smart Talks Crank 3 Possibilities And Dirty Hose Play

    Crank 2 Poster Delivers Exactly What We Want From Statham

    Monsters, The Rock, And Adults Trapped In Teen Bodies Flood Movie Theaters
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of FrankN.Stein FrankN.Stein
    11/03/09

    In reply to Crank Creators + Television = Zeroes
    will there be public sex? otherwise i'm not interested... #crank
     Reply
    Belabras ate my dingo! promoted this comment FrankN.Stein was starred FrankN.Stein was unstarred
    Image of Jesse Astle Jesse Astle
    11/02/09

    In reply to Crank Creators + Television = Zeroes
    So, basically it's an hour long show of there only being ten seconds left on the timer. #crank
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana promoted this comment Jesse Astle was starred Jesse Astle was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    11/02/09

    @Jesse Astle: Seems to work out pretty well for "MacGruber"... #crank
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of Strakus Strakus
    11/02/09

    In reply to Crank Creators + Television = Zeroes
    I'm always cracked up when the pitchmen for a show or movie line up their selling points, and it exactly mirrors what grated on my nerves at their last outing. Action-quotient arms races are a dead end- you trade enough precedents for, and consequences, of, the action for more of said action and pretty soon all you have left is noises and shapes. Does modern TV not have enough action- are there not enough shootouts on the Shield, or nuclear exchanges on BSG, or murders on Dexter? Is there really a market for this? (Weeps when the realization strikes that Michael Bay's continued existence is proof there is such a market.) #crank
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana promoted this comment Strakus was starred Strakus was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    11/02/09

    @Strakus: "Coming to FOX this summer from executive producer Michael Bay. When you need something blown up real good, you call... THE DEMOLITIONISTS. Because plots are for pussies!" #crank
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
    11/02/09

    @schrodingers-katana: Sadly, it would get huge ratings.

    There's a show on Discovery Channel called "Destroyed In Seconds". All it is is a half-hour of some dude standing around in a junkyard doing intros of "And then, in Podunk Idaho..." and they show nothing but buildings exploding, cars crashing, XTreeem sports guys smashing themselves to bits.

    So it's being done right now. #crank
     Reply
    Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. was starred Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of schrodingers-katana schrodingers-katana
    11/02/09

    @Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.: We could always just make it a cop drama where the team uses dynamite instead of guns? Ooh! Or guns that shoot sticks of dynamite! #crank
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana was starred schrodingers-katana was unstarred
    Image of brentbent: C.O.C.K.R.O.A.C.H. )for all the queer super villians out there( brentbent: C.O.C.K.R.O.A.C.H. )for all the queer super villians out there(
    11/02/09

    @Strakus: If there's a market for wrestling then there is a market for this. Sports are the same for me, all action, no plot, and no rael character development, which equals boring in my book. #crank
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana promoted this comment brentbent: C.O.C.K.R.O.A.C.H. )for all the queer super villians out there( was starred brentbent: C.O.C.K.R.O.A.C.H. )for all the queer super villians out there( was unstarred
    Image of Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
    11/02/09

    @schrodingers-katana: Lasers on some, dynamite on others. BOOM! #crank
     Reply
    Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. was starred Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of spocko spocko
    11/02/09

    @schrodingers-katana: HA! And they K9 companions could shoot bees from their mouths when they bark. #crank
     Reply
    schrodingers-katana promoted this comment spocko was starred spocko was unstarred
    Image of ceptri ceptri
    11/02/09

    In reply to Crank Creators + Television = Zeroes
    Make it 30 minutes long. Write a 60 minute show and just don't film the first 30! Sounds great! #crank
     Reply
    RoboBagins promoted this comment ceptri was starred ceptri was unstarred
    Image of RoboBagins RoboBagins
    11/02/09

    @ceptri: It's so sad that I agree with a comment like this. #crank
     Reply
    RoboBagins was starred RoboBagins was unstarred
    Image of gorehound gorehound
    11/02/09

    In reply to Crank Creators + Television = Zeroes
    who cares about plot when you have guns and gore and death...........
    might be good on a ADULT channel but they will make it PG13 and remove all the good stuff so this show will fail quickly. #crank
     Reply
    gorehound was starred gorehound was unstarred
    Image of brentbent: C.O.C.K.R.O.A.C.H. )for all the queer super villians out there( brentbent: C.O.C.K.R.O.A.C.H. )for all the queer super villians out there(
    11/02/09

    In reply to Crank Creators + Television = Zeroes
    George: The story is the foundation of all entertainment. You must have a good story otherwise it's just masturbation.

    [George is the only one laughing]

    Russel: And people really have to care about the characters.

    George: Care? Forget about care. Love. They have to love the characters. Otherwise, why would they keep tuning in?

    Jerry: Wouldn't tune in.

    George: Would they tune in?

    Jerry: No tune.

    Russel: We like to look at the show as if it were in EKG. You have your highs and your lows and it goes up and down.

    George: The show will be like a heart attack!

    Jerry: Just a huge massive coronary. #crank
     Reply
    ManchuCandidate promoted this comment brentbent: C.O.C.K.R.O.A.C.H. )for all the queer super villians out there( was starred brentbent: C.O.C.K.R.O.A.C.H. )for all the queer super villians out there( was unstarred
    Image of ManchuCandidate ManchuCandidate
    11/02/09

    @brentbent: C.O.C.K.R.O.A.C.H. )for all the queer super villians out there(:
    Sounds about right: Action Seinfeld. #crank
     Reply
    ManchuCandidate was starred ManchuCandidate was unstarred
    Image of brentbent: C.O.C.K.R.O.A.C.H. )for all the queer super villians out there( brentbent: C.O.C.K.R.O.A.C.H. )for all the queer super villians out there(
    11/02/09

    @ManchuCandidate: That's exactly what I thought, Action Seinfeld, but I decided making my point by quoting the script makes me more cool. #crank
     Reply
    brentbent: C.O.C.K.R.O.A.C.H. )for all the queer super villians out there( was starred brentbent: C.O.C.K.R.O.A.C.H. )for all the queer super villians out there( was unstarred
    Image of shaunmcilroy shaunmcilroy
    11/02/09

    In reply to Crank Creators + Television = Zeroes
    It's almost like NBC are taking the most exciting parts of Heroes, calling it Zeroes and hoping it does well #crank
     Reply
    shaunmcilroy was starred shaunmcilroy was unstarred
    Image of NotChoinski NotChoinski
    11/02/09

    In reply to Crank Creators + Television = Zeroes
    It stars Jay Leno frantically attempting to get our attention for under $5ok per epsiode. #crank
     Reply
    NotChoinski was starred NotChoinski was unstarred
    Image of Roklimber Roklimber
    11/02/09

    In reply to Crank Creators + Television = Zeroes
    SWAT for the 21st century TV audience. #crank
     Reply
    Roklimber was starred Roklimber was unstarred
    Image of Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip! Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip!
    11/02/09

    In reply to Crank Creators + Television = Zeroes
    Well that should work for about a season, but I don't really see this becoming a long running show. #crank
     Reply
    Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip! was starred Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip! was unstarred
    Image of Jassen Jassen
    11/02/09

    @Belabras ate my dingo!: Well it kinda worked for COPS and i imagine this show as something similar but with more action. #crank
     Reply
    Belabras ate my dingo! promoted this comment Jassen was starred Jassen was unstarred
    Image of RoboBagins RoboBagins
    11/02/09

    @Belabras ate my dingo!: In our present day world, where tonight's nightmares appear on the front page of the news? Sounds easy. Hijackings, kidnappings, hostages, serial killers, bank robbers, terrorists, more terrorists, freedom fighters, even more terrorists, terrorists disguised as other terrorists! #crank
     Reply
    RoboBagins was starred RoboBagins was unstarred
    Image of Alasdair5000 Alasdair5000
    11/02/09

    In reply to Crank Creators + Television = Zeroes
    So it's Thunderbirds level rescue/action fiction but REALLY CRAZY THE WHOLE TIME?!

    HELL yes I'm there:) #crank
     Reply
    Alasdair5000 was starred Alasdair5000 was unstarred
    Image of ManchuCandidate ManchuCandidate
    11/02/09

    In reply to Crank Creators + Television = Zeroes
    Fuck plot and context. Guns! Guns!!! GUNSSSSS!!!!

    Just call it action porn. #crank
     Reply
    ManchuCandidate was starred ManchuCandidate was unstarred
    Image of Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip! Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip!
    11/02/09

    @ManchuCandidate:
    You say that like it's a bad thing. #crank
     Reply
    Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip! was starred Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip! was unstarred
    Image of RoboBagins RoboBagins
    11/02/09

    @ManchuCandidate: All that is missing is some Michael Bay.

    Sorry folks, I love that man. I know to turn off the thinker and light the fuse when sitting down to one of his movies. Even better in HD with kicking sound.

    It always needs more explosions! #crank
     Reply
    RoboBagins was starred RoboBagins was unstarred
    Image of Rasselas Rasselas
    04/18/09

    In reply to “Crank 2” Is An Epic of Sleazy Darwinism
    Annalee, are you married? I, uh, ask because a friend of mine....
     Reply
    Rasselas was starred Rasselas was unstarred
    Image of Grey_Area Grey_Area
    04/17/09

    In reply to “Crank 2” Is An Epic of Sleazy Darwinism
    Somehow this is a perfect summation to io9's salute to the Hyu-mon Mating Season. Much blessings to all you hormone-crazed mammals. Blessings!
     Reply
    Grey_Area was starred Grey_Area was unstarred
    Image of crashedpc - Haifisch crashedpc - Haifisch
    04/17/09

    @Grey_Area: *trembling* Sadly, we are both commenting late on a Friday evening.
     Reply
    crashedpc - Haifisch was starred crashedpc - Haifisch was unstarred
    Image of mediareport mediareport
    04/17/09

    In reply to “Crank 2” Is An Epic of Sleazy Darwinism
    Wow, this gush really makes me doubt io9's brains. I suppose I'll reserve final judgment until I'm drunk and at someone's house watching the Crank Yank 2: We Have Zero Ideas DVD, but the first film was just awful - classic jumpcut-no-story insulting idiocy that wasn't even worth watching in a "just fucking show me some stupid explosions" state.


    I'm finding it really hard to believe that there's anything worth wasting time on in the sequel. But, ok...maybe someday I'll find myself in front of it and change my mind. Hope to hell not, though.

     Reply
    mediareport was starred mediareport was unstarred
    Image of Moff Moff
    04/17/09

    @mediareport: I think you have to take it as what it is. I mean, if you go in expecting a mainstream movie that adheres to traditional standards of craft, you're going to be disappointed. But it seems like the directors are intentionally aiming for classic jump-cut, no-story, insulting idiocy. As the A.V. Club says, in a review that's similar in tone to Annalee's: "It'd be silly to call Crank: High Voltage over the top: The top is so far below that it isn't even visible."


    I dunno. I kinda liked the first one (and apparently enough other people did to warrant a sequel). It was ridiculous, but so much so that I felt like the directors were winking at us. It struck some kind of thoughtful chord in me, and it was a hell of a lot more memorable than a lot of the other movies I've seen in the past few years.

     Reply
    Moff was starred Moff was unstarred
    Image of Plague Plague
    04/17/09

    @mediareport:

    I bet you're a real hoot a parties.
     Reply
    Plague was starred Plague was unstarred
    Image of crashedpc - Haifisch crashedpc - Haifisch
    04/17/09

    @Plague: "And then, dude, like, HE JUST FUCKING ELECTROCUTED HIMSELF, MAN!!"


    "Clearly the film makers are not aware that the heart is controlled by tightly regulated electrical pulses that tell it when to beat."


    "..." * www.sadtrombone.com *

     Reply
    crashedpc - Haifisch was starred crashedpc - Haifisch was unstarred
    Image of Pope John Peeps II Pope John Peeps II
    04/17/09

    @Plague: "This drinking of beer at parties makes me seriously doubt your brains. I mean, beer is known to kill precious, precious brain cells. I have so many brain cells because I simply do not partake in beer. Also it lowers your inhibitions. Who knows, drinking beer might result in you making out with a woman! THE HORROR."
     Reply
    Pope John Peeps II was starred Pope John Peeps II was unstarred
    Image of crashedpc - Haifisch crashedpc - Haifisch
    04/17/09

    @Pope John Peeps II: "... My life is so empty."
     Reply
    crashedpc - Haifisch was starred crashedpc - Haifisch was unstarred
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