<![CDATA[io9: cyborg 2]]> http://tags.lifehacker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/io9.com.png <![CDATA[io9: cyborg 2]]> http://io9.com/tag/cyborg2 http://io9.com/tag/cyborg2 <![CDATA[The Last Temptation Of Jean-Claude Van Damme]]> If there's a greater movie than Cyborg, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, we're not sure we could stand to watch it. In this sequence, post-apocalyptic pirate-fighter Gibson gets crucified and has a traumatic flashback. Below, the greatest rain fight scene ever.

So in the above sequence, the bad guys have crucified Gibson, and he's reliving the moment when the evil Fender stole his daughter and left him, his wife and their kid to die in a well. (The daughter has a chance to save them, but only if she can hold on to a barbed-wire rope. Ouch.) Reliving the trauma from this event makes Gibson upset enough to kick a hole in the cross that's holding him up, while both his flashback self and his now-self scream "FENDER!!!"

So here's the final battle, including a great bit where Gibson is fighting a guy... who sort of casually strolls into a fairly small, contained flame. The guy instantly catches fire all over his body, and then stumbles into a car... which explodes. Yeah!! And then Gibson finally faces Fender... who takes off his sunglasses, revealing really skanky contact lenses. They stare at each other, the closeups getting tighter and tighter, until... FIGHT!!!

According to Wikipedia, this movie was made instead of a sequel to the live-action He-Man And The Masters Of The Universe and a live-action Spider-Man movie. Both the He-Man and Spidey films got cancelled, so the studio threw this masterpiece together instead. But it all turned out for the best, since it led to Cyborg 2, starring Angelina Jolie.

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<![CDATA[How To Get Root On Angelina Jolie's Brain]]> Could this be the greatest Angelina Jolie moment ever? Long before she starred in Wanted — before Hackers, even — she played a cyborg named Cash Reese in 1993's Cyborg 2, directed by the great schlock-meister Albert Pyun. Here are some of our favorite moments from the film, including a scene where a lady hacker gets root on Angelina's brain by talking to her about cream. Oh yes.


Other great moments in our little clips reel: Angelina freaks out because she's been injected with a liquid explosive, and it turns out if she gets too far away from her creators, she goes haywire. (This is according to her mentor Mercy (Jack Palance) who appears in this scene as lips on the TV screen. And yes, it's Palance that Elias Koteas is calling "hot lips," not Jolie.) She also beats the crap out of an Asian fortune-teller/hacker, and then gets roped by the aforementioned lady hacker, who wears garter belt and stockings to go cyborg hunting. (Who wouldn't?) [IMDB]

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