Troop is a health psychologist and lecturer at the University of Hertfordshire. Much of his work is focused on eating disorders and trauma, but he is also investigating how word usage can affect one's mood and health. As a sideline to his research, Troop decided to analyze the lyrics of all of David Bowie's songs using text analysis software Linguistic Inquiry and Word Count. Troop also looked at the relative success of Bowie songs, and based on his findings, penned lyrics to what he believes to be the "ideal" Bowie song. He explains his process in detail below, and sings his alleged hit-in-the-making, "Team, Meet Girls" at 4:24:

Team, Meet Girls; Girls, Meet Team (© Nick Troop, 2009)

Buddy loves good loving : Calm and proud while peace wins
Warmth and conversation : Heaven's energy and an elegant charm
Truth wins – an adult love to win awards
Sweet faith : Secure in the affection of a better boy
Feeling admiration : A cheerful kiss, kiss the phone
Truth wins – an adult love to win awards
Team, meet girls; girls, meet team
They met and were loving : Perfectly amazed, comfort and cared for
A loyal companion : Share, relax, creating humans XXX
Dear charm, playing nice give paradise smiles
Truth wins – an adult love to win awards
Team, meet girls; girls, meet team
Team, meet girls; girls, meet team
Special persons with casual ease enjoy the band
Lucky and rich, a special guest hero
Team, meet girls; girls, meet team
Team, meet girls; girls, meet team
Girls, meet team; team, meet girls

Scientist writes 'ideal' David Bowie Song [news:lite via William Gibson]

The APA introduced their ideas at their recent convention, drawing from past studies of astronaut psychology and even records of explorers from centuries past.

1. Have an electronic psychologist on board. The APA has already developed a computer program that will let astronauts discuss their psychological issues and assist with conflict resolution. Why a computer? Astronauts don't like to tell human doctors about their issues because they're afraid they might lose flight privileges.

2. Create a home away from home. Astronauts on board the International Space Station are isolated, but they can radio down to Earth easily. Martian explorers will have a hard time even seeing Earth, which could have a profound psychological effect. Psychologists recommend a regular schedule of communications with family and friends back home, even if there's a lengthy delay between "send" and "receive." Anything that connects the astronauts to Earth will combat crippling homesickness.

3. Find out how they dealt with these problems in the past. Tomorrow's explorers will follow in the figurative footsteps of Columbus and Balboa in ships like NASA's Orion, pictured. In many ways, those explorers dealt with a lot of the same problems, such as close quarters, isolation from family and friends and potential problems with other members of the crew. The APA says it plans to study historical records from Earth-bound explorers to find out how they did it. Image by: NASA

To The Moon And Mars: Psychologists Show New Ways To Deal With Health Challenges In Space. [Science Daily]

As you probably know, options for downloading non-DRM music on the internet are sparse. Wherever possible, I've provided links to YouTube music videos to ease your pain and give you a taste of the sound. Most of these songs should be fairly easy to track down for your personal collection, if you like them enough to spend a bit of money.

Radiohead - Paranoid Android

I never thought it was possible to make a creepy, provocative, and truly genius piece of music that takes its title from a sardonic robot in a classic work of humorous sci-fi. Radiohead showed me that it was. In fact, the body of the song came to Thom Yorke after he spent a horrific night at a bar with a bunch of cokeheads: "The people I saw that night were just like demons from another planet," he revealed in an interview. If that isn't a perfect way to describe alienation, I don't know what is. And nobody knows alienation better than Douglas Adams's magnificent creation Marvin the "Paranoid Android," whose malfunctioning circuits have given him a clinical depression that's second to none. What Radiohead's expressing here is utter bewilderment at reality — the essence of science fiction.

David Bowie - Space Oddity

David Bowie just might be the most talented musician to ever have a sci-fi fixation — and if you don't believe he's got a sci-fi fixation, I urge you to give another listen to "The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars." Seriously. (Definitely don't miss "Five Years" — inspired by a doomsday dream of Bowie's, it's a chilling bit of musical soothsaying.) 1969's "Space Oddity" was where it all started; Bowie recorded it such that its release would coincide with the moon landing, and the song shot him to stardom. Now, given that, the fact that he once played The Man Who Fell to Earth, and the fact that he can make dancing look good past the age of sixty ... are we certain he's not an alien?

Eisley - Invasion

When I clicked on the music video for this song, I thought I had accidentally-on-purpose opened an X-Files episode instead. Wide shots of foreboding forests, sinister out-of-focus figures surrounding the screen, handheld shots of an invisible menace — clearly this Texas family band has alien takeover on the brain. When they perform this song in concert, they always tell the audience to go see Invasion of the Body Snatchers; that's what I call true rockstar nerds! This is the closest to pod people music we're ever going to get, and it's fantastic.

The Byrds - Mr. Spaceman

With so much fearmongering about alien invasions, it's nice to get a dosage of good old-fashioned fascination from the people who brought us that charming cover of "Mr. Tambourine Man." After Mr. Tambourine Man came Mr. Spaceman — and just as the Byrds begged the first for a song, they ask the second, "won't you please take me along for a ride?" Anyone who's stayed up all night reading L'Engle or Clarke knows they would do the same if green lights appeared outside. We just can't help ourselves.

Jonathan Coulton - The Future Soon

Cyborgs! Talking dolphins! A robot bride! Jonathan Coulton sure knows exactly what it means to be a hopeless sci-fi geek, and he dreams that in the future "the things that make [him] weak and strange get engineered away." Don't we all. Even though this starts out as a sad story of love for a girl with bionic eyes, ultimately it's about optimism — just like the best sci-fi stories. And I have to give him points for his musical use of robotic beeps and modem sounds; clearly, like a true nerd, he understands their beauty.

Flight of the Conchords - Humans Are Dead

This song actually isn't intended for human listeners, as the New Zealand folk parody duo will point out before its performance. No, "Humans Are Dead" is a victory shanty from the future, sung by androids in robot bars everywhere after they've killed us all. It's a future in which computers are no longer overworked, elephants need have no fear of mistreatment, and, apparently, there are no stairs. You'll have to listen to the song to learn more about it — and as a bonus, you'll get to hear Jemaine Clement's machine voice and Bret McKenzie's solo in binary.

Zager and Evans - In the Year 2525

You might recognize this song from 1992's Alien³, but you probably haven't heard it since then; its predictions of the future were so dark that Clear Channel Communications included it on a list of music banned after September 11, 2001. As ever, though, this bit of forbidden art provides illuminating glimpses about the truth of human society, and it explores quite a few familiar sci-fi danger warnings. In the year 3535, for example, according to Zager and Evans, "Everything you think, do, and say / Is in the pill you took today." To musicians in the 1960s, this future probably seemed far away — but 2525 looks a lot closer from this side of the millenium.

T-Bone Burnett - Humans from Earth

Here's an interesting twist on the alien contact theme — T-Bone Burnett wrote a song for us Earthlings to play when we conquer other planets. "You have nothing at all to fear," he croons, with more than a hint of menace; "I think we're gonna like it here." The sound of the song is appropriately ominous, too ... exactly what one would imagine invading human rockstars would be like. Let's hope it never comes to that; thanks, T-Bone, for reminding us to try for the status of universal good guys.

Dan Bern - No Missing Link

If you've always thought Charles Darwin didn't give us the full story, Dan Bern knows how you feel. He's provided us all with a satisfying and sufficiently foul-mouthed answer to the question of our existence in this rock ditty of fiber optics, digital remastering, and limited access freeways. Bern has doubtless produced prettier songs — his time-travel ballad "God Said No" will moisten the eyes of even the most heartless cynic — but "No Missing Link" includes a background chorus belting out the words "genetic mutation," so it's a sure choice for any sci-fi mixtape.

Bree Sharp - David Duchovny

We've covered all of the most compelling aspects of science fiction: speculation about our future, the mystery of our own existence, the hope of our own exploration ... but we missed one, and the one we missed is the dizzying exuberance of fandom. Whether or not you've ever experienced any inexplicable lust for Agent Fox Mulder, you'll certainly be able to understand the obsession with the fantastic that lies between the lines of Bree Sharp's lyrics. Maybe we each wonder different things when we look up at the sky, but in the end we're all stargazing. And Bree, I would happily curl up under the covers and watch sci-fi TV with you anytime.

Here endeth the mixtape, at least for now. Thanks to sci-fi music enthusiasts Melissa, Heather, Becca, Stephen, Ellen, Mary, Katie, Jana, Lily, and Ken. Even with their expert help, though, I'm sure I've just scratched the surface. As always, I say: Let me know what I've missed!

1. Space Oddity by David Bowie. The ultimate science fiction ballad. If only the bar let you wave a lighter around.
Singing ability required: Moderate. You just need to be able to intone "Ground control to Major Tom" in a sort of monotone, count down from five, and then wave your beer bottle over your head to the rousing chorus.

2. Rocket Man by Elton John. The other ultimate science fiction ballad, and pretty much a rip-off of the Bowie song, only cheesier.
Singing ability required: High. Unless you decide to do a cover version of the famous Shatner rendition, in which case you need absolutely no vocal chops whatsoever.

3. Rapture by Blondie. Mostly for the rap about the Man from Mars. Who knows what the other part of the song is about anyway?
Singing ability required: High. But here's what you do. Either you find your cute friend who can actually sing to do the singing part, OR you cover the Go Home Productions mash-up of "Rapture" with "Riders On The Storm" by the Doors. (You can find this mash-up online pretty easily, I think, and it still includes the Blondie rap.) But this is the crucial part: memorize the rap. You don't have to be Kanye West to pull it off, but you do have to have it memorized, especially if you're already sorta drunk. Promise me you'll memorize it in advance, so you don't embarrass me too much. Or else, don't tell anybody I told you to do this.

4. 1999 by Prince. It's sort of an apocalyptic party song, about nuclear war or something. And on the album, it starts out with that robot that only wants you to have some fun.
Singing ability required: Fairly high. This is the one you drag all your friends up there to help you sing. Bonus points if you actually work out in advance which one of you will be Dez Dickerson (bass) and which one will be Lisa (alto).

5. She Blinded Me With Science by Thomas Dolby. It's pretty much the classic mad-scientist boogie number, from one of the most scifi-ish singers of all time.
Singing ability required: Moderate. If everybody is really really drunk, you can just sort of chant the lyrics and then put everything you've got into screaming "She blinded me! With! Science!" when appropriate. Or if that's too hard, just do the screaming part.

6. Anything by They Might Be Giants. Especially if they've got "Particle Man." They're sure to have that Istanbul/Constantinople song, which isn't really scifi, but TMBG has instant scifi cred anyway.
Singing ability: Fairly high, but you can bluff your way through it if you at least remember the lyrics.

7. Flash Gordon by Queen. Or, in a pinch, Another One Bites The Dust, which is sort of post-apocalyptic sounding. Do NOT try to sing Bohemian Rhapsody. It's not science fictional, for one thing, and your friends will disown you. You're not as funny as Wayne and Garth. Trust me.
Singing ability required: High. Sorry. It's Freddy Mercury.

8. Atomic Dog by George Clinton. Why is the dog atomic? Was there some kind of nuclear disaster, or bizarre scientific mishap? (Hint: Clinton also made the awesome Dope Dogs album, all about weird drug-related experiments on puppies.) Whatever the reason, this dog is probably chasing the cat using a jetpack or something. In an ideal universe, your karaoke bar would have "Unfunky UFO" or "Mothership Connection" or "Dr. Funkenstein." But we both know that's not going to happen.
Singing ability required: Pretty high, but you can pretty much just chant your way through it. If you can master the "bow-wow-wow-yippie-yi-yippie-yay" part, you're home free. This is another song you can bring your friends up for, and just have a dance party.

9. Styx, Mr. Roboto. Well, duh. His brain is IBM.
Singing ability required: I'd say moderate. Annalee just did an impromptu performance of it for me. If you put a lot of energy and emotion into "I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control," and "Secret secret I've got a secret," you're home free.

10. Anything by Daft Punk, especially Technologic. It's pretty much all weird robots or creepy cyber-voices chanting about how they're going to fix everything.
Singing ability required: Not that much, really. Just chant and sound as robotic as you can. But work out a dance routine with a couple of your friends.

• "Space Oddity" by David Bowie: Mercury Records considered this song about a stranded astronaut to be a gimmick track, and didn't pay much attention to it during production. However, they decided to rush it out to coincide with the Apollo 11 moon landing taking up much of the public attention, and it shot up the UK charts as a result.

  Best lyric: "And I think my spaceship knows which way to go"

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• "Rocket Man" by Elton John: Elton John's single about an astronaut's mixed feelings about leaving his family behind on a journey to Mars echoed a bit of Bowie's previous "Space Oddity," but has surpassed it in popularity and become one of his most popular.

  Best lyric: "Rocket Man, burning out his fuse up here alone."

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• "She Blinded Me With Science" by Thomas Dolby: Dolby's over the top homage to mad scientists actually featured a real British scientist with a cool name, Magnus Pyke, yelling out "Science!" during the song. On a side note, this also served as the opening song to the short-lived mutant teenagers tv show, The Misfits of Science.

  Best lyric: "Good heavens, Miss Sakamoto! You're beautiful!"

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• "Fly Me To The Moon" by Frank Sintatra: Originally titled "In Other Words," this song became one of Sinatra's staples, recorded with Count Basie with an arrangement by Quincy Jones. The song was also played by the Apollo 10 astronauts while on their lunar mission, meaning it did literally fly to the moon.

  Best lyric: Let me see what spring is like, on Jupiter and Mars.

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• "Red Barchetta" by Rush: This song was inspired by the futuristic short story "A Nice Morning Drive" in Road and Track magazine about vehicles of a dystopian era which have become huge, safe, and boring. In the song, the narrator drives an old and illicit car kept by his uncle, and the new futuristic cars can't keep up when he zooms across a narrow bridge. Very early 80s. Very awesome.

  Best lyric: "I strip away the old debris, that hides a shining car."

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• "Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots, Pt. 1" by The Flaming Lips: This song from the Lips' concept album of the same name is about a young Japanese girl who works for the city, battling the giant robots that keep invading. She's a black belt in karate, she takes a lot of vitamins, and the robots don't stand a chance.

  Best lyric: "Those evil-natured robots, they're programmed to destroy us."

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• "Mr. Roboto" by Styx: Styx performed this song on their rock opera album Kilroy Was Here. In it, the hero Kilroy is placed in a futuristic rock and roll prison, and escapes by hiding himself inside a menial custodial robot, The Roboto. He escapes the prison inside the metal shell, and offers up his thanks in the form of this song.

  Best lyric: "With parts made in Japan, I am the modern man."

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• "Space Age Love Song" by Flock of Seagulls: Granted, nothing is particularly science fiction about this song other than the title, but it's so firmly rooted in the 1980s that we had to include it for the sheer amount of nostalgia-power it resonates with. If you catch the retro-arcade wonders documentary Chasing Ghosts, this song runs over a brilliant montage of the videogames of yesteryear.

  Best lyric: "I saw your eyes, and you touched my mind."

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• "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath: This song about a time-traveling man of steel seeking revenge has not only become a mainstay of anthem rock and Black Sabbath, but it's had a resurgence in popularity thanks to both Guitar Hero and the filmmakers of the upcoming Marvel superhero flick of the same name using it prominently in the trailer. Probably one of the most identifiable guitar riffs in all the world.

  Best lyric: "He was turned to steel, in the great magnetic field."

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• "Love Missile F1-11" by Sigue Sigue Sputnik: This song, filled with simple repeated lyrics and sound effects, has been brought back to life by being featured in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Bowie even covered it in 2003. We're still not sure why it continues to endure, but hey, it's a love missile, and it closes out our outer space playlist.

  Best lyric: "There goes my love rocket red."

Unfortunately, the fairly awesome website for the movie, complete with radio transmissions, video, and pieces of a backstory suffered from a lapsed domain last night, so we're only left with scatterings from around the web. Of course they have a MySpace page, but that points you to the now-defunct website.

According to press materials around the web-o-nets:

"Two convicts, held in an orbiting detention facility above a post-apocalyptic earth, are hired by mega-corporation Hunsinger to perform a risky salvage mission down on the planet. They land, and work their way into a gigantic underground industrial complex, following a map to their ultimate destination, to retrieve and salvage... the item. Being prisoners, they are given little info, and are given credit toward early release as payment. They get more than they expected, and things go from bad to evil."

Which, granted, doesn't seem to make too much sense. They get hired and tossed down onto the planet without anything except a map? Do they even know what they're supposed to be down there picking up, except for heartache and death? The trailer unfortunately doesn't tell us much more than "the future makes Earth a pretty rough place," although the visuals look gorgeous. If you pieced together the sandy parts of Star Wars and tossed in doses of Cube, Primer, and Pi for low-budget crunchy goodness, you'd end up with something that looks like The Men Who Fell. Get this film to the States — we're impressed and want to see more!

And no, fannish friends, despite the title the film doesn't seem to have anything in common with David Bowie's 1976 The Man Who Fell To Earth.

[Quiet Earth]

For the uninitiated, Life On Mars, despite it's extraterrestrial sounding name, takes place entirely on Earth. In the BBC series, police detective Sam Tyler gets into a car accident in 2006, with David Bowie's "Life On Mars" playing on his iPod, and wakes up in 1973, where the same song is playing on an 8-track player. He soon finds himself doing police work for the cops back in the 70s, and the series makes it interesting by keeping you guessing as to whether or not he's in a coma and dreaming everything, if he's alive in 1973 and mentally deranged, or if he's actually traveled back in time.

Season Two opens with a scene that shows that Sam is indeed in a coma in 2006, but what he's doing back in 1973 might be affecting the future, putting a definite scifi spin on the show. While it was a hit in the UK, the show ended earlier this year after only two seasons. With the track record showing that U.S. versions of BBC hit shows usually tank (The Office being a notable exception), David Kelley faces an uphill battle. If this writer's strike ever ends, we'll be looking for Life On Mars next year and hoping it doesn't turn into a lame version of Journeyman. In the meantime we'll catch up on the original.

Is There Still 'Life On Mars'? Bloody Hell, Yeah [Televisionary]

Famous names: Nicholas Roeg, David Bowie, Rip Torn, Buck Henry

Crunchy goodness: 4

Sights you'll never unsee: David Bowie's outfits and high-tech house, all of which are a reminder of that brief time on the cusp of the 1980s when we imagined the future would look like a disco full of Apple computers.

Life lesson: As you always suspected, digital music storage was invented by aliens.

Stunt casting: David Bowie as an alien who becomes a celebrity. Hm, that's a stretch.

Bowie Golden Years: The Man Who Fell To Earth