<![CDATA[io9: Dear God No]]> http://cache.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/io9.com.png <![CDATA[io9: Dear God No]]> http://io9.com/tag/dear god no http://io9.com/tag/dear god no <![CDATA[ If This Movie Makes A Fortune, Humans Are Doomed ]]> The Weinstein Company released the final movie poster for Superhero Movie today, and it features Pamela Anderson's boobs, Leslie Nielsen wearing a "With Great Power Comes Hot Bitches" sweater, and not one but two penis jokes (check out Storm's lightning and Dragonfly's popcorn). We're all for parodying superheroes and science fiction, but when it devolves into beer hat jokes and shots of people being embarrassed that their underwear is on display, we doth protest. It would be easy to discount this film if Meet The Spartans hadn't just made $18 million in its opening weekend. If this one grosses anywhere near that, we fear for the fate of our species.

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io9-361898 Fri, 29 Feb 2008 09:33:56 PST Kevin Kelly http://io9.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=361898&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Jason Statham As An Undersea Prince ]]> jason_statham_dive.jpgJason Statham, who seems to have made a career out of kicking down doors, screaming, and shooting people, took a meeting with Marvel as part of an audition process for Namor, The Sub-Mariner. We'll pause while you process that for a bit. Just imagine the smooth-headed, Cockney-slinging Statham as the Prince of the Seas. Complete with a little speedo and wings on his ankles. Oh and the Spock ears, and those pointed eyebrows. Can you picture it? Neither can we. Thankfully, it doesn't seem to be happening. Another near movie disaster, narrowly averted. [IESB]

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io9-348545 Thu, 24 Jan 2008 12:00:07 PST Kevin Kelly http://io9.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=348545&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Marvel Working On 'Power Pack' Movie ]]> Window.jpg Stan Lee had a lot to talk about earlier this week when he accepted his Jules Verne Lifetime Achievement award, and one of those things was the fact that Marvel has been seriously considering doing a movie based on their Power Pack comic book. You can't chalk this one up to senility, because Lee definitely has all his marbles with him, but dear god in heaven please send a packet of smelling salts to the bigwigs over there before it's too late.

To put things in perspective, Power Pack is the book you hoped you weren't put on when you were hired by Marvel. Imagine getting hired at the place you've dreamed about working, and then being told "We're going to make you the letterer on Power Pack!" Ouch. Although it ran for 62 issues, it was never considered one of Marvel's finest.

Window-1.jpg The book was about four siblings, aged five to twelve, with the last name Power, who gained their abilities from a dying alien who was trying to stop their father from accidentally destroying the Earth with an experiment. As he kicked the bucket, he passed along his powers to them, leading them to don costumes and adopt nicknames like Mass Master and Energizer. They kept their identities a secret from their parents, although they never wore masks so they quite possibly had the dumbest parents on the planet.

The Powers, or "Power Pack" as they started calling themselves, fought alongside the X-Men and plenty of other Marvel heroes, but always felt like they were toddlers who had wandered into the fray. The series was canceled in 1991, but it's been popping back up with one-shots and miniseries lately, so someone still has a real soft spot for these characters. We just can't figure out who that is.

Marvel tried developing a live-action version in 1991 as a Saturday morning show, but it died after a craptastic pilot was produced. It's harder to find than bootleg copies of The Star Wars Christmas Special, but word is that it was horrendous. If they tried to bring it back today, it would meet with the same fate. After all, kids now have the Teen Titans and The Legion of Superheroes on television. Plus, if you saw the Tim Allen movie Zoom, then you've seen the best that a Power Pack movie could hope to be. There's a ton of great Marvel properties that would make great film or television properties. This ain't one of 'em.

Stan Lee Interviewed [Collider]

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io9-336309 Fri, 21 Dec 2007 08:00:17 PST Kevin Kelly http://io9.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=336309&view=rss&microfeed=true