Futurama: Slurm

When Fry gets to tour the factory for his favorite drink (and meet Slurms McKenzie) he discovers a nasty secret. The secret ingredient is actually green worm excrement. The queen worm is a shit-making factory and her goo is shot directly into the cans of Slurm. But in the end it doesn't really change his mind anyway. Futurama's other great food moment is "Parasites Lost" where Fry eats the parasite filled egg sandwich that in turn makes him brilliant and he is able to play the holophonor.

Demolition Man: Rat Burgers and Taco Bell

It's the year 2032 and alcohol, sex, nicotine, meat and other unhealthy foods are all outlawed, but that's not the worst of it. The only restaurant is Taco Bell. Now, how can you make a crunchy-cheesy gordita without cheese, salt, fat and cat food? It's impossible! Talk about a dystopia. But on the flip side, I'll pass on the other option, which is: live with the underground resistance led by Denis Leary, that dines on rat burgers. I find it hard to believe that John Spartan had no problem ripping into rat flesh, but more power to him.

Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory: Violet's Bad Berry

"By gum, it's gum." A three course dinner wrapped into one piece of gum. A little girl learns the hard way not to be such a freaking brat and listen to her elders, courtesy of some transforming gum. Watch the expansion of Violet Beauregarde below.

Waterworld...you know the scene

So Kevin Costner chose to create a machine that filters urine into water. Hmmmm... How did he test this? Seriously, were there trial runs? More importantly, why urine? Why not salt water? If you're going to put enough time and effort into something into creating a machine, why not go ahead and have it filter the most plentiful substance around?

Lost's Fish Biscuits

True love is sharing your fish biscuit. Sawyer and Kate are locked up in bear cages. First of all, who knew you could make such and thing as a fish biscuit? And second why were bears on the island in the first place? Little crazy details like DHARMA biscuits sets Lost apart from other scifi shows. With one pink biscuit you're knocked on your ass with questions.

Matrix: Steak of Deception and Breakfast of Snot

Neo and friends had a downright obsession with food. Steaks, noodles and utensils ('there is no spoon') were used to explain even the most complicated theories about the the matrix. But it actually helped break down complicated ideas. Who could forget the Mouse's conundrum over breakfast, which made you question how would artificial intelligence know what things tasted like? What about the orgasm inducing dessert from the Merovingian that demonstrated how he could manipulate the Matrix to suit his needs? Or the biggest betrayal of all, when Cypher trades in his fellow crew over a steak. It wasn't a bad meal per se, but it was the worst meal because Cypher's a bastard. It may be juicy but I think it tastes like your demise, my friend.

It's People!

So I know Soylent Green is people, and you know Soylent Green is people. But the first time you watched the movie weren't you completely horrified at what the future held for man? Was it the idea that the masses didn't know they were ingesting corpse wafers or just the actual act? Either way it put me off government cheese for good.

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• In Lexx, the living spaceship was also equipped with... living toilets. They even had large, waggling tongues, a la Little Shop of Horrors, and were more than eager to lap up the crew's waste materials. That would either make going to the bathroom incredibly fun, or moderately terrifying. Think you can hold it for 42,000,000 miles? You could if the toilet looked like it wanted to eat your ass.
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• Lexx wasn't the only living spaceship with bathroom facilities. Moya in Farscape also grew convenience spots for her crew, including showers and toilets. In fact, the water system was provided by Moya's own internal plumbing system, which her saliva powered the sewer system. That just seems like all kinds of "two girls, one cup" wrong.
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• In the future of Demolition Man, Sylvester Stallone was perplexed by the futuristic toilets. The bowls looked the same, but as far as waste management went, there were three mysterious "seashells" next to the toilet that he never quite figured out. We never figured it out either, and we'll chalk it up to extremely lazy writers who didn't feel the need to explain how they wiped their asses in the future, so now we'll forever be wondering what those damn shells did.
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• Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey was so detailed that the Zero Gravity Toilet installed on the passenger ship to the moon including verbose instructions on how to use the waste facilities. Although if you really had to go, we can't imagine anyone taking the time to actually read through all of these steps before stepping inside. Wouldn't you print something like this where you could easily read it while doing your duty? The only way this could be worse would be if they just handed you a 200 page manual as you went in.
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• Onboard the Serenity in Firefly, living space is at a premium, so they've got toilets that fold neatly into the wall and flush as they go. Then you pull out the sink like a drawer and wash your hands, although preferably using soap. In the clip below, Captain Mal Reynolds takes a whiz and then simply WETS HIS HANDS DOWN THE WATER then puts them on his face. Meaning he's just coated his cheeks in penis germs. No wonder he hasn't scored with Inara just yet.
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With apologies to Kathleen Meyer's How To Shit In The Woods.

• Barbarella: This movie was all about sex, from the opening credits where Jane Fonda strips down in zero gravity, to her encounter with Dr. Durand Durand's sex organ called "The Excessive Machine." Which is basically a piano that plays with your genitalia. It's supposed to kill her, but of course Barbarella breaks it, oh my. She also has super-sci fi sex in pill form, which manages to curl her hair a bit. There's even a character named Dildano, in case you had any doubts about all the sex.

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• Demolition Man: This movie has a scene where Sylvester Stallone gets it on with Sandra Bullock's character through some high-tech sex helmets. You put them on and "think" about sex, so no bodily fluids are exchanged. That way you can do the nasty and stay "pure." Thankfully, it saves us from seeing them writhing around in bed together. A sad Stallone retires to his apartment to knit (no joke), but he gets a wrong number video phone call, so you can still see some boobies. He probably wrote that scene in himself.

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• Liquid Sky: In this 1982 cult-classic, fashion model Margaret has a troupe of tiny aliens following her around and sucking up the endorphins released by the people she has sex with, because that's where they get their fuel from. Must make finding a service station a bit rough. She has trouble hiding the ever-growing body count until the aliens help her out and start vaporizing them for her. Where else could you get a line like, "I bet you $300 I can fuck Margaret and not die!" spoken by a woman?

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• Battlestar Galactica: There's a lot of sex going on in this show, because apparently Cylons are equipped with a horny circuit that's been switched into overdrive. Except for that short, balding guy. We've never seen him try to do the deed. Plus, Cylon's spines glow red during sex, which you think would make detecting them a bit easier than the iffy blood-test solution that Baltar comes up with. Plus, Starbuck gets strapped down and has an ovary removed in a Cylon reproduction farm, which means they're just having sex for the fun of it.

  
  

• Moonraker: James Bond ventures into outer space, has slow-motion fights with laser beams and while wearing a spacesuit, manages to turn Jaws into a good guy, and also gets down with some zero gravity action with Dr. Holly Goodhead. The film's effects are pretty laughable at this point (the space shuttle has LASER BEAMS, for god's sake), but that sex scene made it all worth it when you were ten years old. Plus Q gets off a good one-liner at the end when the Prime Minister video calls Bond to congratulate him and they sex him and Dr. Goodhead floating naked under some silvery space sheets. M says, "What's he doing?!" And Q, staring at a flight path quips "I think he's attempting re-entry!" Zing.

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• Species: Scientists get a message from the stars in this film, and it sounds suspiciously like spam. "Free unlimited fuel now! Ask me how!" They follow the instructions, which involve splicing human DNA with alien DNA, and it gives birth to... Natasha Henstridge. She escapes into the wild with her supermodel good looks, and the fact that she changed her haircut. What a disguise. Even one of the scientists assigned to track her down doesn't recognize her, and they have sex. She's like Clark Kent with that damn hair. Anyhow, she's hot, struts around naked, and doesn't hesitate to kill people who get in her way.

  
  

• Demon Seed: This 1977 film featured a sentient computer named Proteus that also controlled every aspect of the house that his creator's wife lived in. As he begins to go HAL-style crazy, he tells the good doctor's wife that he just wants to have a child, and she agrees! There's some cyborg/robo sex going on, which has to be seen to be believed, including the robot's line "If you prick me, do I not leak?" If your house starts pleasing you sexually, it's either time to move, or to re-appraise your property.

• Sleeper: In this Woody Allen film, Allen mistakenly gets put into cryogenic freeze and wakes up 200 years in the future, where all men have been rendered impotent, except those of Italian descent. Orgasmatron booths are popular destinations, where instead of making a phone call you get off, and "intoxication orbs" are passed around at parties, which appear to make the holder experience sexual bliss. Sounds like a decent future to me, thank god my great-grandmother was Italian.

  

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