The story begins with a fallen angel, Paul Bettany, who comes down to Earth to save a pregnant waitress at a truck stop from an army of Angels sent by God to wipe the world clean of humanity. The film is in theaters January 22, 2010.

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Wilder Napalm is a hard movie to track down on DVD, so here's the one bit on Youtube that we could find. Quaid and Arliss Howard are brothers, who both discover they're pyrokinetics as small children — so Howard gets a real job, and Quaid becomes a clown living in a trailer. Just because.

Here's the movie's trailer. Yes, Quaid really does say, "Once you've had a clown, you never go back":

The thing that makes this sequence from Dreamscape especially ridiculous is the loopy music and the weird red lighting — and then there are the kids watching their mom have sex with all of Mr. Burnett's golfing buddies. If you're going to confront this kind of disturbing, surreal sex dream, who would you want at your side but Dennis Quaid?

Probably Christopher Nolan's new movie set in the "architecture of the mind," Inception, won't feature any scenes remotely like this. We think.

And Quaid doesn't even need a machine to enter your dreams, as he proves later in the film by venturing into Kate Capshaw's erotic train dream...

Aren't you glad it's Dennis Quaid week?

Innerspace is a strong contender for Dennis Quaid's most bizarre SF movie of all time, although it has plenty of competition. After Quaid is injected into Short, he manages to hook himself up to Short's optic nerve and his eardrum, so he can see and hear what Short sees and hears — and he can somehow talk to Short as well. This allows Quaid to give Short advice on how to "dominate" Meg Ryan — which apparently worked well enough that Quaid and Ryan were married soon afterwards.

The other greatest sequence involves Robert Picardo, the holographic doctor from Star Trek: Voyager, playing an immensely hairy Eastern European fence called The Cowboy, who disco dances in cowboy boots (and sometimes not much else.) Short gets the drop on Picardo and ties him up in the bathtub, then Quaid somehow uses his miniature gizmos to convert Short's face into Picardo's. You know it makes sense.

At least, it makes more sense than a guy who's one molecule thick being able to drink normal-sized liquor, as Roger Ebert gleefully points out.

After talking to Quaid earlier today, we couldn't help watching him as the 1960s Queens everyman in Frequency, where his grown-up son starts babbling at him over the radio about baseball scores and who's going to die when. The son (played by Jim "Outlander" Caviezel) manages to save Quaid from dying in a warehouse fire, but through a kind of twisty movie logic, this leads to Quaid's wife being killed by a serial killer the following week. It never fails: You mess with the timelines, you get serial killers. It's all worth it for the above clip, where Caviezel has to explain the situation to Quaid. Who just takes it on board, because he's a mensch.

In Pandorum, opening this Friday, Quaid plays Payton, one of two space travelers who awake from hypersleep aboard a massive spaceship. (The other one is Bower, played by Ben Foster.) Hypersleep always leaves travelers with total amnesia, so Payton and Bower don't know who they are. Normally, there's supposed to be someone there to help reorient you when you reawaken from hypersleep, but they're on their own. And they're locked in the tiny room they wake up in. The first part of the movie is about their struggle to escape from this room — but once they finally get out, "that's when all hell breaks loose," says Quaid.

Are we ready for the return of space horror? "I sure enough do hope so," says Quaid. "If you have a good story — and this is a great story — a good movie, a fun, exciting movie, the audience will show up." He says Pandorum is "pretty amazing, in that it's part thriller, part horror movie, I guess... it's a myth, asking who are we? Are we who we think we are?"

And even though you've seen weird white creatures attacking our heroes out of the bowels of the spaceship in the trailers and clips, there aren't any aliens in this movie, says Quaid. "The aliens are us."

In the clips we've seen so far, Quaid's character seems like the steady voice of reason, compared with Foster's jumpy, paranoid character. But "that's only what it seems like," says Quaid. "My character is hiding something that even he himself doesn't know." Besides that, all Quaid will say about Payton is, "He's not who he thinks he is, let's put it that way."

He had fun playing off of Foster's jumpy, paranoid character, but also has some "pretty interesting" repartee with Cam Gigandet, who plays Gallo.

Quaid has heard the inevitable comparisons with District 9, what with humans peeling off their own skin and slowly turning into some kind of inhuman creature, but "this is a very different type of story." The film's title, Pandorum, "actually refers to a syndrome that occurs with prolonged space flight, where one begins to lose their grip on reality."

Quaid also appears in the upcoming Biblical horror film Legion, in which people have boils bursting out of their skin, among other things. We asked him which movie was grosser to film, and he said "I think they're about even." He says special effects are much easier to shoot than they used to be — in the old days, they were all mechanical, and now "they basically just build the whole thing around you."

Enemy Mine is one of our favorite films, so we had to ask Quaid about it — many accounts say the space epic was filmed twice, in its entirety. The studio fired original director Richard Loncraine, and director Wolfgang Petersen started over from scratch. But Quaid tells us they didn't quite get to film the entire movie before Loncraine was fired:

We didn't film it completely twice. We shot in Iceland with another director, for about four to six weeks, something like that. [It was] a very different concept of the film, and then the director was fired. And we shot in Germany with Wolfgang Petersen.

Nobody's ever seen the footage that Loncraine shot, and it's rumored to have been junked. But Quaid says it still exists somewhere, "but I'd like to see it myself." Quaid Loncraine's original version of Mine was "grittier," at least partly because it was filmed on location, with real weather, and Petersen shot his version on a soundstage. "It had a grittiness to it." But it was still the same basic story of a human and an alien, enemies in a bitter war, learning to become friends.

And finally, we asked Quaid if he's still on board for G.I. Joe 2. And he says, "Yeah if they do one, i'm there."

I'm still on the "Will Pandorum actually be as scary as Event Horizon" band wagon and so far the plot continues to be too dark to tell. But in these new clips we meet the rest of the rarely seen crew. What the hell is going on up there? And where did Ben get that delightful gun? Pandorum will be out September 25th.

Pandorum will be out September 25th.

First up, the ice cream man, played by Doug Jones, is pretty fantastic, I quite enjoy how he trots over an all fours. The rest of the "must protect the savior baby" is all well and good, but I'm more excited about the Biblical throwdowns and crazy old ladies climbing up the walls.

Looks like a delightful over-the-top B-movie fake spiritual war, a la Constantine, but with more blood and guts, and possibly pus coming from Dennis Quaid. I'm sure many, many people will say it's beneath them, but me, I'll be first in line for the Gabriel versus Michael angel battle. Legion will be released in theaters on January 22.

[via Myspace]

Here's the official synopsis:

Two crew members wake up on an abandoned spacecraft with no idea who they are, how long they've been asleep, or what their mission is. The two soon discover they're actually not alone — and the reality of their situation is more horrifying than they could have imagined.

Pandorum, will be in theaters September 4th, and it stars my favorite up and coming character actor of all time, Ben Foster. But until then, check out the poster Latino Review found floating around at WonderCon, and click the link for a closer look.

The premise behind Pandorum - described as a "mindfuck" by its creators - is very enticing despite having a familiar Lost vibe to it. Me, I'm calling it "Lost, in Space" (That all-important comma to keep you from getting it confused with the more family-friendly Lost in Space); seems that, in the movie, two men (Ben Foster and Dennis Quaid) wake up on a spacecraft with no memory whatsoever - but not only do these guys seem to be suffering from some sort of amnesia, there are mysterious other beings on the ship as well. "Something" is on the ship, we were cryptically told at the Wondercon panel, and "something" was most definitely hinted at in the trailer. Of course, there are no details as to what this thing is... However, since one of the movie's top stars (Cung Le) is a world-class fighting champion, I am making the assumption that there will be some kind of fighting as a result of its presence. Le, along with actress Antje Traue, play two characters that the newly awakened/confused astronauts encounter once they decide to explore the mysterious, massive ("city size," apparently) ship that they are on.

The movie is full of questions - Where did all these people come from? What is attacking everyone? Who can you trust? - and keeps the audience, and its characters, on the edge of their seat the entire time. From what we saw, the survivors seem to be in constant battle throughout the entire movie, either with each other, a menacing force, or even themselves. Find out what's behind it all when the movie gets released this September.

Images from Shock Till You Drop.

The two crewmen awaken (Quaid and Foster) and their ship is over run with TRIBESMEN. You know the spear-carrying, "I hunt for food" kind of people. This group of people is now trying to kill the confused and bewildered spacemen.

Now, I'd watch Ben Foster open letters for an hour. He's that entertaining of an actor. So actually, I am pretty optimistic, but I'm having trouble accepting the idea of tribal warriors running around on a space ship. If the future human race has invented space travel and hyper space sleep wouldn't you assume that Quaid and Foster would be better equipped with rayguns or blasters to kill said tribe? We're going to have to wait this one out until a trailer surfaces. Until then you can view more stills from the flick at Entertainment Weekly. There is still no release date attached to this film.

Now who wouldn't want an ambulance dispatch when they have a heart attack, but automatically summoning the authorities whenever your vitals go haywire? There are plenty of reasons that could happen, and most of them are pretty personal. There's also a proposal on the table to have your pill dispenser automatically alert the hospital when you haven't been taking your meds...

This sounds like privacy clusterf—k waiting to happen, but to their credit the folks at OfCom at least appear aware of the issues:

If the "in-body network" recorded that the person had suddenly collapsed, it would send an alert, via a nearby base station at their home, to a surgery or hospital.

However, Ofcom also gave warning in its report, Tomorrow's Wireless World, that the impact of such technology on personal privacy would require more debate.

That 'more debate' is definitely going to need some clarification. Still, in principle it's hard to deny the awesomeness of getting Bluetooth installed in your body.

Oh, and before Dennis Quaid goes and loses it completely, we'd better console him — despite their uber-coolness, the sensors cannot replace you, Dennis. Only you have the power, as the pilot of your miniature vehicle designed for intrabody-exploration, to push a button and rearrange Martin Short or indeed any one else's face to look like The Cowboy's (Pictured).

Source: The Times Online via LiveScience

Image: Firstshowing.net