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Bill-Lee
10/08/09

In reply to What's Up, Doc? (Twenty of the Best Physicians in Science Fiction)
"The Doctor might be an Emergency Medical Hologram, but he's more than just a bit of hardware." That's because he's not hardware at all. The Emergency Medical Hologram is software stored on Voyager's hard drive. He can also be downloaded into a mobile hologram emitter from the 29th Century.
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Robert Hewitt Wolfe
06/08/09

In reply to Star Trek's Absolute Worst Holodeck Adventures
I cashed a residuals check for "A Fistful of Datas" the other day. Please continue watching it and debating its horribleness for all eternity. Thanks!

No, seriously, thanks for watching. I actually do apprecitate it.
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Rainbucket
06/08/09

In reply to Star Trek's Absolute Worst Holodeck Adventures
I'm sorry that Outrageous Okona was spared, just because I've longed to see that episode eviscerated here. But you could do a whole other article listing the low points of early TNG tell-don't-show writing, aka the "Informed Attribute."

([www.agonybooth.com])

Still, Joe freakin Piscopo?
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EBone
06/11/09

@Rainbucket: True story: they had originally wanted Jerry Lewis and written it for him, but he was unavailable at the last minute. So they got Piscopo (who is always available).
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EBone
06/05/09

In reply to Star Trek's Absolute Worst Holodeck Adventures
Do NOT badmouth Carolyn McCormick. She was hotter than hot on Spenser For Hire, Law & Order, and as Minuet.
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Lee Shackleford
06/05/09

In reply to Star Trek's Absolute Worst Holodeck Adventures
Jane, I have to stick up for SHIP IN A BOTTLE because, well, I wrote the first draft of it. René Echevarria gets screen credit (as well he should) because his was the final version, and "josh42042," I'd love to tell you that ending was mine but it was all René. In my draft Data talked the holodeck into running the original Conan Doyle story "The Final Problem" in which Holmes and Moriarty both die. Is Data dead, killed by the running-amok holodeck? No -- Data built in the escape clause, namely the later Conan Doyle story in which Holmes turns up safe and sound. Would that have been better or worse than the episode as it was ultimately written? I've been wondering for nearly twenty years...

And look, I gotta say this, HOLLOW PURSUITS started as an inside joke at the Trek office and worked its way outward into an episode that was, I think, thoughtful and intriguing. The joke was that if Star Trek fans actually got to live on the Enterprise they'd spend all their time on the holodeck, even though amazing wonders of scientific discovery were constantly passing them by. "We need you out here, Reg," Geordi tells Barclay, and I thought it was one of the series' great moments! It was very nearly a wink to the camera -- "Look, ST fans, you're smart and creative -- turn off the TV and the video games and get out there and DO something in the real world!" I thought it took guts to write that episode, since it was sort of biting-the-hand-that-fed-it, if you will. Wish I could claim I had something to with that one but I did not. :(
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Charlie Jane Anders
06/05/09

@Lee Shackleford: Hi, thanks for coming and commenting! I rewatched about half of "Ship In A Bottle" this morning on youtube, and to be fair, it was better than I had remembered. But I still found the Moriarty-takes-over-the-Enterprise plot a bit hard to swallow. I actually like your original idea of the story's ending a lot -- that would have been a fun way to get rid of that character, by metafictionally trapping him back in the story he's supposed to die in.
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Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
06/05/09

@Lee Shackleford: Your original ending sounds much cooler, frankly. So... there's your answer.
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PVIII
06/05/09

In reply to Star Trek's Absolute Worst Holodeck Adventures
Oh Cynics corner, how I love thee. Really need one for Heroes. Could write a book on the failings of that show.

Count me in kinda enjoying Vic though.
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Charlie Jane Anders
06/05/09

@PVIII: Cynics Corner was my fave website for a long time.
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Xon0215
06/05/09

In reply to Star Trek's Absolute Worst Holodeck Adventures
I'm a little shocked that you picked "Badda-Bing, Badda-Bang" as your DS9 pick. I'm not defending the episode, but I thought "Take Me Out to Holosuite" was way, WAY worse.
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Charlie Jane Anders
06/05/09

@Xon0215: Yeah it was a tough one. I kind of hate "Take Me Out To The Holosuite" too... but at least it was sort of fun. And they had to do that episode, because Sisko had spent the last 7 years being built up as a baseball fanatic. So it was like a payoff. And the fact that he doesn't win, but still wins anyway, sort of made it work for me. I dunno.
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Elizabeth Weinbloom
06/05/09

In reply to Star Trek's Absolute Worst Holodeck Adventures
Oi! Don't knock Wishbone! If all holodeck episodes were more "Wishbone-esque," why then... there'd be more Wishbone. And I'd have fewer novels I'd need to read before discussing.

Gee willickers...
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Alexis
06/05/09

In reply to Star Trek's Absolute Worst Holodeck Adventures
Anything centering around Harry Kim in yawn inducing. All of those episodes are boatloads of suck, but the Enterprise one takes the cake. Wasn't that episode originally supposed to air in a previous season? Ugh. What a stupid idea it was to have a finale ep of Trek that technically doesn't even have the actual characters in it.
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somms
06/05/09

In reply to Star Trek's Absolute Worst Holodeck Adventures
I had no idea people out there didn't like Lt. JG Reginald Barclay. Maybe it wasn't very realistic that a man with so many neuroses (anti-social behavior, transporter phobia, hypochondria, no self confidence) would make it to Starfleet's flagship, but I always loved Dwight Schultz's performance and it was refreshing to see a less than perfect officer.

Also, he made Geordi look less like a loser in comparison.
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Astfgl
06/05/09

@somms: I always liked Reg, and it was nice to see a Starfleet officer who wasn't the picture of calm all the time (although that's a fair point about Geordi).

I did NOT like it when he turned into a spider and haunted my dreams for years to come.
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Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
06/05/09

@Astfgl: I too liked him except for the spider part. Guh. The rest of his ep's were good.
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Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H.
06/05/09

In reply to Star Trek's Absolute Worst Holodeck Adventures
How can you not like Barclay?! I mean not only is he a great character showing that not everyone in the Federation is some glowing example of heroic humanity, but he's also Murdock!!!
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Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
06/05/09

@Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H.: Amen. Kirk or Picard is the guy you'd hope to be in Starfleet, but Barclay is the guy you know you'd actually be.
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Matthew Weflen
06/05/09

In reply to Star Trek's Absolute Worst Holodeck Adventures
I have to disagree on "Fair Haven" and "Hollow Pursuits."

I agree that many holodeck episodes fall prey to either 1. the retarded malfunction which could be fixed by a big damn OFF switch; 2. the writers assuming we find the holodeck fantasy more interesting than the main plot.

But these two episodes show what the holodeck would actually be used for: having sex with realistic simulacra of people you know or find attractive.

"Fair Haven" does have the spatial logic issue you mentioned. But it's forgivable because the episode allows Capt. Janeway to finally get laid.

It seems as though your disdain for "Hollow Pursuits" is based on your dislike for the character. While Barclay's value is certainly debatable, what isn't is that this is a holodeck episode that doesn't have any serious logic issues or dumb storytelling tropes. The holodeck is used for exactly what it's suited to - creating fantasies in which you can fuck fellow crewmates without their knowledge, broken up by bouts of spanking Wesley.
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Steve Zagar
06/05/09

@Matthew Weflen: I would really hate to be the guy who mops up the Holodeck after use...
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TrueCrime
06/06/09

@Steve Zagar: @Steve Zagar: You mean Rom, right?
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jokono
06/05/09

In reply to Star Trek's Absolute Worst Holodeck Adventures
I always liked the episode where Barclay created the laser brain scan interface in the holodeck and then used it to take over the Enterprise. Sure, it had a lame ending, but it was fun to watch.

Ultimate faceoff: Borg (pre Voyager-lame Borg, that is) versus Sytherian-enhanced Reginald Barclay.
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EBone
06/05/09

@jokono: I like it. Draft up a storyline ASAP, ok?
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taxbaby
06/05/09

In reply to Star Trek's Absolute Worst Holodeck Adventures
For every one of those 'worst' moments you could substitute 'best'. And some guy on the internet would agree.
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Mike White
06/05/09

@taxbaby: Let's see that "best" list. Maybe the one with Geordi and that engineer babe but that's all I can think of.
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debo matar la zombi goldberry83
06/05/09

@Mike White: Dude, "Our Man Bashir"! Best use of the holodeck ever!
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cc82
03/31/09

In reply to What's Up, Doc? (Twenty of the Best Physicians in Science Fiction)
Glaring omissions:

Beverly Crusher

Dana Scully
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