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Five Ways to Hit on Aliens

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bookfoldbrewcineaste
11/12/08

In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
Annalee, I see all our talk about live-action tentacle porn back on the Galaxy of Terror thread has gotten your imaginative juices flowing, so to speak. If I can plant more kink in your subconscious, will you post about it?:-)
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Annalee Newitz
11/12/08

@bookfoldbrewcineaste: Honestly I don't know how you could possibly plant more kink in there. I had to start growing it in my conscious mind because my subconscious was totally full.
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bookfoldbrewcineaste
11/13/08

@bookfoldbrewcineaste: You obviously have not been keeping up with recent advances in kink technology. It's all hydroponics now. It takes up less subconscious space w/out sacrificing yield. If you were to make the switch, you could plant tentacle porn *and* alien abduction fantasies (including probes!) in the subconscious space that you're using *just* for tentacle porn right now.

Hydroponic Kink--Keeping the Dirt Out of Filth Since 2002
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Annalee Newitz
11/13/08

@bookfoldbrewcineaste: I'll try it! Sounds environmentally-friendly, too!
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Meirelle
11/12/08

In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
But make sure you do your research first. You never know what kind of peculiar mating habits those aliens will have.
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noncornbatant
11/12/08

In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
"always remember to hang out in giant nightclubs that are near highly-classified research facilities"

This makes perfect sense, except that sometimes I can't tell the difference between a highly-classified nightclub and a giant research facility.
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Annalee Newitz
11/12/08

@noncornbatant: Think of it this way. The club has naked people dangling from trapezes. The research facility has naked people in glass cages. See? It all makes sense now.
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Jonn
11/12/08

In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
I once thought that nothing good could come of Mr. Davies beating people over the head with his "teh gay is awesum!!11" philosophy. I am a big enough man to admit I was wrong.
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Alexis
11/12/08

In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
OK, I'm just gonna come out and say it.

There's something rather vulgar about Geena Davis' face.

I don't know what that something is, but it's dirty. All I know is that I covered it up when my boss walked by so he wouldn't think I was looking at vintage porn.
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Willtheconqueror
11/12/08

In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
So wait should I not False Disqualify, Throw Negs, or use Peacock theory?

I mean Mystery taught me all this stuff and I wanted to use it to get one of those perfect 10 aliens to plant their eggs in my stomach.
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BullfightsOnAcid
11/12/08

@Willtheconqueror: I heard The Matador has like 5 different alien embryos growing inside him. He's the man!
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bonniegrrl
11/12/08

In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
Dang, I was set until step #5!
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BullfightsOnAcid
11/12/08

In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
"Did it hurt? When you fell out of your spaceship?"

"Is that a parasitic sibling appendage sticking out from your body or are you just happy to see me?"

"You must be an angel... what's that? You are an angel... of death!
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russdanger
11/12/08

In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
Offer to let them gnaw off your head while they deposit their larvae into your body cavity.

And ask them if they've lost weight.
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B
11/12/08

@russdanger: You look malnourished, are you suffering from internal parasites?
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bonniegrrl
11/12/08

@russdanger: hahaha

"Does this host make me look fat?"
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NotArthurPDragon
11/12/08

In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
I much prefer "James T. Kirk's Guide To Macking The Universe."
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EBone
11/13/08

@NotArthurPDragon: Speak. In a. Very. Stepped. Manner. When telling. Alien Babe. In. Tinfoil bikini. About. Love. On Earth.
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Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H.
11/12/08

In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
I'm usually just polite and listen to them. I try and understand that it's difficult being in a new place and that sometimes all an Alien needs is some one not doing the full court press.

If that doesn't work I threaten to call MiB.
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dirtybacon
11/13/08

@Grrsn Dn: I've tried that, but they just keep going on and on about their mothers.
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goldfarb
11/12/08

In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
thanks for the tips...but I don't think I'll need them...I think that stripper in Alien Nation really liked me!
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BcBeBop
11/12/08

In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
Massive Effect? Really, UI8.com, that's just shabby.
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Annalee Newitz
11/12/08

@BcBeBop: I was like what are you talking about until I realized it was in the tags. Fixed now.
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ggodo, the man from R.O.A.C.H.
11/12/08

In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
MASSIVE EFFECT!
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Annalee Newitz
11/12/08

@ggodo: Dude what!!!!
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crashedpc - Haifisch
11/12/08

@Annalee Newitz: Hurr.... that's a pickup line... you have a "massive effect" on me.. hurr...
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Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip!
11/12/08

@Annalee Newitz:

Possibly he was going to correct you. The name of the game is Mass Effect.

It's a nitpick though. Everybody knows what game you are talking about.
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Annalee Newitz
11/12/08

@Belabras: Sorry -- as I mentioned below, I didn't realize it was in the tags as "massive effect." Fixed!
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Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip!
11/12/08

@Annalee Newitz:

Don't hate me. You've got 'Massive Effect' in the movie description as well.
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Annalee Newitz
11/12/08

@Belabras: I don't see it . . . have you tried clearing cache? I fixed it in the description right after it went up.
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ManchuCandidate
11/12/08

In reply to Five Ways to Hit on Aliens
Sounds good, but what about all that alien tendency to eat human flesh and/or cause painful death during sex?
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Annalee Newitz
11/12/08

@ManchuCandidate: We just help with picking up -- you're on your own after that.
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dirtybacon
11/13/08

@ManchuCandidate: I'm pretty sure Fleshbot has that part covered.
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