@Smeagol92055: Points 1 and 2 are quite easily achieved and are laudable. Point 3, however, seems to be the part where the true Koontz essence, the Koontzence, if you will, comes through.
Horror author/actor Michael Boatman topped this in last year's the Revenant Road. In it Obadiah Grunge, best-selling author and monster-hunter, is chased by an army of homicidal book critics. Boatman isn't as "great" a writer as Koontz, *snorfle!* but splatterpunk fans will certainly get a kick out of his work.
The scene where a knife-wielding critic runs across Times Square at Grunge screaming, "DIEEEEE!" is hysterical.
Remember Lady in the Water? The evil critic got mauled. If a student did this in a writing class they'd get chewed out like no other. What is Koontz/Shyamalan's excuse?
I also (loosely) remember the prize quote from the film "How can any individual begin to judge another person's work?"
@Mathmos: I'd do it but I have a couple of authors tied up in my basement right now. I have to wait for the new band saw and make sure they don't escape.
@Annalee Newitz: Actually it would still be a beowulf cluster. Aside from very technical issues, there is no serious scaling limit on beowulf cluster managment software.
It's really too bad that these things take so long to happen in reality, we'll never get to properly watch what happens. With that in mind, I wonder how the scientists determine how accurate their models are?
@Skunky: Obviously I am not a physicist, but I do know that these kinds of explosions are modeled on massively parallel computer clusters, and take into account many different variables - everything from the behavior of gas, to the gravitational fields of enormous bodies interacting with each other. Some of the data used comes from what we know of observing nuclear explosions on Earth.
@Annalee Newitz: You know, I love what I do for a living, but I can't help but be jealous of anyone who's job responsibilities include 'observing nuclear explosions.'
I do hope you're right, it sounds very reasonable, the more that's included in the model, the safer it is to assume accuracy. I'm sure observations of our own Sun with tools like STEREO has helped too, to some degree.
@Skunky: Those same supercomputers are used to simulate nuclear explosions. They are so accurate now, that our country, Russia and other nations use them instead of doing below ground testing. They trust them enough to use them to design new weapons without any real world testing.
@corpore-metal: Just imagine if the calculations are wrong! WWIII breaks out, someone hits the big, red, candy-like button and lobs a nuke. Missile homes in on it's target, a bright flash, and suddenly on the horizon there's half a locked-up mushroom cloud that fades into some wild pixelization and a kernel panic message.
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*Sorry, I'll go take my meds now. But really, give The Odd Thomas books a try. they're quite good....
yo.
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1. precocious child that considers itself an alien/mutant
2. smart dog, usually golden retriever.
3. other bullshit.
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Couldn't be worse that Cumming.
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"Koontzence, the new fragrance from Dean Koontz: Now comes in convenient shake before using bottle."
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It's one thing to deal with critics, but it sounds more like that Dean's skin is a little too thin to deal with a world full of knives.
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The scene where a knife-wielding critic runs across Times Square at Grunge screaming, "DIEEEEE!" is hysterical.
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I also (loosely) remember the prize quote from the film "How can any individual begin to judge another person's work?"
Ugh.
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ba-zing!
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When I was 9.
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Linux rules.
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I do hope you're right, it sounds very reasonable, the more that's included in the model, the safer it is to assume accuracy. I'm sure observations of our own Sun with tools like STEREO has helped too, to some degree.
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