Monday

It's another fantastic episode of The Middleman tonight at 10 PM on ABC Family. We showed you an exclusive clip from this episode the other day, and we're excited to see the whole thing. This is the episode we've all been waiting for — the one where the Middleman takes Wendy's roommate Lacey out on a date. Finally, all that unresolved sexual tension will be resolved! Note that I didn't say "happily resolved." Also, there's a "cursed tuba" from the Titanic. And yes, that does sound a bit goofy.

Tuesday

Eureka is back! Tonight's season opener introduces a new character — Eva Thorne (Frances Fisher), who comes in as a corporate efficiency expert, sent to improve the profitability of Global Dynamics. In the process, we may learn more about why that company is the source of so much of the chaos in the town of Eureka. That's on Sci Fi at 9 PM. And you can prepare for the new Eureka hotness by watching (or TiVoing) a Eureka marathon, all day during the day on Sci Fi. And here's a trailer:

Also at 9 PM on your local PBS station (maybe), there's a Nova episode that appears to be new. It's about the "Car Of The Future," and it's hosted by the Car Talk guys, who are so much more enjoyable when they're not animated. They delve into alternative fuel sources, including biodiesel, hydrogen fuel cells and electricity.

Movies: AMC busts out with three classic (but oft-shown) scifi movies in a row: Escape From New York at 6 PM, TimeCop at 8, and Species at 10. AMC has also been showing the Planet Of The Apes movies a lot, but now it's showing a bunch of them all at once. Today, it's Escape at midnight and Conquest at 2 AM, followed by the 1966 Batman at 3:30 AM. Also, Sci Fi is showing She Creature, starring Rufus Sewell, at 3 AM. Dude! Rufus and the She Creature. How can it fail?

Wednesday

There's a new MonsterQuest on the History Channel, focusing on the "Legend Of The Hairy Beast." I think I ran into that guy at Comic-Con. Here's the deets:

Native American history is full of "Hairy Man" stories and cave art that date back over a thousand years. Did Native Americans know the truth behind the Bigfoot legend? An expedition along the Klamath River into reservation land will use state of the art technology to search for something locals don't doubt is real. With unprecedented access to Native American stories and recent sightings, MonsterQuest examines this creature that is both feared and revered.

Or if you want something a bit more serious, PBS has a new Nova ScienceNOW around the same time:

Explore new discoveries about brain trauma, watch a tribute to the late "cancer warrior" Judah Folkman, follow the Phoenix mission to Mars, and delve into a mystery of truly mammoth proportions.

Maybe it's not quite as rocking as a Eureka marathon, but today Sci Fi is showing episodes of Dark Angel all day.

Movies: The AMC Apes marathon continues with the original Planet at 11:30 AM and Beneath at 2 PM.

Thursday

The horror anthology show Fear Itself returns with "Skin And Bones," directed by Larry Fessenden. There's basically one reason to watch this episode: it stars Doug Jones, from Hellboy and a million other great movies. And here's the skinny:

When a cattle herder returns to his farm after being lost in the woods for days, he just doesn't seem the same. Soon, we realize that he is in fact possessed by a terrifying monster, forcing his family to kill their own husband and father in order to save themselves!

Today and tomorrow, Sci Fi is showing an Outer Limits marathon.

Movies: TCM has They Came From Beyond Space at 2 PM.

Friday

It's the end of Doctor Who season four. Everything has been leading up to this! And I'm not just talking about everything this season, or even just everything on Doctor Who. Everything, from the Big Bang to the Profumo Scandal to the invention of the Segway, has been leading up to this episode. All of your questions — about everything in the universe — will be answered. Note the earlier start time: Because it takes a little more time to answer all of your questions about everything, the episode is 90 minutes long with commercials, and starts at 8:30 on Sci FI. Oh, and here's a clip:

And then at 10 PM, there's a new Stargate Atlantis, also on Sci Fi. It's the "Daedalus Variations," where the team is trapped in an alternate reality they never made. And here's a preview:

And just a reminder that Sci Fi is showing Outer Limits episodes all day today.

Movies: Is The Fog science fiction? It stars Tom Welling, and it's about deadly fog, or foggy dead. Or something. Anyway, it's on the CW at 8 PM. And IFC has Cube at 9 PM.

Saturday

Movies: USA has M. Night Shyamalan's Unbreakable at 3 PM, a reminder of a time when that movie's title could be used to describe Shyamalan's winning streak. Also, did you like Aaron Eckhart in The Dark Knight? Then experience him in the criminally underrated The Core, a fluffy but fun adventure yarn about drilling to the center of the Earth, on FX at 5 PM. That's followed at 8 by the just-plain-criminal Fantastic Four, also on FX. TBS has the bizarrely entertaining Doom at 10:30, followed by the original Predator at 12:30 AM.

Sunday

There's another new Venture Bros. on the Cartoon Network at 11:30, called "The Lepidopteriot." As usual, very little info is available about the episode in advance, except for the intriguing title. And then there's a new Metalocalypse at midnight: "Snakes & Barrels" (part 1 of 2): "Pickles finds out that Snakes 'n' Barrels reunited and are promoting sobriety at their shows."

Also, it looks like the TV Guide Channel is running a documentary about Comic-Con, touring the con's exhibitions and events, at various times during the day today.

Tonight

As usual, the week's TV highlight is a new episode of superhero show The Middleman, at its new time of 10 PM on ABC Family. This time around, the Middleman's sidekick Wendy is supposed to learn fighting from Sensei Ping, but he's kidnapped by a band of Mexican Wrestlers — who also get their hands on the Middleman himself. If you like fun, then I highly recommend The Middleman — I had high hopes for the series, but it's actually surpassed them, mostly thanks to Natalie Morales' engaging performance and the incredibly high-density clever scripts. But don't take my word for it, here's what Henry Jenkins has to say. He's a professor, after all:

The scripts for the series, not to mention the comics, are full of one laugh out loud one-liner after another, most of them playing on precise and pithy references to popular culture: I haven't seen a script this dense with injokes since early Joss Whedon... The performances consistently live up to the quality of the script: everyone gets a few memorable lines and moments in the spotlight in the opening episode and I can't wait to see where the characters go from here.

And here's a trailer for the new episode:

Also tonight, Spike is showing Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Clones. The six Star Wars films are appearing almost every night on Spike this week, so if you missed their earlier showings, you can stop panicking and start watching the rise and fall of Anakin.

And at 3 AM (!!) the Sci Fi Channel is showing a new (to Americans) episode of dimension-shifting noir show Charlie Jade. Charlie Jade thinks that 01 Boxer, the dimension-jumping psycho, killed Elliott Krogg, who's become the scapegoat for a bombing that killed a lot of people. Meanwhile, back in Charlie's dystopian home dimension, Jasmin is grappling with the fact that a woman of her social rank is not supposed to be self-sufficient, and she has to decide whether to use sexual favors to survive.

At almost the same time Tuesday morning (3:15), Cinemax is showing My Super Ex-Girlfriend, to get you in the mood for Hancock. Marvel at Hollywood's cluelessness, and maybe get a few chuckles out of an airborne Uma Thurman.

Tuesday

The ever-reliable History Channel is serving up yet another dose of paranoia and mega-science, with a new episode of Mega Disasters at 10 PM. It's about "airborne attack," and it may make you want to wear a breathing mask if you live in the city. Here's the description:

Anthrax is the most feared of all the biological weapons—spores entering the body through the lungs are lethal. In 2001, a simple letter, sent through the US mail, paralyzed a nation, when anthrax spores were found inside. Experts predict that anthrax released over a populated area would result in unprecedented loss of life—a few pounds of anthrax released under the right conditions could kill hundreds of thousands of people. Will anthrax be used to create a worldwide disaster?

There's also a rerun of The Universe, focusing on the moon, at 8 PM.

AMC is showing the Don Knotts space comedy, The Reluctant Astronaut, at 3:45. Here's a giant chunk of that movie:

Wednesday

Tonight it's the battle of the science programs! Two different shows are airing at 9 PM — will you watch the respectable, highbrow science of Nova ScienceNow on PBS? Or a new MonsterQuest on History, focusing on "Super Rats"? Well, let's see... Nova ScienceNow includes segments on personal DNA testing, pulling excess carbon out of the atmosphere, which are sort of hot-button topics right now. On the other hand, MonsterQuest has evidence that rats used to be huge — and these massive, cat-sized rats are making a comeback. And they have an appetite for anything... even human flesh!!

Hmmm... serious science. Or cat-sized people-eating rats. What will it be? Does this sample of Nova ScienceNow help?

Another scheduling smackdown: FX is showing I, Robot (the Will Smith movie) at 5:30, and TMC has Starman, the movie about a widow and an alien on the run, at 6:30. Somehow, I'm not guessing that's much of a dilemma, for anyone who gets TMC.

Thursday

Tonight at 10 PM, there's a new episode of horror anthology series Fear Itself: "Eater," directed by Stuart Gordon. (Director of everything from Robot Jox to Reanimator.) In "Eater," a rookie cop has to watch over a serial killer called the "Eater," but her fellow cops start acting weird and she realizes nobody is whom they seem. (This website says "Eater" already appeared June 5, but the TV listings and IMDB both say it's a new episode as of this Thursday.)

The Sci Fi Channel is showing episodes of the classic Twilight Zone all day today and tomorrow. I wonder if they'll show that one with the twist ending? And the aliens?

We've talked a lot about how much we love C.S.A.: Confederate States of America, the alternate history movie about a world where the South won the Civil War. It's a wicked satire, but also a sharp-edged mirror on our real world, because it shows how different its alternate world isn't in many ways. And now you can check it out for yourself, on IFC at 7:45.

After showing the first two Planet Of The Apes movies a bunch lately, AMC is finally showing a different one, Escape From The Planet Of The Apes. Unfortunately, it's at 5 AM. Get up early and psych yourself up for work with some ape-action.

At 12:10 Friday morning, Encore has 12 Monkeys, Terry Gilliam's weird time-traveling plague movie starring Brad Pitt and Bruce Willis. I'm probably the only person who didn't like this movie — I found it a little too precious, and felt like it was an inferior remake of Gilliam's Brazil. But maybe I'll take this chance to watch it again and see if I was too harsh. And your chance to watch it again and remind yourselves how wrong I am.

And then at 12:30 AM Friday, Cinemax has Alien Sex Files: Aliens Gone Wild. Here's the plot description: "Lusty extraterrestrials explore human sexuality." It doesn't actually mention anal probes at all. Also, the HBO page says the movie features "gorgeous, sex-starved aliens" who cause an "explosion of erotic activity."

And at 3 AM, TCM is showing the 1941 version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. See where the Hulk came from, and brace yourself for some classic 1940s science horror. Or you could just hold out for an hour and watch Mortal Kombat on TNT at 4 AM.

Friday

Tonight at 7 PM, ION Television has Gadgetman, starring Marina Sirtis from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Admit it, you wondered what she'd been up to apart from the Trek movies and occasional Voyager cameos. And just look at this great synopsis: "When a gadget-inventing professor is kidnapped for his latest invention, a wallet computer, his son enlists the help of a detective who is not all she appears to be." Marina probably shows whole new facets of her personality here. Or you could just watch The Fantastic Four and Spider-Man 2, back to back on FX.

Also, the Sci Fi Channel has more Twilight Zone all day today, plus all evening until midnight. Clear lots and lots of space on that TiVo, and then cancel those weekend plans.

Continuing its excursion into the later Apes movies, AMC is showing Battle For The Planet Of The Apes, at 9 AM.

Saturday

At 10:30 AM on Cartoon Network, there's a new Transformers: Animated, the first half of a two-parter called "A Bridge Too Close."

In his plan to take over Cybertron, Megatron captures Bulkhead. The Autobots plan a rescue party and discover that the Blue Racecar is actually an Autobot called Blurr.

And here's a chunk of the episode, complete with a funny Decepticon initiation ceremony:

Also, Encore has the underrated RoboCop 2 at 10:50, followed by Stargate, the movie that launched a huge TV franchise, at 1 PM and 10 PM. And Sci Fi is showing Resident Evil at 5 and Resident Evil: Apocalypse at 7.

Sunday

We'll never get Robert Rodriguez's version of Barbarella, but at least you can watch his movie The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lava Girl today at noon on the Disney Channel, and you can try and picture Rose McGowan in silver lame kinky boots in the middle of all that. Rodriguez collaborated with his kids to create this superhero fantasy, which is supposed to be one of the worst movies ever, but I've never seen it. Maybe it's only really in the bottom 20 percent.

There's another new Venture Bros. tonight at 11:30, called "What Goes Down, Must Come Up," but no other info is available. And then at midnight there's a new Metalocalypse, called "Dethsources." Those are both part of Cartoon Network's Adult Swim lineup.