io9: first contact

Why Haven't Alien Intelligences Contacted Us Yet?

Charlie Jane Anders — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 12:57:00 PDT

Experts say any spacefaring alien races we meet must be vastly more advanced than we are. That's because the odds of an alien race, within a reasonable traveling distance, developing spaceflight at the exact same moment as humanity are virtually nil. So any other space-traveling cultures in our patch of the galaxy could well have the technology to come to us. So why haven't they shown up yet? Vote for your favorite explantion.

Man Of Two Worlds cover from Gems From The Collection.

Let's Put Our Worst Foot Forward With Alien Intelligences

Charlie Jane Anders — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 17:00:00 PDT

Want to make a good impression on extraterrestrial civilization we encounter? The best bet is to showcase our dark side — our foibles, our mistakes and even our most horrifying aspects, says Douglas Vakoch, director of message for the SETI (Search for Extra Terrestrial Intelligence) Institute. It's too bad the Voyager spacecraft only contained Pollyanna-ish messages about our lovely aspects, and our propensity for cooperation, because any advanced spacefaring races we come across will probably just think we're not just primitives, but lacking in self-awareness.

Says Vakoch:

Might not such an attempt to put the best face on our current situation unintentionally reveal a potentially far more dangerous fault of humankind: a tendency to hide from our own problems and to avoid these threats to our very existence?

Here's the crux of Vakoch's argument, as far as I understand it: any interstellar society we encounter is likely to be much, much more advanced than us. After all, the chances of two cultures developing the ability to communicate across interstellar distances in the same part of the galaxy within the same historical moment are infinitessimal. So the aliens will either have been spacefaring for longer than us, or else their space-going era will already have ended — in which case we won't meet them.

So let's assume that a more advanced race, technologically, will also be more advanced in its cultural development. In that case, we'll be like messy, screamy, food-flinging, barfy children to these space demigods. And the most valuable contribution we could make to the interchange would be to remind our new friends of what it's like to be more primitive and id-driven. In any case, if we try to sweep our wars, our environmental destruction and our general crazoid behavior under the celestial rug, they'll probably be able to figure it out and we'll just look like idiots. Our best bet is just to emphasize everything bad about ourselves when we first meet other intelligences, so they'll know what they're in for.

Actually, Vakoch's argument veers sharply towards the end, and he starts talking about how acknowledging our "Shadow" (in the Jungian sense) is just good for us generally, and how we should just own up to our worse natures because it would be therapeutic and healthy. So maybe he's actually got some other agenda, and he's one of those Jungian infiltrators you hear about. [Space.com]

False Advertising In Star Trek Movie Posters: A Complete History

Kevin Kelly — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:38:00 PDT

Movie posters used to be simple and dignified, until marketing departments realized that the more sensational the poster, the more ticket-buyers. It's like the cover of a comic book: You might see an image of Batman riddled with bullets and dead, but that never takes place in the actual story itself. Star Trek has been one of the guiltiest parties in sensationalizing its posters with odd artwork and strange taglines (perhaps second only to the James Bond movie posters), and we've collected them for you all in one spot in the list below.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture - Okay, it's not false advertising to call it a motion picture, is it? There were indeed pictures in motion in this movie. But, this was part of the trend of calling things "The Movie" or "The Motion Picture." Did marketing people think they needed a title like this so as not to confuse people? Just ask the folks behind Superman: The Movie.The problem with this poster, other than featuring a triumvirate of Kirk, Spock, and the bald chick from the movie is the tagling "The Human Adventure Is Just Beginning." How is that true? Did we think it had come to an end?
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan - No problems with the title, Khan did have a lot of wrath. No, our problem is with the whole "At the end of the universe lies the beginning of vengeance" line. How were they at the end of the universe? Plus, the poster shows the Enterprise firing on the Regula I space station, what the hell is up with that? "To hell with science, Spock! Blow that research station to pieces!"
Star Trek III: The Search For Spock - The tagline for this poster is "Join The Search." Uh, how do we do that? By buying a movie ticket? Actually, our main problem with this movie is the title. When did they go searching for Spock? They put the guy's dead body into a torpedo tube and shot it onto the newly formed Genesis planet, for the love of god. They kind of knew where he was. Granted, they later find the tube empty, but it's not like there was a massive galaxy-wide search for him.
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home - Just look at this artwork... is that supposed to be Captain Kirk or Chekov right next to Spock? Plus, did Spock decide to go extra-heavy on the eyeliner that day? Plus, check out the text on the seldom seen Australian version of the poster: "They traveled back where 23rd century man had never gone before, to a more crazy, outrageous time: 1986." Yeah, you know, the Dark Ages had nothing on 1986.
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier - Check this out "On June 9, Adventure And Imagination Will Meet At The Final Frontier." Really? How did that end up happening? Unless by "imagination" they meant horrible directing, acting, and writing. Ouch. Now, just when you thought things couldn't get worse for this movie... have you seen the teaser poster? It says "Why Are They Putting Seatbelts In Theaters This Summer?" Yes, because of Star Trek V. It's almost been 20 years, but we still want our money back. Maybe even more so, now.
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country - "The Battle For Peace Has Begun," was it really a battle for peace? You could probably argue that it was. However, we only remember the Bird of Prey firing shots at the Enterprise, not the Battlecruiser. Maybe they needed something to spice it up a bit. We think General Chang's ominous eyepatch was probably enough. Why overdo it?
Star Trek Generations - Granted, it's hard to find a problem with this poster. "Boldly Go" ain't a bad tagline, so what are we supposed to say? "Um... the Enterprise never flew through a giant Starfleet symbol!" Although on the alternate poster the "Two Captains. One Destiny" line is a bit odd. What was that shared destiny, exactly?
Star Trek: First Contact - It's hard to figure out why the artists on these posters always make it seem like the faces are beaming in. Ever since Star Trek: The Motion Picture, it's like they have to be depicted as teleporting onto the poster itself. Bizarre. Anyhow, this poster features the Enterprise racing away from an army of Borg... and into the teleporting faces. Plus, is the Borg Queen winking at us? We're just not sure what's going on here, although resistance was definitely not futile.
Star Trek: Insurrection - The problem with the tagline on this poster ("The Battle For Paradise Has Begun") is that it's a direct ripoff of the one for The Undiscovered Country ("The Battle For Peace Has Begun"), which was only two movies prior. Did they just phone it in that day? Other than that, we actually kind of like Adhar's craggy face staring down at the Enterprise. It's just too bad the movie was a bit of a letdown.
Star Trek: Nemesis - Someone please explain to us how "A Generation's Final Journey Begins" works out here. Do they mean the Remans? The crew of the Enterprise who is beginning to go their separate ways? Picard, since he never had a son? Maybe all of the above... or maybe they meant people who would pay to go see more of these, yikes. The marketing people sure loved to have these posters signifying the beginning of something.
Star Trek - J.J. Abrams' film has had several teaser posters put out so far, with some of them even claiming "Stardate 12.25.08" at the bottom. However, now that it's been bumped to the Summer of 2009, those have all become a paper trail of false advertisements. It's gotten to the point that we've stopped trusting the posters altogether. What's next? Trailers that lie to us as well? Oh... wait.

How Could We Talk To Alien Life Forms?

charliejane — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 08:20:34 PST

Chances are when alien visitors show up, they won't speak any language we can recognize. We'll be lucky if they have recognizable music, like the aliens in Mary Doria Russell's The Sparrow. They may not have eyes or ears, as we understand them. So how can we prove to our first contacts that we're smart enough to talk to — let alone actually talk to them? Vote for your preferred method of dialogue!

Terminator, The Queen Borg In The Shell Chronicles

Kevin Kelly — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 08:40:17 PST

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles starts its two-night premiere next Sunday, and you may have seen some of the new posters promoting the show, including with one with a topless (and bottomless) Summer Glau hanging from cables with all of her, uh... cybernetics exposed. But it turns out the old android babe with wires dangling from her severed torso isn't exactly a new image in science fiction. We've found at least four others. Take a look below and see for yourself (including mildly NSFW images.)

First of all, let's turn to the historical similarities. Back in 1986, Francis Ford Coppolla directed (and George Lucas executive produced) Disney's Captain EO, which was turned into an attraction at Disneyland, Disneyworld's Epcot Center, and later at Tokyo Disneyland and Disneyland Paris. Michael Jackson starred as EO, and Anjelica Huston played the evil Supreme Leader who was a horrific cybernetic queen who lived in a giant rat's nest of tentacles and cables. EO sang her a song and turned her pretty multiple times every day before fading away in 1998.
In 1989, Masamune Shirow's famous Ghost in the Shell manga started appearing in Japan. As Major Motoko begins following the trail of the mysterious "Puppeteer," they eventually capture one of the cybernetic bodies that he/she has "ghost hacked" into. Just before falling into government hands, the body had thrown itself in front of a bus, which didn't leave her body fully intact. No arms, no lower torso, and a dangling spinal column. Oh, and no clothes, either.
Mamoru Oshii directed the animated version of Ghost in the Shell in 1995, giving us a better look at the now-named "Puppet Master," who looks much like he/she did in the manga, except without that scowling countenance. Maybe getting some color and a little animation did wonders for his/her complexion. Plus they still haven't managed to find a halter top or anything.
When Star Trek's Data met the Borg Queen in Star Trek: First Contact in 1996, she looked a lot like a combination of both the Ghost in the Shell puppet-body, and the evil queen from Captain EO. Although she had a much splotchier complexion and didn't look so good once all of the skin got burned off her face, but she was cybernetically sexy as she got lowered into her sleek body. Plus, Data got a little Borg action from her, so she couldn't have been all bad.
Of course, it's hard to look at any of these ladies without comparing them to the Venus de Milo. While she may have her lower torso intact and her spinal column tucked away nicely, she's still armless and mysterious. Plus she's locked away in the Louvre behind that giant glass pyramid and the Da Vinci code, so who knows what secrets the 2000 year old statue is keeping. She might be the mother of all Terminators, for all we know.

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