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Posts Tagged “Flash Gordon Recap”

flash gordon recap

Ice Worms, Bondage, and Ass-Grabbing on Flash Gordon

Poor Flash and his pals are in quite a pickle. The evil usurper who rules Frigia has chained them up to die a painful death in the jaws of the bone-grinding ice worm. Luckily, a cool lady fighter with awesome steampunk goggles rescues them, but not until after she grabs Flash's ass and calls him Blondie. You think I'm joking, but it's true. Spoilers ahead. More »

flash gordon recap

Flash and Aura Get Slimy to Fight a Tentacle

I definitely fought one of these angry tentacle trees in the "Expedition to the Barrier Peaks" AD&D module, but I didn't receive any aid from nubile ladies like Aura. In this clip, some weird extraneous plot device compels Aura to strip down to her red corset and short shorts, cover herself in oil (!!!), and rescue Flash from the aforementioned tentacle tree. This is a perfect distillation of everything that makes the SciFi Channel's Flash Gordon great: teensy red costumes, flailing enemies made of rubber, shouted dialog, and at least one extremely toothy monster that literally goes, "Roooorrrww!" Spoilers ahead, weirdos. More »

flash gordon recap

Ming the Micromanager

On SciFi Channel's Flash Gordon last Friday, we were all once again reminded why today's Ming is not as scary nor as campily compelling as Mings of yore. This scene encapsulates everything problematic about today's Ming. He slurps wine instead of growling; he has no awesome makeup nor a funny hat; and instead of punishing Aura with a mind ray he turns her into . . . a Prefect. WTF? Assigning out bureaucratic jobs is supposed to be his big weapon, his big power move? No wonder they call him Ming the Micromanager instead of Ming the Merciless. More »

flash gordon recap

A Tender Moment with a Deviate, Plus Mouth Acting

You knew it would happen after I defended Flash Gordon on Friday. Yes, I watched the new episode that night and now I've got one of the highlights here for you to watch, just so you don't have to endure the whole thing. I could have chosen the scene where a scientist dominatrix lady from Mongo used a brain implant to control the seratonin of an Earth dude and make him her slave. But that was actually too boring. So I picked this great scene, where Ming's daughter Princess Aura falls for the oppressed Deviate revolutionary who kidnapped her. Things to pay attention to: the AMAZING dialog ("Stand with me against this injustice!"), Aura's eyeshadow (OMG), and Flash's mouth acting. I swear they ripped this scene off from Rocky Horror Picture Show. Or maybe Star Wars?

flash gordon recap

You Just Don't Understand Women Possessed by Alien Witches

So I am always having this problem where I use a rift generator to visit Mongo, and when I'm there witches try to steal my body because I'm so hot. I always wiggle out of it but Dale wasn't so lucky in Friday night's episode. Flash's former flame gets possessed by an alien witch who basically just wants to dress up in pink outfits and shiny ankle boots. The plot unfurls from there like a loosely-packed roll of toilet paper. More »