Awesome Decorations To Bring The Nerd Cred

Awful Crap. Who Came Up With This? Coal For Everybody.

Researchers at Eindhoven University, backed by funding from a sausage manufacturer and the Dutch government, have grown pork from cells harvested from a live pig. Although meat from goldfish has been grown from a lab, this is the first time mammal meat has been grown in-vitro.

The researchers harvested myoblasts from the muscles of a live pig. These cells are programmed to repair damage and grow into muscle, and the team was able to culture a mass of muscle cells by incubating the myoblasts in a nutrient-rich "broth." The resulting meat is a bit soggy, and needs exercise to be as tough as the meat that comes from a once-living animal, but the team is looking for ways to "train" the meat and improve its texture. They are also looking to create a synthetic version of the incubation broth, which is current made from the blood products of animal fetuses.

Laboratory rules prevent anyone from actually tasting the meat, so we don't yet known how the flavor of soggy, lab-grown meat compares to that grown on pigs. But the researchers believe that in-vitro meats could be available to consumers in as little as five years. Cue the references to Arthur C. Clarke's story "The Food of the Gods."

But at least real science has nearly caught up to Veridian Dynamics:

Scientists grow pork meat in a laboratory [Times Online]

Please add your favorite food-related gross-out in the comments too!

Granted, not all of these foods will actually devour you; some will simply kill you or turn you into their zombie slave. But all are best approached with caution, and should only be handled by chefs with combat training.

Killer Tomatoes (Attack of the Killer Tomatoes): After years of being made into ketchup and mistaken for vegetables, the tomatoes get their revenge, and a killer theme song.

The Stuff (The Stuff): It's not clear what would possess a man to taste a slimy substance he found out in the woods, but it turns out the Stuff is delicious, addictive, and contains no calories. It also turns out that the Stuff is alive, and it chews on your brain until you've transformed into a nice, pliable zombie.

Bubble Shock! (The Sarah Jane Adventures "Invasion of the Bane"): Another zombifying substance is Bubble Shock!, a fizzy organic beverage. But it's actually an alien life form, one that turns drinkers into slaves of Mother Bane. While it doesn't have quite the brain-mushing powers of the Stuff, Bubble Shock! has a viral quality, with Bane zombies offering the beverage to anyone who hasn't tried it.

Popplers (Futurama "The Problem with Popplers"): Another mysterious foodstuff found lying on the ground, popplers are incredibly delicious nuggets of meaty goodness. There are just two problems: first, popplers are intelligent; second, they're the juvenile form of the ornery Omicronians, and Lrrr, the Omicronian ruler, thinks it's only fair that he should get to eat a human to set things right.

The Blue Plate Special (Spaceballs): Poor John Hurt. When he tried to enjoy a meal in Alien, he had a chestburster pop right out of him. Then he sits down for the blue plate special at a diner in Spaceballs and meets with the same fate.

Curry Monster (Red Dwarf "DNA"): In a typically boneheaded move, the crew of the Red Dwarf test a DNA modifier on a container of vindaloo, creating a monster that's half man, half Indian takeaway.

Killer Pizzas (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Case of the Killer Pizzas"): The pizza-loving foursome find that sometimes their favorite food can get a case of the munchies. An alien species from Dimension X lays eggs that happen to look like meatballs, and they manage to land on a handful of pizzas. Pop your pizza in the microwave, and those little critters hatch mean and hungry.

TMNT - Case of the killer pizzas

Wolfbullet | MySpace Video

Pizza the Hut (Spaceballs): He's delicious enough that he ate himself to death, but woe unto those who cross this cheesy gangster. They'll learn what it's like to have Pizza send out for you.

Bezoar Eggs (Buffy the Vampire Slayer "Bad Eggs"): When Buffy and the crew are given eggs to babysit as a class assignment, it seems like a minor nuisance. But it turns out those aren't chicken eggs they're faux parenting; they actually hatch bezoars, little parasites that attach to your brain stem (and, like all good parasites, render you their zombie slave). And Xander gets a nasty surprise when he hardboils his egg son and decides to enjoy a mid-afternoon snack.

Evil Gingerbread Men (The Tick, The Gingerdead Man): Be they the product of an eager baker or possessed by the spirit of a serial killer, these confections can be downright deadly. You'd imagine, though, that milk would be a major weakness.

Werewolf (Angel "Unleashed"): Werewolf is considered a delicacy among certain sadistic members of the Los Angeles elite. Unfortunately, werewolves tend to revert to their human form once they're killed, so they have to be served alive while the meat is carved off. But if the werewolf isn't properly restrained, you could end up on the menu.

Wub ("Beyond Lies the Wub" by Philip K. Dick): Again, it's rarely a smart idea to eat a species you happen to find just hanging out on another planet, especially if it's capable of literary discussions. The pig-like wub will let you eat it, but there's a hefty price; the wub will completely take over your body, essentially booting out your soul through your stomach.

Martian Water (Doctor Who "The Waters of Mars"): Actually, you don't even need to drink water containing the Flood to contract its zombifying contagion — just touching it will do the trick. Still, drinking the water is ill-advised.

Kandy Man (Doctor Who "The Happiness Patrol"): The good news is that this licorice-based robot won't actually devour you. The bad news is that, if you aren't visibly happy at all times, it will kill you — likely by drowning you in super sugary fondant.

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man (Ghostbusters): Sure, Stay Puft nearly demolished the entire island of Manhattan in the service of Gozer. But that toasted marshmallow glop that dropped on the Ghostbusters at the end of the move looked mighty tasty.

Ebola Cola (Transmetropolitan): As the slogan goes, "You Drink It, It Eats You."

Aqua Teen Hunger Force (Aqua Teen Hunger Force): A mutated meatball, milkshake, and carton of french fries, the Aqua Teens get into all sorts of mayhem, which often gets various creatures (and occasionally Maser Shake) killed. I probably wouldn't put eating the remains past them either, given the right situation.

Triffids (Day of the Triffids): Triffids have a lot going for them. They're a great source of vegetable oil (making them valuable crops), and they can fight off any potential predators with their venomous whips. Plus, they love to feed on rotting meat, which is easy to obtain once most of humanity has been struck blind.

Tom Turkey (The Simpsons "Treehouse of Horror XIX"): Since it's Thanksgiving week, this musket-wielding bird will cap off our list. After rescuing the children of Springfield from the murderous Grand Pumpkin, Tom Turkey gets invited to Thanksgiving dinner. But once he learns what people eat on Thanksgiving, he starts gobble-gobbling up the children himself.

The restaurant in question was Marvel Mania, a short-lived (February 1998 through September 1999) eatery that proudly announced "Absolutely NO broccoli, spinach or squash on this menu!". Comic Book Resources.com's Jonah Weiland found his copy menu in a closet, launching him into a collection of alcoholic memories:

Truly the best part of the restaurant was the bar, which had a great selection of martinis. Where the restaurant itself was geared towards families with super bright colors and massive murals featuring Marvel's greatest heroes, the bar area was dimly lit mostly with black lights and the walls were covered with Marvel's most dastardly villains. The bar was truly a very cool place to visit if you were a comic fan and if I recall correctly, Los Angeles' alt-weekly newspaper LA Weekly named it one of the Ten Best Bars in town the year it opened. Or best bar for martinis. It was the best of something, I know that much. The "Monstrous Martini's" had names like "Negative Zone," "Asgard" and "Savage Land." There were also alcoholic beverages served under headings like "Curious Concotions" with drinks called "Journey Into Mystery" and "Dead of Night" or the "Web-Shooters" which were served in a small souvenir take-home beaker. Drinks like "Clobberin' Time," "Gamma Slamma" or the "Dimension Distorter" could be ordered.

We have to admit, we may be more taken by the desserts on offer:

Then of course there was the "Stellar Sweets" deserts section which featured "The Galactus." Here's the description:

"You'll need to be the devourer of worlds to tackle this titan. Twelve scoops of ice cream topped with marshmallow, hot fudge, raspberry and caramel sauce; nuts, cherries and whipped cream. A titanic treat, perfect for any party or Super Hero family."

"The Galactus" could have been yours for only $34.95.

Suddenly, the prospect of a Mickey Mouse/Wolverine face-off seems like the soul of restraint, doesn't it?

Found In The Closet [Comic Book Resources]

Much of Van Aelst's work is focused on unconventional representations of information, and he is especially interested in using ordinary household objects to illustrate the key concepts that hold life and the universe together. In addition to his more edible works, he also uses nuts and bolts to illustrate the phases of the moon, represents a single heartbeat in parted hair, and heaps together Christmas lights in the shape of the human brain.

[Kevin Van Aelst via Make]

Chromosomes
Logarithmic Spiral
Beta Carotene
Golden Mean
Dragon Curve
Cellular Mitosis (Krispy Kreme)
Cantor Set
Periodic Table
Sierpinski's Arrowhead
Common Clouds

At this week's Clone Wars press event, members of the press were treated to the eye candy that is Big Rock Ranch, where Lucasfilm Animation is housed. In addition to the tranquil ponds and sometimes cheesy Star Wars artwork, we also got a taste of the kitchen's culinary whimsy. Each dish at breakfast and lunch had a cheeky name, from Palpatine's Pizza to the Jabba Frittata (The Official Star Wars Blog has some great shots of the labels). Among the otherwise beige Wookiee Cookies were a set of Cad Bane cookies that turned out somewhat more green than blue, but with sufficiently evil sparkly eyes.

But the sugar rush didn't end there. The event happened to fall on Ahsoka Tano voice actress Ashley Eckstein's birthday, and at the end of the day, the staff wheeled out a tray of cupcakes decorated with Ahsoka sugar discs while the animators sang "Happy Birthday."

It was a very thoughtful gesture, but to be fair, those cupcakes don't hold a candle to some of the other Star Wars cupcakes professional and amateur bakers elsewhere have concocted. Here are some of our favorites:

Replicators (Star Trek): Despite their ability to replicate everything from heavy machinery to caviar, the replicators actually malfunction far less often than their holodeck cousins. But leave it to the Cardassians to recognize replicators can be programmed for evil, whether by transmitting an aphasia virus or delivering a bomb in lieu of Captain Sisko's morning Raktajino.

Wonka's Inventions (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl): As much as Wonka claims that everything in his factory is edible, it's best to keep your mitts (and teeth) off his more experimental works, such as Three-Course Bubblegum or Television Chocolate.

Nuka-Cola (Fallout): Unlike Slurm, which is less an invention than the product of a Slurm Queen's behind, Nuka-Cola has multiple ingredients — some of them radioactive. While marketing claims the radiation in Nuka-Cola Quantum is harmless, no drink that makes your pee glow can be healthy, and even consuming Nuka-Cola Classic comes with a 10% chance of addiction.

Allied Mastercomputer ("I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream" by Harlan Ellison): When the godlike computer AM destroys nearly all of humanity, it decides to keep a few around for its own amusement. To keep the survivors from dying, it manufactures manna from heaven. To keep them from enjoying it, the computer makes it all taste terrible.

Coffee Engine (Girl Genius): The Coffee Engine could give your favorite barista a run for their money. It's capable of creating the perfect cup of coffee, which would be great if any person who drank said cup didn't become instantly obsessed with its perfection. To keep all of humanity from degrading into coffee-addled zombies (as if it weren't already too late), the machine had to be tweaked to produce only an excellent cup of coffee.

Matrix Food (The Matrix): Virtual food in the Matrix isn't inherently evil, aside from it being another way the machines trick your brain into believing you're in the physical world. But when compared with the uniform slop served outside the Matrix, the promise of nightly steak dinners is enough to convince Cypher to betray Neo.

Soylent Processing (Soylent Green): The problem with over-processed foodstuffs is that no one recognizes what they're eating any more. That isn't such a huge problem when it's just (tasteless) soy and lentil wafers, but far more sinister when your latest ingredient is tasty, human meat.

Dehydrated Pizza (Back to the Future, Part II): The height of 21st Century convenience, the dehydrated pizza stores easily and cooks in a few seconds. But even though it's the shape of a cookie when dehydrated, don't devour the thing whole. Reexpansion in the stomach can be hazardous to your health, not to mention painful.

Bologna Virus (Invader Zim): When Dib hits Zim with a slice of bologna, Zim has a lunchmeat-inspired idea for taking out his nemesis once and for all. He overwrites Dib's DNA with bologna DNA, gradually turning him in to a delicious tube of pressed meat. Naturally, of course, the plan backfires and he's got to find...a cure.

Killer Tomatoes (Attack of the Killer Tomatoes): Professor Gangreen finds a way to turn Earth's most devious fruit into a weapon of mass destruction. In the second film, he transforms tomatoes into humanoid spies, even as giant man-eating tomatoes splat through the streets.

The Chocolate Dispenser (Red Dwarf): Unlike the Talkie Toaster, which is mostly annoying with its obsession with toast, the Chocolate Dispenser has declared itself Rimmer's actual nemesis, once going so far as to attack Rimmer by firing soda cans at his head.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Gun (Meet the Robinsons): Aspiring young inventor Lewis is always inventing things, and often showing his gadgets off to less that appreciative prospective parents. The PB&J gun would have been less of a disaster if that one potential father hadn't had a deathly peanut allergy.

Kandyman (Doctor Who "The Happiness Patrol"): Don't let his bridge mix exterior fool you; the Kandyman is not an automaton to be trifled with. People who fail to smile and aren't happy all the time must deal with the Kandyman's sweet brand of law enforcement — drowning in sugary goop, otherwise known as the "fondant surprise."

Dish of the Day (The Restaurant at the End of the World by Douglas Adams): At Milliways, you get to meet your meat before you eat, thanks to a brand of sentient animal specially bred to want to be eaten. Granted, it's probably not going to hurt you, but you'll probably lose your appetite.

A few years ago, students at the Obama Fisheries High School in Fukui Prefecture developed a method of processing the monstrous jellyfish into an edible powder, which has been used to make cookies. But lately, raw caramel has been all the rage in Japan, prompting the students to try their hands at sea creature-based caramels. Adding sugar and starch syrup to the jellyfish powder, they have produced a sweet and salty candy.

It was a NASA-designed food safety management system that kicked off this jellyfish cuisine in the first place, and the high school is looking to give something back to the space program. The students have a meeting this week with the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency to make their caramels an official part of the menu aboard the International Space Station.

Space caramel made from giant jellyfish [Pink Tentacle]

In honor of Electrolux's 90th anniversary, its annual Design Lab competition is looking toward the next 90 years, asking designers how tasks like grocery shopping, cooking, and washing clothes will change over the next century. A winner will be chosen at the Electrolux Design Lab '09 finals on September 24th, but in the meantime, you can vote for the People's Choice award and check out videos of the contestants of further explaining their designs at Electrolux's website.

Top 8 Electrolux Design Lab 09 finalists announced [Electrolux Design Lab via Universe Today]

Bifoliate by Toma Brundzaite, Vilnius Academy of Art, Lithuania

Putting away clean dishes from the dishwasher is often a tedious job. That's why Toma Brundzaite has designed "Bifoliate", a space-saving, wall-mounted double dishwasher that allows the user to put dirty dishes in one compartment and use the other as a shelf for clean dishes. The dishwasher uses ultrasonic wave technology to clean making it more efficient and eco-friendly than today's dishwashers.

Naturewash by Zhenpeng Li, Zhejiang University, China

"Naturewash" is a waterless washing machine that uses negative ions to wash nano-coated fabrics. Horizontal in shape, the washing machine has three touch screen settings: clean clothes, grass scent and flower scent. A user can lie or sit on Naturewash to clean or refresh the clothes they are wearing. For a more thorough clean, clothes can be placed flat on the washer.

Moléculaire by Nico Kläber, Köln International School of Design, Germany

Nico Kläber takes the marriage of science and cooking to a new level with "Moléculaire", the 3D molecular food printer. Moléculaire is influenced by chefs that scientifically and painstakingly experiment with food and food states to surprise and provoke fresh ideas in cooking. Kläber recognizes that this approach, as it currently exists, requires great skill, time and knowledge. The Moléculaire simplifies the process and acts as a computer numerical control (CNC) food printer for both professional and domestic kitchens. It autonomously prepares basic and otherwise difficult to create two and three dimensional parts of meals. It works with a layer by layer printing process using small particles from diverse ingredients. This provides simplicity, accuracy, repeatability and, of course, great tasting food!

Renew by Louis Filosa, Purdue University, USA

"Renew" is a smart steamer that refreshes and cleans clothes. With two steam blades, Renew "blasts" garments clean. An infrared scanner and radio frequency identification (RFID) gather information about a garment from specifically designed clothing tags. Renew is safe to use and disables the steamer if an unidentified object is detected, such as a hand. An OLED touch screen allows the user to interact with Renew and learn about their clothing. At 25% the size of a current washing machine, Renew conserves space and is made of recycled aluminum and glass.

Cocoon by Rickard Hederstierna, Lund Institute of Technology, Sweden

"Cocoon" is a sustainable response to the world's growing population and its desire to consume meat and fish. Similar to heating popcorn in a microwave, Cocoon prepares genetically engineered and prepackaged meat and fish dishes by heating muscle cells identified by radio frequency identification (RFID) signals. The signals detect the specific dish and then suggest the required cooking time. This process uses science to create food, lifting a burden on the planet by reducing the need for further intensive farming and fishing. The negative effects of this process, including the mass transportation of food around the world, clearing of land and distortion of ecosystems, are then negated.

Teleport Fridge by Dulyawat Wongnawa, Chulalongkorn University, Thailand

Dulyawat Wongnawa envisions a time when the technologies found in science fiction become reality, specifically teleportation. His concept, "Teleport Fridge", teleports food, eliminating the time and distance a person has to travel to buy fresh groceries or products from a store or farm. Using touch-screen technology as the interface for the teleportation process, the Teleport Fridge simply teleports food to compartments in its refrigeration and freezer units.

Le Petit Prince by Martin Miklica, Brno University of Technology, Czech Republic

One small step for robots, one giant leap for humankind
"Le Petit Prince" is a robotic greenhouse designed to facilitate the future exploration and population of Mars. Le Petit Prince takes care of a plant it carries inside its glass case, which is mounted on top of its four-legged pod. In search of nutrients to care for the plant, the robot is programmed to intuitively learn the optimal method for this process. It also reports its movements and progress to its fellow greenhouse robots via wireless communication so that they can learn from each other.

Water Catcher by Penghao Shan, Zhejiang Sci-tech University, China

Penghao Shan has created a product that addresses water shortage. His solution is "Water Catcher", a flying rain catcher and water purifier. This automated device dispatches small flying balls in the air to catch raindrops. After the raindrops are collected, the balls return to a homing tray that purifies the water for drinking. Once purified, the balls take the drinking water directly to a person to be drunk. The homing tray also reads fingerprints to determine what additives should be added to the water to ensure the drinker optimizes their health.

Recently the fiends at NotCot visited the store and delivered up a nice photo essay of what you'll get if you shop at Alien Fresh Jerky. It's all natural!

Note: Aliens apparently do not abduct buffalo or tuna. So all you get is beef jerky. But check out the Notcot post to see all the other alien stuff you can get, meaty and otherwise.

Alien Fresh Jerky via Notcot, thanks to Marilyn Terrell

Before Dinner Cocktail:

Vodka Martini Shaken Not Stirred
"Three measures of Gordon's; one of vodka; half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it over ice, and add a thin slice of lemon peel."

First Course:

Space Soup from Space Balls

Second Course:

Kep-mok blood ticks from Dr. Lazarus' home planet served over shaven Nutrient Bars with a fried taspar egg.

Palate Cleanser:

Rice cakes from the pockets of Leia in Return of The Jedi — good for sharing with your Ewok pets.

Main Course:

Giant grilled squid with a purée of Killer Tomatoes accompanied with Popplers and garnished with the tubers grown from Swamp Thing's swamp (it's all about going organic these days). This is also a great time to break out the bloodwine (Klingon, of course — not that True Blood nonsense) preferably served warm.

Dessert:

There is a lot to choose from for this so we've rounded up a collection because you shouldn't be limited to one dessert, it's the holidays after all.

Chilled Monkey Brains
Pushing Daisies Pie (preferably Pecan)
And Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans served as munchies

After Dinner Drink:
Root Beer Float a la Walter Bishop and if you're feeling risky throw some LSD in it.

If you're looking for recipe ideas check out the Star Wars Cook Book, the Star Trek Cookbook but I would stay away from Natural Harvest the semen-based cookbook (even that is too out there for me).

When John Glenn first when into space, the sustanance astronauts were expected to eat could hardly be considered food: pastes, cubes, and powders provided the necessary protein and vitamins, but were found universally unpalatable. Although the food options more closely resemble what you’d find on Earth, foods sent into space still need to be pre-cooked, preserved, and rendered bacteria free. And the relationship between NASA’s Thanksgiving dinner and the traditional feast are largely superficial:

For the Thanksgiving dinner, the smoked turkey was irradiated and the green beans and dressing were freeze-dried, a form of dehydration. The candied yams and dessert were heated.

A week before Thanksgiving, NASA gave reporters a taste-test of the astronauts' holiday dinner. The smoked turkey was slightly stiffer than deli meat, like after it has been left in the refrigerator a week past its expiration date. The candied yams had a syrupy sweetness outside that dissolved into blandness in the middle. The green beans with mushrooms tasted like they have been frozen and then microwaved to an inch of their life.

The saving grace was a sublime cranapple dessert. There was a tartness to the apples and sweetness to the cranberries mixed with pecans and syrup in a dish that resembles cobbler filling.

The crew of the space shuttle Endeavour, which is currently docked at the Space Station brought the meal with them along with them the station’s first-ever food refrigerator, so the occupants might enjoy another Thanksgiving tradition: leftovers.

[Discovery News]

The Time Machine by H.G. Wells: In the future, the spoiled Eloi, descendents of the human race, live in comfort and ease on the Earth’s surface, benefiting from the underground toil of their Morlock cousins. But the Morlocks are hardly slaves to the Eloi; they’re just fattening the surface dwellers for the slaughter.

Doomsday: Scottish survivors of a killer plague get terribly excited when visitors from the outside show up on their doorstep. Fresh meat means it’s time for a barbecue.

Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein: The ritual of cannibalism was a time-honored Martian tradition to show respect to a beloved friend. When Michael Valentine Smith introduces the custom to his followers, some partake, fueling accusations that Smith is leading a freaky cult.

Courtship Rite by Donald Kingsbury: When humans settle on the planet Geta, they bring with them bees and eight sacred plants. Geta has a handful of native animals, but they are largely toxic. So, the only eating animals left are human beings, and humanity just isn’t ready to go vegetarian.

Torchwood “Countrycide”: What keeps a village happy and cohesive? Shared values? Community service? Regular get-togethers? Or is it that ritual human feast you all partake in every 10 years?

Peeps by Scott Westerfeld: Peeps, or Parasite Positives, contract a parasite through sexual contact and promptly lose their minds and develop an irresistible craving for meat. This combination proves deadly to any humans who wander into the paths of the infected.

“The Washingtonians” by Bentley Little: George Washington: war hero, patriot, cannibal? That’s right, George Washington became a cannibal during the Revolutionary War, but found the taste of human flesh to his liking. That’s why he became president: not to usher in a new era of democracy, but to convert the nation to his dietary regime.

World War Z by Max Brooks: Living through the zombie apocalypse sucks. It’s bad enough that undead are trying to chow down on your flesh, but you also have to deal with survivalists who’ve turned to other humans as sustenance and Z-shock victims who act like they’re zombies, right down to the chewing.

“Food of the Gods” by Arthur C. Clarke: Is the cannibalism taboo moral, or does it just give us icky feelings? In a future where all meat is synthetic, and therefore moral, a company starts making Ambrosia Plus, a foodstuff based on a rather familiar animal. When Ambrosia Plus starts outselling the other faux meats, a competitor reveals that, while Ambrosia Plus isn’t made of people, it sure tastes the same.

Delicatessen: When trying to survive a post-apocalyptic France, it helps to have a landlord with a steady supply of meat. Just don’t get behind on the rent, or you’ll end up beneath the counter.

Doctor Who “The Two Doctors” and “Revelation of the Daleks”: Colin Baker’s Sixth Doctor encounters cannibals in fairly close succession. First, there’s Shockeye, who wants to kill, cook, and eat his fellow sentients Jamie and Peri in “The Two Doctors.” Then in “Revelation of the Daleks,” a mortuary on Necros provides raw material for both new army of Daleks and the food for a starving galaxy.

Livewires: Combat robot Stem Cell contains a nanofactory in her innards. When she needs material to construct a host of pyronanos, she consumes her own skin to get it.

Firefly: It’s not the Reavers’ fault that they’re all crazy and prone to chewing on their victims; that’s just the Pax. But when you hear Zoe describe it, you realize how much you don’t want to meet one of these fellows.

The Twilight Zone “To Serve Man”: Mankind’s new alien friends sound like a real upstanding bunch. They bring humans their wisdom and technology, ending all wars and hunger, and even offer to take a few folks with them to check out the home planet. But their true intentions are revealed in their book “To Serve Man.”

Transmetropolitan: In the instant gratification world of Transmetropolitan, anyone can get anything at anytime, provide they have the cash. This even applies to human meat, which comes from brainless bodies grown in bastard farms. And, in addition to fulfilling your nutritional needs, bastard farms can grow you a vice presidential candidate for a nominal fee.

Spaceballs: Space gangster Pizza the Hutt gets locked inside his car and eats himself to death. And why wouldn’t he? Look at him: he’s a mountain of pepperoni and cheesey goodness.

Soylent Green: Yes, yes, we’re all aware: Soylent Green is people. But it’s so good. But if we don’t watch it being made, can’t we just pretend it’s soy?

The usual Scoville test involves diluting a sauce until taste testers can't detect heat anymore — the amount required to dilute it gives it a rating on the Scoville Scale. Chromatography can give you an accurate reading of capsaicinoids, but it's neither cheap nor easy. The new test uses carbon nanotube electrodes to draw in capsaicin molecules, which have a unique electrochemical response. When the capsaicinoids react, the device measures the current change and determines exactly how many were present. It can even translate this number into Scoville Units.

While the developers think this will be very useful in the food industry, where it can be deployed right on the production line, I've got a better idea. We can use it to develop a hot sauce so intense that we can cover our bodies with it to protect us from hungry robots. Image by: Viewoftheworld.

Chemists Measure Chilli Sauce Hotness With Nanotubes. [Science Daily]

Since ghrelin isn't regulated, a fast food restaurant that wanted to sell more food could easily turn it into an additive in their hamburgers or donuts, essentially "addicting" people to their food. Or making them hungrier so that they buy more.

On the other hand, drugs that tamper with ghrelin could also be made to have the opposite effect. they could be used in diet pills to make you feel less hungry, and make food less memorable or appealing. Reports New Scientist about such drugs:

But they might have unintended behavioural side effects, as well, [researcher Alain] Dagher says. Meddling with ghrelin levels could alter the brain's natural sense of rewards, potentially causing mood changes and even depression.

A diet drug called rimonabant that acts on a similar but separate brain system has been linked to depression and suicide, and although it is on sale in other countries, the US Food and Drug Administration has been slow to approve the pill.

But knocking out ghrelin could help scientists pick apart the hormone's effects on the brain, says Matthias Tschop, an obesity expert at the University of Cincinnati.

"Does the pizza not smell that good anymore? Does the pizza not look as good anymore?" he adds.

Research in mice and rats suggests that the hormone changes how they see and smell food, and the same might be true in humans.

Stomach Hormone turns Hungry People into Junkies [New Scientist]

Attendees listened to talks with names like "What product features will influence an animal advocate's decision to move from vegetarianism to In Vitro Meat?" and went to panels devoted to "large-scale tissue engineering." While it's still more expensive to produce cultured meat than it is to raise chickens for the slaughter, the economics are changing as swiftly as the technologies to produce cultured meat. Mostly the barriers to market entry in a few years will be the meat industry itself, which may attempt to scare consumers away from the stuff or pull strings in government block the synthetic flesh via regulations.

For the record, cultured meat tastes just like regular meat — it's tissue-engineered muscle, made of exactly the same biological ingredients as meat from dead animals. It can also be a lot less fatty. Texture is one of the remaining issues, which is why proponents of cultured meat suggest it will first come to market as chicken nuggets and ground meat.

Andrew Revkin of the New York Times Dot Earth blog imagines vat meat as an eco-alternative:

But one could envision someday a model, say, of a solar-powered facility in southern California or Singapore basically turning sunlight and desalinated seawater into growth medium and then tons of cruelty-free, sustainable nuggets of chicken essence.

Whatever works best. If it is harder to move people [to stop slaughtering animals] on ethical grounds than it is to provide a sustainable humane substitute, I'm all for the substitute.

Can People Have Meat and a Planet Too? [Dot Earth]

Once our world is annihilated, the planet will be occupied by giant mushrooms. Not hard to guess what foodstuff he used to make this one. And could this image, below, be a broccoli paradise?

Images by Carl Warner

Carl Warner main page via Playmedesign

• The Black & Decker Food Hydrator from Back fo the Future II: This is something you'd expect to see Ron Popeil infomercializing to you on late night TV, especially since he invented the electric food dehydrator, "You can make your beef jerky for $3 a pound!" We'll take the BTTF version though. Pop in a miniature dehydrated pizza, and seconds later you're enjoying a fresh pie.
• The Super Microwave from The Fifth Element: Leeloo has the biggest case of munchies we've ever witnessed since a Cheech & Chong movie, and as she barrels through a digital encyclopedia full of knowledge about Earth, she keeps popping chicken dinner pellets into the microwave and zapping out full-sized steaming dinners in the blink of an eye. We'd hate to see what it could do to Hello Kitty.
• The Toasting Knife from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: This one may be too far-fetched; a knife that toasts your bread as it slices. Maybe if Toshiba would just finally can their HD-DVD division and put them onto cool home kitchen gadgets, we could see something like this on store shelves within six months. Plus you could reenact lightsaber battles at home a lot easier by just nabbing this from the cutlery drawer.
• The Replicator from Star Trek: I'm sure some of the Trekkies out there will know the answer to this, but why did they employ cooks on ships in Starfleet when a replicator could just give them anything they wanted, ready to eat? The Next Generation used it to replace the food slots from the original series, and Picard himself used it to whip up piping hot Earl Grey tea on numerous occasions.
• The Nutrimatic Drink Dispenser from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Not to be outdone by Star Trek's replicator, this thing would actually analyzes your brainwaves and taste buds and give you what would your body was craving, although it never gave poor Arthur any proper tea. In the film there's a similar device that Trillian says detects what your body is craving and gives her a donut. These things would put convenience stores out of business.
• J.F. Sebastian's Hard Boiled Egg Beaker from Blade Runner: Okay, so it's really just a tall beaker full of boiling water and eggs, but that doesn't mean someone like Proctor-Silex couldn't slap their name on a glass container and stick a heating element on the bottom. It would just look cool if you had bubbling hard boiled eggs ready whenever you wanted one, and it sure beats the briny jar full of pickled eggs that's a fixture at dusty dive bars.
• The Hanging Garden Center in Back to the Future II: One reason to double dip in the well of BTTF is that they nailed the cheesy plastic era of the future better than those black and white "The Kitchen Of Tomorrow!" pieces. The McFly dining table sports a voice-activated hanging hydroponic garden that can drop down to give you fruit on demand, then retracts when you're done unless you're a spaz like Marty Jr.
• Rosie the Robot Maid from The Jetsons: Rosie had to be the ultimate kitchen and home gadget. Not only would she cook and clean, but she's also keep your kids and husband out of shenanigans. Although she had a little bit of programmed sass because she was modeled after Hazel from the 1960s. She's a lot less creepy than the sweet potato pie-baking bots in I, Robot, and less annoying than Mr. Belvedere.
• Honorable Mention: Pee Wee's Breakfast Machine from Pee Wee's Big Adventure: This is something you could actually build in your kitchen today, it you had a lot of time and patience. But who wouldn't want a Rube Goldberg device that would make them bacon and eggs every morning? Although you have to add the Mr. T cereal on your own. The closest thing we've ever found to it is this Egg McMuffin machine, but it doesn't incorporate Abraham Lincoln at all.

• Kenneth Johnson's name might not be as household as Gene Roddenberry's, but he created The Bionic Woman, V, and the Alien Nation television series.
• Johnson directed The Incredible Hulk television movie back in 1977, and Short Circuit 2 in 1988. Sadly, he also directed the Shaquille O'Neal movie Steel in 1997.
• NBC desperately wanted a science fiction television series due to the success of Star Wars. V was originally meant to be much more political in tone, but the network added more "action and rayguns" to try and make it more exciting.
• Babylon 5 creator J. Michael Straczynski was asked to script a new V series in 1989 called V: The Next Chapter, but it was eventually deemed too expensive to produce.
• V was partially inspired by both Nazi facism (which is why the insignia looks a bit like a swastika) and the famous Twilight Episode "To Serve Man", which is all about aliens cultivating humans as cattle.
• When the aliens come to Earth, they appear over many major cities, including San Francisco and Los Angeles, oddly enough. Much like the scenes in Independence Day, their appearances causes panic amongst civilians, while scientists nod gravely and watch on tv screens.

  

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• They wear elaborate human disguises to hide their reptilian nature. They also wore stylish eyeshades and sunglasses to conceal their peepers. In the first two miniseries, their voices were given a pitch shift treatment, making them speak in funky alien tones. This was dropped in the ongoing television series, however.
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• The Visitors are hailed as its new alien protectors, making them rock stars. At one point, little kids play with action figures based on the visitors and their ships. These were going to be produced as real toys that you could purchase, but they were only released in Spain and Europe.

  

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• However, once things start going badly, scientists find themselves persecuted or abducted, and resistance movements begin popping up all over the place, which continues to echo the Nazi theme.
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• Just like in Word War II, V stood for victory, and red Vs were spray painted everywhere as a sign of defiance.
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• One mothership in each Visitor fleet was equipped with a Doomsday device that was could wipe out an entire planet, and was meant to be used if defeat was imminent. The device was activated once in the series, but later defused.
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• There was a "Star Child" who was produced from the offspring of a human mating with an alien (just how did that work?) and he had magic powers like telekinesis. Would this be what Starman's kid would be like?
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• Johnson left the series during V: The Final Battle, and went to work on other shows. People blame this for the shift in tone during the last miniseries, and the tv show, which only lasted a single season.
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• The cancellation of the series came as a big surprise to the producers, and the series ends with a huge cliffhanger. Whoops.
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• DC Comics produced a V series in 1985 that ran for 18 issues. They tried unsuccessfully to get the rights to continue the storyline when the show was canceled.
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• A two volume Japanese manga version of the series was produced, and faded away quietly. Copies are hard to come by.
• So now that you've been re-educated, what do you think? Can this series be brought back in the 2000s?