Statistical Proof That Lionel Messi Is the Best Soccer Player On Earth

Over at FiveThirtyEight Sports, Benjamin Morris makes a thoroughly convincing case that Argentina's Lionel Messi is the world's best soccer player. Even if you're not big on sportsball, the statistical rigor in Morris' analysis –and the athletic supremacy revealed thereby – is enough to make any data nerd squee. » 7/03/14 3:30pm 7/03/14 3:30pm

NFL Player Announces "Hogwarts" as Alma Mater

In a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment, a Carolina Panthers player declared his alma mater to be "Hogwarts" in the opening minutes of Sunday Night Football. I was so certain of what I thought I'd just heard but was still incredulous b/c I wasn't paying enough attention to the screen to see the guy hamming it up in… » 12/10/13 2:26pm 12/10/13 2:26pm

The first G.I. Joe/Cobra intramural football game was stupider than you…

We all agree that, no matter where you stand politically, it's a good thing to "support the troops." But what if, instead of defending our freedom, the troops were playing football games with terrorists? That's the question posed by one particular episode of G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero, titled "Pigskin Commandos."… » 2/28/13 11:00am 2/28/13 11:00am

NFL fans by U.S. county, according to Facebook

On the surface Facebook is a social network, but those in the know recognize that it's actually one of the largest datasets of human trends, preferences and activity ever catalogued. One way to appreciate the vast potential of this dataset is to use the company's new Graph Search to find people who like "shitting… » 1/29/13 8:40am 1/29/13 8:40am

Soccer is for wusses: Barefoot Fireball is the true sport of champions

If you've been looking for a way to spice up your regular soccer game, take a cue from these East Java footballers. They light a coconut on fire, douse all the players in salt and non-flammable spices, say a prayer, and start playing football. Take that, everyone who's ever said you shouldn't play with fire. » 10/13/12 4:00pm 10/13/12 4:00pm

The abandoned Houston Astrodome will host the Super Bowl on Ragnarok

Despite its historical distinction as the world's first domed stadium, the Houston Astrodome (a.k.a. "The Eighth Wonder of the World") has languished unused since the late 2000s. In the ensuing years, Houston-area sports teams have moved on to other venues and the elements (and an electrical fire) have taken its toll… » 4/05/12 7:40am 4/05/12 7:40am

The Secret Satanic Conspiracy Behind Madonna's Halftime Show

Sure, M.I.A.'s waggling middle finger caused a grand mal kerfuffle among the 37 Super Bowl viewers who were still sober enough to notice it. But far more insidious symbolism was at play during the 2012 halftime show. We are referring to, of course, the subliminal Satanic-Illuminati-Freemason messages that permeated… » 2/08/12 7:20am 2/08/12 7:20am

The New Orleans Saints hired a Voodoo priestess to fight a ghostly…

Today, the New York Giants and the New England Patriots battle for football supremacy, while fans sit at home with their lucky jerseys and their game day rituals. But some teams need a bit more mystical help than others. In 2000, the New Orleans Saints called in the big guns to combat the ghostly curse on their… » 2/05/12 11:00am 2/05/12 11:00am