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Spielberg Puts Indiana's Hat Back In Shia's Hands
Jurassic Park 4 A "Long Shot," But NeverEnding Story's Coming

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BadUncle
06/18/09

In reply to Spielberg Puts Indiana's Hat Back In Shia's Hands
Milking this thing to the hooves, eh Spielberg? Beats working.
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twDarkflame
06/19/09

@BadUncle: Spielberg could have retired decades ago. This is his artform, and he loves it.
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BadUncle
06/19/09

@twDarkflame: And old ladies in Florida love to paint for mall art shows.
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PlaidNinja
06/18/09

In reply to Spielberg Puts Indiana's Hat Back In Shia's Hands
I liked Crystal Skull - sure there were bits that were off, and sure it could have been a bit better, but I LOATHE Temple of Doom.

Kate Capshaw is 1000 times worse than Shah La Douche.

Don't even get me started on Short Round.
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Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
06/18/09

@PlaidNinja: *applause*
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David Walker
06/18/09

In reply to Spielberg Puts Indiana's Hat Back In Shia's Hands
Sure they could have Nazi's in the next one. Everyone one knows a bunch of them escaped to South America after the war, maybe they took a holy relic with them, the "Spear of Destiny" perhaps....
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reaper2k
06/18/09

@David Walker: Actually, this idea has potential. It could be tied to Jones' work during WWII, with some flashback scenes in sepia tone to show us how kick ass he used to be.

Cut to 1950s Argentina where Jones is trying to track down the last known missing artifact from the Nazi arsenal. Leads on a chase around the world (including Egypt so we can have a Sallah cameo). The leads to the Soviet Union, where the Kremlin has taken control of the Spear and plans to use it to upset the balance of world power.

The climax would be set in a frantic chase through East Germany, as Indy tries to get the Spear out of the country and into the West.
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Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
06/18/09

@reaper2k: This is a great idea!
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SybaRat
06/18/09

In reply to Spielberg Puts Indiana's Hat Back In Shia's Hands
What "Indy IV?" There are only three Indy movies. Three.

THREE, DAMN YOU!
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Doctor Who?
06/18/09

@SybaRat: You mean two, of course. Raiders and the Last Crusade.
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Darklighter
06/18/09

@Doctor Who?: Hey, now! Temple of Doom wasn't great, but it gave us Short Round!
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Doctor Who?
06/18/09

@Darklighter: As I said. There's only two.
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Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
06/18/09

@Doctor Who?: I like you, sir!
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Rasselas
06/18/09

In reply to Spielberg Puts Indiana's Hat Back In Shia's Hands
Maybe they can persuade Connery to join the next one. He'd straighten out The Beef right quick.
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diejjdie
06/18/09

@Rasselas:

if they can resurrect him
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Rasselas
06/18/09

@diejjdie: Hello, plotline!
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Doctor Who?
06/18/09

In reply to Spielberg Puts Indiana's Hat Back In Shia's Hands
If they do this, they need Sallah to be in it, they need to go after some Judeo-Christian artifact, and the antagonists have to be Nazis. Those three ingredients are present in the two good Indiana Jones movies, and are missing in the two ones that were horrible.
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FerrariDom
06/18/09

@Doctor Who?:

Agreed. While the last film was entertaining, it wasn't GOOD like Raiders or Crusade.
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L3G10N
06/18/09

@FerrariDom: Against my better judgment I watched "Crystal Skull" and it was terrible. I should have listened to my friends. But I thought, "How bad could it be?" The south Park Episode summed it up perfectly.

It was entertaining, I'll give you that. And you know what. If it wasn't an Indiana Jones movie, I may have actually enjoyed it more. If it was "Alan Quatermain: The Crystal Skull" I could have tolerated it. But his ass-raping of Indy was deplorable.
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Grand_Marquis
06/18/09

@L3G10N: Say what you will, but the most recent one was better than the horrible "Temple of Doom" by a long shot.
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Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
06/18/09

@Grand_Marquis: Amen. The first words out of me and my friend's mouths when it ended were "It was better than Temple of Doom".

I thought the Russkies made an adequate Nazi replacement, so they can be in the next one and make it another Judeo-Christian mcguffin and you're gold.
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MosesMonster
06/18/09

In reply to Spielberg Puts Indiana's Hat Back In Shia's Hands
Maybe his son will die in the next one. *Fingers Crossed*
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atrus123
06/18/09

@reddingofish: Ditto. I keep wondering what inspired Spielberg to pick Shia to play Indy's son. It's like they made a concerted effort to make sure that the next Indiana Jones would be a dorky kid rather than a swashbuckling badass. Maybe they should have picked Michael Cera. At least he knows how to make dorkiness funny.
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Hello Mister Walrus
06/18/09

@atrus123: Shia Leboeuf = badass? HUH??

I'm convinced that they purposely made Shia's character that annoying in Crystal Skull so that we'll think the sequel is the best movie ever when he gets impaled through the torso in the first 5 minutes.
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Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
06/18/09

@MosesMonster: That would be awesome, and also a really good motivation for Indy and Marion to go out on another adventure.
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Richard Spock
06/16/09

In reply to Jurassic Park 4 A "Long Shot," But NeverEnding Story's Coming
Goddammit!! NEVERENDING STORY SUCKS!!!

it's that one fucking movie every ball-sucking hipster loves and it fucking sucks!!! how many times have i been high at some shitty party and some fuck takes a break from gurgling ass-drippings and wants to put that bullshit on--too many fucking times! oh, such hatred. horrible movie.
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Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H.
06/16/09

@Richard Spock: Wow you don't like something. Color me shocked.
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crashedpc - Haifisch
06/16/09

In reply to Jurassic Park 4 A "Long Shot," But NeverEnding Story's Coming
"It's.... eating ... my neverending... brain!!!"
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omgwtflolbbqbye
06/16/09

In reply to Jurassic Park 4 A "Long Shot," But NeverEnding Story's Coming
If I remember correctly William Monahan and John Sayles did a draft a long time ago for Jurrasic Park 4 which was totally insane and included crossbreed dinosaurs and a group of ultra-intelligent Deinonychus that are designed to work as dino-soldiers for some evil Swiss corporation.
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Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H.
06/16/09

@omgwtflolbbqbye: I remember reading that forever ago and that will really go down as one of the craziest things that I'll probably never get to see, but it sounded for the lack of a better word...

Totally fucking awesome.
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GitEmSteveDave_RockinLabCoat
06/17/09

@omgwtflolbbqbye: I believe that was supposed to be part of Jurassic Park 2:
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