[LatinoReview, ComingSoon, and IESB via Slashfilm]

Destro's Arctic Headquarters include a submarine docking area, medical lab, the diving bell room, Destro's submarine, a control room and (best of all) a giant ice cave. IESB also got to check out a few of the JOE toys including a JOE Sub and described it:

Small two man submarine called a "SHARC" (Submersible High-speed Attack and Reconnaissance Craft), the cargo area of a troop transport and the remains of the Urban Combat Level of The Pit.

As far as details about the plot and characters all they could reveal is that there will be lots of explosions. Vipers and Neo-Vipers were on set. It should be exciting to see how they'll bring all of the Vipers to life, as they're the best expendable foot soldiers ever (so many different kinds!). Also, Brendan Fraser has no connection to the movie whatsoever and neither does Dwayne Johnson (pity).

G.I. Joe Set Tour [IESB]

Transformers: "Don't Run Away From Home"
Transformers tell you how selfish you really are.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: "Don't Smoke Weed: Get A Teacher"
Classic turtle lingo, but seriously, getting a pizza isn't that bad of a suggestion.

Thundercats: "Don't Do Anything"
A hosts of cat characters give you the run down.

Star Wars: "Don't Drive Drunk"
Friends don't let friends drink and do Kessel runs.

He-Man and She-Ra: "Don't Get Sexually Assaulted"
Love the shout out to a minister or a rabbi.

Power Rangers: "Don't Be A Jerk"
Good thing Billy had the temporal displacement unit handy.

Here's the movie's premise: the G.I. Joe team, led by Duke (Channing Tatum), fights for freedom wherever there is trouble. And their arch nemesis is Cobra Commander and his Cobra Force. The movie is based on a Hasbro line of toys, but also on a comic-book series from the 1980s, which had the Joe squad working out of "The Pit."

CC2K has an early review of the movie's script, and apparently it includes:

• "Accelerator suits," which allow the G.I. Joe squad to run faster, jump super-high, smash through walls, and shrug off bullets.
• A "nano-bomb" that the Cobra Commander wants to launch — which launches a swarm of nanites that eat all of the buildings and machinery, without harming any of the people. (And how do the nanites know when to stop eating all the non-organic matter? Will this be explained at all?)
• The Neo-Vipers, super-soldiers enhanced by nanotech, so they can't feel pain or remorse. (And maybe they can actually regenerate from injuries? It's not clear.) A mad scientist, known only as the Doctor, creates these soldiers for Destro, who's horribly disfigured after a fight with Duke. Destro wears a mask made out of nanotechnology, which allows the Doctor, aka Commander, to control his mind.
• hawt babe Scarlett (Rachel Nichols, see pic above) who is a virgin, despite wearing breast-exaggerating armor (which can turn invisible.) Marlon Wayans' wacky sidekick character Ripcord has the hots for Scarlett, who says she'll date him if he can shoot her on an obstacle course. He fails to hit her, and later realizes he was actually shooting real arrows instead of "training arrows." Also, Dennis Quaid plays "Hawk," their leader, and The Rock is rumored to play Shipwreck, another one of the good guys.
• a weird backstory involving a romance between Channing Tatum's Duke and Sienna Miller's evil Baroness. They almost got married, and now she's a Nazi or something. The Baroness says things like, "Deep down, you're still the man I fell in love with." And "Do it, Duke. You've already killed me once."
• futuristic killer ninjas, as we already mentioned a while back. [CinCity2000]

Based on the Fall of Reach prequel novel, Beattie's script follows a soldier named John from his conscription into the USNC to his transformation into the Master Chief. Then we see the horrific first contact with the Covenant, leading to the fall of the USNC base on Reach, which only the Master Chief survives. Beattie also has sketched out the plots for two sequels. Now will Microsoft pay attention? [Latino Review, which swears this isn't an April Fools thing.]

These images give us hope that G.I. Joe won't be a complete mess, or at least it'll look pretty while continuing to strip-mine all our childhood memories. We haven't heard if Snake-Eyes will have his wolf Timber in the movie or not, although we don't really think they need to give him a slobbering animal to make him look more intimidating. It's also not clear if he'll talk or if we'll just see his face in the flick. (Thanks ProjectThanatos!)