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San Francisco, 3:59 AM
Sun Nov 22
10 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Gene Therapy Creates Superstrong Monkeys

    One Gene Tweak Could Make Chimps Talk

    Bad Driving Could be in Your Genes

    Naked Mole Rats Have Anti-Cancer Superpowers

    Gene Therapy Has Color-Blind Monkeys Seeing Red (and Green)

    New Study Shows Every Person Has "At Least 100 Mutations"

    Fabricate Your Own DNA Evidence

    Were Africans The First People To Domesticate Dogs?

    Regrow Lost Teeth! (With An Optional Fluorescent Glow)

    Scientists Create Families of Mutant, Drug-Producing Rats

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Klebert L. Hall Klebert L. Hall
    11/21/09

    In reply to Gene Therapy Creates Superstrong Monkeys
    You know, there really aren't very many monkeys, and there's over six billion of us...

    Not to mention that we have speech and technology, and have shown the ability to make other species extinct entirely by accident...

    It doesn't much matter if supermonkeys somehow become the norm, we still win easily.
    -Kle.
     Reply
    Klebert L. Hall was starred Klebert L. Hall was unstarred
    Image of Bootknife-Jackson Bootknife-Jackson
    11/20/09

    In reply to Gene Therapy Creates Superstrong Monkeys
    sweet, i'll sign up for that trial! so i'll be susceptible to even the tiniest of infection, so what, i'll just flex the infection out through my pores! ....oh yeah, i'll be that strong....
     Reply
    Bootknife-Jackson was starred Bootknife-Jackson was unstarred
    Image of ♠ Final ♠ ♠ Final ♠
    11/20/09

    In reply to Gene Therapy Creates Superstrong Monkeys
    Just take away their hands so they can't use our firearms against us.

    What do you mean they can shoot with their feet?
     Reply
    ♠ Final ♠ was starred ♠ Final ♠ was unstarred
    Image of korybing korybing
    11/20/09

    In reply to Gene Therapy Creates Superstrong Monkeys
    Oh yes, make monkeys STRONGER. Because that's something that needs to happen. As if I wasn't terrified of the damn things to begin with...
     Reply
    korybing was starred korybing was unstarred
    Image of EdificeComplex EdificeComplex
    11/20/09

    In reply to Gene Therapy Creates Superstrong Monkeys
    I'm sure our machines will become self aware long before these super strong primates rise up against us.
     Reply
    EdificeComplex was starred EdificeComplex was unstarred
    Image of The_Sporean_Bob The_Sporean_Bob
    11/20/09

    @EdificeComplex: You fool! The machines and the primates will unite in a symbiotic relationship and destroy us all! the machines will be the brains, the monkeys, the genetically modified super strong brawn!
     Reply
    EdificeComplex promoted this comment The_Sporean_Bob was starred The_Sporean_Bob was unstarred
    Image of EdificeComplex EdificeComplex
    11/20/09

    @The_Sporean_Bob: Not even a John Connor/George Taylor hybrid could save us from such a disaster!
     Reply
    Edited by EdificeComplex at 11/20/09 6:00 PM EdificeComplex was starred EdificeComplex was unstarred
    Image of Dresan Dresan
    11/20/09

    In reply to Gene Therapy Creates Superstrong Monkeys

    Sorry, had to go there.
     Reply
    Dresan was starred Dresan was unstarred
    Image of GodofMonkeys GodofMonkeys
    11/20/09

    @Dresan: If you didn't, I was going to.
     Reply
    GodofMonkeys was starred GodofMonkeys was unstarred
    Image of gorehound gorehound
    11/20/09

    In reply to Gene Therapy Creates Superstrong Monkeys
    i want some !!! I need the big muscles to get the hot girls and so I can drink & fight some too.
     Reply
    gorehound was starred gorehound was unstarred
    Image of Jeb_Hoge Jeb_Hoge
    11/20/09

    In reply to Gene Therapy Creates Superstrong Monkeys
    You know, having seen that woman who had her face eaten by a chimp, I'm thinking we don't need to be cranking primates up to 11.
     Reply
    Jeb_Hoge was starred Jeb_Hoge was unstarred
    Image of Shini: R.O.A.C.H. Shini: R.O.A.C.H.
    11/20/09

    @Jeb_Hoge: As long as it's only one thigh, that should throw off their balance.
     Reply
    Shini: R.O.A.C.H. was starred Shini: R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of Jassen Jassen
    11/20/09

    In reply to Gene Therapy Creates Superstrong Monkeys
    Looks like am going to be the first against the wall when our freakishly large, super strong monkey overlords take over as i am suffering from their only current weakness. One of the side affects of taking the treatment is the need to take immunosuppressant drugs which means my cold would be deadly to them.

    All my phlemgy brothers, learn Morse-Code so we can co-ordinate our international sneeze attacks.

    On a serious note: This looks like a serious advancement for the curing of a number of diseases and conditions and i cannot wait to see how this will help improve the lives of a substantial number of people.
     Reply
    Edited by Jassen at 11/20/09 1:21 PM Jassen was starred Jassen was unstarred
    Image of Roklimber Roklimber
    11/20/09

    In reply to Gene Therapy Creates Superstrong Monkeys
    "researchers have increased strength and muscle mass in monkeys with a small genetic tweak"

    Why go the genetic tweak route, when anabolic steroids already have the same effect?

    Either way, bad bad idea. Haven't these people watched the various movies and TV show episodes that taught the rest of us that this doesn't end well for humans?
     Reply
    Roklimber was starred Roklimber was unstarred
    Image of theCrippleCricket theCrippleCricket
    11/20/09

    @Roklimber: Okay okay, yes, scary monkeys bad. Cripple people (me) who have one of those faaaabulous degenerative muscle diseases though... we're worse than raging primates. We have 300lb steel wheelchairs and napoleon complexes.

    Give us the monkey juice and you won't get hurt, you feel me?
     Reply
    Roklimber promoted this comment theCrippleCricket was starred theCrippleCricket was unstarred
    Image of BloggyMcBlogBlog BloggyMcBlogBlog
    11/20/09

    @Roklimber: Steroids probably have greater side effects and risk.
     Reply
    BloggyMcBlogBlog was starred BloggyMcBlogBlog was unstarred
    Image of Roklimber Roklimber
    11/20/09

    @theCrippleCricket:

    Oh, I have nothing against doing this research to benefit people. I'm just concerned about the monkey-led carnage. :)
     Reply
    Roklimber was starred Roklimber was unstarred
    Image of Roklimber Roklimber
    11/20/09

    @BloggyMcBlogBlog: I suppose as much, or else there would be no point in conducting this kind of research.

    My post was made in jest.
     Reply
    Roklimber was starred Roklimber was unstarred
    Image of Jassen Jassen
    11/20/09

    @BloggyMcBlogBlog: I think we can say that; currently Steroids have known side effects. The mokey juice does currently require immunosuppressant drugs. I think it will be a while before a full comparison between the 2 can be made.
     Reply
    Jassen was starred Jassen was unstarred
    Image of Jassen Jassen
    11/20/09

    @theCrippleCricket: Great, a rolling army of super strong ex-cripples with Napoleonic complexes hyped up on Monkey juice.

    My uncle is gonna give me the biggest wedgie ever once he starts getting his shots. Knowing him he will mount blades on his wheels, fit his crutches with pump action shotguns and make me his personal meat shield when he decides to storm parliament.
     Reply
    Jassen was starred Jassen was unstarred
    Image of theCrippleCricket theCrippleCricket
    11/20/09

    @Roklimber: I know, hehe, mine was too.
     Reply
    Jassen promoted this comment theCrippleCricket was starred theCrippleCricket was unstarred
    Image of theCrippleCricket theCrippleCricket
    11/20/09

    @Jassen: I'm pretty sure insurance won't cover robo-chair. Though they did offer me an ipod attachment option, so I'd check with his provider :-P
     Reply
    theCrippleCricket was starred theCrippleCricket was unstarred
    Image of Im_your_Huckleberry Im_your_Huckleberry
    11/20/09

    @Jassen: That second part could probably be the climax scene in the new Death Race movie.
     Reply
    Jassen promoted this comment Im_your_Huckleberry was starred Im_your_Huckleberry was unstarred
    Image of Jassen Jassen
    11/20/09

    @theCrippleCricket: That's a phone call i want to be there for when he makes it "oh hi, just wondering if my insurance covers fitting blades to my wheels and do i get a discount on ammo ?"

    PS: did you take the ipod attachment ?
     Reply
    Edited by Jassen at 11/20/09 2:34 PM Jassen was starred Jassen was unstarred
    Image of Jassen Jassen
    11/20/09

    @Im_your_Huckleberry: you know, as kitchy as it sounds i bet Stratham could make it work.
     Reply
    Jassen was starred Jassen was unstarred
    Image of theCrippleCricket theCrippleCricket
    11/20/09

    @Jassen: Don't forget to ask for the meat shield! We call those 'personal assistants' in mixed company, or 'butt-wipers' in cripple land.

    And, sadly no, I didn't take the iPod attachment. Like cupholders, things that attach to the outer areas of wheelchairs are asking to get knocked off in a doorframe after a few too many margaritas.
     Reply
    theCrippleCricket was starred theCrippleCricket was unstarred
    Image of Jassen Jassen
    11/20/09

    @theCrippleCricket: Well while your in getting your monkey juice shots see if they can embed an ipod dock somewhere & some speakers (they have MP3 players in bra's so why not get it built in permanently) that way when you storm government in your flying robo chair you can play "flight of the valkyries" ;)
     Reply
    Jassen was starred Jassen was unstarred
    Image of theCrippleCricket theCrippleCricket
    11/20/09

    @Jassen: Mr. Cricket would probably pay money to turn my nipples into speakers or something.

    #tips
     Reply
    theCrippleCricket was starred theCrippleCricket was unstarred
    Image of Jassen Jassen
    11/20/09

    @theCrippleCricket: See, thats just something that i bet these scientists aren't working on in conjunction with super muscle monkey juice.

    Although i wouldn't be surprised if Steve Jobs doesn't have a secret lab somewhere working on iErogenous zones.

    New Blue-tooth iNipples: Now you can control all you iDevices with just one tweak.
     Reply
    Jassen was starred Jassen was unstarred
    Image of Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.
    11/20/09

    @Jassen: Naaah, once he's on the monkey juice, he'll probably just wedgie you, stick you to the ceiling by your shorts, then grab thicker meat shields. He'll make you watch the whole thing.
     Reply
    Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. was starred Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of Jassen Jassen
    11/21/09

    @Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.: Either way, i should probably stop putting bits of cardboard in his wheels so it makes that "whap, whap, whap" noise when he rolls.
     Reply
    Jassen was starred Jassen was unstarred
    Image of Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip! Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip!
    11/20/09

    In reply to Gene Therapy Creates Superstrong Monkeys
    Dirty stinking apes.
     Reply
    Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip! was starred Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip! was unstarred
    Image of CmdrHunt (aka Clarence Colton) CmdrHunt (aka Clarence Colton)
    11/20/09

    @Belabras: now with Kung Fu grip!: Damn, dirty stinkin apes!
     Reply
    CmdrHunt (aka Clarence Colton) was starred CmdrHunt (aka Clarence Colton) was unstarred
    Image of goldfarb goldfarb
    11/20/09

    In reply to Gene Therapy Creates Superstrong Monkeys
    I'm glad scientists are working so hard on improving the poo flinging abilities of monkeys.
     Reply
    goldfarb was starred goldfarb was unstarred
    Image of JimBonJovi JimBonJovi
    11/20/09

    @goldfarb: A 78 percent increase in fling strength means that those poos are probably hitting you in the chest like a shotgun blast. Wheeee
     Reply
    Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. promoted this comment JimBonJovi was starred JimBonJovi was unstarred
    Image of bohica bohica
    11/20/09

    @goldfarb: those moats at the zoo just need to get a tad bit wider
     Reply
    Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. promoted this comment bohica was starred bohica was unstarred
    Image of Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H. Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H.
    11/20/09

    In reply to Gene Therapy Creates Superstrong Monkeys
    This is why I couldn't be a scientist. I read this and wished I worked in this lab just so when I got good results I could turn to my partner and say..

    "Hey, check it out! Look how big, strong, massive and veiney I just made macaque!"
     Reply
    Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H. was starred Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of tetracycloide tetracycloide
    11/20/09

    @Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H.: look at you working the homonyms.
     Reply
    tetracycloide was starred tetracycloide was unstarred
    Image of Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H. Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H.
    11/20/09

    @tetracycloide: Homonyms?! Listen pal, this is science and this is college. Me experimenting a little with macaque is perfectly normal and certainly not grounds for name calling.
     Reply
    Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H. was starred Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H. was unstarred
    Image of ManchuCandidate ManchuCandidate
    11/20/09

    In reply to Gene Therapy Creates Superstrong Monkeys
    Oh brave new sports.

    Too bad there isn't something that can turbocharge the brain, improve one's disposition/personality as well as the muscles. Many a jock has had the 10 million dollar body and 2 cent head.
     Reply
    Edited by ManchuCandidate at 11/20/09 12:46 PM ManchuCandidate was starred ManchuCandidate was unstarred
    Image of The_Sporean_Bob The_Sporean_Bob
    11/20/09

    @ManchuCandidate: Would you rather they have the massive brainpower to complement their great physicality?! My good sir, do you want us nerds to have no advantages?!
     Reply
    Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H. promoted this comment The_Sporean_Bob was starred The_Sporean_Bob was unstarred
    Image of Jassen Jassen
    11/21/09

    @The_Sporean_Bob: They will never take away the D20
     Reply
    Jassen was starred Jassen was unstarred
    Image of OW-Holmes:Bringer of Fear OW-Holmes:Bringer of Fear
    11/20/09

    In reply to Gene Therapy Creates Superstrong Monkeys
    Might I suggest that they do these tests in an underwater lab so in the inevitable event of evil super monkey escape they at least have no place to go.
     Reply
    OW-Holmes:Bringer of Fear was starred OW-Holmes:Bringer of Fear was unstarred
    Image of ManchuCandidate ManchuCandidate
    11/20/09

    @OW-Holmes:Bringer of Fear:
    Might I suggest, Samuel L Jackson to star in it?

    "Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking super monkeys in this motherfucking lab! "
     Reply
    ManchuCandidate was starred ManchuCandidate was unstarred
    Image of Erix_Cale Erix_Cale
    11/20/09

    @ManchuCandidate: He will get eaten up by the largest and strongest of the monkeys
     Reply
    AmishJohn promoted this comment Erix_Cale was starred Erix_Cale was unstarred
    Image of AmishJohn AmishJohn
    11/20/09

    @Erix_Cale: Or killed by crap flung at supersonic speeds...
     Reply
    AmishJohn was starred AmishJohn was unstarred
    Image of Erix_Cale Erix_Cale
    11/20/09

    @AmishJohn: Bruce Willis: "Hey watch out for that...."

    Samuel L. Jackson dies.

    Bruce Willis: "Shit"
     Reply
    Erix_Cale was starred Erix_Cale was unstarred
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