sweet, i'll sign up for that trial! so i'll be susceptible to even the tiniest of infection, so what, i'll just flex the infection out through my pores! ....oh yeah, i'll be that strong....
@EdificeComplex: You fool! The machines and the primates will unite in a symbiotic relationship and destroy us all! the machines will be the brains, the monkeys, the genetically modified super strong brawn!
Looks like am going to be the first against the wall when our freakishly large, super strong monkey overlords take over as i am suffering from their only current weakness. One of the side affects of taking the treatment is the need to take immunosuppressant drugs which means my cold would be deadly to them.
All my phlemgy brothers, learn Morse-Code so we can co-ordinate our international sneeze attacks.
On a serious note: This looks like a serious advancement for the curing of a number of diseases and conditions and i cannot wait to see how this will help improve the lives of a substantial number of people.
"researchers have increased strength and muscle mass in monkeys with a small genetic tweak"
Why go the genetic tweak route, when anabolic steroids already have the same effect?
Either way, bad bad idea. Haven't these people watched the various movies and TV show episodes that taught the rest of us that this doesn't end well for humans?
@Roklimber: Okay okay, yes, scary monkeys bad. Cripple people (me) who have one of those faaaabulous degenerative muscle diseases though... we're worse than raging primates. We have 300lb steel wheelchairs and napoleon complexes.
Give us the monkey juice and you won't get hurt, you feel me?
@BloggyMcBlogBlog: I think we can say that; currently Steroids have known side effects. The mokey juice does currently require immunosuppressant drugs. I think it will be a while before a full comparison between the 2 can be made.
@theCrippleCricket: Great, a rolling army of super strong ex-cripples with Napoleonic complexes hyped up on Monkey juice.
My uncle is gonna give me the biggest wedgie ever once he starts getting his shots. Knowing him he will mount blades on his wheels, fit his crutches with pump action shotguns and make me his personal meat shield when he decides to storm parliament.
@theCrippleCricket: That's a phone call i want to be there for when he makes it "oh hi, just wondering if my insurance covers fitting blades to my wheels and do i get a discount on ammo ?"
@Jassen: Don't forget to ask for the meat shield! We call those 'personal assistants' in mixed company, or 'butt-wipers' in cripple land.
And, sadly no, I didn't take the iPod attachment. Like cupholders, things that attach to the outer areas of wheelchairs are asking to get knocked off in a doorframe after a few too many margaritas.
@theCrippleCricket: Well while your in getting your monkey juice shots see if they can embed an ipod dock somewhere & some speakers (they have MP3 players in bra's so why not get it built in permanently) that way when you storm government in your flying robo chair you can play "flight of the valkyries" ;)
@Jassen: Naaah, once he's on the monkey juice, he'll probably just wedgie you, stick you to the ceiling by your shorts, then grab thicker meat shields. He'll make you watch the whole thing.
@Evil Tortie's Mom: R.O.A.C.H.: Either way, i should probably stop putting bits of cardboard in his wheels so it makes that "whap, whap, whap" noise when he rolls.
This is why I couldn't be a scientist. I read this and wished I worked in this lab just so when I got good results I could turn to my partner and say..
"Hey, check it out! Look how big, strong, massive and veiney I just made macaque!"
@tetracycloide: Homonyms?! Listen pal, this is science and this is college. Me experimenting a little with macaque is perfectly normal and certainly not grounds for name calling.
Too bad there isn't something that can turbocharge the brain, improve one's disposition/personality as well as the muscles. Many a jock has had the 10 million dollar body and 2 cent head.
@ManchuCandidate: Would you rather they have the massive brainpower to complement their great physicality?! My good sir, do you want us nerds to have no advantages?!
Might I suggest that they do these tests in an underwater lab so in the inevitable event of evil super monkey escape they at least have no place to go.
11/21/09
Not to mention that we have speech and technology, and have shown the ability to make other species extinct entirely by accident...
It doesn't much matter if supermonkeys somehow become the norm, we still win easily.
-Kle.
11/20/09
11/20/09
What do you mean they can shoot with their feet?
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Sorry, had to go there.
11/20/09
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11/20/09
All my phlemgy brothers, learn Morse-Code so we can co-ordinate our international sneeze attacks.
On a serious note: This looks like a serious advancement for the curing of a number of diseases and conditions and i cannot wait to see how this will help improve the lives of a substantial number of people.
11/20/09
Why go the genetic tweak route, when anabolic steroids already have the same effect?
Either way, bad bad idea. Haven't these people watched the various movies and TV show episodes that taught the rest of us that this doesn't end well for humans?
11/20/09
Give us the monkey juice and you won't get hurt, you feel me?
11/20/09
11/20/09
Oh, I have nothing against doing this research to benefit people. I'm just concerned about the monkey-led carnage. :)
11/20/09
My post was made in jest.
11/20/09
11/20/09
My uncle is gonna give me the biggest wedgie ever once he starts getting his shots. Knowing him he will mount blades on his wheels, fit his crutches with pump action shotguns and make me his personal meat shield when he decides to storm parliament.
11/20/09
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PS: did you take the ipod attachment ?
11/20/09
11/20/09
And, sadly no, I didn't take the iPod attachment. Like cupholders, things that attach to the outer areas of wheelchairs are asking to get knocked off in a doorframe after a few too many margaritas.
11/20/09
11/20/09
#tips
11/20/09
Although i wouldn't be surprised if Steve Jobs doesn't have a secret lab somewhere working on iErogenous zones.
New Blue-tooth iNipples: Now you can control all you iDevices with just one tweak.
11/20/09
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"Hey, check it out! Look how big, strong, massive and veiney I just made macaque!"
11/20/09
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Too bad there isn't something that can turbocharge the brain, improve one's disposition/personality as well as the muscles. Many a jock has had the 10 million dollar body and 2 cent head.
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11/20/09
Might I suggest, Samuel L Jackson to star in it?
"Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking super monkeys in this motherfucking lab! "
11/20/09
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11/20/09
Samuel L. Jackson dies.
Bruce Willis: "Shit"