Monday:

Heroes -
Matt takes a risk trying to rid himself of Sylar as Noah, newly launched on his "helping" kick, asks Tracy to help a boy who's similar to her younger self, on NBC at 8 PM. Gretchen and Claire are, of course, headed for some good old-fashioned hazing, but they definitely have larger problems facing them.

Castle -
Novelist Castle (Nathan Fillion) learns that a dead man wearing vampire teeth is discovered in a graveyard ... with a stake through his heart. The ensuing investigation leads him and his partner to uncover a group of vamp fetishists, and a victim who was writing a graphic novel. Also, Fillion changes back into his familiar browncoat while discovering the faux-vampire's body.

Bloodlines: The Dracula Family Tree -
It's not a new special, but in the interest of Halloween on Saturday, on the History Channel at 10 PM is a look at the historical roots of the Dracula legend, not surprisingly tracing it back to the Romanian Vlad Tepes (aka Vlad The Impaler) from the 15th century.

Tuesday:

Ghost Lab -
The brothers visit Chicago on Discovery Channel at 10 PM to probe a tattoo parlor, and ghostly prostitutes who haunt a bed-and-breakfast that used to be a bordello.

<em.2009 Scream Awards -
The fourth annual show awards the best in horror, scifi and fantasy genres, and this year, on Spike at 10 PM, George Romero receives the Scream mastermind Award, to be presented to him by Quentin Tarantino. Footage from New Moon will be aired, though it's not clear whether it will be new or a mash of the same stuff we've seen.

Movies:

The classic Peanuts movie It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown is on ABC at 8 PM.

Wednesday:

MythBusters -
The team tests out kitchen myths on the Discovery Channel at 9 PM, including cheese's suitability as cannon fodder.

Ghost Hunters -
Colorado's Briarhurst Manor is home to a ghostly child and female spectre, on Syfy at 9 PM.

Destination Truth -
Are there werewolves in Romania? On Syfy at 10 PM, the team investigates Romanian sightings and heads to Chile to file reports on a dinosaur-esque creature.

Eastwick -
On ABC at 10 PM, as the magic-ridden town prepares for its own version of Christmas, the women are floundering: Roxie has visions of a funeral, while Kate tries to help Joanna win Will back. (Do you think the women will defy expectations and dress for Halloween as a psychic, a man-eater and Mother Earth? That'd be unexpected.)

The Real Wolfman -
Stories of a wolfman terrorizing the French countryside get aired, on the History Channel at 9 PM. Criminologist George Deuchar and cryptozoologist Ken Gerhardt use modern tech to figure out the truth about the "real" wolfman.

Movies:

Hayden Panettiere, Tim Curry, Jay Leno and Lauren Bacall give voice to Scooby and the gang in Scooby-Doo an the Goblin King, as they try to stop a carnival magician from turning the gang into Halloween monsters, on Cartoon Network at 6 PM.

Thursday:

FlashForward -
The team works to figure if the attacks on Mark, Demetri and Janis were a coordinated effort by the same group, on ABC at 8 PM. Of course, at home, Olivia is all abuzz over her discovery about Mark's own future glimpse. Lloyd's autistic son Dylan goes missing, and Simon makes contact again. Plus not only does Dominic Monaghan join the show, so does True Blood's Bon Temps pot-stirrer Daphne.

Vampire Diaries -
Vicki the Vamp can't resist her own blood lust and ends up making the school's haunted house extra scary. And on CW at 8 PM, psychic Bonnie surprises Damon with her ability when he tries to repossess a necklace that she has.

Supernatural -
A witch plays high-stakes poker with Bobby, letting him wager 25 years of his life up against freedom from his wheelchair. When he loses and Dean tries to save him, he begins to age into an old man too — on the CW at 9 PM.

UFO Hunters -
On the History Channel, beginning at 8 PM, is an hour of interviews about UFO sightings and those close to them. First, an investigation of mysterious men threatening eyewitnesses, followed by an examination of Area 52, a theorized UFO research base in Utah.

Movies:

Thir13en Ghosts is on AMC at 10:45 PM. A collector dies, leaving his fortune, which happens to include some ghosts on his property, to his nephew.

Friday:

Ghost Adventures Live! -
On the Travel Channel at 8 PM, a crew is locked inside the Trans-Alleghey Lunatic Asylum in West Virginia, reportedly one of the nation's most haunted sites.

Smallville -
Mia (a.k.a. Speedy), a young girl Oliver offers to train, double-crosses him, on the CW at 8 PM. And Lois asks for Clark's help pursuing an on-air TV news host gig, but matters get complicated when the station offers the gig to both of them as a pair.

Stargate Universe -
The water supply dwindles (Seriously? Yes.) on Syfy at 9 PM. As such, Col. Young and Lt. Scott visit a frozen planet for drinkable water, while the crew tries to track an intruder.

Sanctuary -
A superhero gets trapped by Magnus on Syfy at 10 PM, but his lack of finesse throws the team off. Meanwhile, the discovery of remnants of an eggshell puts Will and Declan on the trail of a creature loose in the city.

Movies:

Meet the immortal Lestat on Syfy at 6:30 PM, in Interview with the Vampire.

Saturday:

Ghost Hunters Halloween Live -
On Syfy at 7 PM is a six-hour special that allows you to give feedback during the program. This year, the annual Halloween investigation is at the Essex County Hospital and hosted by Josh Gates of Destination Truth.

Movies:

AMC is running all-day marathon of spooky delights including Young Frankenstein, Amityville Horror, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, 13 Ghosts, and Return to House on Haunted Hill to name a few.

The Syfy Channel will be running a marathon as well with Final Destination 1 & 2, Interview With A Vampire, and lots of helpings of Ginger Snaps.

Spike is playing Friday The 13th Part III at 12 PM.

FX is running I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, Ghost Ship, The Invisible, and Constantine on repeat for the morning then, of course Halloween and Halloween H20 starting at 4 PM.

The 1941 Spencer Tracy version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is on TCM at 8 PM.

Sunday:

Movies:

V -
Beginning at 1 PM on Syfy, revisit the original 1983 miniseries about aliens invading Earth and the humans trying to stop the takeover. Both parts are showing, and are immediately followed by 1984's sequel miniseries, V:The Final Battle, picking up with L.A. alien fighters.

Monday:

House -
A police officer with a fear of heart disease heads to Princeton General on FOX at 8 PM. Because that's what apparently killed the last three generations of men in his family at age 40, he's terrified of the same. But was that really what it was? Also, the Darth Vader dictator's case is still hanging over Chase's head (I love House, but I'm so over this storyline) and House faces ghosts from his past ("ghosts"? We can hope).

Heroes -
On NBC at 8 PM, the newly found Sylar is led by Samuel on a voyage of self-discovery, while the arrival of Hiro proves fortuitous for Emma and her abilities. Meanwhile, Peter is asking Noah for help finding someone to heal Hiro.

Big Bang Theory -
Wil Wheaton guest stars as a participant in a trading card competition. Turns out Sheldon has a deep seated resentment for him, so he enters the competition too. Also, Wolowitz asks Penny to set him up with one of her friends, on CBS at 8:30 PM.

Extreme Paranormal -
A team of paranormal investigators, on A&E at 10 PM, use extreme measures (such as replicating deaths to "invoke" the ghosts of those killed in a 1980 riot) to find what's haunting the New Mexico State Penitentiary.

Movies:

Experience the flaming-skull magic once again! Nic Cage is Johnny Blaze in Ghost Rider on FX at 8 PM.

Tuesday:

Nova -
Lizard expert Eric Pianka tracks down the elusive monitor lizard in Australia, and showcases them using "lizard-cam" technology on PBS at 8 PM.

Ghost Lab -
The brothers head to Chicago on Discovery Channel at 10 PM and also to the Mortuary in New Orleans.

Movies:

A San Francisco detective helps an alien cop track down an otherworldly murderer in Alien Nation, on the Fox Movie Channel at 8 PM

Wednesday:

Spectacular Spider-Man -
It's Valentine's Day and Peter jeopardizes his relationship with Liz Allen to stop a meeting between Tombstone, Hammerhead and Doc Oc. And on Disney XD at 9 PM, only Spider-Man can head off the impending gang war.

Ghost Hunters -
On Syfy at 9 PM the team probes Chicago's Congress Theater's claims of floating apparitions and disembodied voices.

MythBusters -
Which has better gas mileage: clean cars or dirty ones? On Discovery Channel at 9 PM, it's the "hangover episode," where Tori, Kari and Grant study myths stemming from beer and liquor.

Destination Truth -
Incan ruins are investigated on Syfy at 10 PM and the team looks for evidence of a humongous bird in Alaska.

Eastwick -
Some sorta of crazy moon beam eclipse thingy is affecting the women on ABC at 10 PM, and it's leading them all to free their inhibitions. Meaning, Kat gets freaky on top of a piano, Roxie and Mia have an awkward moment with the cute brothers they're each involved with and Joanna runs a troubling story.

Movies:

On Disney at 8 PM, Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire. One of Sabrina the Teenage Witch's aunt has a date with The Nanny's employer, who happens to be a vamp, too.

Thursday:

FlashForward -
On ABC at 8 PM, Mark has to answer to the Senate, in order to get the team funding and I hope we get to see more of his flash-forward in the process. Janis (the possibly pregnant-in-the-future FBI agent) questions her flash in regards to her current relationship status. Also, Olivia finds out some interesting tidbits about Mark's flash — possibly about the prevalence of alcohol in it?

Movies:

Bill Murray and crew are headed out to protect the city on AMC at 5:30 PM for Ghostbusters II.

Friday:

Batman: The Brave and the Bold -
On Cartoon Network at 7:30 PM we finally get to hear Neil Patrick Harris as the Music Meister as he uses his power to hijack a satellite, so he can control people with music... and take over the world. Yay for singing villains.

Ghost Whisperer -
On CBS at 8 PM, the whisperer must help Chad Lowe come to terms with his past and the ghost that's making him pay for it.

Smallville -
Oliver's kidnapped by Victoria (aka Roulette) and warned that his life is danger. Then, when he's arrested for Victoria's death, Oliver turns to Chloe for help. Also, Ms. Lane is upset with Clark for keeping Oliver's suicide attempt a secret, all on CW at 8 PM.

Dollhouse -
Finally, the way Sierra came to be a doll is revealed when she faces her Rossum Corp connection as an Active, on FOX at 9 PM. And of course, her link includes obsession and murder. This episode is directed by Jonathan "Will Riker" Frakes, who also directed several episodes of Roswell.

Stargate Universe -
Destiny seems primed for a collision with a star, and of course all her power goes out, too, leading the crew to consider abandoning her on Syfy at 9 PM. With a name like Destiny, though, are they serious? Apparently so, as they hold a lottery to fill the only working escape shuttle.

Sanctuary -
Magnus takes in those ousted by the Cabal in the attacks on the Tokyo and London sanctuaries, and Kate sets a one-of-a-kind creature free, on Syfy at 10 PM.

Movies:

An Alien breeds inside Sigourney Weaver, on AMC at 8 PM.

Saturday:

Movies:

Silly college kids take a wrong turn and end up mixed up with real (live?) deadly ghosts in Ghost Town on Syfy at 9 PM.

Sunday:

Movies:

On Encore at 10:15 PM Pierce Brosnan tries to warn of an impending volcanic eruption a little too late, in Dante's Peak.

Monday:

House</em -
On FOX at 8 PM Foreman's preparing to explain the death of a dictator to the review board, while King Midas incarnate is realizing just how cursed he is when his son falls under House's care ... or, Foreman's care, as the team remains his for now.

Heroes -
Lydia's alarmed on NBC at 8 PM, when Samuel tries to extend his brood. Peter makes a connection with a reluctant Emma over some swooshy lights, and Sylar tries to remember who he used to be. Also, Gretchen reveals her hidden agenda to Claire, and we get the lesbian kiss many people have been watching this season for. But then what will we watch it for after that?

Big Bang Theory -
Immigration is coming for Raj unless he gets a new job, so Sheldon hires him. When did Sheldon start a business? Also, Howard really doesn't get the concept of third wheel with Leonard and Penny on CBS at 8:30 PM.

Movies:

Global warming attacks the planet and Dennis Quaid must save ... as many as he can in The Day After Tomorrow on FX at 5:30 PM. Psyche yourself up for 2012 with a reminder of Emmerich's appetite for destruction.

Tuesday:

Ghost Lab -
The brothers examine the evidence of ghosts in Arizona, including a full body photograph of an apparition, on Discovery Channel at 10 PM.

STARZ: INSIDE ZOMBIEMANIA -
Move over vamps — zombies have risen to take over. Richard Roeper hosts a look at Zombies through the film lens of history on Starz at 10 PM. The piece takes look at zombies and their starring roles in films being with 1932's White Zombie and up to 28 Days Later. Writer/director/zombie aficionado George A. Romero and the author of Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z, Max Brooks, are featured along with others influential in the zombie movement.

Movies:

After zombies on Starz, at 11 PM watch a plague infect residents in Quarantine.

Wednesday:

Ghost Hunters -
TAPS heads north of the border on Syfy at 9 PM to investigate Canada's Fort Henry, the nation's most haunted locale.

Destination Truth -
The team enjoys a Turkish dance troupe on Syfy at 10 PM.

Eastwick -
Joanna's ex-fiance (wait, what?!) surprises her before her date with Will tonight on ABC at 10 PM. Meanwhile, Roxie starts investigating her killer roommate, and Kat turns to a divorce attorney — finally.

Movies:

Joshua Jackson is a photographer who's haunted by mysterious images of a woman who supposedly died in a car crash in Tokyo, in Shutter, on HBO at 5:30 PM.

Thursday:

FlashForward -
Remember Bryce? The suicidal doctor? On ABC at 8 PM, he thinks a flash is the key to a patient's recovery but Olivia's skeptical (and with her trouble with flashes, who wouldn't be?). Demetri and Mark's flashes are dividing them and Nicole (the creepy kid's babysitter) shares her flash: murder. Wait, wasn't she trying to atone for the future previously?

Vampire Diaries -
Stefan's on a truth kick and reveals to Elena his family's history, and how his rivalry with Damon got started. Damon, meanwhile is trying to take control of Vicki's life, causing, well, some problems obviously. And the sheriff and mayor try to keep every safe-ish on CW at 8 PM.

Supernatural -
The boys are traveling again, this time to see an 11-year-old boy whose beliefs all come true. Too bad his conjurings also include the monsters of lore. Cas thinks this child's a threat and wants him... taken out, on CW at 9 PM.

Fringe -
On FOX at 9 PM the team started decoding dreams when people are being turned into monsters via what sounds like a backdoor in their brains. And Broyles meets with Nina Sharp — whoa, is more lip-locking action in store?

Movies:

On Cinemax at 5:45 PM is the Edward Norton-version of Incredible Hulk, featuring two spectacular cameos by Lou Ferrigno.

Friday:

Batman: The Brave and the Bold -
The Dark Knight returns to Cartoon Network at 7:30 PM, to fight the metal man Shrapnel, with OMAC by his side.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars -
On Cartoon Network at 8 PM, Padmé is investigating a Separatist conspiracy, when the Jedi Council asks for her help.

Ghost Whisperer -
Melinda heads to the morgue when she's haunted by the ghost of a surgeon who's stuck reliving a failed operation on CBS at 8 PM.

Smallville -
The Blur is becoming an outlaw, and who knows how he'll react when Jor-El gives him the power to hear people's thoughts. Elsewhere, the Toyman is crashing a Queen Industries party to get to Oliver and force him to admit he killed Lex on CW at 8 PM.

Stargate Universe -
On Syfy at 9 PM, the ship's power reserves dip to a critical level, and the crew is ordered to use the power for essential services only — but we've seen how well they obey orders already. Plus, Rush announces they won't survive past a few days, so that should help with the whole "morale" thing.

Sanctuary -
The Cabal attacks sanctuaries around the world, using Ashley in support of their cause. Tesla an Henry try to defuse the the onslaught, without killing Ashley of course, on Syfy at 10 PM.

Movies:

Gene Hackman stars as a man fending off death in the ocean in The Poseidon Adventure on FMC at 6 PM.

Saturday:

In lieu of their usual Saturday night movie, Syfy is doing a Saw mini-marathon. The puzzle begins at 4:30 PM and covers the first three movies.

Sunday:

Super Hero Squad Show -
A bratty little kid gets control of the world with the help of a sparkly magic tiara. Time for the squad to think like kids if they want to save the world, on the Cartoon Network at 7 PM

Venture Brothers -
The Bros. are back, and Captain Sunshine is joining them. Plus, is Brock seriously gone for good?!? Find out on Cartoon Network at 11:30 PM.

Movies:

Wolvesbayne is a new movie about a werewolf hero who takes on a vampire cult, on Syfy at 9 PM.

Monday:

House -
James Earl Jones plays an African dictator charged with crimes against humanity, who's checked into the hospital. Meanwhile, Wilson is still dealing with the crazy-addict-without-an-outlet House on FOX at 8 PM.

Heroes -
On NBC at 8 PM, Hiro tries to forget his own problems by helping strangers in trouble. Angela tiptoes with Nathan around his past and Tracey makes a splash in an effort to get her job back.

Big Bang Theory -
Furthering complicating your DVRing, on CBS at 9:30 PM Sheldon tries to Pavlov's Dog Penny, but using chocolate, instead of ... dog food or whatever. The other single boys try to pick up women at a Goth nightclub, and let's hope that Leonard and Penny actually have better sex soon.

Movies:

Please join me in reliving your childhood, and watch Halloweentown on Disney at 8 PM. Debbie Reynolds lives in a town where Halloween is a way of life. All Hallow's Eve is now threatened and she and her grandchildren must save the day in typical Disney fashion.

Tuesday:

The Universe -
Space based weapons and battles! Tonight on History Channel at 9 PM Universe covers the possibility of such awesome epicness — what it could look like, how it'd work, and and just how destructive it would truly be. Let's hope they cover lasers and death stars.

Ghost Lab -
Discovery Channel has their own paranormal/ghost hunting team now and this new show at 10 PM sends their team to Louisiana to investigate the haunting claims of Shreveport Municipal auditorium an Myrtles Plantation. Basically, this team uses tech and science to explain strange phenomena.

Movies:

Jurassic Park, where dinosaurs are the inhabitants and humans are the dessert, is on Cinemax at 5:45 PM.

Wednesday:

MythBusters -
The boys are back in town on Discovery at 9 PM, with bullets and socks. Tonight, they solve the question: which will hit the ground first, a falling bullet or a fired one? And they also try to determine if you can literally knock someone's socks off.

Ghost Hunters -
Tonight on Syfy at 9 PM the team investigates the USS Salem for bumps... and, oh yeah, ghosts.

Destination Truth -
The destination gang travels to Chile to probe about a possible UFO sighting on Syfy at 10 PM.

Eastwick -
Roxie's haunted by a ghost, and that creepy ant lady from the pilot, Bun, is awake from her coma. She knows more about Darryl than we're privy to yet, but now she's obsessed with a curious symbol (is it the same one as on Roxie's murdering neighbor?) and Kat is refusing a divorce lawyer ... and maybe even a divorce? And of course our trusty investigator Joanna is digging away on ABC at 10 PM.

Movies:

Milla Jovovich and female empowerment may be the only reasons Oxygen is showing the zombie/corporate greed-fueled epic Resident Evil: Apocalypse at 8 PM. But there are many, many reasons to check it out.

Thursday:

FlashForward -
That creepy German prisoner we've seen in previews is finally showing up, when Mark and Janis travel to Germany to ask him for some "important information" about the blackout. Demetri, with his newfound knowledge of his death day, is all abuzz over some more terrible news, and Aaron (Mark's AA buddy for those of you having trouble keeping up already) turns to Mark for help exhuming his daughter's body, or at least where it should be. The show's already large ensemble gets bigger, on ABC at 8 PM.

Vampire Diaries -
Stefan is carefully revealing bits and pieces about his past to Elena, who goes on to hear some strange and scary things about the Salvatore fam. Psychic Bonnie seeks out her grandmother for help discerning an learning more about her ... ability, on CW at 8 PM.

Supernatural -
The Paris Hilton episode is here! Rejoice in her self-satirizing willingness to be exploited on television. Or just revel in her terrible acting and incredible stung-casting as a celebrity-impersonating demon (or ghost?). Tonight on the CW at 9 PM, the citizens of a small town are dropping at the hands of dead icons, like ... Abraham Lincoln? And James Dean's car?

Fringe -
On FOX at 9 PM, Olivia and the Scooby gang are hunting down shape-shifters, and Walter is busy making a cocktail for Liv to help her remember what Spock told her in the other dimension.

Movies:

An army of vamps has a blood orgy in Alaska, in the graphic-novel adaptation 30 Days of Night on Encore at 8 PM.

Friday:

Star Wars: The Clone Wars -
Cad Bane's new mission, on Cartoon Network at 8 PM, is to kidnap kids who are force-sensitive and bring them to Mustafar for Sith training.

Ghost Whisperer -
Eli's father has a heart attack that leads him to a reunion with his dead mother. Turns out she had a secret before her death, and it must've been a whopper because she hasn't crossed over yet. The secret's out on CBS at 8 PM.

Smallville -
Lois is infected by a zombie plague that Zod has cursed upon the city. The cure is in the blood of a Kryptonian, but Clark can't get involved without revelaing his identity to Zod, on the CW at 8 PM.

Dollhouse -
On FOX at 9 PM, Echo is a free-wheeling coed and Victor is a psychotic nephew. So needless to say, they have a tiff while imprinted.

Stargate Universe -
On Syfy at 9 PM a search team combs a desert planet for a vital mineral necessary for restoring life support aboard the Destiny. But it turns out their window of opportunity is closing fast. Also, Chloe reachies out to her mother, using the communication stones.

Sanctuary -
Afterward, on Syfy at 10 PM, the season premiere gives us Magnus as she's searching for Ashley, putting her and her allies at odds with con-artist Kate Freelander: a woman with ties to the Cabal, who divulges secrets almost immediately.

Movies:

The sequel that should really only exist inside a sealed-off virtual world, The Matrix Reloaded, is on MTV at 7 PM. Have yourself a chocolate-cake orgasm, with the sequel that proved trilogies aren't such a great idea.

Saturday:

Movies:

The venerable Brittany Murphy stars in Megafault on Syfy at 9 PM. More importantly, Green Arrow himself, Justin Hartley co-stars. When an earthquake threatens to split the world, a seismologist and a miner get involved. What're they gonna do? Stitch it back together? Sure, why not.

Sunday:

Movies:

Did you know they made a Butterfly Effect 3? It's appropriately called The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations and is on Syfy at 7 PM. Basically, time-traveling boy accidentally unleashes a serial killer while trying to solve the mystery of his girlfriend's death.

Monday:

House -
How long will we have to suffer with this kinder, gentler House? Probably not for too much longer, as Foreman is now in control of the medical scooby gang. Can't wait to see which upstart doctor House makes cry this time, over on FOX at 8 PM.

Day After Disaster -
In the event of a nuclear attack, the first 24 hours are the most critical for deciding how many people live or die - so says the History Channel. Learn the Department of Homeland Security's plan for a nuclear attack on Washington D.C. at 8 PM.

Heroes -
While dealing with the repercussions of his heroism, Peter meets a new woman with special abilities. Claire is dealing with the ripples of her choices as well, with the revelation of her secret to her nosy new roommate. Elsewhere, Samuel hunts for memories of his brother, and Matt deals with the return of Sylar. Come on, NBC: let's keep this "not horrible Heroes" streak going, at 8 PM.

Big Bang Theory -
Lewis Black guest stars as an entomologist helping the boys settle a bet regarding the species of a cricket on CBS this week. Back on the ranch, Leonard and Penny are trying a different approach after awkward intimacy check at 9:30 PM.

Movies:

The Teen Titans track down criminal mastermind Brushogun in Teen Titans: Trouble in Tokyo on Cartoon Network at 6:30 PM.

Tuesday:

The Universe -
Studying star clusters, both open and globular, and what they reveal about the nature of galaxies and the expansion of the universe. Make a wrinkle in your brain with the History Channel at 9 PM.

Movies:

In The Eye, Jessica Alba gets some poor dead girl's eyes, and suddenly she can see. As if that's not crazy enough, she begins to see dead people — not in the same awesome way as Haley Joel Osment, more in a totally creepy way that requires her to hunt down the original owner of her eyes. That's on Showtime at 8:15 PM.

Wednesday:

Ghost Hunters -
Famous rocker Meat Loaf (no, seriously) heads out with the team to investigate an allegedly haunted island in New York. This will be the first Ghost Hunters that we're actually excited about. But if he doesn't sing, we're out. Eddie is back at 9 PM on the Syfy Channel.

Destination Truth -
Ghost sightings near the site of the Chernobyl disaster send Josh and the team to the Ukraine on Syfy at 10 PM.

Eastwick -
So just who is that devilishly handsome stranger that rode into town on the back of the wind who can stir up sex? And exactly how does one stir sex? Well ABC is determined to show you, in a PG manner, at 10 PM. Joanna and Penny try to unearth some real facts about Darryl Van Horne, talking to a reporter and an eccentric shut-in. Back in town, Roxie and her daughter deal with the repercussions of her "date night" and Kat tries to get out of her marriage without resorting to killing her husband.

Movies:

The most recent, anti-climactic X-Files movie — that's The X-Files: I want to Believe in case you've already blocked it out — is on Cinemax at 8:15 PM.

Thursday:

FlashForward -
What's more important than the present? Every person on the planet is now a prophet, and it's terribly dangerous. Or maybe magically delicious. As the cast struggles to figure out how to bring forth, or avoid, their individual visions, we see more characters, more offshoots, and more of Dominic Monaghan. But who was that mysterious figure in the Detroit Stadium and why, of all places for the FBI to be checking, did they decide to hit up that venue first? All the answer will most likely not be explained, on ABC at 8 PM.

Vampire Diaries -
The CW continues to push the vampire fetish right off a clip at 8 PM. This week Elena allows Stefan to take her to the Founder's Party where of course temptation incarnate, Damon, tells her about his family's past — leading Elena to question Stefan to no avail.

Supernatural -
All I really want is to see Sarah Palin as President in the post-apocalyptic world of 2014. Don't get me wrong - definitely, NEVER EVER in real life. But tonight, as the literal bromance spends more time apart, we see an alternate reality where the Alaskan runs the country, Sam becomes Lucifer's vessel, and Castiel loves orgies (despite how well his last sexual foray went). On CW at 9 PM.

Fringe -
This week on "what will Walter say next," a bomb goes off at a Philadelphia train station. The gang is stumped, Peter is sassy, Olivia is tough and they all go to Iraq because: time peg! Let's hope this means we're dragging skeletons out of Peter's closet, since he spent quite some time there. Don't miss the Easter Egg-filled goodness on FOX at 9 PM.

Movies:

Marvel's spinoff The Meteor Man makes his movie debut (and finale?) as a bumbling inner-city superhero battling crime, and heights. On BET at 8 PM.

Friday:

Star Wars: The Clone Wars -
The second season begins tonight with two episodes, as Cad Bane attempts to steal a Jedi Holocron and Anakin and Ahsoka hunt him down. Cartoon Network delivers the Star Wars we never even knew we wanted, but now can't live without, at 8 PM.

Ghost Whisperer -
There is an evil chain mail this week. Seriously an EVIL CHAIN MAIL. So in order to avoid getting caught up in the EVIL CHAIN MAIL link, send 4 emails to CBS asking them to bring back Moonlight. Then watch Ghost Whisperer at 8 PM, or just send CBS the emails...your call.

Smallville -
John Corben is transformed into a cyborg after a car accident. As a machine man, he uses his newfound strength and powers to hunt down The Blur, and kidnaps Lois to do so. We're still waiting for CW to roll out the Wonder Twins episode, so we can stop watching already. But Brian Austin Green, who plays Corben, will tide us over until then. Don't miss the shirtless Kryptonite-powered cyborg action at 8 PM.

Dollhouse -
Echo's maternal instincts kick in on the job when she's imprinted with the emotions of a new mother. Alexis Denisof returns as Sen. Perrin and continues his hunt for the prostitution ring known as the Dollhouse. And Adelle visits November, because maybe she's not as done as a doll as we previously thought. Fox rolls out the second episode of Dollhouse season two, at 9 PM.

Stargate Universe -
The "darkest installment of the" Stargates launches this week, with a two-hour premiere, calculated to give even newbies a chance to jump in. Robert Carlyle plays Dr. Nicolas Rush, a man intent on ... well, actually we're not entirely sure. He does, however, assemble a team to tame the mysterious ninth gate, which leads to an undiscovered expanse of space. Eli, played by David Blue, is the young hotshot Rush has brought along to "voluntarily" lend his brain. The third Stargate show gives us familiar cast members (with guests Amanda Tapping and Richard Dean Anderson) but a much darker Stargate this time around — and forget exploration: the piecemeal team must work on surviving, first and foremost, on Syfy at 9 PM.

Spoiler alert? Witness two possible deaths in this four-minute preview from Syfy.

Movies:

Nic Cage uses his powers of future vision to help prevent a terrorist attack in Next on FX at 6 PM. So ... how can he foresee an attack if his "power" only allows him a two minute glimpse into the future?

Saturday:

Movies:

In a description so boring and vague that you have to wonder why they're hiding that obvious images of demons and the devil, a young Christian girl has her faith shaken when suicides rock her small town, in From Within on Syfy at 7 PM.

Sunday:

Raging Planet -
The fury of blizzards are examined on the Discovery Channel, via computer simulations. The 1995 "arctic hurricane" that devastated Tromso, Norway, is examined using archival footage and testimonials. Moral of the story? Don't get caught in a blizzard if you can avoid it. Those suckers are earth wreckers. Unleash the furry at 10 PM.

Movies:

The Incredibles makes you wonder if Marvel and Disney weren't in bed before now, on the Disney Channel at 9 PM.

Monday:

There's a Tru Calling marathon on Syfy from 8 AM through 3 PM.

Super Hero Squad Show -
Hulk, Thor, Iron Man, Wolverine, Captain America and more fight villains around the world, including the cuddliest version of Dr. Doom ever. Then they all hang out with Barack Obama, because that is all superheroes do anymore. Two episodes begin on Cartoon Network at 7 PM.

Movies:

Billy Bob Thorton stars as a farmer who decides to build his own rocket in his back yard in The Astronaut Farmer. Cook some french friend potaters and watch it on AMC at 8 PM. Oh wait... eh, nevermind.

Tuesday:

There's an all-day Sanctuary marathon on Syfy during normal work hours, call in sick and hang out with the monsters and Amanda Tapping's fake accent.

The Universe -
A look at ringed planets includes Earth (for its human-made satellites) and dissects what the rings reveal about the origins of galaxies, on the History Channel at 9 PM.

Warehouse 13 -
Here's hoping we continue to see more karmically cursed Claudia, strong-willed Artie and a less depressing Pete this week. This week at 9 PM on the Syfy, Myka heads off to visit her father (remember her daddy issues from a few episodes ago?) and finds half an artifact once belonging to Edgar Allen Poe. Was her turn in the Warehouse more fated than we've been led to believe? Regardless, the other half becomes problematic at a high school in Oregon.

Surviving Disasters -
If you live in hurricane country, or desperately believe the apocalypse will bring with it major floods, tonight at 10 PM on Spike, Cade is going show you how to cross flooded streets and a fast-moving river, and how to get to higher ground. And even take refuge in abandoned homes.

The Colony -
The post-apocalyptic colonists and their plans for a scout vehicle are underway while they begin customizing their escape truck. Where are they escaping to? No clue. But meanwhile, traders return, bringing dismay to some and causing tempers to flare, on Discovery at 10 PM.

Wednesday:

Ghost Hunters -
Why do they always hunt in the dark? Alright, may be that's a stupid question, but still, come on guys! This week at 9 PM on Syfy the team heads to New Jersey to probe the Union County Courthouse in Elizabeth with the help of Bruce tango.

Destination Truth -
Spirit possessions are investigated in Mexico, including a creepy, eye-opening experience playing with dolls. Also, the team heads to the Bahamas for island spirits, on Syfy at 10 PM.

Movies:

Denzel Washington is a time-shifting government agent who heads backward to try to stop a terrorist attack, in Déjà Vu on FX at 8 PM.

Thursday:

Fringe -
Agent Olivia Dunham, and everyone's favorite mad-hatter scientist, return! Of course when we left them, the former was in an alternate universe with Leonard Nimoy and the twin towers, and the latter was crying over ... his son's grave? Tonight, Congress decides to take an interest in the Fringe division, and Olivia finds her way back to her own dimension whilst hunting down a mysterious entity that's chasing her — but when isn't a mysterious entity hunting our "special" agent down? So, will the sexual tension peak this season? Will we get more Original Spock? Is the blonde agent going to have some other-dimensional competition for sexiest brooding FBI problem child? Hopefully not, probably not, and most definitely. Season two begins on FOX at 9 PM do not miss it!

Vampire Diaries -
Vicki is recovering from her attack, and starts to remember bits and pieces of what happened. Stefan, of course, is dying to prevent her from actually recalling the events of the evening. Elena is off meeting hottie Damon, who reveals secrets of Stefan's past and Jeremy struggles with feeeeeelings, on the CW at 8 PM.

Supernatural -
Sam and Dean must save small-town inhabitants, when they are confused by a spell causing them all to act like demons and commit murder. Can't this world ever stay saved? The second episode of this season is on the CW at 9 PM.

Here's three clips from tonight's ep:

Movies:

Gary Sinise's doomed Mission to Mars in on Syfy at 9 PM. Red Planet versus Mission To Mars — which is better? Fight!

Friday:

Eureka -
Say farewell to the Eureka townfolk and their can-do attitude, in the season finale on Syfy at 9 PM. The third season (part two) ends with Tess receiving a great new job offer ... in Australia, and Zoe gets ready to leave for Harvard. Carter, meanwhile, is off avoiding his female issues and instead dealing with a magnetic disturbance above the town.

The Troop -
A boy named Jake heads this live-action, CGI-blended show that Nickelodeon is branding as comedy/scifi. Jake wants to create his own comic book and is recruited by a school counselor to join The Troop, a group that aims to protect the world from other-wordly creatures and monsters. Three eps air tonight on Nickelodeon beginning at 8 PM.

Movies:

One of very few women who can shave her head and still look beautiful (that's Natalie Portman, for you not following) stars in the film adaption of Alan Moore's V for Vendetta on MTV at 10 PM.

Saturday:

If you've been clamoring for a darker version of Jumanji, have no fear - it has been made, folks. And it stars everyone's favorite doll, Eliza Dushku on Syfy at 9 PM. Open Graves chronicles the trails of silly American students studying in Spain as they come across a sinister board game. One where the loser ... well, dies, naturally.

Sunday:

Since I know you, like me, are mourning the end of True Blood's season, feel free to keep Vamp Sundays alive with Ann Rice's Interview with the Vampire, on Syfy at 6:30 PM.

Monday:

An all-day marathon of Ghost Hunters turns into a mini-marathon of Ghost Whisperer on Syfy beginning at 8 AM with TAPS, and switching to Jennifer Love Hewitt's whispers at 7 PM.

Movies:

James Bond proves the real meaning of Anglo-Soviet cooperation in a love pod and we get probably the coolest car ever in the form of a suborghini in The Spy Who Loved Me on BBC America at 4 PM.

Tuesday:

Warehouse 13 -
Artie's being questioned by Mrs. Frederic and the Regents, as Pete and Myka and Claudia are stuck in the Warehouse facing a fiery predicament — that may very well make all thousands of the artifacts in the house go haywire, on Syfy at 9 PM.

Surviving Disaster -
This week at 10 PM on Spike, learn how to traverse a burning building, navigate through flames and flame-filled corridors, how to break through walls and even how to rappel to safety from a burning building (all handy tools for the apocalypse).

The Colony -
One colonist, Joey, has a kidney stone; with no electricity and no communication with the outside world, just how painful will it be? Mike and Vlad head out on a recon mission and run into a dangerous situation. Still not sure if this reality TV show on Discovery at 10 PM has the ability to convince me that the contestants truly believe in their make-believe surroundings — maybe fake kidney stones will work this week. I still think they should start a zombie outbreak.

Movies:

Nic Cage dons the flaming ghost head of terrible acting, in Ghost Rider. Cage plays Johnny Blaze, the devil's bounty hunter, and sucks Eva Mendes into his fiery web (yes, that was a comic mix of metaphors) on FX at 7:30 PM.

Wednesday:

Ghost Hunters -
There's a Syfy series cross over at 9 PM tonight, Josh Gates of Destination Truth joins TAPS as the group heads inside a New Jersey prison in the hunt for stuck souls.

Destination Truth -
The premiere for this "is it real and can we touch it... No? okay" show is on at 10 PM on Syfy. Josh Gates attempts to explain supernatural sightings around the globe.

Movies:

Arnold attempts to foil Satan's plans for conquering the world on New Year's Eve 1999 in End of Days on AMC at 8 PM.

Thursday:

Vampire Diaries -

Dear Diary,
This year, I asked for a great campy vamp show to get me through the long winter weeks without True Blood. Instead, I have been given this show about a brooding, orphaned teenage girl and the vamps who love to smell her in the hallways. Yet another vamp adaptation from books.
Thanks a lot.

Elena is beyond happy to capture the attention of Stefan during the first days at a school, where everyone looks too old and too pretty. The dark hottie in her history class who sometimes has fangs is enchanting trouble. On the plus side, LOST's Ian Somerhalder stars as the even hotter villain. Witness Ian's terrible villainous laughter on the CW's 8 PM series premiere.

Supernatural -
The fifth season opens as brothers Dean and Sam have helped to bump up the date for the apocalypse, and Lucifer has come to Earth to prove it. They must also deal with the sad news from Chuck the Prophet that Castiel was blown away by the archangels. On CW at 9 PM.

Movies:

Genetically altered sharks terrorize those experimenting with them — and don't miss the best ever Samuel L. Jackson CG tirade — in Deep Blue Sea on Syfy at 9 PM.

Friday:

Eureka -
Syfy is wrapping up this genius-town show, at 9 PM. It's Tess' first day in charge at Global Dynamics, an Arctic ice core drops the temperature in Eureka drastically and to top it all off, Dr. Jim Taggart returns to town. Tess will no doubt be having a case of the Mondays.

Movies:

Quarantine the remake of 2007 Spanish horror film [REC] and shaky cam film extraordinaire, chronicles the last night of an apartment building, on Starz at 7:30 PM.

Saturday:

The venerable Hercules — Kevin Sorbo — stars as a small town hero in the made-for-tv movie Lightning Strikes, in which a monster rides a lightning bolt (!) down to the ground on Syfy at 9 PM.

Sunday:

True Blood -
The season finale of this breasts-and-blood epic airs tonight. True chaos finally takes over, as Maryann casts Sookie in a starring role in her grand sacrificial ceremony. Sophie-Anne lays down instructions for Eric regarding Bill, Hoyt may finally be pulling out of his mother's grasp, Jason kicks a little ass and hopefully, Eggs gets scrambled. Do not miss our last hour of HBO's slutty vampires at 9 PM.

The Girl Who Cries Blood -
A blood specialist travels to India to check out a girl who spontaneously cries blood and tries to explain it. I've got it — she's a VAMPIRE, oh and she's related to this kid. Thanks to True Blood for bringing to light this sign of vamps. Witness the eye bleeding at 9 PM on the National Geographic Channel.

Defying Gravity -
The ship goes on high alert when a solar flare may result in deadly levels of radiation. Also, the mysterious force cooped up in Pod 4 makes its presence felt, but not quite seen yet. Are you guys thrilled, or excited this dramatic scifi series is wrapping up? Watch the end on ABC at 10 PM.

The channel added 7% to their adults aged 18-34, and 4% to their overall viewership, according to the press release, with the final episodes of Battlestar Galactica and the ever-present Ghost Hunters and Ghost Hunters International leading the way in viewers, making the network the fifth watched basic cable channel for the month (Last March, they were 8th). Considering that the network is already growing its female audience at such a rate, it'll be interesting to see if the channel's rebranding in June will change these numbers in any way whatsoever, really.

Sci-Fi Jumps to Number 5 in Adults 25-54 for March [The Futon Critic]

According to a press release from the Sci Fi Channel itself, 2008 saw audience growth of around 7% overall, with a staggering 14% increase in women aged 18-49 (or 12% increase among Women 25-54, if you'd rather skew a little older). The network is now the ninth-most watched cable channel in the US in the 18-49 demographic, and the fifth in the 25-54 age group.

Most Valuable Player for the channel seems to be Ghost Hunters, which gained an additional 41% viewership this year, and won its Wednesday timeslot in both 18-49 and 25-54 agegroups. No surprise, then, that the release about the success of the channel was followed by one announcing that Ghost Hunters has been renewed for a sixth season.

There is light at the end of the tunnel for those who fear that the future of the channel is just reality shows, however - despite positive mentions for Destination Truth and Scare Tactics - Eureka and Sanctuary are singled out for their ratings in addition to the concluding Battlestar Galactica and Stargate: Atlantis, with Eureka actually delivering more total viewers than Ghost Hunters (2,972,000 versus 2,783,000). All we have to do now is get even more people to watch Eureka and show TPTB at Sci Fi that they should invest in more drama than supernatural phenomenon series...

SciFi Scores Best Year Ever in all Key Demographics [TV By The Numbers]