The universe is full of evil masterminds, whose schemes seem too brilliant to defeat — until, of course, they're defeated. But often, those schemes depend on one lowly minion, and if you just took out that henchperson, the masterplan would never have gotten off the ground. Here are 10 evil schemes that depended on an…

Besides the subject mentioned in the headline, today’s “Postal Apocalypse” includes a historical look at butt-wiping technologies, how Cobra gets its funding in G.I. Joe, the worst Star Wars prequel quote, and more. It is possibly my favorite “PA” ever. Please, please keep those awesome questions comin’ to

By now you've seen the shiny chrome face of Cobra Commander in G.I. Joe: Retaliation (it was in the trailers). The mask is truly a glorious departure from the terrible clear scuba gear from the former Joe movie. But this Cobra Commander might not have had any mask at all! Early G.I. Joe: Retaliation concept art from

There’s a very simple test to figure out if you’re going to enjoy G.I. Joe: Retaliation. Imagine a kid, playing with his toys, creating an epic, albeit not entirely coherent adventure for them; then imagine someone turned everything that kid imagined into a big-budget movie. If that sounds horrible to you, don’t go see …

Saving the world from a snake-themed terrorist organization with seemingly limitless resources isn’t an easy job, but someone’s got to do it. Or, more specifically, lots of someones, as G.I. Joe hired countless troops throughout the ‘80s and ‘90s to fight the good fight. Unfortunately, not all highly specialized…

Ninjutsu, the art of the ninja, is an ancient, closely guarded tradition of stealth, martial arts and assassination that is only taught to the most skilled of Japanese warriors… and pretty much any white dude who happens to be in the neighborhood. Seriously, it’s like ninjas have their own version of Affirmative Action …

With his evil terrorist organization having a few monetary problems, it appears Cobra Commander has turned to Kickstarter to find the funding for COBRA. The sad thing is that if this were an actual COBRA plot to make $94 billion and not merely a desperate plea for $94 billion to rebuild Cobra Island, it would…

Okay, they've shown us the scene where Snake Eyes shoots Storm Shadow's throwing stars out of the air, and they've also shown us the scene where Snake Eyes and Jinx fight a bunch of red ninjas on the side of a mountain. But now this 4-minute G.I. Joe: Retaliation clip bridges these two scenes together, and as it…

One of the first G.I. Joe movie's (many, many) problems was that the best fight scene in the movie was between two 10-year-olds. While the Joes and Cobras were dicking around, little Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow beat the shit out of each other, and now it looks like their adult selves are ready for a rematch just as…

Despite the terribleness of the first film and the second film's weird delay, I remain generally pretty positive about G.I. Joe: Retaliation. And this first clip from the movie, in which Bruce Willis and The Rock have a brief chat and then shoot/blow up a great, great many things, does nothing to change that. However, …