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The 15 Dumbest Superhero Retcons Of All Time
Who Won't Be Green Lantern?
Green Lantern Movie Finally Takes Flight
Which Green Lantern Is The Greatest Of Them All?
Must Read: Green Lantern: Rebirth

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rek
11/18/09

In reply to The 15 Dumbest Superhero Retcons Of All Time
Finally an article about mainstream franchise comics on io9 that tells it like it is. They exist to perpetuate a property, not to tell a story. Anything that contradicts the image gets written out in next summer's big "event".
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Islandkiwi
11/17/09

In reply to The 15 Dumbest Superhero Retcons Of All Time
I'm of the belief that the Green Lantern/Parallax storyline has rejuvenated the series, and should be applauded. I never read Green Lantern before Parallax, but I have ever since. #spiderman
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rek
11/18/09

@Islandkiwi: How would you know it rejuvenated the series if you hadn't been reading it prior to that storyline?
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Jack_Burton
11/17/09

In reply to The 15 Dumbest Superhero Retcons Of All Time
Skeletor in Filmation's awesomely bad He Man and the Masters of the Universe TV series had the greatest escape-schtick:
"I've got to think of myself!" he would say, as he sneaked off to leave Beastman or someone else to take the rap. #spiderman
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schrodingers-katana
11/17/09

In reply to The 15 Dumbest Superhero Retcons Of All Time
Though I loved Straczynski's run on Spidey and hated the way Quesada handled the "One More Day" ret-con, I have to say that despite my misgivings, I've quite enjoyed how Brand New Day has been done so far. I think it has breathed new life into the franchise and took the character back to a familiar place while simultaneously taking him in a new direction. #spiderman
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Garrett Steele
11/17/09

@schrodingers-katana: I couldn't agree more. I hated, hated, hated One More Day. Sure, it makes sense to sacrifice my marriage to my wife to give back the six months that my 78-year-old aunt has left in her. After all, that's what May would want, right? I mean, selfishness of that caliber has always been a hallmark of her character.

That said, and as much as I didn't want to admit it at first, Spider-Man is awesome right now. It's smart, funny, classic super-hero action and it's a blast to read. I just wish they hadn't hadn't used a sledgehammer to bring us to this point. #spiderman
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schrodingers-katana promoted this comment Garrett Steele was starred Garrett Steele was unstarred

schrodingers-katana
11/17/09

@Garrett Steele: Yeah, that's Quesada for you though. The guys about as subtle as a gun-shot from a magnum. I just picture this think-tank of writers who couldn't be bothered to come up with something believable (hell, I'd have taken the Beyonder screwing with shit over the route they took) despite the fact they were being paid to come up with something that actually made sense. What the hell did they do, write a bunch of names on index cards and throw darts to figure out what to do?

@Jesse Astle: Yeah, can't really argue much with you there. I just hope we're not returning to the mind-numbing stupidity of the mid to late 90s again. I couldn't deal with that again! #spiderman
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darkmoonfirelyte
11/18/09

@schrodingers-katana: Just can't do it. I refuse to buy Spider-man books now, no matter how good they are.
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schrodingers-katana
11/18/09

@darkmoonfirelyte: That's a shame, you really are missing out, but I don't blame you for your reasoning. It was a very stupid to set up the ret-con.

#calendar
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daveNYC
11/17/09

In reply to The 15 Dumbest Superhero Retcons Of All Time
Not only are the plots garbage, but about 60% of the artwork is too. The one of Peter and MJ in bed is just painfully bad.

And I thought that the plot of Magneto ripping out Wolverine's adamantium was bad. #spiderman
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Aidan_
11/17/09

In reply to The 15 Dumbest Superhero Retcons Of All Time
You got it backwards about Parallax/Green Lantern. The original story sucked, and the ret-con making Parallax the embodiment of fear was awesome. Or, well, as awesome as any band-aid over that gaping wound could be. Anyway, it gave us back Hal Jordan and the Multi-Lantern aspect of the mythology, so I'd say the ret-con was successful. #spiderman
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Im_your_Huckleberry
11/17/09

@Aidan_: That was spot on. I agreed with all of that #spiderman
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PostMarque
11/17/09

In reply to The 15 Dumbest Superhero Retcons Of All Time
wasn't Pixie, the magical teleporting fairy with a piece of her soul missing but in the form of a dagger, dead at one point? #spiderman
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schrodingers-katana
11/17/09

@PostMarque: Not to my knowledge, I've read just about teverything she's been in since she was first given the spotlight in Yost and Kyle's New X-Men run, and I can't think of anything like that happening with her. It is possible, however, that I missed that storyline, but I've never even heard it mentioned, so unlikely. #spiderman
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PostMarque
11/17/09

@schrodingers-katana: i dont remember what it was in. but i remember there was a girl with the 2007 appearance of pixie being carried in by cyclopse who was talking about the dead girl he was putting on the table. #spiderman
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schrodingers-katana
11/17/09

@PostMarque: Ohh... I think that was one of the earlier issues of Astonishing, that was a random anonymous mutant they were testing the cure on, if I'm not mistaken. #spiderman
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PostMarque
11/17/09

@schrodingers-katana: damn, i think you were right. or Joss wanted to fuck with pixie fans. #spiderman
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SJ_Edwards
11/17/09

In reply to The 15 Dumbest Superhero Retcons Of All Time
I still think that retcon where it turns out the dude hadn't been a draft dodging, alchoholic, cocaine addict, who's daddy had, kept out of jail, over and over again, and set up in businesses that he ran into the ground, over and over again, was the worst one.

I didn't much like the sequel either. #spiderman
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Rocketknight
11/17/09

In reply to The 15 Dumbest Superhero Retcons Of All Time
And people wonder why I bitch about American comics.

I have Spider-Man: The Other in a drawer a few feet away. I hate reading that fucking story every time I'm bored and feel like reading through my small collection of comic books. #spiderman
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bitgod
11/17/09

In reply to The 15 Dumbest Superhero Retcons Of All Time
Wow, I'm really glad I got out of comics around 97. I still read some here and there, but the whole x-men cluster-f makes me puke. #spiderman
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PostMarque
11/17/09

@bitgod: i'm confused by the current state of the xmen franchise. i understand that they went from New York to San Fran to a former asteroid base that is now a floating island... that sounds a lot like Genosha. #spiderman
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schrodingers-katana
11/17/09

@PostMarque: It's Magneto's "Asteroid M" from the early 90s stories. I like what Fraction has done with Uncanny, and X-Men has been pretty solid ever since Carey took over. I don't know that I've enjoyed Warren Ellis' run on Astonishing as much as Whedon's. Of course, I'm still annoyed with the latter for what he did with Kitty Pryde....

For the most part, I enjoy the direction the X-franchises have taken over the last few years, with some exceptions. But to be honest, Peter David's X-Factor is the only one I'd recommend to anyone wholeheartedly (especially with him bringing back Shatterstar and exploring the relationship with Rictor). #spiderman
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PostMarque
11/17/09

@schrodingers-katana: there was a few months of xfactor i got sick of. the artwork wasnt what i like. i was guessing at who the the charecters were. but i got really into it since the shatterstar and rictor reuinion. That seemed to be the turning point.

However, I am going to miss Layla Miller knowing stuff. #spiderman
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edicius
11/17/09

@PostMarque: Yeah, it's disappointing that we now know the whole story behind Layla since she's been such a fantastic, mysterious character - but by the same token, we at least get some closure with her as well. Probably one of the most compelling X-characters in a while, because she didn't really fit any particular mold.

However, I'm actually curious now as to when she discovered her "real" mutant power. #spiderman
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PostMarque
11/17/09

@edicius: she healed a dead bird in the park before floating down river

plus the whole metal upload #spiderman
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schrodingers-katana
11/17/09

@PostMarque: Me too. I think I know who you're talking about, the artist who was pencilling around Secret Invasion time right? Yeah, that guy was just awful... I'm not the best at drawing by any stretch, but if that's the level of talent required to draw for Marvel, then I might have to submit some work. #spiderman
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PostMarque
11/17/09

@schrodingers-katana: you have to test out new styles and artists sometimes. i do understand it. but doing that for XFactor and what they did to the Young XMen... just awful... comeon they just crapped all over that franchise. #spiderman
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WizarDru
11/18/09

@schrodingers-katana: Point of Law: Asteroid M has been around since 1964. The version the X-men are using is from that version. Magneto made a new one in 1978, then again in 1990.
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edicius
11/18/09

@PostMarque: Oh yeah, duh. I need to re-read that ish apparently.
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PostMarque
11/18/09

@edicius: it's wednesday... do you know what that means... NEW COMIC DAY
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schrodingers-katana
11/18/09

@WizarDru: Hmm, weird, I never even heard about the previous two before. Of course, being born in '83, I didn't have access to much of the older issues, so that might have something to do with it.

What's that make it in comic book years between asteroids? 5 years, 10, 15, however many the current writer wanted it to be? It gets so confusing.. :)

#calendar
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omgwtflolbbqbye
11/17/09

In reply to The 15 Dumbest Superhero Retcons Of All Time
About the Xorneto thing...

Actually the reason the retcon occurred wasn't cause Marvel got antsy about Magneto dying.

Quite contrarily, they probably should have gotten used to it by now since by most counts, Magneto is the X-Men character who has had the most 'fake' deaths and returns through the franchise's history (everyone cites Jean but she actually only died 2-3 times which is on par for most X-people).

The real reason that Marvel retconned Morrison's Magneto storyline was cause fans and editors felt that it basically tainted the character's reputation beyond repair; Magneto's entire bit is that he's supposed to be a well-meaning and reasonable super-villian, but Morrison had 2 issues of Magneto literally recreating the concentration camps and crematoriums of Nazi Germany on an even grander scale, all within post-9/11 New York, and sending entire families of homo-inferior to die in them (he executed at least a few hundred by story's end).

Morrison did try to give an out within the story by having Magneto under the influence of the drug 'Kick', but nonetheless, he was still commuting mass genocide. In an interview, Morrison basically said he was expressing his frustration about the Marvel universe continuously trying to paint Magneto in an apologetic light for so many years just because he had a depressing origin story. When it came down to it he though Magneto was still a tremendous bigot, and his mentality of survival of the fittest/ my people over everyone else's made him a total bastard of the highest degree andeven worse a hypocrit. Really, if things turned out his way, he would inevitably end up repeating the crimes against him perpetrated by the very people who inspired his righteousness in the first place.

This viewpoint upset some people, others thought it made sense and actually makes for some lively debates on comic-centric forums I visit whenever it's brought up.

Nonetheless, Marvel got uncomfortable with the implications and did the really around the bend Xorneto retcon. And I think their motives we're pretty clean when in the very issue the 'real' Magneto is reintroduced after these events, they have Professor X describing all the atrocities 'Xorneto' did and Magneto grimly talks about how he can't believe people could think he would really be capable of such a thing.
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Edited by omgwtflolbbqbye at 11/17/09 12:26 PM omgwtflolbbqbye was starred omgwtflolbbqbye was unstarred

RoboBagins
11/17/09

@omgwtflolbbqbye: that is pretty interesting. But like you said it was done over 2 issues, stretched out and given time to play it, it would have been a really good look at the character . We pretty much had the Xorn = Magneto reveal and then wham bam shazam, Magneto is king dick of NY. It was whiplash, and the whole "Magneto on sentient Drugs bit" added to it makes it feel very cheap.

It's also a stark contrast to the rest of Morrison's excellent run on New X-men. It felt so out of place and 5th grade-y. Also it just felt wrong to destroy a genuine creepy Xorn with that reveal. Really. #spiderman
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Garrison Dean: R.O.A.C.H.
11/17/09

In reply to The 15 Dumbest Superhero Retcons Of All Time
I'm reminded why I only read comics in small bursts (Civil War,Hellboys) or standalone stories (Y,DMZ,ExMachina). #spiderman
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Ruthless, If you let me
11/17/09

In reply to The 15 Dumbest Superhero Retcons Of All Time
I am so glad that I got out of Spiderman before this OMD/BND nonsense. #spiderman
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salthegeek
11/17/09

In reply to The 15 Dumbest Superhero Retcons Of All Time
This is why I don't read superhero comics. Too may stupid shenanigans like these. #spiderman
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BadUncle
11/17/09

@salthegeek: Yup. You'll never see this kind of crap in a Chaykin book. #spiderman
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AngriestGeek
11/17/09

In reply to The 15 Dumbest Superhero Retcons Of All Time
The "rape-conning" is the worst. Notice how no male heroes have to be sexually assaulted. #spiderman
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Tim Barribeau
11/17/09

@AngriestGeek: They're in the minority, but there are a couple. I didn't include them as they weren't technically retcons (as with a huge number of female cases). Nightwing was raped by Tarantula while nearly unconscious, and during the 90s Starman run the lead was raped by a woman while sedated. It's pretty rare. #spiderman
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AngriestGeek
11/17/09

@Tim Barribeau: Yes, but not as a retcon by some misguided writer thinking he's making the character more "interesting" when all he's doing is getting back at the girls who rejected him in high school. #spiderman
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deworde
11/17/09

@AngriestGeek: Really? DAMIEN Wayne. That is all. #spiderman
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AngriestGeek promoted this comment deworde was starred deworde was unstarred

AngriestGeek
11/17/09

@deworde: Batman was not raped. His DNA, however was misused. #spiderman
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Mr.Anansi
11/17/09

@AngriestGeek: Batman was drugged. Maybe he was sedated but he wasn't exactly in control of the situation. That sounds like rape to me. #spiderman
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AngriestGeek
11/17/09

@Mr.Anansi: In all the Bruce and Talia couplings I've seen, including Son of the Demon where Damien was conceived, he has not been drugged. #spiderman
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deworde
11/17/09

@AngriestGeek: [cache.gawker.com] #spiderman
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