Seven insane minutes of people explaining how '80s toys are satanic

Dear fellow children of the '80s — remember how we all turned into Satanists? If only we had listened to author Phil Phillips and Pastor Gary Greenwald back then, two men who realized the demonic agenda in everything from He-Man to the Smurfs. Someone assembled this video of their greatest hits, and it is mesmerizing. » 10/31/13 2:40pm 10/31/13 2:40pm

What killed the Golden Age of Cartoons?

Um, you guys realize it’s the government shutdown that leads directly to the mysterious apocalypse that destroys the U.S. and which I now currently wander around in delivering mail, right? I don’t want to ruin the surprise, but you should all start stocking up on underpants. Better than gold nowadays. Just sayin’. » 10/09/13 8:30am 10/09/13 8:30am

This massive Lego Masters of the Universe line needs to be real

Alex Jones, a.k.a. "Orion Pax", is a well-known Lego customizer who's just finished his magnum opus as far as I'm concerned — a nearly complete, shockingly accurate, and thoroughly awesome Lego version of practically the entire Masters of the Universe toyline, including the figures, vehicles and even the playsets! » 9/03/13 9:00am 9/03/13 9:00am

Why There Should Never, Ever Be a He-Man Movie

I am a He-Man fan. A huge one. The amount of money I’ve spent on Masters of the Universe toys, new and old, is frankly tragic. Of all my favorate franchises — Star Wars, Game of Thrones, Saga, Avengers, whatever — it is by far my favorite. So please understand I’m not saying this lightly: There should never, ever be… » 8/09/13 8:00am 8/09/13 8:00am

How two dumb kids with an axe almost destroyed She-Ra

Contrary to popular belief, He-Man’s biggest foe wasn’t Skeletor, and She-Ra’s wasn’t Hordak. What they both fought more than anything was the incredible stupidity of their friends, teammates, and general populaces of Eternia and Etheria. Case in point: “The Missing Axe,” in which She-Ra and her friend Bow risk it all… » 6/06/13 9:00am 6/06/13 9:00am

DC gets ready for Superman Vs. He-Man, round 2

If, like me, you were wondering why DC had recently given the blond barbarian a "New 52"-ish redesign, wonder no longer — it turns He-Man and the Masters of the Universe are coming to the DC universe in a crossover reminiscent of Supes and He-Man's first battle in the '80s. The six-issue miniseries begins in August. » 5/13/13 7:00am 5/13/13 7:00am

A critical analysis of David Bowie’s crotch bulge in Labyrinth

Besides the subject mentioned in the headline, today’s “Postal Apocalypse” includes a historical look at butt-wiping technologies, how Cobra gets its funding in G.I. Joe, the worst Star Wars prequel quote, and more. It is possibly my favorite “PA” ever. Please, please keep those awesome questions comin’ to » 4/17/13 8:05am 4/17/13 8:05am

Is the Game of Thrones TV show finally going off the rails?

Ah, spring is finally here! And you know what that means for your friendly neighborhood post-apocalyptic fake mailman — no more trudging through the snow and sleet! Which means I can stop burning mail to stay warm! You know, between the letters I answer instead of delivering and the mail I've burned, it's amazing I… » 4/10/13 8:00am 4/10/13 8:00am