Human Centipede
It's been such a slow burn for this disgusting little film. All we've had to go on were the terrible pictures and synopsis about a mad scientist who kidnaps some poor souls to create his own Human Centipede by sewing their heads and bums together, but now the first clip is finally out, and it's just painfully horrible. Enjoy...?


Surprisingly, we've been hearing all sorts of mixed reviews from London and down at Fantastic Fest. Thanks, or no thanks, for pointing this out Slashfilm.

Hissss


I completely missed this trailer when it leaked out a few months ago, but just because it's a bit old doesn't mean you should miss out on the gorgeous Mallika Sherawat slithering around like a snake god. According to the site, this film centers around the Curse of the Cobra Goddess: "anytime man desecrates or violates the cobra, they are doomed to suffer the petrifying curse of the snake woman, of death and infertility." And it looks like the snake goddess is brought out of the jungle and into the city... uh oh.

Stake Land
Here are super quick behind the scenes looks at Stake Land, where the world has been overrun with vampires and a group of survivors try and make it across the US without any bite marks. This is from the director who did the rat-people film Mulberry Street, which actually scared me in a few places, so I'm excited to see what he does with vampires. The behind the scenes clips are from actress Danielle Harris, who you all may remember from Halloween 2, but for me she's always the awkward sister from Disney's Wish Upon A Star.

Behind The Scenes
"Stake Land"

shootin a scene:)

Trailer

My Bloody Wedding
Quiet Earth pointed our attention to this hit-and-miss comedy that has a lot of great ideas, but kind of misses the mark on execution. Still, the main character (who is getting married to a recently possessed demon bride complete with demon bridesmaids) has a robot pal. We're a lot more interested in the robot than the actual wedding...


I can haz too?

Shorts:
Bunker
Here is a ten minute film shot with a RED ONE camera by Paul Doucet. This French short takes place at the end of the world where one lone survivor spends her days in an bunker waiting for contact from the outside world.

Legacy
From the mind of Grzegorz Jonkajtys, who brought us the beautiful short The Ark, comes Legacy about an alien coming down to Earth a bit too late...

Legacy from grzegorz jonkajtys on Vimeo.

Despite getting over 400k views, getting mentioned by Olivia Munn, and being called a racist, the best was hearing Mother Dean say with glee "Did you go viral?!" No video this week, but you better be damn sure there will be more in the future. I'm not even going to try to top last weeks yet (because you all said I couldn't) so here is some of the usual tomfoolery.


SYFY:
This week Sci-Fi made the switch. Getting tired of the constant requests for intelligent and actual science fiction from the nerds of the world they began to make the slow switch from specialized network to a homogenized, middle of the road, appeal to all, network that all cable channels seem to do. Remember a time when you would've been aghast at "Roadhouse" showing up on AMC? So they've re-branded themselves as a sort of hipster, free for all, paradise of imagination with SYFY. By eliminating the word Science Fiction they know they are shooing away those who had buttered their bread and they have a small marketing campaign dedicated just for them.


But at least they distinguish between geeks and nerds.



HULK VS. WOLVERINE:
There is a new Marvel Cartoon out and in this new still we can see Wolverine showing off some of the new ink he got on his last trip to Lake Havasu.



ENGINEERING DISASTERS:
Come on, am I that predictable? Nice try.



TRANSFORMERS:
New concept art was released this week that finally explains Devastator's nards. Here is a closeup of the piece.



IT'S A DISASTER!!!:
oh boy. Well a new Dutch produced film about a madman sewing women together butt to mouth makes "Boxing Helena" look like an exercise in good taste. All I can offer are two quotes from others and an image from myself to explain.

Dr. Ian Malcolm:
(They) were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf:
pfff. The Dutch.

Garrison Dean:



Garrison Dean's real name is not Garrison Dean and he is a liar. Though don't get too excited.

The Horde
I'm getting very excited for the zombies cops and robbers flick The Horde by Benjamin Rocher and Yannick Dahan. All of the set reports and stills we've seen so far have been lovely, and I'm hoping it's as pretty as it appears to be. The basic premise is a high rise stake-out/shoot-out between a gang of cops and a bushel of robbers has been interrupted by a herd of zombies. Will foe become friend to help escape the tower of doom? Who knows, but please let there be at least one French Mime zombie, please. Here's the latest teaser trailer:

Planet Of The Vampire Women
A cute little graphic poster and a few sexy stills have been released from this campy film, still in production. The vampire ladies themselves are band space pirates who:

pull off the ultimate heist only to crash into an unknown world. Finding themselves trapped on a storm-shrouded planet overrun with monsters, the intergalactic outlaws unknowingly awaken an unspeakable horror that causes the dead to walk...with an insatiable lust for blood!

For more stills check out Monster Island.

Humpty Dumpty
Remember a few weeks back when we talked all about alien rape and the film Humpty Dumpty? Well, new concept art was released of the backwater abode of Brakk Brothers Swamp House. We can only guess that this is the classy habitat of the villains that brutally assaulted a crashed down UFO, thus ending in the unholy human/alien half breed the movie is calling Humpty Dumpty.

Human Centipede

Ok now this is something so disturbing I'm not even 100% sure it does or should exist. The comedy Human Centipede is screening at London's Fright Fest (which is worth a look on it's own) and it's all about a mad scientist hell bent on making a real life human centipede by conjoining bodies butt to face, no seriously:

Outside the more outré work of Takashi Miike and David Cronenberg, you won't have seen anything quite like Dutch avant-garde artist Tom Six' totally bizarre off-the-wall oddity. Internationally respected Siamese twin surgeon Dr. Josef Heiter has a demented vision for mankind's future existence. He wants to remove human beings' kneecaps so they have to exist on all fours and then surgically graft them mouth-to-anus to form a centipede chain. When two stranded female Americans arrive at his luxury home-cum-hospital looking for help, his long-gestating plan swiftly moves into chilling action with a shocking force. Kidnapping a third Japanese male tourist he begins the tissue matches, teeth removal and buttock moulding to create his triplet creature… The First Sequence in Six's intended trilogy features truly unforgettable imagery, clinically dazzling direction and a so-far-round-the-bend mad doctor performance from German superstar Dieter Laser you'll scream. Behold the grotesque New Flesh. If you dare!

So, you can see where I had my doubts about the mere existence of this flick, and yet in these tiny pictures (I can't make them any bigger I'm sorry) you see a group of people with bandages on their knees, attached face to backside. Make of it what you will readers, it terrifies me.

Deadgirl

And finally, last week we showed you the new trailer for the deeply disturbing story about a group of teenaged boys and their love for a naked zombie girl tied up in their basement. In this new, highly NSFW clip, watch as one boy lovingly rubs dark lipstick all over his undead girls lips, because who wants to spend their days raping a zombie if she looks all tired?

Deadgirl is getting a small little release on July 24th, at these particular theaters:

Landmark Sunshine Cinema - NY
Screening July 24th & 25th @ midnight

Nuart Theater - LA
Screening July 24th @ midnight

Alamo Drafthouse Cinema - AUSTIN
Screening July 24th & 25th @ midnight

Landmark Tivoli - ST. LOUIS
Screening July 24th & 25th @ midnight

Music Box Theater - CHICAGO
Screening July 24th & 25th @ midnight

Grand Illusion - SEATTLE
Screening July 24th & 25th @ midnight

Inwood Theater - DALLAS
Screening July 24th & 25th @ midnight

River Oaks Theater - HOUSTON
Screening July 24th & 25th @ midnight

Fantasia Film Festival - MONTREAL
Screening July 24th @ midnight