Total Film asked a wide variety of actors and directors if they'd like to be involved in J.J. Abrams' upcoming Episode VII. As it turns out, yes, most actors would like to be part of a movie that will likely make $1 billion... except for Jason Statham, who is far too important to lower himself to Ewok-level.

There's a must-read interview with Jason Statham in the new issue of Details, in which he explains succinctly why greenscreen effects totally suck:

You know what to expect from Crank 2 in its very first seconds, when the words "Fuck You Chev Chelios" flash on screen in 8-bit videogame script. Because Chev is your hero. Spoilers ahead.

We shared a few minutes with Jason Statham's main Crank lady, and she spilled on upping the insanity-sex ante from the original, beating up Bai Ling, and a possible third Crank movie.

Crank 2's script may have been the "most offensive" Jason Statham ever read - but that was before costar Bai Ling rewrote it. Bai told us about catfights, upskirts and the craziest movie ever. Spoilers!

Chev Chelios is back, and we couldn't be happier. We're looking forward to Crank 2's insane antics, especially its 1,000 ways of torturing Jason Statham while keeping him sexy. New pics await you, below.

Pain, violence, gross pulsing veins — yep, Crank 2 is delivering all the goods I want from this cracked-out Jason Statham flick. Check out each poster separately below.