<![CDATA[io9: jedi]]> http://tags.lifehacker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/io9.com.png <![CDATA[io9: jedi]]> http://io9.com/tag/jedi http://io9.com/tag/jedi <![CDATA[Clooney Teaches Ewan McGregor To Be A Proper Jedi, In New Goats Trailer]]> The latest trailer for The Men Who Stare At Goats demonstrates George Clooney's Jedi/ninja skills. Check out his special warrior monk abilities, honed by the U.S. government for secret spy espionage. It's based on a true story!

The film is inspired by Jon Ronson's non-fiction bestseller. Ewan McGregor plays a reporter who's tracking down the rogue military mind jedi George Clooney — which is pretty awesome, seeing as McGregor played a jedi. Either way the film, which is directed by Grant Heslov, looks hilarious. Here's the official synopsis:

Reporter Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor) is in search of his next big story when he encounters Lyn Cassady (George Clooney), a shadowy figure who claims to be part of an experimental U.S. military unit. According to Cassady, the New Earth Army is changing the way wars are fought. A legion of "Warrior Monks" with unparalleled psychic powers can read the enemy's thoughts, pass through solid walls, and even kill a goat simply by staring at it. Now, the program's founder, Bill Django (Jeff Bridges), has gone missing and Cassady's mission is to find him. Intrigued by his new acquaintance's far-fetched stories, Bob impulsively decides to accompany him on the search. When the pair tracks Django to a clandestine training camp run by renegade psychic Larry Hooper (Kevin Spacey), the reporter is trapped in the middle of a grudge match between the forces of Django's New Earth Army and Hooper's personal militia of super soldiers. In order to survive this wild adventure, Bob will have to outwit an enemy he never thought possible.

Goats will be in theaters November 6, 2009 November 6.

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<![CDATA[First Men Who Stare At Goats Clip Unleashes Clooney's Combat Skills]]> Now that you've already seen the Jedi mind tactics from the mustached psychic soldier George Clooney, take a look at his hand to hand combat skills as he almost breaks Ewan McGregor's arm. Secret Government warrior monks are hilarious.

The film was inspired by Jon Ronson's non-fiction book about a secret government program to create a psychic military team that could read peoples minds, walk through walls, and kill a goat by staring at it, among other useful brain powers. They were called the First Earth Battalion and McGregor plays a reporter following around the greatest mind Jedi, Clooney, for the story. It moves at the speed of a Coen Brothers flick, and has Jeff Bridges in it. So chances are we'll be staring at Goats too.

Men Who Stare At Goats will be released into theaters on November 6th.

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<![CDATA[First Trailer For George Clooney And His Team Of Goat-Staring Military "Jedis"]]> The Men Who Stare At Goats features a long-haired drugged-out Jeff Bridges, men trying to run through walls, and hot mustached Clooney-on-goat action. The film, inspired by the military's secret psychic experiments, actually looks pretty hilarious.



The film was inspired by Jon Ronson's non-fiction book which explained how the government tried to create a psychic military team that could walk through walls, read peoples minds, tell the future and kill a goat by staring at it. The film looks like a fast paced comedy with a cast full of old pros, plus a pot-smoking Bridges in a braid can never fail. Here's the official synopsis:

Reporter Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor) is in search of his next big story when he encounters Lyn Cassady (George Clooney), a shadowy figure who claims to be part of an experimental U.S. military unit. According to Cassady, the New Earth Army is changing the way wars are fought. A legion of "Warrior Monks" with unparalleled psychic powers can read the enemy's thoughts, pass through solid walls, and even kill a goat simply by staring at it. Now, the program's founder, Bill Django (Jeff Bridges), has gone missing and Cassady's mission is to find him. Intrigued by his new acquaintance's far-fetched stories, Bob impulsively decides to accompany him on the search. When the pair tracks Django to a clandestine training camp run by renegade psychic Larry Hooper (Kevin Spacey), the reporter is trapped in the middle of a grudge match between the forces of Django's New Earth Army and Hooper's personal militia of super soldiers. In order to survive this wild adventure, Bob will have to outwit an enemy he never thought possible.

Goats will be in theaters November 6, 2009 November 6.

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<![CDATA[Mandalorians Rule Star Wars: TOR Trailer, But Will Lucas Put Them In His Live-Action TV Show?]]> The Old Republic video game has just released a Mandalorian 101 trailer, showing why these guys are an awesome pain in the ass to our Jedis. In other Star Wars news rumor has it Lucas may be speaking at SDCC.


Here's the official synopsis from the site, and yes if you were wondering that video is narrated by Lance "Bishop" Henriksen.

The Keeper of the Jedi Archives has entered a new holorecord. Continuing his investigation, Master Gnost-Dural delves deeper into the history of the galaxy after discovering that the blockade that Hylo Visz helped end was a result of the actions of the new Mandalore.

BTC 8 – During a Republic resurgence in the Great War, a bold young warrior rose to fame in the Gladiatorial arenas on Geonosis. Adopting the ancient and infamous title of Mandalore, this young leader amassed an army of Mandalorian mercenaries and bounty hunters. The new Mandalore led his forces to form a blockade and challenge the Jedi Order, effectively turning the tide of the war back in the Sith Empire's favor.

In other, very exciting news, TV Squad is hearing rumors are being leaked the George Lucas may stop by San Diego Comic Con to talk about the live action Star Wars television series supposedly gearing up to shoot in Australia as we speak. Or at the very least, Lucas may be piped in via videoconference. Let's hope he doesn't show up empty handed.

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<![CDATA[Mini Vodo Inspires Jedi From Beyond the Grave]]> If you can't wait to expand your Star Wars Miniatures game into new territory, we've got a treat for you. It's a sneak peek at one of the characters in the upcoming Jedi Academy expansion, who will quickly become your favorite tentacled pal.

Of course, you can see the full story over at Robot Viking, but here's a taste of what Ed Grabianowski has to say:

Master Vodo is widely considered one of the greatest Jedi Masters of all time. He lived thousands of years before the events depicted in the Star Wars movies, although a holographic version of himself shows up to share his ancient Jedi wisdom with Luke Skywalker. He trained many Jedi, some of them quite notable in their own right. Including Exar Kun, who apparenly had fear, which of course leads to anger . . . and that lead to Master Vodo suffering a gruesome death at the hands of his former pupil . . . Vodo essentially has one real Force power: Force Alter, which lets him shift probabilities and make opponents reroll crucial attacks. Master of the Force allows him to do this twice each turn, and with five Force points to spend, he could make for a very frustrating opponent. I like the way the Force Spirit power reflects Vodo's ability to inspire other Jedi even after his death.

If you want to see more upcoming characters for Jedi Academy, check these out.

via Robot Viking

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<![CDATA[Become a Jedi Knight in One Easy Lesson]]> There are many paths to becoming a Jedi. You can claim it as your religion on your census form. You can start attending a Jedi Church and vow to follow the Jedi Code. You can wear a hooded robe, utter pithy maxims, and take lessons in lightsaber dueling. But for those seeking a more academic approach to harnessing the secrets and powers of the Jedi, Queen's University Belfast is offering a class on "How to Train the Jedi Way."

The one-day course, “Feel the Force: How to Train the Jedi Way,” is part of Queen's open learning program and offers attendees insight into the psychological and spiritual influences George Lucas tapped in creating the Jedi:

Jedi might not be your religion, but you're still a fan. Learn the real-life psychological techniques behind Jedi mind-tricks – mindfulness, instinct, serenity, empathy, influence, flow. Examine the larger philosophical issues behind the Star Wars universe – balance, destiny, dualism, fatherhood, fascism and bureaucracy. Discover the academic mythologist who inspired George Lucas' story. Battle your dark side fear and aggression. Begin your own hero-quest. Light sabres [sic] not provided!

Instructor Allen Baird, who also teaches open learning classes on the psychology of happiness and becoming a human lie detector, believes that Star Wars can provide younger people with an appealing introduction to sociology and political thought:

"I suppose the parallel is with the Scout Movement's use of Rudyard Kipling's Jungle Book.

"It doesn't mean that one has to believe that the stories are true, but they can be used as a teaching aid. I am trying to find a platform through popular culture to bring people back to learning."

Personally, I'm holding out for the multi-week seminar on telekinesis and Force lightning.

Queen's University Belfast Open Learning
Star Wars Jedi Knights course offered by Queen's University Belfast [Telegraph via Reddit]

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<![CDATA[Game Your Way into the Star Wars Expanded Universe with a New Guide]]> A lot of Star Wars fans first discovered the expanded Star Wars universe via the Knights of the Old Republic video games. Now you too can create your own characters and experience the rich, exciting era that took place thousands of years before the saga of Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader. The Knights of the Old Republic Campaign Guide is a sourcebook for the current edition of the Star Wars role-playing game. It comes out this week, and we've got all the details, plus previews of some awesome interior art.

Even if you have no intention of ever playing the Star Wars RPG, the KotOR Campaign Guide is a pretty interesting book. There are detailed descriptions of Star Wars history and the lives of many main and supporting characters, along with ships, droids, weapons and alien races. The production values are top notch, with rich, full-color interior art, a clean layout and color-coded labels for each section. Here's a look at some of the splash pages that start off the sections:For gamers, this book is a feast of new rules. Wizards of the Coast has taken the force abilities, characters and weapons used in the KotOR video games and converted them into RPG form. While the SAGA rules system can be fairly complicated at times (it's a strange blend of 3.5 edition D&D with new 4th edition D&D elements, all customized for use in the Star Wars universe), this book offers plenty of options to players:

  • 10 new playable alien races.
  • 21 new feats.
  • 3 new prestige classes, plus updates to old classes.
  • 10 new Jedi powers, and two new Jedi talent trees.
  • 15 new droid types.
  • Dozens of characters, from Sith assassins to noble Jedi advisors.
  • More than 20 new starships.

My favorite part is the section on alternate Force beliefs. If you'd like to use Force powers, but don't subscribe to the black vs. white/Sith vs. Jedi dichotomy, you can follow an entirely different ethos. It's interesting to see how non-Jedis view their connection to the Force. Also, the characters, classes and droids in this book are tied to the Star Wars Miniatures set that we previewed last week. So if you want to play a Czerka trader with a T1 Bulk Loader Droid, you don't have to figure out how to represent yourself on the gaming table. Images by: Wizards of the Coast.

Knights of the Old Republic Campaign Guide
[via Amazon]]]>
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<![CDATA[5 Things We Want To See In The Clone Wars TV Show]]> By now you'll have seen the movie - or, perhaps, decided that you don't want to see the movie because even just the idea of Ahsoka has scared you off - and know what kind of thing to expect from the upcoming Star Wars: The Clone Wars TV show: Anakin Skywalker frowning a lot and hanging out with stormtroopers and stereotypically camp Hutt monsters. But that's not enough for us, so here are five additional ways that the Clone Wars could win our hearts.

Newness: One of my biggest problems with the movie was that we all knew that the majority of the characters were going to finish the movie pretty much as they started it, because we've all seen their futures in Revenge Of The Sith already. By introducing new characters whose fates we don't know, you bring in tension and hopefully the ability for stories that don't have to tread water when it comes to character development. The same goes for new aliens, new worlds - One of the great things about Star Wars when you were a kid was that it was full of cool new things, whether it was the Death Star, Jabba The Hutt, freezing Harrison Ford in carbonite or the creepy concept of incest. It'd be nice to get back to that with this new series. Except without the incest part.
Death: Alternatively, you could just introduce new characters to kill them off, as well. War is meant to Be Hell, people, so let's see the Clone Wars living up to that - There should be real cost to both sides for this to be worth the fact that characters were still talking about it during the original Star Wars trilogy.

Comedy: It's not that the Clone Wars movie doesn't try to be funny, just that it tries in the same way that the second trilogy tried... In other words, badly. One of the strengths of the original Star Wars movies were that they didn't take themselves too seriously (helped by having actors who didn't take it that seriously at all), and that kind of irreverence to the mythology is exactly what this new series needs.
Make The Jedis Cool Again: Yes, we all know that no-one really cares about that Midichloran thing from The Phantom Menace, but explaining away the Force was just one in a long line of steps that have taken away the mystery and magic of everyone's favorite lightsaber-wielding good guys since the original trilogy. Let's see some of that return in the new TV show... and if that fails, just put in lots of awesome lightsaber duels.

More Ziro The Hutt: Oh, you know you want that as well. He should do the opening of each episode, Rod Sterling-style: "Ah do declayah, those Jedahs are still fightin' those robots!" If ever a character has personified so many faults of a franchise (Unfunny, ill-cast and potentially offensive stereotype of a... gay slug... okay, maybe not that last one) and yet still somehow been as hilariously ridiculous as Ziro, I haven't seen them - but there's very little downside to seeing a lot more of this colorful citizen of Corsucant.

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<![CDATA[Darth Vader Goes Low Rent In New Jedi Attack]]> Years after you thought he'd reformed and ended his war against the Jedi, Darth Vader is back and making trouble for those who learn from the teachings of zen muppet Yoda. Or, at least, that's what a Welsh court heard recently, as they learned about one of the most amusing physical attacks caught on camera in recent memory.

According to the UK's Daily Telegraph, Barney Jones — who founded the first ever British Jedi Church, and goes by the name of "Jedi Master Jonba Hehol" when feeling particularly holy — and his brother Michael were attacked by a man wearing a black bin liner and "shiny black helmet" while being filmed talking about Star Wars by a local TV documentary crew.

Their assailant, Arwel Wynne Jones, had apparently lost his lightsaber given that he was instead using a metal crutch to attack the brothers as he repeatedly yelled "Darth Vader" at them. After defeating the Jones boys in hand-to-crutch combat, Wynne Jones then turned on the camera crew before attempting to escape into the dark (sith) night.

Wynne Jones - who now denies the charge - fled the court before his case was heard, prompting Judge Andrew Shaw to issue a warrant for his arrest with a line so perfect, George Lucas should be jealous:

I hope the force will soon be with him.
He then turned to the court clerk, said "The police force, that is!" and left the court while the Saturday Night Live band played "Here Come The Judge".

Judge issues warrant for Darth Vader impersonator who 'attacked Star Wars fans' [Telegraph.co.uk]

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<![CDATA[Can a Jedi Lightsaber Cut Through Superman?]]> Someone at Yahoo! Answers asks: "Can a Jedi lightsaber cut through Superman?" In other words: is Superman more powerful than a Midichlorian? You'll never be able to get this question out of your head without at least trying to answer it.

The team at Yahoo! Answers is somewhat split on the outcome; responses include "No. The lightsaber is a laser and lasers can not hurt superman" and "dude, lightsabers can cut through anything! even superman," but thankfully our nerd powers are strong on this one - The answer is, probably not, unless he's already been weakened by either magic or kryptonite at the time.

Of course, if the lightsaber in question is powered by a kryptonite crystal, then he's going to be in pieces faster than you could say "Cut off his hand! Cut off his hand!!!"

Can a Jedi lightsaber cut through Superman? [Yahoo! Answers]

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<![CDATA[Lightsaber Boy Saves Mom]]> Ruffians outside bakeries are no match for the power of the Force, it seems. An 11-year-old boy fended off his mom's attacker today in England with his lightsaber. Next he'll be trying to mind-trick his mom into extra servings of dessert. (Thanks, Rick!)

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