io9 
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San Francisco, 8:14 AM
Thu Dec 3
24 posts in the last 24 hours
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11/09/09
11/09/09
The one version of off-the-island I can see being successful would be a return to the end of the first book, when the increasing breeding population of raptors migrates to the mainland and they start getting odd reports of attacks on farms and the like- do "The Ghost and the Darkness" (the story of the Tsovo lions) with raptors in Costa Rica. Keep it out of urban areas, unless we have some jungle-skirting favela scenes somewhere, because it goes straight from homage to absurdity. So long as some attention is paid to what these escapes mean for the survival of the island- whether it should be preserved given the escapes or exterminated, whether these creatures are endangered species or a bioengineered infection, it could be neat.
What it needs back, though, is a double dose of the awe at both technology and nature that such creatures exist, ala "welcome to Jurrasic Park," and the brachiosaurs in the trees, and to get the dinosaurs back in their slow, stalking, jeep-and-kitchen-scene element, because they are seriously suffering from overexposure. Less running, more being trapped. Less daylight, more dinosaurs being patient, creepy, and birdlike.
What it definitely doesn't need is more characters carrying idiot balls. No sudden parasailing episodes. No building parks without redundant power. No destroying equipment vital to the safety of the bad guys to save dinos. No half-assed rescue missions by dentists or plumbers or whatever the hell William H. Macy was. The kids had a good part in the first one, but please, please, keep them away. No gymnastic fighting followed by quips. No one wandering off anywhere by themselves, or stealing (likely illegal-to-possess) eggs. No more new dinosaurs, and pretend that spinosaurus didn't happen- they got him wrong and the tyrannosaurs were better in any case. And sweet Jesus, can we flesh out some characters?
And please, can it adopt a different tone of discussion than "doing science=playing God=death by teeth?" It's tired. Give us a character defending the creation of the creatures that isn't an asshole or naive beyond belief. Mention how things could have gone better- it's almost a better moral about the dangers of corporate secrecy and corner-cutting than it is about the evils of genetic engineering. Maybe have someone that's using their knowledge of the creatures to hunt down the creatures on the mainland be simultaneously fighting to stop an overzealous government from napalming the island. After all, they are just animals, and at some point the existential terror of recreating a miniscule population of creatures isolated on an island that aren't immune to gunfire gets a little old. #jurassicpark
11/09/09
11/09/09
And just wandering around San Diego causing havoc!! That was awesome! #jurassicpark
11/09/09
11/09/09
Zombie Humans eat all Humans,
Zombie Humans eat Dinosaurs,
Zombie Dinosaurs eat Zombie Humans,
Zombie Dinosaurs eat all Zombie Humans,
Zombie Dinosaurs go off-island,
Zombie Dinosaurs eat Zombie Jaws. #jurassicpark
11/09/09
Zombie dinosaurs. That's genius.
Let's do lunch. #jurassicpark
11/09/09
11/09/09
11/09/09
If they really want to make another Jurassic Park movie then they need to make it more awesome.
I suggest the addition of dinosaurs that are equipped with lasers and jet packs because if there is anything that is totally effin' badass it's dinosaurs with lasers and jet packs.
They should also include a kung-fu battle on top of a dinosaur's back as well as robots, ninjas, monkeys, and pirates.
There should be a totally freaking sweet heavy metal soundtrack too in order to ensure the movie's overall intrinsic awesomeness. #jurassicpark
11/09/09
11/09/09
11/09/09
Everyone knew about the island reserve, but it was thought to be too dangerous. However our plucky young survivors agreed that if they were going to make a stand they would make it on...bum bum bum
Jurassic Park. #jurassicpark
11/09/09
11/09/09
11/09/09
11/09/09
The beginning seemed kinda typical, it was goin' along at a normal pace, but then when the hero woke up in the castle - and was greeted by the dino-hunting force (made up of genetically engineered dinos carrying high tech weapons and gear). Wow! LOL
It was so over the top, so nutty. At that point while reading it I figured, why the heck not!
Too bad that never happened. #jurassicpark
11/09/09
But I've always doubted my sanity regarding whether it ever actually existed. Sure my friends and I have talked about it, but all those remembered conversations could be just a symptom of my ever growing madness.
So Twisk I have to ask, are you real? #jurassicpark
11/09/09
11/09/09
11/09/09
11/09/09
Tagline: Nature found a way...For Pork Scratchings!!! #jurassicpark
11/09/09
The original was about man trying to control nature with technology until "nature finds a way" to kick our ass and eat us. The other movies were about stupid people going to islands with dinosaurs on them. The first one was a classic scifi narrative while the two sequels were constructed like cheesy horror movies. #jurassicpark
11/09/09
11/09/09
And quite frankly, I think such a "rediscovery" tale about the original island would be pretty sweet. Although, I have to admit, it would have been pretty sweet if the original (as good as it is) would have been more true to the book to begin with. #jurassicpark
11/09/09
11/09/09
Among other things, when they get to the raptor pen when they first get on the island, and the raptors try hunting them despite the fences. I would have loved to see that. #jurassicpark
11/10/09
11/09/09
Joe Johnston lost any say in making another dinosaur movie after the frankenstein abortion that was JPIII.
11/09/09
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11/09/09